


Stupid thoughts....

by Straj



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Genre: Benedict and all other background, John - Freeform, Other, Sherlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 234
Words: 106,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict - you're the coolest of all existing Sherlock`s.</p><p> </p><p> The original can be viewed   https://ficbook.net/readfic/2260578  <br/>https://ficbook.net/readfic/3887622</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first is a stupid idea

**Author's Note:**

> Beta -poeticapayge

London. Near the theater is raging crowd of fans. They are Benedict Cumberbatch. The type of medium height the crowd watching. He stands on the opposite side of the street and waiting.  
Finally the desired type appears.  
-Ben, I want you baby!!  
-Sign me the picture!  
\- You sign me in the stomach!!  
The hum of voices fills the street. Benedict, crooked smile, drags through the crowd. At some point, looks up and sees a poster drawn by hand.  
"They want from you baby? They want your picture? And I want to talk to you! But that's impossible!"  
Ben, not believing his eyes, reading, smiles and goes to the poster. Female fans rush after, and when Benedict reaches the opposite side there is no one there.

The poster and its owner appear every time Ben out of the theatre or film set. But he never waits approach Ben, disappearing before.

The Night. Walking down the street Ben whistling cheerfully. To him suddenly began to stick some types.  
-Hey, boy, smoke not is found? - pulling one of them.  
Offers Benedict:  
-And you let me photograph of a sign!  
\- You now we will sign, - smirk second. And the third is beginning to flex with the knife. All three drunk and so decisively. And one of them - the Anglo-African, two other white.  
-Is it possible, - because their spin heard the fourth voice, -what are you, the actors of the circus, in order to give out autographs?  
\- Ah! - Type with a knife makes the attack, but the fourth with all the strength, and smacks him on the head Board. Type falls. Others, forgetting about the first victim, pounce on the second. But the second pounding their heads and hands one knows where detached Board. When all three are on the asphalt, avenger with the Board enough Ben hand throws the Board and Ben pulls away.

Once under the lights of some streets, avenger, smiling Benedict looks at and says:  
-Sorry, I am behind you watched.  
-You just saved my life! -Says Ben, - so - thank you. What can I do for you?  
-You already do,- smiling his Savior, - you're talking to me. - Thank you. You can now disappear from London.  
-Is too little, - said Benedict, - where do you live?  
\- The hostel, - is reluctant to meet the Savior - on-the hotel I had no money, and when these end - go under the bridge...  
\- I'll - smiles Benedict, pulls out a cell phone and started to dial. When he completes a call, he sees that his unexpected Savior disappeared.


	2. Revenge John Watson

Revenge John Watson

John Watson - Nikita Mikhalkov  
Sherlock Holmes - Benedict Cumberbatch  
Mrs. Hudson - Nadezhda Mikhalkova   
Inspector Lestrade - Boris Moiseev  
Mycroft Holmes - Vladimir Zhirinovsky  
Irene Adler - Ksenia Sobchak  
Moriarty - Nikolay Valuev  
Moran - Fyodor Bondarchuk

A summary.  
1 series.  
Rich and good sir John Watson finds in the garbage scum bum - Sherlock Holmes. Takes him to his house in Baker street 221 B. In Addition, Mr. Watson, living Mrs. Hudson - illegitimate daughter of Mr. Watson from some Irene Adler. Sherlock obliged to restore order in the house, wash the dust from awards to clean the Blinker, recalculate disks and feed fighting vipers. Sherlock goes to work.  
2 series.  
Every morning Mr. Watson leave for work in a cab with a flashing light. A little later comes Lestrade. Sees a new servant and begins to dream, but business is business, and Watson no. Sherlock helps the inspector, but you come home and receives a complete ass, sees Boobs Mrs. Hudson, and on his head wear chocolate cake.  
3 series.  
Case of missing a flasher.  
4 series.  
The case of pirated CDs.  
5 series  
Moran and Watson fight on the edge of a precipice. They argued that cooler - tanks under sail or pink tank. Until they figure out the relationship, Moriarty collapses neck Holmes. By chance. Thus, Cumberbatch do not need to pay the fee.


	3. The thing about London fog.

-Holmes, where are we?  
\- Elementary, Watson! We in London!  
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson stood on the platform Kings Cross. Around noisy London, but this was not the London.  
-Holmes! What happened to the city?  
-I don't know, Watson. Need to smoke and think.  
Located near the train station, Holmes lit a cigarette. Next grew COP and fined.  
\- Dear, and how to get to Baker Street?  
-You... foreigners? - The policeman had sized them up. With two Victorian Clothes frightened faces  
-I see you're at the meeting, - the COP has sharply whistling passing near a black car. She obediently turned aside.  
\- Give to these gentlemen on Baker Street.

-Holmes!-Watson was nervous, - we left London sixth of March. Two weeks in Sussex. And in return we get the hell!  
\- It is necessary to find yourself at home by the fireplace and think.

On Baker Street was opened for them by an unknown woman.  
\- You Sherlock?  
-I - Sherlock Holmes, but who are you?  
\- Mrs. Hudson, but you don't Sherlock Holmes!  
-Where are you going Mrs. Hudson, dear?  
-Yes I live for many years! - The woman behind the door frowned.  
\- "Average height, elderly, incredulous,"- thought he.  
\- "A tall, thin, older Sherlock age seven,"- thought of March.  
-Is Baker street?  
\- Yes.  
\- 221 B?  
\- Yes.  
\- Let us in!  
March, reluctantly, they were let in and spent in the room. Watson and Holmes located with maximum comfort. In half an hour down came the voice velvet young.  
\- Mrs. Hudson, our guests?  
\- Yes, Sherlock, two absolutely strange person.  
They heard quick footsteps and broke into the room, a young man in the long black coat.  
\- Hello! With what came? Hmm,- dark - haired man raised an eyebrow, -really? Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I suppose, and Dr. Watson?  
\- But who are you?  
\- William Sherlock Scott Holmes, - replied the man, - I live here. Eight years already.  
-And while us here? - frightened said Watson.  
\- You from the train. Nothing strange trip was not?  
\- Fog. Near London we were covered with a veil of thick white fog, - said Holmes.  
\- Then it's not me, - Sherlock shrugged, - I mysticism are not engaged.


	4. Flower in the fog

Machine Benedict stuck on the bridge in traffic. The tube was large. Its beginning was sunk deep in the fog. Impenetrable thick White fog. Moved people hooted machine, but then the sounds faded away. Benedict felt anxiety . This, in General, quite predictable and ordinary, fog today somehow frightened him. Go out didn’t want to of the car. Ben adjusted his rear view mirror that reflected the fog, and looked forward. There was also a fog.

-" Morning today and the night were strange. All night some scraps of dreams dreamed," -incomprehensible anxiety thought Ben, - "not a good sign..." But then heard strange sounds. As if something heavy pushed through the iron - strained and furiously. No sooner had Benedict to listen , near car was a huge truck.The truck broke the car Cumberbatch to the bridge railing and pushed from a bridge. Ben from the pain of lost consciousness, and fall into the water for him went unnoticed.

Woke up Benedict from what someone persistently tugged at the sleeve of a jacket. Ben opened his eyes. He was under water. Beside it a strange man furiously tried to free him. Finally, he succeeded. Ben wanted to say thank you, it seems he is in shock, or how to explain this decision? Due mouth burst the bubbles. The Savior clung to him and breathed him in light of his air, and then brought to the surface. 

Ben was sitting on the steps of ambulances in the blanket and drinking hot coffee. Around the work was humming. On the promenade were several bodies, covered with tarpaulin. Ambulance was driving away from the promenade. The Police. Reporters, onlookers, with tablets and mobile phones.  
\- Mister, - he said to him, and the policeman, - identify.  
\- Benedict Cumberbatch.  
-So, - the policeman called one of the officers.  
-Mr. Cumberbatch, unfortunately, your car we get will not be able. But I would like to know how you got out of the drowning machine?  
\- Pulled some man ,-surprised at his eyebrows, Ben said.  
\- Will be able to describe?  
\- Yes. Below me, jeans, dark-haired in a black shirt... And he isn't yours?  
\- No. He had already pulled six, including you. Others describe it. And one of the witnesses says that this guy jumped from the bridge for the first of the fallen machine.  
-What it actually was?  
\- Drunk late long distance driver. To establish the whereabouts . To drive you home?  
\- If you can...

Ben had to wait, when it will find a free car. Ben left the ambulance and went to a police car. Around him scurried police and paramedics. Suddenly someone quickly and suddenly pressed against his back. Someone got wet. This lasted several minutes, and when Ben looked behind him was empty. But in the hand of Ben was wrinkled, a little wet, paper Tulip. Origami from tetrad sheet. Benedict turned the Tulip in the car. The flower was a note. Short Very.  
-"Thank for the words,"- it said.  
"Who was it?"- thought Benedict,-"who is my Savior?"


	5. The necrophilia, as a way of life

It was wonderful in all respects. Lost ten men before the relatives went to the police, and the police - to Sherlock.

People were lost on the street, on my way, on my way to work at home. There remained not the slightest clues, no witnesses. All worked version ended in deadlock. Sherlock went to every possible crime scene, rose to his feet and all his homeless. Nothing.  
John and Sherlock sat in the room. Matter Discussed .  
\- Sherlock, do you think, who could it be?  
\- John, I for the first time in a deadlock. No evidence, no clues,- Sherlock folded his hands in his favorite gesture - I have a bad premonition, although you know perfectly well that I do not trust them.  
-You need rest, - John rose from his chair, - I shall go and we will continue.  
\- Thank you.

But in the morning, Sherlock was not at home. Moreover, Mrs. Hudson, too, was not at home. The door was cracked on the outside. John discovered signs of a struggle and called the police.  
\- Yesterday Sherlock as behaved? - asked Greg.  
\- Normally, only said that he had a bad feeling.  
\- Clear.

Fine. Baker Street 221 the inhabitants when I came of asleep to visit them. The woman was awake, she opened me cute and we had a nice chat with her. Then I went upstairs. Mr. Holmes offered me resistance. He did not understand what had happened, as he went off into another world. I took the body in his truck, came back and created signs of a struggle, closed the door and broke it.  
When I got home I unloaded the material and went to work. First I processed Martha Hudson. The old woman demanded more processing time than Mr. Holmes. I took out all the organs and pickled them. My marinade is very special; it allows you to keep all body parts in pristine condition, so I was able to put everything back in place. Gut Martha, I rubbed it with a special compound and placed in a large marinade tub. There she had to spend a month. Then I went for Sherlock. He was delightful. Flesh soft, elastic. Cut well. I didn't touch his collarbone, and made an incision below the sternum. I did it guts the same thing with the internals of Martha. Then I started to RUB the body of Sherlock ointment. These virtually of a simple movement brought me, but I didn't defile Sherlock. It would be wrong. The only thing I decided affords to kiss him on the lips and gently lick his beautiful collarbone. Putting Sherlock in another marinade tub, I went to rest.

Disappeared a month suddenly John Watson, his wife, Mary Watson and their little daughter after. They disappeared with a difference in two days. John went to work and was gone, while his wife and daughter right from home. Greg and Mycroft knocked down. But the evidence was not. Suspiciously, but someone bought the house of Martha Hudson. Somebody went, clearly did the repair, but the new owner so no one saw.

Watson and his family came to me in a fresh condition. But before you start processing the fresh had to finish with my pickled. They already had dried, I took them all organs, and right dice patched sections and began the most wonderful their magic to make them come alive. After six hours Sherlock and March looked great. Not a wrinkle, live view, perfectly looking hair, teeth. Now they can be transported to the apartment.  
John passed me quickly; of course, he was losing his friend, but in General was also good. Placing it into the tub, I took for his wife. I admit, at first I used it as a woman, and then went to work. The work was successful, however it turned out that she was pregnant, but I did not marinate the fruit and then put it down. Finished with Mary Watson, I visited their daughter and fruit. I decided that I should not work on them, so I ransacked their daughter, liver sank, and the carcass was smoked, the fetus went into the stuffing. Now I was assured meat. But that was not all.

Another month has gone Greg - on the way to work, Molly - straight from the morgue and Irene Adler from the apartment. Panic In city. All pulled in different directions, but to investigate joined other forces. Baker Street was suspected, but, having broken open the door, the agents did not show anything suspicious. So they left the house alone, but found those ten that were missing before. They were at a table in a cheap hotel on the way to London. They looked alive, but the master sounded the alarm when he tried to give account. They were all dead. Four women and six men...

I put Sherlock in a chair and gave him a violin. His gaze was directed at John, who was sitting in another chair and reading a newspaper. Sherlock, I dressed in a lavender shirt (seductive tight to his muscular chest and exposes the vulnerable-touching clavicle), black jeans (they are so seductive covered with his hips). John was in the red shirt trousers and blue jeans. Mary and Martha were sitting in the kitchen of Martha and drinking tea. March was wearing a red knit dress with low-cut tops and black stockings. one leg I put in a black boat, the second boat was rocking on the toes of the other foot. Mary is in a pink blouse and white skirt - Maxi.  
After a month I have added new tenants. Molly, I dressed in a black turtleneck and grey trousers, dismissed her hair and planted next to Martha. Irene I placed on the bed of Sherlock. It was only a black robe. In the doorway Greg forever frozen leaning on the jamb. I have admired them. It was good. I photographed them on the tablet. And group photo each one individually. Cool was pretty. There were only a few strokes for full happiness.

Followed by Moriarty After some time has gone Mycroft. Now all stood on the ears the police, MI6, MI5. It was a very difficult task. "Puppeteer", “Scarecrow ", "Taxidermist"- this is called the elusive killer Newspapers. But to calculate it could not.

The Mycroft was sitting on the couch, and Moriarty writhed on the floor. Now all the painting was completed. I filmed this on a tablet and posted on the web. And now we had to satisfy my baser desires.  
I finished well after midnight. Adjusting my handsome men and beautiful women, I went off in the night. Now I had to find a new victim...


	6. Lace snow in sleepy London

Benedict Cumberbatch woke up from the cold. It is. Cardboard box, under which he slept, was blown down by a gust of wind, and carried away in the middle of the street. Ben got up, pulled his backpack, shook himself and looked up at the sky. Grey leaden clouds gathered over the city. Or maybe Rain snow. But it became clear that it was necessary to find a new shelter.

Disaster comes unexpectedly. Quietly and Suddenly. No meteorites, asteroids, super volcanoes and SUPERLINE. One day we all woke up to find that the world has changed. who are far beyond semi desert who was sixteen years old, Lost all who was sixteen and those and remained at this age. And remained twenty those who were twenty and older younger Teens those who were twenty. It was not gradually. It happened in one night. The world collapsed. Time a short For. Then the panic subsided. And the world was destroyed completely.

Ben walked around Oxford street in the hope of some little bit of suitable shelter for the night. London after the disaster was rapidly destroyed. Some houses were still living, but mostly at home quickly deteriorated and became uninhabitable. Who entered the singles, not to die on the streets Organized community/ gang/ commune.   
Ben could join the BBC, but being young, he had not felt the desire to communicate with someone, especially after he took full glory with a spoon. So he wandered through the city, stealing from the dead stores of food and clothing. But the weather after the disaster had not asked. The torrential rains, strong wind...

Animals run wild so that could tear small even during the day, especially in parks and squares. So there was nobody went. Ben reached someone dilapidated house, looked up at the sky and shivered. Even in three layers of clothing Ben was cold. Then he saw three guys and one girl, muffled to the ears, robbing a grocery store. He passed, and then returned.  
\- Hello!  
-Who are you? - Asked one of the boys, - probably from a local gang?  
\- I'm on my own, - replied Ben, - I'm very hungry, and could you give me bread and water? Please.  
-Why not, -replied the girl, pulled out of the bag baguette and a liter bottle of water,- take it to health.  
\- Why give away our food, Lana? - said the second guy.  
-He's one, - said the girl, - he asked politely, not attacked. Let him get lucky.  
-Let you are lucky too! - said goodbye to Ben and went on his way.

Through four quarters from where he was given food, he ran into less friendly people, from which he had to flee. After running quite a lot, Ben slipped into a dilapidated house, and pressed to the cold wall... took a Breath, ate some bread and drank water. Around Looked Decided to stay here overnight. Gently shrank in less blown the corner, hands in his pockets, his shoulders and took a NAP.  
To him someone was hooked Woke up because. Ben pressed back against the wall, but his eyes opened to look at. Next person was also all wrapped up. From under the scarf was seen in two eyes.  
\- Frozen? - Hoarsely asked the stranger.  
-Yes, what?  
\- Bask want?  
-I'd like, but..., - Ben looked at the stranger. The offer was tempting but very suspicious. What if this type of trades people?  
\- Do not trust? That's right, - the stranger stood up, - come on. I don't do anything bad.  
And Benedict went with him.


	7. Lace snow sleepy London. part 2

The stranger led Ben to the ruins and pulled him invisible from the street hole. Inside was a clothing store, shop coats, supermarket and café. But it is Ben found out later. But at the moment the stranger had put Ben in front of the small fire, put it in the hands of a Cup of tea and disappeared in the darkness. The tea was hot. Benedict quietly drank his, enjoying the warmth. The stranger returned and began to fry it in a pan of sausages. Six sausages on the two of them were enough for the eyes. Having eaten and drunk tea, Ben felt that his eyes were closed. Using the fact that the host has left the guest, Ben drove myself home from service in the darkest corner and went to sleep. 

While sausages and tea warmed him, everything was fine, but when food is digested, Ben began to freeze. Attempts closer to nestle himself gave nothing except the urge to use the toilet. Ben tinkered and tinkered until he felt someone touch his shoulder.  
\- Why are you lying here? - Asked the stranger, - then the coldest corner, breezy, cold, wet. You're probably in the toilet want?  
-Yeah, - muttered Ben.  
\- Clearly, - unfamiliar guy took him in frozen toilet cafe, and then led to a small tent made of fur. Put it there. Ben fumbled with his hands. There were fur coats on the walls on the floor.  
\- Go here - the guy pulled Ben's sleeve jacket,- the jacket shoot and under the head, shoes the same place.  
When Ben did it, the owner of the tent was covered with his coat. Ben cringed under the fur coat. It was cold, and Ben could not get warm. It ended up being his neighbor, sleeping under the same coat, pulled him to her, clung to him.... and then Ben relaxed, warm, and fell asleep.

Ben remained in the lair of the stranger. And the cold, which is not allowed to sleep, came from snow, which took place at night. The ruins were turned into a large snowdrift. Ben woke up and got out of the fur of the tent. Owner fussed about the fire. Darkness was no more, and was a dull grey light.  
-Hi, - said Ben.  
\- Hello. As sleep? - replied the stranger, raising his head.  
\- Well. And what's your name? - Asked Ben, - me - Ben.  
\- And me - Mick,-the guy smiled; - actually, I'm not from London. Before I came here to help the local police to catch a serial killer, and there's such a thing happened. And that's all.  
-You a COP? - Ben incredulously looked at Mick`s, - why don't you go in?  
\- I don't want. And who are you?  
Just like that, - Ben walked over to the remains of the Windows and looked through them.  
\- I don't want to talk about? Well. Go and eat, BEN! - The last word Mick highlighted, showing that it is not believed the words of his new friend.  
\- And there's the snow?  
\- Yes. We provided food for about six months and then have to look for food.  
-Then it will be spring! - flashed knowledge of Ben,- and summer.  
\- Yes. And all served in a rural area of the country...

 

****

Ben and Mick became friends. They lived in these ruins during the whole winter. Mick knew more severe winters, so sometimes gave out some things, deeply shocking Ben - for example, bathed in snow and washed things. After some thought, Benedict also began to do so. The plumbing did not work, and the feeling of cleanliness was enjoyable. They both even had a shave and haircut. Came out crooked but Oh well. And when spring came, they had to move in a cafe, because the neighboring supermarket building broke down and fell right on their ruins, falling directly on the tailor, fur and a supermarket. Guys somehow evacuated their belongings and settled in a cafe. And on the first day of spring came the guests. They had to withstand the most brutal fight for their territory. Guests they drove.

Mick week went to investigate. Ben remained in the café. He cleaned everything, made some tea and sat down near the window. The sun slipped behind the distant ruins, finally reflected in the surviving glass and left, and Mick is still not there. Snow partially melted, partly not. Ben made coffee, drank and began to worry. When the final was dark, and the wind caught up with gray clouds, Ben went to the bathroom and walked past the back door, heard a gentle alarm. Pay attention but did not. They were surrounded by a lot of sounds. The moaning of the wind, the rustle of crumbling bricks, beams creak. But going back, I heard again the strange sounds and decided to watch. Opened the door and looked out. Sticking Mick outstanding beam resting in a. Seeing Ben, he slowly began to settle. Ben barely had time to catch it. The room straight to the fire dragged him into. Mick... he was wounded. His sweater was wet with blood. Ben quickly partition friend and found the wound. He had nothing to heal each other. So Ben had cleansed the wound with whiskey, which is found in the bar, and was bandaged one of the shirts. Now we just had to trust in God.

Mick, bandaged, lying under a fur coat, next to him, snuggling up to him, laying Ben and hurriedly whispered to a friend:  
-I am an actor, my name is Benedict Cumberbatch and can you remember me? And even if not, just don't die, Mick. Please live long enough to become. I will stay with you and never forsake you. Please - tired, Ben asleep, buried Mick`s in the shoulder in the shoulder. And in a dream he heard:  
\- I will survive, Ben.


	8. Fast, smart and nerdy.

Mojave Desert. On the hot sand move young tall brunette in a black wide-brimmed hat, black shirt, and jeans, a long coat and black boots. All richly yellow dust powdered with. Face and neck closes black long scarf. On the belt hang two military revolvers. The horse fell forty miles ago. But the man stubbornly continues the journey on the yellow desert, which is far ahead, merges with the dark ridge of mountains, which in turn whitish back from the heat of the sky.

Miles thousand ahead.

Town Small. As dead horse Lethargic . Golden fields. On one edge of town - a middle-aged man in ragged jeans and a faded flannel shirt washes his hands at the well. From the house came the squeak baby. The man smiles: "the Birth was difficult, but all are alive."  
On the one hand is a small building with the sign «BANK". The dim window could be seen high balding man in a dazzling white shirt, black pants, purple vest and Mexican tie-strap. He sat at the table and brought debit to credit.  
On the opposite side was located merry institution - "Velvet legs". On the top floor diva institutions were chosen outfit.

Evening.

The rain Bringing grace and coolness now. Noisy in Velvet Legs evening. On the stage of the divine Irene Adler and her girlfriends - Molly Hooper, Martha Hudson and Mary Morstan. Playing four For far.  
One of them played badly, but the stakes were low and the rest of us sat at the table just to relax. The brunette looked closely at his partner on the game  
-"Not married, on the index finger of the left hand - the stain of iodine, minor cuts from the scalpel. The average age. Bearing Military. He was wounded. A veteran of the War for independence. Doctor. Military."  
-"Boring, bossy and to impose their views. Has a girlfriend, not married. Likely to be overweight. Most likely the banker."  
\- "The graying man of forty, silent but attentive. Honest, incorruptible. The local Sheriff."

The one who was a banker, too, looked at the brunette.  
-“Snob. Processes Prone to thinking. Doesn't like people. Perhaps Federal or Marshal."

But then a door opened and the institution became the type in black. He guided sitting on two colt and purring voice said:  
\- Sherlock! Well, how is it? Left me without saying a word! And I thought we were friends!?


	9. Hungry journey.

Famine. He came suddenly. " ...and died for all living things..." the World has changed, but not for the better. Food was scarce. The old men died first, small children or were eaten or died from various diseases. Main adult population barely survived.

Benedict and Martin walked along the deserted street of the glorious city of Los Angeles. They sailed from hungry London five months after the basic supplies of food were eaten. Their friendly team broke up. First ate Moffat, then Gatiss, then gradually reached the operator, and he suddenly decided that the best meat must be Martin. And they both Benedict and Martin just ran away. Got on the ship to America, been travelling a long time, eating corn, squirrels, cats, dogs. But soon it ended. And the guys have crept in the city of Angels utterly exhausted. 

Martin first saw the man who was stuck next to thoroughly battered jeep and tried either to fill a car, or something to put in it.  
\- Ben, coming back and jammed Board, - Martin did not conceal his excitement, - keep the Bulletin Board.  
\- Well, - husky whisper muttered Ben, trying to keep the saliva at the sight of meat.  
The guy turned around abruptly. At him from two sides approached the two. One long thin in thoroughly battered mind and jeans wrinkled shirt and completely broken sneakers. Hair bleached blond, tanned to black. The second is a short, dark-haired and dressed about as well as his friend. Both were holding the Board. He pulled his hat over his eyes, and returned to the interrupted task.

The attack failed. The guy managed to disarm very quickly. Benedict and Martin went sprawling in the dust of the road, hoping for the best.  
\- Kill?-asked Ben Martin.  
\- I don't know, he may just fatten and sell...  
The stranger had finished his work, came to the boys, took them by the scruff and threw them in his jeep. Got behind the wheel, and the car took off.  
\- Well, - Martin seriously went limp body, - Hansel and Gretel.  
\- Yes, it's bad,-Ben swallowed.  
The guy brought them to himself. It was a small two-story house outside the city. Around it grew a lot of fruit trees and bushes. The house went on the little lagoon. To the second floor and were sent to separate rooms the guy brought both.

Three months went to Benedict and Martin recovered. They learned something about their Savior. His name was Mick, the name he called not. He worked for the police to hunger, but after hunger Mick remained a police officer, despite the fact that police stations are ordered to live long. 

Lived Together. The food was, but the meat was over. Mick tried to get the meat, but sometimes in the plates lay fish, vegetables, mushrooms. Starving Englishmen extremely irritated, not having meat for dinner. But Mick somehow comes out of that situation. But after a couple of months meat ended in a radius of five kilometers. The fish also. And they all sat down on the vegetable diet.  
-We want meat! - Once said Martin.  
\- You would think, - replied Mick, digging in a little vegetable garden, - from vegetables nobody died.  
-I don't think so!  
-Take a club and go looking for meat, - said Mick.

The meat they received. Week Through. A little piece. Is very small. After another week So a couple of months another piece.  
-Let's finish this guy,-once said Martin Benedict. They both washed vegetables from the garden. Mick`s was not in the house.  
-Why?-surprised Benedict, - us fed, watered, and allowed to spend the night. And you want to kill this guy? I don't want to participate.  
\- No meat. We don't get the vitamins, proteins, and its bad effect on us.  
\- And where do we look better? - Reasonably asked Ben, - the movie was over.  
-And I'm going; - Martin took the knife and walked out the door.  
Ben followed him. Mick showed up on the dock. It seems that he was trying to find a replacement for meat.  
\- What would you like? - turned to him, raised his eyebrows. Saw the knife,- and...So that's how. Well, I was expecting it. The fridge will accommodate all. Better here. Blood will flow down into the sea and may attract fish. Martin, will you let me take his shirt off?  
\- Of course.  
Mick took off his shirt, and under it he found the bandages and bandages the wound. Wounds on the chest - arms ribs. Mick stared at the guys, and they are confused and in a daze staring at him. Then Martin... turned and walked away. Benedict went to Mick`s and hugged him.  
\- Thank you.  
\- Yes, I...  
\- Anything. Let us go into the house, you have to lie. 

Winter fell on California suddenly. Winter killed all. I managed to collect, he left. Frosts were hard and harsh. Mick has long recovered from his wounds. But a forced diet was too harsh. Mick once called Martin.  
-How do you feel?  
The conversation took place in the kitchen.  
\- Shitty. Hungry.  
-Oh, - Mick took the knife, opened his veins on wrist, poured into a glass and gave it to Martin,- Pei!  
He obediently drank the salty thick blood.  
\- Here is the knife. Kill me and eat.  
\- No. Mick, I can't, - Martin shook his head, - you too have done a LOT for us.  
\- Well. The topic is closed.  
After another week Mick offered the same Benedict. He also refused.

-Something must be done, - Martin sat on the bed and looked at Benedict.  
\- What?  
\- Mick too cares about us. But we have to do something!  
\- Sacrifice? Who But?  
\- Ben. I love you and all the years that we spent together will remain for me the happiest memory. But...  
\- Martin, - Ben raised his eyebrows, inwardly wincing from the words of Martin. He understood what all this is about.  
-No, will you forgive me? You don't have to do this?  
-Yes!-strongly Ben said. 

Ben was preparing dinner for himself, and no Martin, but the presence of meat in the soup, Mick alarmed.  
-I'm not going to ask you where the meat... because, it seems, you know, - said Mick, sending a spoonful of soup into his mouth.  
\- Don't worry, - a smooth voice answered Ben,- with a little bit more and it will be spring. Snow melt and everything will grow.  
\- I understood.

The spring has come. The food was gone. The boys went in search of food. They did not return for next winter.  
A year later grew the tree next to the two blackened skeletons somewhere on the border with Canada. They are intertwined in a death embrace. Mick even before his death, tried to keep a dying friend fixed his vein as the life-giving source.


	10. Action on fetus

The first action  
Prelude  
*****

God

I accuse!

Sherlock

What happened here?  
Here the tree and meadow.  
The tree Bits lot under.

God

Those who hide  
Over there in the bushes,  
Fear me,  
Ate all the fruits,  
Although they had agreed,  
That tree  
THE FRUIT IS NOT THERE! 

Sherlock

Debonair!  
The evidence I see,  
But if eaten  
They...  
Those who in the bushes...  
Until proven.

God

I didn't  
Here I have brought you,  
To listen to the nonsense,  
You're the detective was once,  
Your soul is not in hell,  
Not in Paradise, do not belong.  
You know who it  
Knocked out will think about you.

Sherlock

I would have John here  
And that's all. I'll be happy  
Centuries many For.  
Spit on Paradise,  
Hell spit,  
I only friend  
Soul...

God

See will.

The second act  
Beginning.  
**********

Sherlock

Let us from the bushes,  
Go here  
Want to talk.

Out of the bushes comes a woman

Sherlock

Madam, who are you?  
Tell me your name  
And what happened here?

Eve

I am eve, the woman of Adam,  
From his ribs  
I have created.  
Lie beneath  
Tree. Suddenly  
To me slides of snakes  
Says:  
-"Worthy of a better life  
You"  
To him I say:  
-Would you  
Away Somewhere.

Sherlock

And what was he like?

Eve

He offered  
I...  
Apple and said,  
It would give me  
Strength, intelligence and beauty!

Sherlock

But snakes...  
One had in mind?  
Bits I see a bunch

Eva (in confusion)

Well, I'm not one...  
One, and second there  
Already Five. Adam came  
I shared...

The man appears.

Sherlock

Listen, friend  
Your girlfriend says,  
What tree you both eat up?  
And by the way, who are you?

Adam

Adam, I,  
The apples gave me a wife  
Eve My.

Sherlock

And the snake you saw?

Adam

No.

 

Act three.  
The serpent of the appearance  
*******************************

Snakes

What do I see?  
Sherlock, are you?  
And I said,  
That you are not in Paradise,  
No way in hell didn't take?  
Ile did I hear?

Sherlock

You're right.  
I'm at the crossroads,  
My friend, he is yet alive,  
I was told once,  
That my soul will be gone  
Where there is no hell  
Not Paradise...  
Perhaps there I  
And will send their feet...

Snakes

And what are you  
Here forgotten?

Sherlock

Sent me here  
Divine power...  
Told me to disclose  
One of the crimes...  
Boring But.  
And you mixed in this case.

Snakes

You got  
Ile woman said?

Sherlock (smiling)

When life  
I read the Bible,  
Though an atheist became...

Snakes

And, Apple  
Can I offer?

Sherlock

No,  
And not hiss in my ear,  
I still do not believe.  
I charges  
Idiots off with those...

You receive God.  
***************  
God

Well, how are you?

Sherlock

Snakes fault,  
And if exactly  
The company Apple,  
And the serpent their representative...

God

Fear God,  
What a damn Apple?  
There won eve  
With it Adam...  
I And...  
And Apple only  
In the twenty-first century!!!

Sherlock (shrugging his shoulders)

And as you wish,  
You needed an answer?  
I gave it to you,  
And if you don't like it,  
Then you delve,  
And I went...

God

You have no soul  
PAL.

Sherlock (sad)

Well, what  
So I  
Again one  
And howling in the ruins...  
I'll be waiting  
A friend of yours..


	11. It's clear as mud. Part 1

Rock. Big rock, bottom covered with algae, moss, which covers the exposed cracks and stones and top - knotted trees. Castle the trees among. The feeling is that he literally grows out of the rock. The castle is open to wind and rain.

In the castle lived few people. Sir Montgomery de Woolas, lady Brunhild de Woolas and their children - Roland -16 years, Etzel- 14 years, Sid - 10 years, Franks - 5 years and Hilda-2 years. Another six servants the Butler, the gardener, the chaplain and Keeper.

One fine night, under cover of cold autumn rain, made the bloody thing. In the morning, to find a chaplain, nailed nails on the gates of the castle. He's dead. Sir Montgomery sends Butler in the city, that he brought the police. But the police don't want to go to hell, so the Butler returned to the castle...

*****

After a few days, when the poor priest had already been buried, as the autumn wind began to chant over a fresh grave, at the gates of the castle post charismatic opened. On doorsteps two stood. Tall guy in a black coat from which flowed streams of water and. A small man in brown jacket soaked jeans.   
\- Lord, who are you? - Suspiciously asked the Butler.   
\- Sherlock...Holmes, - he coughing high.  
\- John Watson, - replied the second, - we lost. Can you sleep?  
-No problem, - the Butler raised his chin and held intruders in the far and high the room. In North Tower. There was only one room, however, with integral shower and toilet. One Window large North. The room led screw creaking of a rusty ladder.   
\- Dinner at eight! - roared the Butler, and his steps squeaked down.

-Sherlock, undressed and quickly into the bathroom, -said John, taking off his jacket.  
-Can you, first? - Sherlock was not feeling well.  
-Quickly in hot water, went come on,- John stripped off his friend's coat, jacket, shirt - all thoroughly soaked and pushed Sherlock into the bathroom. After about an hour Sherlock came out, wrapping her in a large towel.  
\- How are you?  
\- Better...  
-Fine, - smiled John, - I'll go down and find out where you could dry our things, and you come under the blanket.  
-Without dinner?  
-I'll get you, - said John, - you need to warm up, otherwise you will get sick.

When John returned, Sherlock was asleep. He's in the cabinets found a nightgown and nightcap. The bed was big, and so John was glued somewhere on the side. Hid the second blanket and drifted off to sleep, just thought I ask the Butler to allocate them to another room.

******

This evening came two more. In tweed plaid coat in caped man a little older tall young man. They called Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson.


	12. It's clear as mud. Part 2

In the morning following was discovered. The first guests - one, indeed, gray-eyed young brunette responded to the name of Sherlock Holmes. The second guest is a dark brown Shorty - John Watson. Brunette arrived at the castle in a black shirt, jeans, shoes, jacket,tweed long coat and a dark blue scarf. The second t - shirt, plaid shirt, red, grey sweater, brown jacket, black jeans and lace-up shoes.

Second visit - thin man, looking younger than his companion, but over the first guest. He was dressed in a white shirt, gray vest, a long gray coat with a Cape and a hat. The second shirt, vest, plaid coat and bowler hat. The first name is Sherlock Holmes and second by Dr. John Watson. 

Guests had Breakfast and left. The first lived in the North tower, the second - in the South. No sooner had the day to enter in their own right, came two more. One looked like a revolutionary crumpled shirt, jacket indeterminate color, wrinkled, gray wrinkled pants. Unshaven round face and round nihilistic glasses. His name was... Sherlock Holmes. The second light coat on the neck of a large plaid scarf, hat, white shirt, vest, pants and boots. Plus briefcase. The look he threw at the Butler, was heavy. And the Butler suddenly felt himself on the operating table, around which stood the man and picked the gun - scalpel? Knife? The axe? Or maybe a chainsaw? This strange man's name was John Watson.

And by the end of the day in the castle arrived the type with lots of Luggage, also called ...Sherlock Holmes and elegant type....Dr. John Watson.


	13. In distant London lights went out...

\- Holmes, where you go at night? - Watson barely restrained anger.  
\- Dr. Watson, sorry, but Gregson said that in the area of Oxford street saw a suspicious couple, - said Holmes, taking off her wet fancy dress and sitting by the fireplace.  
\- I'm not restless, - Watson, ensuring that Holmes is in place, went to his room.

\- Holmes! Damn you took! - Irritated Watson was tapping his cane on the stairs, - where do you sure? We have a meeting tomorrow at the highest level, and you will look like a psycho!?  
\- Watson, fullness, on Oxford street saw suspicious people,- Holmes got rid of the attire of a prostitute and sat down at the table, - what do we have for dinner?  
\- For you... nothing. Who was the first at the table it appears, that all and eats.

-My Dear Holmes! You don't look? - Dr. Watson scrutinized thin face each other, - you all right?  
\- My dear friend, I am very sorry about what caused you to worry, - Holmes sat down in an armchair and lit a pipe, - but Mycroft said that there is a threat to HER Majesty!  
\- Holmes, but this is no reason to run in the rain in the costume shop! - Indignantly exclaimed Dr. Watson.

-Well, to change quickly! - Watson kick put Holmes into the bathroom.  
\- Watson, why are you so?- from behind the door came an indignant voice.  
\- But it was not necessary in the rain to run, hell knows where!!!- Watson was furious.  
And Holmes heard, sitting in the bathtub, as the good doctor begins to sharpen a knife and covered with cold sweat.

\- Sherlock, how is you?  
-Yes sir, - replied Sherlock, compressing bare feet under her, - have you seen today on Oxford street suspicious of scavenger, a prostitute and homeless?  
\- Yes, what?  
\- They were men. Ought not to do it Dressed although they. The question is why?  
\- Why is that?  
\- To change! - Sherlock raised his eyebrows,- they're on Oxford street was stuck until midnight.  
-...and we went down,-John looked at his friend, - I think we're being followed?  
\- I don't know, don't know, - Sherlock pressed back against the sofa,picked up his feet,- cold, John.  
-Of course, cold, no firewood and no money.  
\- Clear. Sorry. Any work. Boring. And Mrs. Hudson where?  
\- Went for a month in Devonshire relatives.  
\- Hmm.

\- All old, all predictable!  
\- The explosion of the Palace?  
\- Was.  
-The rape?  
-It was  
\- Terror?  
\- Was. All this was! - a man in a leather mask was sitting at the table, littered with drawings,- all old... You brought me what I asked?  
-Yes, - the second man was dressed in a leather robe to toe, - in the yard all lies. What will we build?  
\- Monster. I hope.

"Monster breaks down the building!"  
« Green monster Boat on the Thames sinking!"  
"The powerlessness of the police!"  
"The Queen prays for help!"  
"The army failed!"  
\- Sherlock Holmes.  
\- Sherlock Holmes!  
\- Sherlock Holmes?  
\- Sherlock Holmes.  
\- Sherlock Holmes.  
\- SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!!!


	14. In distant London lights went out... Part 1

On Oxford Street hung out a few people. Two depicted gentleman with the slut, the two old man and woman. Two – Profess r student. Two - homeless people.  
-Holmes, what are these people doing here? - mumbled the old woman.  
-Follow, - creaked the old man.

-Holmes, stop to hug me, it becomes indecent! - Indignant whisper was indignant Watson.  
-No roll, Watson, - hissed Holmes.

-Holmes, you are a moron!  
\- You might think that you didn't know!

\- Sherlock, the idea of homeless people - shit!  
-Sorry, you cold?  
\- I feel bad...  
-Now, - Sherlock clung to his friend, - come on, I'm your sweater will wear...  
\- Buzz off...

Shook the bridge, and there was a great iron monster green. He growled, emitting steam and smoke, and began to tear down the house. Witness the monster is simply not noticed. The lady with the gentleman ran away from the falling rocks, the old man and the old woman developed not senile speed. Professor and student threw a monster incendiary mixture, and two homeless promptly began to clamber on monster.  
Upstairs he found the cabin, and there...


	15. Misfortune

Sherlock sat at the table in the kitchen and enthusiastically staged experiments. He did this in the morning, noticed nothing. Suddenly the door banged downstairs, confident steps approached the door. Sherlock raised his head.  
\- Hey, Joe... Mycroft? What happened?  
\- Take, - brother handed him a slip of paper.  
On the paper was written the following -"AND the ELEPHANT ALL TREMBLING, AND SAT down ON the HEDGEHOG".  
\- And?  
\- You need to know that so frightened the elephant,- calmly replied Mycroft.  
\- But why? - Sherlock raised his eyebrows, but suddenly his eyes flashed fear,- but you have not seen today John?  
\- No,why?  
\- John!!!!!!!!!- with a wild cry Sherlock slipped on his coat and departed from the house.


	16. Meat

John slowly raised his hand and touched the breast of Sherlock. He lay on the bed, on his back and slept. The blanket is lost, opening slowly rising chest. John ran a hand along the sternum, holding to the clavicle, stroked Sherlock's throat and patted each other on cheek. It was the shadow of long lashes. Sherlock slept peacefully and calmly.  
-Sorry, Sherlock, - muttered John, holding it to his nose buddy wool with chloroform. He took a deep breath and went limp.  
\- All right, Sherlock, all will be well,-John has prepared a scalpel, alcohol, ditch, roll threads, clamps and a certain substance resembling jelly. He felt the right pectoral major muscle, cut and turned down the skin and cut it. Put in a ditch, and muscles put a jelly-like mass. Was bandaged Sherlock wound, changed the sheets and blanket, and then went to bed myself. The piece of meat he gave Mycroft.

Sherlock woke up in the morning, reached out and almost lost consciousness from the pain. But then came John and brought him food.  
\- What happened? - asked Sherlock, seeing in myself the bandage. He could have sworn that evening bandage was not.  
-On thee in the night, an unknown assailant with a knife, -not batting an eye, lied to John, - but I got you beat. However, he you hurt...  
\- Really? - narrowed his eyes at Sherlock. John was VERY honest eyes.  
\- Accurately.

Following day on the.  
-John, why don't you let me out of bed? I can't just fall down!  
-Your wound was deep, I want to watch...  
\- John, - Sherlock sighed, - who really struck me this wound?  
\- I have no idea.  
Again this is an honest expression.

Week Aftera.  
-Well?  
\- Healed perfectly,-John studied the surgical site. The jelly-like substance survives.  
\- Finish my review, John.  
-Wait, - John felt a muscle,-not hurt?  
-No...   
\- Excellent .   
Sherlock stretched.  
\- Don't feel pain?  
\- No.  
\- Can go about their business. Free.  
-Ago would be so, - Sherlock reached for his shirt.

Through the month.  
\- Mycroft, why do you need muscle Sherlock?  
\- The security questions are not responsible.


	17. Forest Of The Dead

In one fairy-tale, and may not be fabulous, the country in the small charming town, lurking on the banks of the river under the canopy of tall mountains, covered with tall pine trees, stood the house. House a tiled roof such a small cute with. Under the roof was a small window, it gave access to the tiny room. And in it lived a wonderful child. Skinny tall boy with hair the color of Raven's wing and eyes the color of forest lakes. A Black Scarf called .

And then one day sent his master of the house to see good old teacher, who lived on the edge of the forest, with the river in the dark forest with a bad reputation.  
\- Here, Black Scarf, a basket, - said the tall gray-headed man, the master of the house,- pies, pot of sour cream, a package of butter, a bottle of whiskey, ten grams of marijuana, packaging of tablets, a bunch of herbs from the hip, a gas canister, adjustable wrench, nicotine patches, magnifier, started a pack of cigarettes and lighter. Go, without turning aside from the basket anything to eat. I will follow you into the telescope to observe.

Put a Black Scarf his old black dress, pulled a tattered jeans, pulled his worn jacket, wound neck, a black scarf, shod worn combat boots, took the basket and hit the road. He walked across the bridge that separated the city from the forest, and stopped thinking. From where he stood, ran three roads. Three paths. As for what to go to get to a good old woman, a Black Scarf didn't remember. And he went on the right.

Overgrown path to the castle and led his first. Was the castle braided hawthorn, sow Thistle, Thistle, wild roses and wild roses? And next to this impenetrable barbed wall lay two skeletons of horses and humans. Black Scarf pulled out a magnifying glass, put the basket and began to examine the skeletons.  
-The horse died of old age, - black scarf, muttered aloud, - and people from hunger. He was a knight. I wonder why he wanted to get into the castle, and then took, - a black scarf serrated sword, and struck him in the shadow. Opening the passage and scattered thickets. Then he took a black scarf his basket and took it.  
Castle decayed, and the inhabitants thereof crumbled with age. And raised Black Scarf in a high tower, and opened the heavy door and entered the white room. And smelled those faded flowers. And approached a Black Scarf to bed, and there lay the beautiful young girl of great beauty. But upon entering the room, a Black Scarf broke the seal. And in the eyes of the astonished Black Scarf, the beauty of the girls faded, faded, wrinkled skin, eyes failed.... and a couple of minutes only handful of dust indicated that somebody was lying. And got destroyed lock, Black Scarf only managed to get out as collapsed masonry and over the dead erected truly Royal mausoleum.

From the ruined castle led another trail. Black Scarf, without hesitation, walked on it. This path led him to the foot of the old tower. The tower was high. Black Scarf put the basket on the grass and lifted his head. At arm's length something dangling in the air. Black Scarf jumped up, grabbed it and yanked. And at that moment it was covered by a silver cloud, and then something else struck him on the head. Black Scarf crawled out from behind the fallen and looked down. It had long silver hair, and what struck him on the head, the skull.  
-Someone died there of hunger, no, most likely from old age,- a Black Scarf dug a hole and buried a long-haired skull. Then he picked up his basket and went on.

It was late summer, but the weather in the dark forest was autumn. Black leafless trees grimly hung over the path. Any animal not ran, no birds flew. Black Scarf went and went and went out on a high mountain. And on this mountain hung a crystal coffin, and in it a skeleton, dressed up in women's dress. Stood a Black Scarf around this abode of death and began to descend. And he heard suddenly creepy soul singing:  
Us why dig  
In mine the whole day?  
We are so rich,

If you don't believe check it out!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
The meat we catch!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
At stake will broil!  
Black Scarf pulled out of a basket adjustable wrench and a can of gas. Lurked around a large stone a basket for stone hid.  
-This Knocker is  
Pickaxe head will break!  
And followed Doc  
It is in the skeleton knows what's what!

Ho-Ho-Ho  
The meat we catch!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
At stake will broil!

Here comes the Joker  
Master meat, Bab and fights,  
Followed trudges Slip  
And the skeleton, God forbid, laundered!

Ho-Ho-Ho  
The meat we catch!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
At stake will broil!

But our modest one  
Guy,  
The meat on the ribs  
His joy!

Ho-Ho-Ho  
The meat we catch!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
At stake will broil!

Followed by Chan is  
The huge knife he was carrying,  
Behind all Simpleton,  
All he is doing wrong!

Ho-Ho-Ho  
The meat we catch!  
Ho-Ho-Ho  
At stake will broil!

When they caught up with Black Scarf and saw him, yelled at the bad votes. Flashed picks hammers and knives. A black Scarf was released tear gas, grabbed a basket and was gone.

He fled, and very quickly got to the house of his beloved teacher, his master - Grandmother Martha. Grandmother Martha was not one. She was the guest hunter Jim. She took from the hands of the orphan basket and ransacked it.  
-A black Scarf, you on which track was it?  
\- On the right.  
-What did you see along the way?  
\- Covered castle, the old tower and the crystal coffin.  
-And the dwarves have not seen?  
\- Saw, - smiled the Black Scarf,-but I ran away from them.  
-And the wolf is not seen?- asked the hunter Jim.  
\- No.  
\- You would be in Martha, allowed to eat orphan, and then I would take him.  
-That's right, - he announced the good old lady, and fed Black Scarf pies.  
Having eaten, Black Scarf preparing for a journey, but the hunter Jim took him by the arm and led him.

The way they lay in a distant castle. And when they arrived, they found three completely gnawed skeletons.  
-What's happened, a Black Scarf?  
-The attack, -replied the boy, - but it's not a wolf.  
-You know, it's the dwarves-the cannibals. A hundred years ago they ate the Princess Snow white, which unknowingly has come to their house, and the curse fell on them and the forest.  
-How can I help? - asked a Black Scarf.  
-I'm as bait will do, - replied the hunter Jim, charging the musket.  
\- Dad, and you may not want? - Whining voice said Black Scarf;-I still live and live...  
\- Your brother, now king Umbrella in one of the States does not want to see you.  
-And I do have a brother? - Surprised Black Scarf, - you...  
\- Come on out for the gate, and here I will sit, look...

And would have been eaten by a Black Scarf dark night near the castle, but he ran a huge wolf - werewolf named Surgeon-gold teeth, grabbed a Black Scarf over the jacket, put on his back and ran into another tale. Dwarves-eating later And Hunter Jim still killed them.

The END


	18. Do everything you can, but otherwise just leave it to fate.

Ben opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. He lay on his back, wrapped in a large thick warm sweater. The sweater was so great that hid even the bare heel. Under the sweater on him was nothing. Ben closed his eyes and stood up for to remember.

He, along with Martin hunted in the gang free hunters. They had to slip away from work, because mark and Yen were slaveholders, and Benedict, due to his charisma, was at the forefront of the list. Mark paid the people who were caught around the city pretty lads, and was brought to him. Benedict offered in plain text, but he chose to escape.

Three months with poor nutrition and in continuous movement turned Benedict into skinny wiry guy, looking twenty-five - twenty-seven. The beard he stopped shaving, paint with hair got out. Skinny wheat-red-haired guy in the cast-offs have not attracted the attention hunters bodies, such as divorced a lot. Economically, it was beneficial. Live in the house, eat, drink, and render services to the employer. Many people liked it, others don't.

The territory of a rival gang leader and once Benedict entered. He was poking around in the nearest trashcan and saw that he was approached by a local. And then it was Ben on the drum. Some of the locals struck him on the head; Ben hit the edge of the tank and landed on the asphalt. He began to beat. Ben disconnected. Local assailed with many kicks, planks, sticks...  
But Ben recovered from silence, which exploded with shouts and thuds. Somewhere far away But fought. Benedict tried to get up but a sharp pain pierced his body, forcing him to stand still. Then Ben felt that someone approached him. That someone felt Benedict, took up in his arms and carried. Where Only? Cumberbatch disconnected. Came to him only when he felt someone strips. "So it is a hunter”,-thought Ben, - "the only strange it is that one works. They are usually three or four. Sam hunter, beater - hunts of the victim, the appraiser assigns a price, pimp - selling victims of slave owners..." Thought so, Benedict disconnected again.

And now Ben woke up again. He searched for himself with his hands. It is. Ribs bandaged hand too, one foot on the bus.  
-What, woke up? - In the field of view of a man appeared.  
-Yes, - murmured Ben, feel that he has to clean the same.  
\- Hungry?  
\- Is it possible?  
-Well, - the man lifted it, and put it under the nose bowl of soup, - to help with the food?  
-No, - the denial sounded quite flat, but the second is not offended.  
Benedict ate soup and examined the environment. It was a small room, the circumference of which was improvised riveted pipe radiant divine warmth. With one hand she went into some semblance of an oven, and a second end, apparently, came out. All the cracks were full of old rugs on the floor - there were also blankets, mats and a couple of rugs. Next to the stove lay in bed, or one...  
-How'd you manage to get to the Eastern Brotherhood? - asked the owner of this room.  
\- I went for fuel,-quickly licking the spoon, Ben said, noting to himself that his beard and the hair is cut.  
-Okay, I walked past, and then they kill you could! - Angrily told his Savior.  
\- And why you got there? - Ben handed him the empty Cup.  
\- And - the Savior waved his hand, - I possibility parts of the boiler, and in these abandoned factories much what you can find.  
-Clearly, - Benedict was sure that fate brought him to a hunter. "He is probably on somebody works. Or he is looking for... Although if he has me tied up washed and trimmed, it may have made me an opinion? On the one hand - this is my last chance. Better so, than to die in a continuous journey. And on the other," - Ben softly sighed, - "if he would cure me, will fatten and sell?"   
-Lie down, - the Savior took Ben to the second bed, which was located between the two rollers are rolled carpets, - sleep.  
-Uh - huh.  
The next morning, Benedict woke up early, but his Savior was gone. He came in about six hours and began to cook.  
\- How are things? - Ben said, breaking the silence.  
\- Normal. The toilet is over there behind that door, - the Savior nodded in the direction of the fading yellow-brown Mat.  
\- Thank you.  
\- If you something wants, immediately say...  
-No, I don't need anything.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes.  
-My name is Mick, - he changed the subject Savior,-and you?  
\- Ben.  
-That's right. Now, Ben. You can stay here as you wish...  
-But I can't pay you? - Upset said Benedict.  
\- Forget about the Board, I am COMPLETELY free of charge does it.  
-You can pick up my scrap, - happily remembered Benedict.  
-I had cleaned...  
-So, -sad mood did not leave Benedict during the remainder of the day.

A month has passed. Benedict had already recovered and it felt well. Mick did encroachments about to give, take or sell Ben someone, but it is not reduced anxiety. And then one day Ben decided. "I can't pay with Mick`s, and I don't have anything. Only I remain myself. So, I'm going to pay them. Nature, so to speak, - with these thoughts Benedict bathed, for it was where, and got dressed. The sweater was off, put on jeans, a shirt, cleaned everything and sat down to wait.  
Mick came late, evil and dirty. Long washed, then got out, wrapped in a warm robe. Under the robe was clothing.  
\- Why the sweater removed? - Asked Mick, looking at Ben, - catch a cold after all...  
-I will, - Benedict stumbled, - a lot of thought and came to the only right decision... in my opinion. Cannot pay If I for accommodation here then... I'll pay them.   
-And you've been thinking?- asked Mick.  
-As soon as you brought me here... and I woke up, - said Ben, licking her lips.  
-And you... ready to sacrifice them?  
-Well...Yes.  
-You idiot, - he grinned, Mick, - I clearly said, I simple do not take.  
-I'm the opposite? - asked Benedict.  
-No, but I, in fact, girls love... and the whole female sex together. And if you just cold, so long ago...  
-Ago what? - asked Ben.  
\- Come with me to bed. Sleep dressed, so we'll go next and all will be warm.

And the same night Benedict crawled up to Mick`s, embraced him, and they fell asleep warm and full of happiness.


	19. The case of the cannibal

John awoke from his touch. He opened his eyes. Small room small light bulb and type next.  
-How nice that you woke up? - Viscous said the stranger, - I never wanted you to beat.  
John lowered his eyes. There's that shirt is missing, one arm chained massive chain to the wall.  
-Yeah, - said the stranger, running his fingers over the shoulders of John. The fingers were long, thin and bony. Of this stranger were the touch disgusting and caused the crowd restless pins and needles.  
\- Well... - fingers felt and squeezed, caressed, but then those fingers stopped on the trapezius muscle. And John yelled in pain, for the stranger took out a knife, cut it, patched the wound harsh thread... and left.

Mary sounded the alarm when John returned from work. First she called the hospital but they told that Dr. Watson had already gone home. Then Mary called Sherlock, but he was out of reach.

But the next day John also has not appeared. One week later, John appeared. But the loss was interested in Sherlock.  
-He went to work?  
-Yes, - replied Mary.  
-And don't come?  
\- No.  
-So, why didn't you call me?  
-Called, check Inbox...  
Sherlock checked. Exactly.  
\- Well, Mary. I'll find it.

Rose to his feet and the police, the homeless and Mycroft. All was looking for John, and Sherlock was worn on all suspicious points. He checked all the morgues, but - thank God - John was not there! Hospitals - there is also a Watson was not. Sherlock stopped visiting the house, snacking he had, but they were purely symbolic. Toast Coffee or biscuits. But the brain worked.  
And then one day one of his agents told me that he was walking with a dog somewhere in East London and saw a strange man. He Followed. And it seems that this suspicious type involved. Sherlock rushed out there. He followed the type and waited until the suspicious type roll away to work, got to his house. Lastread But first called.   
Wandered around the house, he found nothing. Cellar Locked in the besides the door. Sherlock, without hesitation, broke open the door and climbed into the basement.

-Who's there?  
Weak voice.  
\- John?!  
\- Sherlock? If this is you, then leave. He'll be back... and will kill you.  
\- Don't kill,-Sherlock turned on the light, went and saw John. And stopped in horror For John had a terrible wound. Chest arms shoulders back and all sewn usual harsh thread.  
-My God, John!-Sherlock began to release the other, -just hold on...

John was taken to the hospital, and Greg waited for Gad and arrested.


	20. Tired Of Batman

The slogan "What is better - pink police car or the Batmobile with flasher?"

Bruce Wayne/Batman - Nikita Mikhalkov  
Alfred - Mikhail Boyarsky  
Robin - Nadejda Mikhalkov   
Gordon - Fyodor Bondarchuk  
Joker - Gosha Kutsenko.

Producer Timur Bekmambetov  
Fyodor Bondarchuk  
Nikita Mikhalkov

Director Nikita Mikhalkov 

Tired of the world famous mister Wayne is returned in a rut the life of a millionaire. Techniques, Gypsies... In the Wayne mansion appears a young girl. Her name is Robbie. She is the daughter of Catwoman. Bruce Wayne doceret her.  
But the old enemy does not sleep. The Joker causes a new sinister strike.  
Will Batman to protect native city?


	21. Problems

Mr. D was lying in my big bed with another lover. Not necessary this of bodies where it is necessary and plump girl with lots. But Mr. D liked ladies in the body, night silence was broken light noise is heard from below.  
\- God, what is it? - cried the girl.  
\- And this is my new prisoner, - Mr. D got off the bed, pulled a quilted robe, picked up the stack and, turning to the mistress, said, - he's already night beats, wait, I'll go, will soothe him.

Descending into the lowest dungeon, Mr. D. came to a tall guy dressed in heavy chains. One chain was holding the boy by his feet, second - hand and the third was closed at the neck. The chains were long; they allowed him to move around the camera. And the guy jerked and fought in these circuits, wiping the blood wrists, ankles and neck.  
-Can you shut up!?- Yelled Mr. D on his captive, - shut up!!!  
-Let me out of here, - said the guy, so forward.  
-Here's another, - and Mr. D. smashed the guy kicked in the ribs.  
He snorted and collapsed on the floor. Mr. D again kicked the prisoner in the ribs and left.

-Where are we going to do? - asked in a hoarse voice, head over to Benedict.  
The poor man was on the verge of complete loss of consciousness.  
-Boss, what say? - Said second, squeaky  
\- Said....and out and the owner is.  
\- So, - Mr. D felt Ben's hands, chest, looked at his teeth, - to the kitchen to send will not, skinny hurt, shed no. There he will die. Remain pens. Drag him there. Yet let it , then adjust...

Benedict was in pens. These pens were that Ben didn't know. Benedict now had a room, or chamber, covered with straw. It was possible to lie, I was fed well. The paddock was divided into two parts. In the right - was a healthy redneck that was yelling, swearing, and telling obscene jokes? In the second, the second half was empty, except for Benedict, there was nobody there. In a couple of weeks, when Ben is already relatively well in the neighboring camera brought one. Rather, it dragged and dropped into the camera. Ben spent the night listening to the movement in the neighboring cell, but heard nothing.  
And in the morning all drove to the area, Ben was on the side of the crowd surrounding the post. Post hung skinny guy on the same Mr. D.  
-Watch dirty trash that can happen to those who go against me! - And began to beat the guy hanging on the pole. Beat all - wire stack, whip, whip and finally bamboo sticks. Punishable either lost consciousness or was so stubborn that during this horror did not utter a sound. Mr. D was riding his hand and stopped the execution.  
\- Unbind it and throw it somewhere in the sun, - Mr. D left.  
Redneck untied the man and threw it in the warm place. All were creeping in the corners, and Benedict small steps crept to the lying guy. His back was a bloody mess. Ben pulled off his shirt and covered the wound with it.  
-Who are you? - muttered the boy softly.  
-You do not fear, - whisper said Benedict, - I will carry you to him.  
\- Do not....

Ben hid this guy in the camera. He selflessly nursed him until he departed from his wounds. Mr. D found out about it and told them not to touch. When the guy came around and quite a few began to move them once roughly pulled on the square.  
\- Friends? - Father asked Mr. D, - only you will soon the end will come. In the battles you participate you can't, so I guess I'll storable you. We who is the most evil in pens?  
\- Molasses dogs...

The dogs pulled in two days, and the guys released the day before. The boys ran through the forest. Fled in different ways, but the dogs overtook them. Buddy Ben took off on a big tree that stood on the edge. Ben stumbled and said goodbye to the white light, hearing a fierce breath of the dogs behind. But he felt that flies. Opened his eyes almost on the top of the tree, at the bottom growled and squabbled dogs.  
-To escape us in the woods not to go, - said buddy Ben.  
-Why? -Said Benedict, - what is your name anyway?  
\- Mick. But I got there too random, so the Ranger worked on local means of transportation. Oh and argued with the local. And along the perimeter of the forest stand beaters, they live they will.  
\- And what are we going to do? - Anxiously said Ben, -we'll sit on the tree until you die of starvation?  
-’ll fly away - casually replied Mick, - if you will be able to hold me on the line, then everything will be fine.  
\- Stop! - Not knowing what it was about, Ben said.

Hold did not. They collapsed on the dogs, but the dogs could not cause them harm, because Mick`s on his back grew wings. Mick picked up a friend and flew high up into the white sky, the clouds. Ben fell asleep. A bed of leaves woke up on. Mick was sitting next to her.  
\- Live here-Mick stood up and gestured to the room,-and I went someone else to save,-and he left.

Benedict his new friend was no longer seen.


	22. Little stupid, so still very indecent thoughts

Batman jumping on the roofs  
about wall horseradish braking  
the Director looks at the script  
it is impossible.

****

Batman. The shooting of the next franchise

The scene - the cave in.

Beth arrives with another patrol, jumps out of the car and shouting-"Al!" rushes towards the Butler, the way of getting rid of your ammunition. That, in turn, runs to Wayne scream -"Bruce!" 

Director: - Edit you left! On a first date you schoolgirl? Here we see adult movies shooting!? What scripts are written? You fucking read? It is written - Batman grabs Alfred, Stripping him of his clothes and has the right to Bat mobile! All first! LIGHT! CAMERA! The MOTOR!

 

The scene- of the abduction inspector Gordon.

Cat woman Gordon fucking. Gordon- Joker, Joker - Harley Quinn. In General - sweet home Orgy.  
Director: - Groans! Where Hell the moans not?" Shout louder! Will not scream, I will stand up and then all of you Khan! Will sing as good as gold!

Batman arrives to save Gordon and remains at this lovely party. In the end, no one on the set cannot understand who is who and why. All the action quickly breaks into the house of Bruce Wayne, where to relaxing joins Alfred, Robin, Director and all the rest.

The film ends with a scene of universal love and fraternization.

****

Eugene was greatly in sorrow  
the sugreva whole damn drunk to the dregs  
cops feel sorry for the poor guy  
full


	23. Little silly, but also very impolite.

John Watson returns to London. One day meets his old friend Mike. He, seeing John, recalls old feelings and takes John to the nearest hotel.  
There, in between times, John complains to Mike`s.  
\- There is no money, there was no flat... and even if I found the apartment, the neighbor's unlikely I'll find!  
-You're the second, which says about it. I know a guy that you will endure. My former. Then I'm with him will bring.  
\- I would be grateful.

Mike introduces John with Sherlock Holmes and together they go to see the apartment.

While the first case, John and Sherlock looking at each other. Celebrating the successful completion of the case, Sherlock and John celebrate together in a warm bed.

After some time for a nice evening gatherings Sherlock and his friend, joined Marta Hudson. Greg Lastread Lover to join the guys she her willing.

After some time, John came home from work, found in the apartment of Fat boy in a suit and right fuck on the floor. Sherlock Came joined then Marta and Greg. However, it turned out that the guy in the suit was the brother of Sherlock - Mycroft Holmes. But these actions like Mycroft, and he joined this little club.

After some time John Watson begins to meet with a charming girl named Mary. But the absence of old friends knocks him out of the rut, and he tells Mary all. Pretty girl finds interest in this, and John happily introduces Mary to the club. 

In London found this private club of a certain Irene Adler, but leaked to the enemy's lair, managed to convince Irene to join both clubs.

And London found a Moriarty. He threatens to expose them all, but suffers a complete fiasco. So Moriarty calls Holmes in Meiringen. But Sherlock comes with all. And they all have Moriarty right about Reyhenbahskogo waterfall. On the stones directly. Moriarty, unable to bear the shame, is heated in the waterfall.  
And the rest safely depart for London.


	24. Vampires on Baker street

Watson came home from work, walked into the room and saw something strange. 

The living room was more crowded than usual. In the chair by the fireplace, in which he usually sat was a tall young brunette. His hands, like his feet were firmly tied jute rope to the chair. Head of dark hair was thrown back in his chair, and the shirt unbuttoned the first two buttons, exposing the collar bone and part of the chest. In front of the brunette sat Holmes. He also was tied to a chair. Unbuttoned shirt also thrown back head and on the staircase leading to the bedroom lays a middle-aged man. Watson, encountering this type somewhere in a dark alley, passed it to the police. Dressed man was a bit sloppy, though some parts of the toilet were pointed out that the money from this gentleman still there. The brunette was dressed simply. Black pants and dark blue shirt, which really went to him. Holmes as usual Shirt pants, vest and coat. It is possible that something woke him up, although Watson knew that when he left, Holmes was busy with their flasks, therefore, did not sleep.  
Closer to the window laid another man, more like a student. He was not bound, but the similarity with the audience he had. Unbuttoned back head Shirt thrown and difference and another. Above it hung a disgusting creature. Watson from his seat not seen that happen, because the body was covered dining table.

The creature, hoarsely growled, one jump broke the bathroom and turned on the prostrate man lying on the stairs... Turning his head to Watson, it was noisy breathing, showering the last disgusting smell from the mouth. Watson dug her fingers into the jamb. His heart was beating somewhere in the throat, occasionally plunging into the heel. The creature...and she was like a little old lady at a very ragged shawl, but had predatory head like a weasel or ermine. She, strangely arched neck, leaned over the man, and thin black tongue that came out of the mouth began to obligate collarbone and neck lying. This was done slowly and deliberately. 

Watson barely looked away from what is happening, and that was because the table was heard noises. Watson pulled the neck. On the table jumped creature, resembling a very large Sparrow... But sparrows in nature happens these for a reason... the height of a man. Sparrow of this type turned out to be unkempt, disheveled, and he hasn't finished her transformation. Glasses sat crooked on his neck there were still ugly scar from the bite... Stupid jumping on the table, Sparrow finally turned into a Sparrow-monster. From the human he had only... glasses on his nose, sorry, on the beak.

The creature Neck had bitten sharply the man's. Blood flew up to the ceiling, but not a single drop got on the ceiling, the creature was covered with scarlet fountain of his mouth and had to swallow in one spirit. Carnivorous licked his lips; the creature jumped and stood on the mantelpiece. She whirled her head tentatively - who will be first? About it for long But thought. Jumped over to the chair Holmes, the creature started obligate language a new victim. And she did it so slowly that Watson, now suggest him now, right this second to do with his friend Holmes the same thing that were doing now creature, he would have done. Do not hesitate and do not hesitate. Perhaps he would then be ashamed, but the passion that radiated this creature was too strong... Watson abandoned the jamb and has already made a step forward when he threw a gust of wind... Watson looked back. The man with the ladder began the transformation. His bird was the eagle owl. And not just the owl and the owl, sitting two years on the opium. This type was sitting on the top of the stairs, turned his head and muttered something under his breath. 

While Watson looked at owl, a drug addict, a creature bitten jugular vein Holmes, drank his blood and was now tall brunette's neck. Watson thought it best to stay near the jamb. Left there, he saw his friend turns into a long white crane. Unlike the Sparrow and the eagle-owl, whose eyes had a thirst for blood, for his friend, even in the form of a crane, his eyes burned with thirst investigation than he did. He began to walk with his long legs around the room, peering in rags on the floor. Watson looked at Holmes and have lost sight of that thing long ago drank the blood of man and was now sitting on the window-sighted squinting. The brunette was... in eagle or Falcon. The sight of his gray eyes was frighteningly calm... a quick look around the room, he flew to the crane closer.

The creature leaped at Watson. He began to yell and fell in saving oblivion.  
\- Watson! Watson! Buddy?  
Watson had difficulty arose out of the scraps of his nightmare. He opened his eyes, saw a scared Holmes, felt the taste of brandy on his lips and realized that his unbuttoned collar.  
-My God, Holmes! - Weakly said Watson, - and where all these monsters?  
-Is anybody here except you were not, - smiled Holmes, - is true, when you came I was the client. The little old lady in a black woolen shawl, but when you suddenly lost consciousness, she quickly left.  
\- How long I've been unconscious? - asked Watson, wanting to make sure that this nightmare is nothing more than a figment of his brain.  
-Oh! Very long, five minutes, no more...  
-Thank You, Holmes! - Watson got up from the chair. - To me it seemed completely unbelievable stuff, which I think is not necessary to retell....   
\- Go rest, Watson. You feel absolutely no pity in his clinic...


	25. Nonsense on vegetable oil

\- Holmes, and you love me? - Once asked Watson  
-What do you mean? - did not understand the great detective.  
-You mean, like a man woman...  
\- But you're not a woman! - Flashed deduction Holmes, - I you, Watson, love, but as a friend.

 

\- Holmes - Watson smoked opium and stared at Holmes sparkling eyes, - and you could love me?  
-And do I need it? - Grimly replied Holmes, - and why you smoke my opium?  
-And if you imagine? - insisted Watson.  
\- Watson, you have glitches. I'm here in all their garments, and you must be serious.

 

\- Watson, and you could dwell with me?  
\- I'm with you live, you idiot!  
\- No, as a woman?  
\- And what does not suit you, Holmes?  
-I simply asked - patter muttered Holmes, paled, seeing as Watson takes a scalpel.  
-No, no. Do not be afraid, Holmes! The operation will take place quickly. After a couple of minutes you will start beeping...

 

\- Sherlock...  
\- Yes?  
\- Listen, and not to kiss us?  
-Why? - Sherlock surprised raised an eyebrow, looking up from the microscope.  
-Well, what if you wish me to study?  
-You already asked, - Sherlock stared at John, - at the beginning of our meeting with you. And I answered. And what dots thou want more?  
\- Anything.

 

AFTER SOME TIME

\- Holmes, and people on us here...  
\- No Wonder, Watson. As soon as you put this stupid hood, so people you have to look askance. For God's sake, Watson, remove it and no longer wear.

 

\- Watson, damns it, stop trying to pose as Irene Adler. You're not her!  
-Well, Holmes, -Watson began to pull lace glove, - tell me that you love me.  
\- You are crazy?  
-No, - Watson began to restorative corset.

 

-No, Watson, I've changed my mind.  
-But you wanted to be a woman?!  
\- You, Watson, Martha Hudson is, and I think I will go... to Lastread will help 

 

\- Sher... Sherlock!  
-Mm…  
\- Stop.  
-You've wanted? - Gray eyes A little confused, - that again isn't it?  
-Well, not on the people? - John is outraged pushed Sherlock from her and wiped his mouth with his hand.  
-It's okay. What's so criminal? Think; eat one ice cream for two.  
\- Yes, not in the ice cream business and that you're together with him, my lips take.  
-Oh! - Eyebrows in surprise climbed up.

 

AFTER SOME TIME

 

\- Holmes, you know, I'm tired of this, - Watson came down to Breakfast in his usual form.  
-Well, Watson. You I like your, so to speak, natural form.  
-Thank You, Holmes. You are a true friend! And you were so patient with me while I was struggling shit!  
\- Okay, Watson, - smiled indulgently Holmes.

-What is this you are wearing, Holmes? - stunned stared at his friend Watson.  
\- Like what? Female costume and what?  
\- Like what? Where are you going looking like that?  
\- How much? In search of adventure,-Holmes was slightly powder my nose, - dress, Watson, let's go guys, kadrich. I bet I have gentlemen in this wondrous night will be more than you?

-Well, Holmes, have you decided on?  
-Yes, Watson,-Holmes hesitated and decisively issued, - I leave. And you stay here.  
\- Okay, What immediately into the bottle to get me a Joan of Arc was?  
\- I guess I'll go. Good luck.

\- How is it?  
\- What?  
-Well, that...that..., - Sherlock embarrassed bowed his head, not daring to raise his eyes.  
-It was good, I liked it. Don't tell that learned it on YouTube.  
\- No. I read the book.  
-Oh, - John blissfully stretched, - but still possible?  
-Of course, but it does not bother you?  
\- You could, of course, without kissing to do, but the massage you're cool you're doing.


	26. It was a clear day...

\- Holmes! - Appeared in the doorway, stripped to his underwear, Watson,-you do not believe me?  
-But why? - The great detective, hastily jumped up from his chair, carefully supporting friend by the elbow, summed up and sat in the chair. Poured brandy - say, Watson!  
\- I go through Hyde Park,-little nose said Watson,-calmly go. Foot fellow in the coat suddenly me and the bushes to pounce six-  
\- How did he look? - Holmes listened with half-closed eyes.  
-As a two-meter man. Holmes, do you think I saw? I didn't see anything. I was stunned with a club, and when I woke up - no money, no clothes. My head hurts.  
-All Right, Watson. Memory is such a thing that you now cannot remember the details, and then - and remember something. Go to sleep, I think.  
\- Yes, you are right, Holmes, I need to lie down, - Watson went on home.

\- Watson, and you know that underwear is a true English gentleman, on the street, you cannot walk?   
-I know, - snapped the angry Watson,-but the type that I stick patted on the head, apparently not aware of...  
\- You robbed?-Holmes stared at his friend,-to describe?  
\- And I can't see?  
-Excuse me, Watson,-Holmes scratched the back of his head,-is not noticed.

\- Watson, where are your clothes? Checkered coat, scarf..., - Watson put on his glasses and looked at the doctor.  
\- Divide me, - Watson angrily went to his room.  
\- Who?  
-You excited?- Watson looked out from behind the door.  
\- Well, actually I'm a detective... or is it?  
\- Holmes, were would you Irene Adler to look good?  
\- Okay, I understand...

-My God, John! What happened?  
\- Sherlock, don't voice much,-John baited looked back.  
-I just asked,-in the voice of Sherlock heard the insult, - you're not every day in shorts walking around the city. And there, by the way - autumn, cool already...  
-And you decided to take care of my health?  
\- And what? I ...can't be bothered about you?  
-You can, - replied John, - but the ice for you habitually.  
\- Well and stay..., - Sherlock snorted and flew away to himself.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
\- Watson,-Holmes sat in a chair by the fireplace and smoked a pipe. Watson sat in the other chair and looked at each other; - I think I know who it was.  
-The fellow that I was robbed?  
\- Yes. I have already taken some measures to capture him. Hours to find couple it of within.  
-Holmes, you are a genius and my Savior! - Fervently exclaimed Watson.  
-Well, what are you, Watson, just a little autumn puzzle, -pale face Holmes turned pink. He was pleasant these simple feelings Watson.

\- Is this yours? - Holmes threw him down on the Desk Watson pile of clothes.  
-Is it my, - Watson deftly pulled out all of his belongings, then looked at Holmes, - where did you get it? And what's with your face?  
Under the left eye of Holmes huge swollen bruise, lips split, ear swollen.  
\- Got into a fight with your thief, Watson. He was going to the flea market to sell. Yelled: «I’m with the "Tide" came to you, open the door! I am ready to help you, because I'm not a beast!"  
\- The police passed?  
\- Plenty of time, he himself should come,-Holmes waved his hand.

\- Watson, your things brought,- Holmes knocked at the doctor.  
\- Who?  
-He did not introduce himself. Said that was very sorry about it.  
-You caught him, Holmes?  
\- Is it necessary? Already running behind him, Watson, - ear Holmes caught the clink of a scalpel.

\- John, do you feel normal? I'm the tea has brewed.  
-No, - said John from the bed.  
\- I include, - Sherlock entered the room, placed the Cup of tea on the bedside table and looked at each other.  
-You blanket to bring?  
\- Buzz off from me, - muttered John. He was not in the mood. Become the hero of the Internet for one day? It did not suit him. John looked up at Sherlock. Fresh scratch on his right cheek, a cut left eyebrow and half-blood knuckles on both hands.  
\- What happened?  
\- I pushed your clothes at the robber, - replied Sherlock, sitting down on the bed and handing John a mug of tea, - I didn't had to do that?  
-You did everything correctly, -said John, - thank you for the tea and I'm sorry I shouted at you.  
-You know, John, -Sherlock smiled his magical smile, - for you I anywhere.


	27. In the black night a bunch of monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this horror will not be under any real events.

Benedict today ended early. The Director did not like the scene. They were perennially it up until all those present began to annoy. Therefore, the Director has all dissolved and ordered not to appear on the set until the next day. Ben went home.   
Crowds of fans Screams, squeaks, autographs. Ben climbed on his motorcycle and sped away. But on one of the intersections have noticed that it has a little Mercedes dirty grey color with numbers, caked with mud. But in London it didn't rain today. Ben turned onto another street and circles got to his house, but Mercedes was there. He just drove past and turned down a side street. Ben saw a small letter, stuck in the mailbox. Ben pulled it opened. There was a piece of paper on which was inscribed the following: -"Beware! You're on the hook!" Benedict threw strange message in the trash.

After a couple of days, when Cumberbatch celebrated with friends someone's birthday, he was attacked. It happened as follows. Ben, after depositing his friends, left the restaurant and headed to my car. When she was only three steps, literally out of the darkness materialized black figure. Ben recoiled, but then tried to disarm the figure, grasping her hands in his. But beside his nose flashed cold steel wide and long knife. Ben stronger jumped back, stumbled and realized that drops. But before the asphalt he flew. Someone picked up on the hands. And that someone shot at the attacker. The figure chuckled and disappeared in the darkness.  
-You are not hurt? - asked a familiar voice.  
-Is that you!?- Benedict, smiling broadly, turned to an unexpected Savior,-how you got here?  
\- It's a long story, - replied the man, - get in the car and go home.  
-And you?  
-I followed you go.  
-You're doing it stop? - Ben said, his Savior.  
\- No. the plane in Scotland Yard then to you.   
-What do you parabolas in the police service? - Ben sat in the jeep Savior and curiously asked.  
-Ah! Well why, -the guy laughed, -well, then, there are people that you have ordered. But they don't want to kill you or steal in the sense that is commonly practiced. They need something else, but what? We do not know.  
-You... want to protect me? - Ben raised his eyebrows,-and the police could not allocate officers?  
\- But why? - The guy gave Benedict a public identity.  
-He began to read:-"the Detective of the Los Angeles Police Department - Mick Melloun".  
\- You may not be happy that I'm not local? - asked Mick raising his right eyebrow.  
-No, - Ben said, returning the ID, - you are already so many times I save what I have already... miss you when you won't appear.  
-Good, you spend the night at home, and I remain here.  
Why? Is much quieter because the house?  
\- Yes. Relaxed and comfortable, but if you climb too smart citizens, I will not be able to quickly protect you, and if I stay here, they will not be able to get into the house. Come on, go home, Ben. 

Middle of the night Benedict woke up from the shot. One shot... and silence. Ben looked out the window, saw nothing and decided to go down to look. Got dressed, took a bat and went. At the gate he found Mick`s. He lay prone beneath him spread the puddle of blood. Benedict pulled him into the house and called the doctor. He came quickly. The wound in his right side turned out to be harmless, though it looked pretty impressive.  
-I gave him an anesthetic,-the doctor turned to Benedict,-but in your place, Mr. Cumberbatch, I would have taken the victim to the hospital.  
-No, - firmly said Benedict, - he will remain here, and if it becomes worse, then I will take.

The doctor left, and Ben was left with his Savior. Considering Mick`s, he suddenly saw that frantically clamped the left fist seen a piece of paper. Benedict decided to get it. It can be paper, for which Mick nearly paid with his life? But as soon as Benedict began removing paper, woke up Mick.  
-Mm... The Devil, - were his first words.  
-Does it hurt? - asked Benedict.  
-Yes, - said Mick, - I'm sorry, I had driven them back, but he paid for it.  
-They you stabbed?  
\- Yes, but left a message and some words. And one I just shot.  
-What have you got in your hand?  
\- Now, - he unclenched his fist and spread out on a blanket piece of paper. Part of this piece was caked with blood and from the blood ran letters: - "...drink and bring... in parts... day... after ... slave..."  
\- What is it?  
\- I think this applies to you, - said Mick, gloomily looking at the paper, - okay, tomorrow we will go to the main office of Scotland Yard, and then try to understand what to do.  
The next morning Mick and Ben went first to the Director, and then in Scotland Yard. The Director was only for. Why British walking the property. We must love and protect. And Scotland Yard Mick was waiting for something terrible. Head of the Department pushed Mick`s plump folder, looking at you, Mick has changed in the face and said:  
\- Benedict, you would set would be in the next room?  
\- Well, - Cumberbatch did not argue with each other and left.  
Mick began to leaf through the folder.  
-We caught one and found one dead, - said the head of the Department, - are you sure you don't need reinforcements?  
\- I'm afraid that with the urgency with which they try to dismember Ben, your officers will not be able to prevent it. I better. I may be in the eyes of these hunters do not pose much of a threat, but it's only because they don't know whom he was dealing with,- Mick fiercely perused the written text,-but be ready, they can attack suddenly... and us with Ben, you might want the help...  
\- Of course.  
-I can pick up these papers? - Asked Mick, looking at the Lieutenant, - there's something I need to clarify and to work with them...  
\- No problems.

Ben was driving; Mick sat and looked at the netbook, fiercely gritted his teeth, looked in the folder and maliciously published. The car stopped at the intersection. Mick raised his head and looked around.  
\- At the next turning to the right.  
-We have left! - said Ben.  
\- Will you go to the right and without objection, - Mick again buried in his strange actions.  
Benedict turned to where he was told Mick, but then turned to where it was. A couple of intersections Mick slammed the file shut and netbook threw it all in the back seat and stared out the window. He was angry.   
Just a couple of blocks to the house Benedict, Mick suddenly said:  
\- Stop the car, give me the wheel, and myself in the back seat. Go and lie down... on the floor.  
-What happened? - Anxiously looking around, asked Benedict.  
\- Nothing like that. I just want to insure. Gate in your automatic garage or you leave the car on the street?  
\- On the street...  
-Okay, - Mick unzipped his jacket, Ben last night noticed that Mick`s presence of two revolvers in the underarm holsters.  
\- Let's go back.

The trip home turned into a nightmare. Shooting was heard everywhere and anywhere. As Mick managed to shoot and drive, Ben`s could not even imagine. Mick parked, pulled the bin folder of the machine, and, covering him, not forgetting to shoot, dragged him into the house. As soon as the door behind them slammed the door, Mick shook both revolvers, freeing them from the empty shells and leaning against the wall, said hoarsely:  
-You are not wounded?  
-No and you?  
\- And I hurt - Mick sighed, smiled Benedict and slid down the wall.  
\- Mick? Mick! - Ben rushed to the other. The jacket Opened. Under the jacket was a dark green plaid sport shirt, and washed two dark spots. And the second on the left forearm one in the hand below the right clavicle. Ben dragged Mick`s to the living room and called the doctor. He came, invited Mick to take to the hospital. Benedict told what had happened and became a physician assistant.  
-I will talk about your situation with the police, - said the doctor, moving,-and your buddy, but tenacious.  
Mick woke up in the evening. He opened his eyes, gritted his teeth, and they attracted the attention of Ben, who was dozing in the chair.  
\- How are you?  
\- The folder where?  
-You almost died! - Indignantly said Ben, - and ask about some folder?  
-Bring me, please, Benedict, - said Mick.  
-Okay.  
Ben brought the folder and laid it on the blanket. Mick, gritting his teeth, took a sitting position and opened the folder.  
-Look, Ben, - Mick called out to his friend, - you NEED to see it.  
Benedict sat on the edge of the sofa, Mick handed him a sheet.  
-Do you see these numbers? You ordered those who. We don't know who they are, but we now know what you possibility.  
-And?  
\- There are those who ask you for an autograph, there are those who make you selfe, and there are those who want to tear your piece. But they are quiet and angry. Quiet will find a button, shawl, worn out those IT sneakers is yours and will be the rest of his life is to rejoice. And evil - we want your ears, fingers... the First room wants But these... your head, the second breast, the third of the thigh, the fourth-foot, fifth - hand, and the sixth heart.  
\- And why should they?  
-You heard about that direction - GURO?  
-What's that?  
-But such sadism, sexual division of partners and subsequent use of body parts for hardcore...   
-And... Do you think,-Ben stared at Mick's eyes, - these to you, unknown people, ordered me to do this?  
-I don't know, - Mick soothingly patted Cumberbatch on the shoulder, - I... I want you were unharmed.  
-Well, head, hips, and hands - I can understand, - said Ben, -and legs, chest and heart?  
-Don't think about it, - Mick took another paper and stuck them back in the folder, - while I'm here, no one will touch you. Even if I die, you will remain as is. I will not allow them to you to touch.  
-Thank you, but you can't die! -Firmly said Ben, - who then is my bail out?

The trouble crept up unnoticed. Night. In the night a huge crowd of people rushed into the house. But Mick seems to have anticipated this... He told Ben to collect all the weapons, and they both slept in the rooms and in the kitchen. Barricaded them and repulsed these types. The Mick for each other and Benedict are due to the fact that he was smiling at the prospect of serving sex-toy how-TA types. By morning all ran away and the guys came out from behind cover. Mick reprised the weapon and they stealthily went to the exit and, here they were attacked.   
Mick put Benedict in the Cabinet, and he got into a fight. Ben, sitting in the closet, clutched the gun and thought:  
-Mick, out there, beats for , and I'm sitting here, shaking and doing nothing. I'm not that guy? I am a man!- with these thoughts Ben opened the Cabinet and saw. Mick lay on the floor, and four which are alive and tried to dismember. At least Benedict saw the knife at the neck and the knife fall on the breast of the other. Ben violently shot and swatted two, and then two more. He ran over to his friend, threw the bloodstained corpses of enemies with his body and began to explore, frantically fumbling. But just under the ear has heard the shot, Ben looked around at the rear of the headless type is slid along the wall.  
-Thank you, - Mick unseeing eyes stared at the man, -you call the police and help me to stand up.  
-You are not wounded?  
\- No. Thanks again, if it weren't for you, are me without heads and hearts.  
-You're my friend, - smiled Ben and hugged Mick`s, - I'm glad I made it on time.

Six maniacs caught. Later. They were from different countries and different Nations. And they really wanted to use Ben not for its intended purpose. Mick recovered and disappeared, and Benedict began to withdraw further.


	28. Sandwiches with peanut butter

Bread

 

\- Watson, what are you doing? - asked in surprise Holmes, going down to Breakfast.  
\- Knit, Holmes, what?  
\- I am not surprised that you know how to knit, my dear friend, - said Holmes, sitting down at the table and spreading one napkin on her lap, and the second sliding the collar, - I see you already had Breakfast... I am surprised the cause of your unusual behavior.  
-Ah, Holmes, that you did not say it would be absolutely wrong.  
\- You decided to win the competition among Housewives?  
\- No.  
\- Decided to get warmer because of the cold autumn? - Holmes took a SIP of coffee and began to destroy the cold scrambled eggs.  
\- No.  
-I don't understand, Watson, - Holmes ate their Breakfast, wiped his lips and looked at Watson.  
-Your vaunted intuition had failed, Holmes cheerfully, - said Watson, working spokes.

-Watson? What are you doing? - Holmes has gone from the wall, where already half an hour was depicted as a marble statue.  
\- Holmes, it is, sorry, not your business...  
\- It wouldn't be my thing, if it had not happened in my apartment colitis Watson So.  
\- Nothing knows, - Watson turned something strange in the bag and hurried to the door.

\- Watson?!  
-Yes, Holmes, what happened?  
\- Go here.  
Holmes slid sideways into the room Watson.  
-What happened, Holmes? - repeated Holmes.  
\- Close your eyes and stand up straight.  
\- If you've chick-chick?  
\- Well, why not immediately? Will I have time you chick-chick, but not now.  
Holmes stood; eyes closed, and felt that Watson measures. "Well, all”,-thought Holmes, - “measuring me for a coffin".

\- Sherlock? - John returned from work and saw that Sherlock something hastily hides, - what is it?  
-Nothing, - Sherlock looked at each other, - you thought.  
-Exactly, nothing? -John went to the kitchen, was removed from the refrigerator the bag with his fingers, found nothing edible.  
-It's nice, there is nothing. I went down.  
-Where to? - Sherlock raised an eyebrow, - you just come from?  
-Yes, - John scowled at his friend, - you may not eat whole day, and I'm hungry.   
-There's cold, - Sherlock stared at John and looked at the window,-and the snow began to fall...  
\- Good luck,-John slipped on his jacket, took the money and left.

 

Oil

Watson carefully hid the fact that she knitted, from Holmes. But Holmes was also very secretive and suspicious. Suspiciously Very. Ate separately, the cases studied away from each other.

Holmes thought for a long time, and then decided that we should also anything suspicious to do. And decided he should go and buy Watson new hat.

Holmes thought, pushed her glasses up on his nose, then all took off and scratched his nose,- "If Watson the coffin for me, maybe if I buy him medical instruments, he angry with me?"

Sherlock was still hiding from John kind of thing. When John started to ask questions carefully liar. Walked away from a direct answer referred to urgent matters grabbed John and pulled him anywhere.

 

And sausage on a sandwich

 

\- Holmes! This is for you! - Watson handed Holmes a bundle.  
He was deployed. And there was a blue-and-red checkered crooked associated scarf.  
\- Watson! I'm flattered! - Holmes brushed the tears from eyes.

\- Watson! Here's from me to you that! - Sherlock Holmes gave Watson the hat.  
\- And you! - Watson threw Holmes in the hands of the voluminous folds.  
Holmes launched. There were black and brown jacket, made from a variety of patches.  
-Oh my God, Watson, - Holmes sobbed.

-Is it you, John,-Holmes handed Watson brand-new travelling bag. He opened. There were the most modern and new surgical instruments.  
\- Now you will have had a good chick-chick, - he said Holmes.  
\- Well, what you have imagined, that I made you, - and Watson, embarrassed, gave Holmes a large black cloak.

\- John? - Sherlock awkwardly stood in the living room and looked at John.  
-Yes, - John got out of his chair, where he was freezing last hour,-is that you?  
\- I..., - Sherlock quietly approached the other,-saw that you recently feeling well, so I...,-Sherlock finally embarrassed, pulled out from behind a bundle, opened it, threw John and escaped.  
John carefully saw the gift of the other. It was blue sweater with a crooked white inscription "JOHN".  
\- Sherlock? Are you tied up?   
-Yes, - said Sherlock, and added anxiously, - you didn't like?  
-He's a great, Sherlock.


	29. Picnic basket

Napkins  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
\- Holmes, why you sit in your underwear?  
\- Lately to me no one comes, Watson. Even you rarely appear.  
\- But you shaved and put on a tie?  
\- What if somebody will go? Here you, for example.

 

-Watson, I lost my suit!  
-You're dressed, Holmes?  
\- This is not the suit, Watson. I lost the iron man suit!  
\- Where you last ?  
\- In the bedroom Irene? Lastread? Moriarty? Martha? I definitely don't remember!

 

-In your life began, Holmes!  
\- Oh, Watson! It can't be!?  
-Maybe Holmes,  
\- But I'm a man!  
\- Solitaire spit, Holmes. Better tell me where you've eaten undercooked pork?  
\- Watson, I don't eat pork!  
\- Why, Holmes?  
\- Because I'm a Jew! - said Holmes, and wept bitterly.

 

-Two years! Two years! You couldn't get me a warning?!  
-Go, John, - Sherlock pressed back against the wall. It just came to Baker Street after two years of traveling and wanted to say John - "Sorry". But John met him not so, as Sherlock had expected.  
John picked up the phone and dialed Lastread:  
\- Hello, Greg. Come to Baker Street the ambulance.   
\- No. This is for Sherlock. He went back.  
\- Broken both arms, legs, four ribs, broken teeth, guaranteed pierced lung.

***

-John, -asked Greg, - what happened to Sherlock?  
-He fell from the window.  
\- Times Many?  
\- I have lost count.

Ketchup  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
\- Sherlock, and you would like me to give? - murmured Moriarty, stroking Sherlock`s in the face.  
\- No.  
\- And John?  
\- No.  
\- And Mrs. Hudson?  
-She's old for me, - said Sherlock, looking carefully at the criminal genius.  
\- And Lastread? You would have given to Lastread?  
\- No. Listen, you're invited me not to do this.  
\- Of course not. How do you want to die? In the heart Or Bullet the head ?  
\- Better in the heart,-after a moment's reflection said Sherlock. His calm gray eyes, staring at Moriarty,-is more aesthetically pleasing, firstly, and secondly, if you shoot me in the head, then Anderson will start picking my brain on the wall and cut my posthumous Q, and I wouldn't want that.  
\- If you're already dead, what are you up to it?

Salt  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock, Marta and Irene  
The whole day was lying...  
Another triple Not  
Sex was involved.

Wine  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock had never been in such a humiliating position as at the moment. His face buried in the sheets, he could only beg John to stop this torture, but John remained deaf. Clinging fingers over the bed, Sherlock felt embarrassed. He was ready to burn with shame. From the first meeting Sherlock came up with a million scenarios of their future life, but he did not expect from John stratagem and shamelessness.   
\- JO-O-OHN! -Sherlock moaned, - stop it! You make me hurt!  
But John did not answer.  
\- JO-O-OHN!- Sherlock almost cried from what is inside of it penetrated something hot and alien,- please!  
-Shut up, - the voice John heard back.  
-Oh, John! Why are you with me?  
\- You are to blame! - The voice of John was impassive, - you have been told many times but you never listen to me.  
\- But why I have been SO punished, John!?- Muttered Sherlock buried flaming face in the cool sheets.  
\- Because, the only way you're going to listen to me!  
\- In the pose of cancer? It is humiliating for me, John!  
\- I do not know. Relax and get pleasure from life.  
\- Wow fun, - cried Sherlock, wimps in bed,-I hurt and unpleasant.  
-Well, that's all, - John finished his insidious work, and looked at the underlying Sherlock, or rather on his back and ass,-you are to blame, Sherlock. How many times have you been told to eat it? But you're a genius; you don't eat the whole day and then eat fast food. And then come to me. Pills you don't want had to make you...  
\- Is that all? - With a groan asked Sherlock, sliding naked ass on the floor.  
\- ENEMA, - graduated from John,- everything. Can go...

Pie filling  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
\- God, what is that? - asked Mycroft at his subordinates, looking at the pictures spread out on the table.  
\- Unidentified flying objects, - said , - the last two hours they fly over London.  
\- Friends?  
\- They dodging. This. - Is the first picture, which depicted a certain blue box,-then disappears, and then appears again. This. - is the second photo, it was captured hefty object about three kilometers in length, similar to a dragonfly with a torn wings, - eats dump at one end of the city and shit in the other end. And this, - is the third photo with the yellow-red object,-argues that sent the UN to protect HER MAJESTY.  
\- Take ' me down, and that's it! - Irritably said Mycroft.  
-But if this machine will fall over London, it will cause terrible destruction!  
\- Edifice alone to be devoured by the – fly. Knock The!

 

Cupcakes  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock brush rustles  
Cleans.  
John it all looks,  
Smiles.

 

March Hudson sings all  
Until the morning,  
And on the street is unbearable  
Heat.

 

Moffat, Gatiss to remove all of  
Going’re.  
And fans of the series   
Do stupid stuff.

 

Sherlock, John - friends   
Forever.  
Love to do a pair of them  
People.


	30. If...

No sooner had John and Sherlock ate the pill

 

The first version

-Who the hell, Sherlock! Why do you eat? Was poisoned if she?  
-It's okay, John. I am alive, and killer is dead! Right I was.

The second version

-God, Sherlock! Sherlock? - John shakes the motionless body of Holmes,-the Wake up! Give somebody the water! Inspector Lastread, how much time has passed?  
\- Three minutes.  
\- Bad, Sherlock did not eat, but the poison on an empty stomach... Thank you, -John takes a bottle of water and pours the water into the mouth half open Sherlock. Pulse intermittent and John doesn't like it.  
\- Pour into his mouth water, - he tells Lastread, and he rises to his feet and goes to the murderer. Disgusting Dull fish-eye crooked teeth. John wants to work on this hideous face, but he is restrained.  
\- Antidote, where is it?  
-No, - carnivorous grin, says the taxi driver.  
-You're lying! Give it here! - John begins to shake the bastard.  
After a long shaking, maniac still gives John an antidote. John goes back to Sherlock`s. A huge dose of water did the trick. Sherlock pulled out, but the poison is still not finished. John gives Sherlock`s an antidote and sent him to the hospital.

 

The third version

\- Oh My God!  
-I'm sorry, Mr. Watson, - said Lastread, - I truly am sorry.  
-Not that, - John kneels next to the body of Sherlock`s,-what are you an idiot, Sherlock, why did you eat the DAMN PILL! - shouts John. He was bad. He lost neighbor, lost man, which began to experience a friendly sympathy… And it happened so quickly that John couldn't even tell that person that he wants to become his friend.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock no sooner had

\- John! John? - Sherlock could feel his friend. Small hole in the chest Watson all said Sherlock, but he still hopes. Hopes that John will now open their eyes and say something can no respecter of persons, but at least it would be the word. John is dead and his girlfriend dead. It sticks thick bolt of deadly rooms of the Chinese circus. Sherlock no sooner had . Irrevocably.   
_______________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock shot/ bomb exploded

 

The first version

 

The bullet flies slowly, when you want to live, but it passes quickly, even if you cling to life. Moriarty falls on the white floor, and from under his head spreads dark thick blood. After him face forward, falls Sherlock. The sniper bullet hit him in the head. Gun Sherlock flies away somewhere, but John would not last long remains alive. Pain He feels in the chest and oblivion comes.

The second version

A deafening Explosion. And silence.

-Inspector Lastread, whatever you dig? - Irritation of Mycroft passed all bounds,-my brother had disappeared somewhere, and you can't still find it!  
\- Building no, Mr. Holmes, and there under the rubble, we don't know.  
\- Look, - Mycroft cold and uncomfortable.  
-Inspector! We someone found it!  
Behind him in A hurry Mycroft The rubble Lastread climbing over. The body is there, but it all turned into small pieces. But the head remained intact, at least the upper part of the head.  
-Is - Moriarty! - Talks through teeth, Mycroft, - I'd like to know what he was doing in the empty pool at night.  
-Is there someone else! - shout ahead.  
Lastread and Mycroft go on the voice. Sherlock. Or rather what was left of it?   
\- Judging by the nature of the damage, - said Lastread, - he stood ten yards from the explosion.  
-And what of this!!- Mycroft explodes,-is why he is here?  
-Well, we don't know,-replied Lastread,-if you don't find Watson.  
\- So look for it! - Evil grumbles Mycroft and kneels next to the body of Sherlock. It was a great hit with fragments of tiles and it turned out to be deadly, because one of the shards cut his carotid artery. Mycroft stares at the dead brother.  
-We even found one! - Dealt next.  
Mycroft rises and goes to vote. This Is Watson. The entire left side of his turned into mush under the body puddle of crushed bones, blood, meat, and brain matter. Surviving right eye looks calm and bewilderment. Mycroft turns to the body of his brother. The eyes of Sherlock opened and there in addition to peace of mind is nothing.  
-WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY HERE!? - Furiously yells Mycroft, nice knowing that no one will be able to give him the answer to this question.

The third version

\- Sherlock, you know, something to keep you alive I can't, - Moriarty looks at Holmes empty eyes.   
Sherlock understands this. But his biggest worry explosives on the John.  
-But I'm so crafty,-smirks Moriarty and goes to the door.  
Sherlock wonders. John is exactly in the middle. Sherlock One end Moriarty the second. John shakes his head in amazement. And suddenly Sherlock realizes that to happen. His eyes open wide.  
-NO! - He yelled, but his voice drowns out... explosion.   
\- Oops! - Says Moriarty, carelessly off of himself from any dust,-well, while Sherlock!  
Sherlock average looks at the big red puddle. Lord! John is no more! Sherlock swallows and stumbling step goes to the site of the explosion. His eyes noticed the arm... leg... rags muscles in a shapeless piece of meat that was previously breast-John. Sherlock Just feet. He was already deeply to spit on snipers. He lost a friend. Worse, he lost his ONLY friend. Then look clings to what used to be the head. From the head remained only rags, a little nape pitiful remnants of the temporal and terrible rags from the front. Sherlock pale, sits right in a puddle of blood, and shuts his eyes.  
\- I've changed my mind, - comes the voice of Moriarty,- I too live will not leave.  
Sherlock opens his eyes, sees the grin criminal genius and shoots him in the face. The bullet penetrates Moriarty nose that slowly falls on his back. Sherlock with some satisfaction notices that the blood Moriarty did not get on the blood of John. Not desecrated the place of death of each other. But it was his last thought.


	31. If... part 2

Sherlock did not have time

Sherlock not and Irene Adler died under the swords.  
______________________________________________________________-  
Sherlock never jumped off the roof.

The first version

-I guess I'll go, - sadly said Moriarty, looking at Sherlock, - you beat me.  
-What do you want to do?  
\- And it! - And Moriarty jumped off the roof. Sherlock looked down, and his heart shrank from incomprehensible fear. He came down and went to the body Moriarty. Dead man's gathered a lot of onlookers. The police arrived. Anderson and Donovan Of the car came out.  
-Ah, it's crazy here, -said Donovan,-and not jumped off the roof?  
-Who jumped? - asked Anderson.  
\- Moriarty,-is dimly replied Sherlock, - where Lastread?  
-Oh, but you don't know! Lastread was killed. Walked out of the building and they shot him.  
Sherlock frightened stared at Donovan.  
-I need to get to Baker Street!  
-Machine give or take a taxi caught? - Gall said Anderson.  
\- Walk - Sherlock turned and ran towards the house.

House The door ajar. Sherlock knocked on the door, but she still did not open. Sherlock climbed into the gap and discovered behind the door, the dead Martha. The old woman sat on the floor, uncomfortable bent legs. In my head blackened small hole.  
-Oh, -muttered Sherlock and yelled at full throat,- JOOOHN!  
Rushed upstairs, jumping over the steps. He now needed to see each other, maybe even cuddle up to him, to feel his breath, the beating of the heart. But his hopes were not destined to come true. John laid his head on the table, Bay of blood the whole table and laptop. Sherlock looked at it, and his lips trembled. Moriarty burned heart and broken soul. Now and henceforth, Sherlock will not be the same as before.

 

The second version

\- I'm able to motivate, - said Moriarty.  
-What? - Sherlock raised an eyebrow.  
\- You will not die - die other...  
-What, John? - Sherlock the lips shivered .  
\- And all the others, but I already called and withdrew two, - Moriarty looked away from Sherlock,-I decided that the old lady and the inspector is not as close to you as John.  
-You will not dare to do it,-the eyes of Sherlock filled with horror.  
\- Dare, - Moriarty already purring like a satisfied cat,-someone shoots your friend. You can choose. John or You. You jump from the roof, John continued to live. You don't Jump - John dies .


	32. Petals memory

Nimble little tongue gently licked Benedict neck, pausing for a vibrant vein. Benedict lay still, afraid will make a move. The tongue belonged to the creature called it was hard, because it was inhuman and even unknown. Horns big eyes coat, webbed wings, clawed fingers and flipper-like feet. This thing flew to the Benedict home, breaking a window and scaring all households.  
But the creature did not make fun at Ben's house; she took it and flew away with him in a dull dark forest. And now Ben was lying on the branches of someone of wood, is extremely inconvenient, as the creature slowly licked his neck. The tongue moved down to the collarbone, then on his chest. Ben was in a shirt and jeans, for when the creature was dragged off, he sat at the laptop. He simply did not have time to be frightened.  
-"Oh Lord, but who's to save me will you?"- Thought Benedict,-"Mick no , now I save him have. Although, knowing Mick`s, he appears just in time..."

The creature licked Benedict and flew to a higher branch. "Maybe then eat,"- thought Benedict,-"lick, taste tried...» the Creature sighed deeply and flew , and Ben lay. When the noise of wings faded away, Benedict rolled over on his stomach; he slid on the branch, but in time jumped. The tree stood on the top of the cliff Down Looked , and below darkly glistening ribbon of the river. From what have seen Ben shrugged. It was cold, and Benedict was desperately cold, but in time came and went quiet down the branches. A couple of times he almost fell, but the descent Ben successfully completed. Once on the stones, Ben wished that the house he walks barefoot. The stones were cold. Ben stepped on one stone, foot started to slide. Benedict tried to hold on to, but in vain. And Cumberbatch flew down.

Ben on The green lawn woke . He was not sick, and he thought that, most likely, he's already dead, because this fall to stay alive is unreal.  
\- Hello! - In the field of view of Ben appeared translucent creature with big eyes.  
-And who are you? - Asked Ben, - I'm dead?  
\- No. You are alive, but let's just say, you're not in that time and not in that world.  
\- I somewhere got, yes?  
\- Yes.  
\- As the creature where?  
\- Creature? She flew.  
-Yeah, - Ben up on his elbows, - and what is this world?  
-Oh! This is the world that weighs on fragile hair human life. Of human desires transparent bubble.  
And what I must do?  
\- Nothing, - said the creature, - your desires now here we have no strength, but you will be able to fulfill the desires of others. Your friend, for example...  
\- Which?  
\- The time saves which you all. See, I even know it...  
-And he can find here the road?  
-Maybe, - said the creature,-he just now come up.  
\- In the sense that he, too, somewhere will fall down?  
-No, - the creature listened, - Yes, it already happened.  
\- And I find it now?  
\- He finds you... And here it is.  
Mick Appeared. Only he looked like something unusual. He radiated a slight glow. He walked up to Ben and sat down next to her. The light faded. Black jeans barefoot Blue shirt.  
-Hello, Ben, - said Mick, - how are things?  
-I fell from a cliff, - Ben said, - did you come here?'  
-Well..., - Mick smiled, - and then blew up, so while my teammates are looking for mortal body from the ashes, I'm sitting here talking with you.  
-You died? - Ben nervously touched his shoulder Mick`s, waiting for that hand will pass through, but the hand came across the flesh.  
\- To be exact, I just moved. That is, I am here in flesh and blood, - said Mick.  
-Don't scare me as much - criticized friend Ben,-who is going to save me if you will die?  
-But you lived all these years without my help, - grinned Mick.  
-Yes, but...  
-Now, and without... but you have to perform a couple of my desires, - Mick smiled widely, - and maybe even three, I don't know yet...  
\- And what do you want? - asked Ben, preparing in advance for different desires.  
\- Nothing, - Mick stood up, walked and climbed knee-deep in the clear lake, suddenly appeared on the lawn.  
\- Mick,-Ben hesitated, - and why did you save me?  
-You don't want to?-Mick sat in the water and turned to each other. He looked a little surprised, - you don't like?  
-No, I like everything, but you could save someone else, and you come to me for help...  
-You're my friend, even though our friendship is hard to call this, because I never complain to you and ask you for help, but I consider you as my friend, - Mick smiled at Ben`s, - maybe I'll even love, on some subconscious level, but I love you as a friend and never wanted to stick to you. I can't put up with thinking about allowing same-sex marriage, because I think wrong it’s...  
-And you don't want me to hug or kiss? - asked dumbfounded Benedict.  
-I could get you a hug, but it will be as a friend and nothing more, a kiss? No, don't even think about it.  
-But maybe you have a subconscious desire? - tried to find Ben.  
\- Yes, subconscious desires are at all, even you, but if you keep them in check, then nothing will happen, right?  
-But you can me wish subconsciously?  
\- Maybe you want me too? - Asked Mick, - if this be so, then you, too, nothing in this direction are not doing?  
-You should have allowed?  
\- No.  
-Well, then why talk about what I want, - spat Benedict, - I'm trying to understand what you want?  
\- I? - Mick thought, - well; now I want you sat on the shore of the beautiful lake and he told me about his shooting.

BAM. And here's Ben sits and incessantly bursting, talking about where he is now removed.

-Enough, - abruptly interrupted him Mick.  
-Did I hurt you, - the frightened said Ben, -I am to blame.  
\- Waster. - Mick got out of the lake, went to Ben sat next to me and suddenly hugged him by the shoulders, holding her, - never fear, - muttered he edifying, - and nothing.

Ben clung to Mick`s, feeling the warmth and tranquility.  
\- All right, - he is buried in Ben's hair, - it's all right. This damn thing that I investigating completely exhausted me. Just stay with me, okay?  
-Okay, - Ben put an arm around each other's shoulders. Breathing Mick`s Ben moved his hair. Ben desperately wanted to stroke Mick`s on the head.  
-You can do it, -Mick raised his head, - you can Pat me on the head, I'm giving you permission.  
-Okay, - Ben said uncertainly touched shaggy the head of his friend and began to stroke. But Mick suddenly shrank into a ball and comfortably settled Ben`s on his knees, forcing Ben`s to stroke not only the head but also the back.  
-You're sure? - Ben touched the back of Mick`s.  
\- Well, - calmly murmured Mick, - surface. Me this way no longer stroking, but for me it is just necessary sometimes... Stoking.  
-Is your second wish? - asked Ben.  
-No, - he breathed out Mick is my small request.  
Ben stroked each other, and Mick was all straight and upright, until I finally stretched out full length.  
\- UV - Mick sighed, - and now, if you is not difficult, scratch me behind the ear.  
-You're sure?  
-Yes, - breathed Mick,-absolutely. I need support, and my companion and personal problems.  
-He, too, you stroking like that? - Startled Ben, I feel a strange jealousy.  
-No, - a little surprised, replied Mick, turning on his back,- and that bothers you?  
-I'm jealous, - Ben said.  
-Oh, - Mick smiled sheepishly and looked at Ben clear vision, - he's my partner, my friend, but not so close friend to was allowed to stroke me.  
-So am I the only one? - Feeling relieved, said Ben.  
\- No. There is one person who can to stroke me, but you don't know.  
\- Probably, it is your girlfriend?  
\- Girlfriend , - said Mick.  
\- Mick,-Ben leaned over the other, - you'll do me the honor of allowing me to lead you in this way.  
\- Release their basest desires,-Mick smiled, - I feel that there something else you want...  
-Is your desire? I can't... without your permission, - said Benedict, covered embarrassed blush.  
\- Okay, - Mick licked his lips, - I think that permission has been obtained signed by the Prosecutor and the Queen...

None of that happened. Then say that Ben is like a beast anything that could. Ben just kissed Mick`s a couple of times. Yes stroked on the neck and face. If Benedict had terribly indecent desires, then he crushed them. Did Mick`s? Hard to say, probably Mick used the theory of crowbar - crowbar is nothing but another scrap  
-You? - Ben looked at Mick`s.  
-Well, ticklish, - said Mick, - no, really. Your guilt is not here, I'm just not used that caress and kiss men, and may not be used....  
\- Didn't you like? - upset Ben. He was invested in these touching all the love and affection.  
-I don't know, - Mick rose to his feet and looked at Ben, - I can't say, because I'm crazy. I need to understand. I must go now. Talk to you soon.  
Radiance seized Mick`s. Ben blinked and when he opened his eyes, he saw lying on the sofa in his living room.  
-"Well, I had the dream,"- he thought -"fuck you".  



	33. First snow on yellow leaves

Leaves

 

\- Holmes, something you are not looking good? - asked Watson.  
\- No, my dear friend, I'm not sick, - said Holmes, - I'm just tired, but that annoys you...  
\- Holmes, are you so tired?  
\- Watson, did you read the fan fiction written about us?  
\- No.  
\- And rightly so, Watson, after reading all that about us posted, I realized that nothing lived a life...

-Holmes, what is it with you? - Watson looked at Holmes`s, who was lying on the couch and smoked opium.  
-Nothing, - snorted Holmes - yesterday I read all fanfic about us.  
\- And?  
\- I think that we are such assholes!

\- Holmes!  
-What is it, Watson?  
-Have you seen this!?- Watson shook head over a pile of leaves.  
-No, - Holmes quietly moved away and pressed back against the wall,- and what is it?  
\- This is a fan fiction about us!  
\- And?  
\- I think I need to take some ideas as a basis.

\- John?  
-Yes, Sherlock, what happened?  
-You fan fiction about us read?  
-No, and you?  
-I decided to ask...  
\- A hoo?  
-Awful, John, - said Sherlock, - now don't know whether to give you the opportunity to write a fanfic about us with you either take it all on Board?

 

Snow

 

\- Watson?  
-Yes, Holmes?  
\- Go here - Holmes sat near the fireplace.  
\- Something happened, Holmes?  
-I want to talk to you, my dear friend, - Holmes poured the brandy Watson,-as you look at it, to leave London?  
\- Holmes? - Watson looked surprised, - you have a new enemy?  
\- No. Just take you so long to insist that I began to eat well and less tortured himself with cocaine. And so I thought, why not?  
\- Holmes! - Watson moved, - I with two hands. When and where?  
\- I remember, because Moriarty we never finished touring Germany...  
\- Yes, I agree.

\- Watson, not to visit in America?  
-Why, Holmes?  
\- Relax, Watson. Boundless prairies, deserted place... Maybe that will make me turn away from cocaine.  
\- Good idea, Holmes! Then we go on the boat?  
\- Of Course, Watson.

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes?  
\- I bought two tickets on a ship to India. Get ready.  
\- But, Watson, what are we going to do there?  
\- Relax. Sit on the deck, watch, sleep and relax.  
\- Good, - gloomily replied Holmes.

\- John!  
\- Sherlock, I'm busy!  
-John! - Sherlock walked over to John`s and put her arms around his shoulders; - I want you to say something.  
\- Tell me, but here are shoulders to hug not worth it.  
-We're going to rest! - Happily announced Sherlock.  
-Where to? - taken aback John.  
\- Far. Mycroft organized for us a month tour of the resort in the world.  
\- Are you all right? - John felt Sherlock's forehead, for the black-haired head detective was under the hand of John.  
\- Full, - Sherlock smiled, - we will rest.


	34. Passions of Cthulhu

Beginning

 

\- Holmes, that we have forgotten in this godforsaken place?  
\- Dear friend, what do you say about this letter? - Holmes gave Watson a small letter.  
\- Rounded handwriting, apparently, female, - replied Watson, considering the evidence, - the woman was in a hurry, and she was afraid of something.  
The text would read: -"To my brother happened something strange and terrible. Please help. I can't go to you, because I have no money!"  
\- That's why we're here, Watson.

\- Holmes, what the hell are we doing here?  
\- Work`s, Watson.  
\- What you willingly decided to take the job?   
\- Money on opium over...

\- Watson...  
-Yes, Holmes?  
-What we here have forgotten?  
\- Work`s, Holmes.

-John, what do you say about this message? - Sherlock slipped friend smartphone.  
\- "Terrible problem to leave can't. Mr. Holmes, help!"  
\- I think I need to go.  
\- Went.

 

The plot

 

-Our destination was gone, - said Holmes, looking at the remains of the crushed house, covered in thick green resin, - is just incredible.  
\- You don't know what is this substance?  
-No, Watson,-Holmes frowned, angrily smoked tube, - strongly don't understand. We will return to the hotel.  
\- Holmes returned.

\- I don't like Watson.  
\- Me too. But there is work to do.  
\- Yes. Case, - Holmes pointed stick in a puddle of some sticky stuff, - I feel so bad, because I don't understand.  
\- Do research, Holmes.

-So, the green sticky stuff,-Holmes was crawling on his knees and gathered strange substance in the Cup,-something I don't remember any such animals that can be selected.  
\- Holmes, the end of it. I can't wait for someone to open it.  
-Wait, Watson. Anyway Bodies for dissection. 

\- Sherlock, what can you say?  
\- The house is blown up from the inside out. Green stuff Stinks All with around covered sticky.   
\- I do not like.  
-I understand, John, - Sherlock went over to friend, - I do not like it, but it is said somewhere in here there is an abandoned naval base. So it wasn't proposed to start from there.

 

The culmination

 

\- Why are we here have gone, Holmes, -said Watson, at the same time trying to catch hold of the slippery walls and keep Holmes's hand.  
-Nothing, Watson, - cheerfully said Holmes.  
-Hold on, Holmes, hold on.  
\- I see the light, Watson. OH MY GOD!!!!!- A terrible cry burst from Holmes.  
Watson looked down. Of water was chosen something slimy and huge. Huge flat tentacle that was attached me to the walls. One of the tentacles brushed Holmes, Watson, and they flew into the dark water.

-Holmes, gives me a hand! - Watson tried to catch the hand of Holmes.  
\- Does not work! - Holmes was hanging upside down, his leg held a thick sticky tentacle. He was swinging like a pendulum. Watson was also in the grip. He thrashed with a stick, but the tentacle that was uneasy.   
\- Holmes!!!  
\- Watson! They stay! And it seems to me that this thing drags us under the water.

-Watson! Give me a hand! - Holmes stretched out his hand, trying to catch the moving doctor. They have already lost the flashlight and glasses, but a knife and a revolver - no.  
\- Themselves let's here! - Watson tried to hold on the slippery wall, but inexorably slid to the water.  
\- Watson!!- Holmes leaned over a small ledge, could not resist and flew head over heels down.  
Watson caught him. But the noise they produce caught the creature that lived under the water. They did not understand what had happened. Something sticky pushed them down and dragged into the dark water. 

-Shit we went fucking around here!- from the walls of the abandoned base of dripping water from the ceiling was dripping foul-smelling slime. The guys walked knee-deep in stagnant water, and set the army of the lamp is reflected on the wet walls.  
\- But how interesting! - Sherlock was pleased, -adventure, John!  
\- Now put me in a room somewhere and start to do experiments, - grumbled John.  
But at this point, two healthy sticky ropes splashed out from under the water and grabbed the guys. John by the throat and Sherlock by the shoulders. Pulled and dragged.

 

Interchange

 

\- Holmes! Holmes! - Watson, with a buzzing head, crawled to the open body of the other. Holmes lay still. His checkered brown hunting suit was thoroughly caked with mucus. The eyes of Holmes were closed, and breathing was barely audible.  
\- Holmes!- Watson pulled out of the pocket of his dirty hunting suit handkerchief and carefully wiped off the face of the friend.  
Holmes sighed and opened his eyes.  
\- Dear friend, are you okay?  
\- And you?  
-I feel great, so, where is this thing?  
\- She fell below... us. But I feel the sounds.  
-Excellent, Watson,-Holmes sprang to his feet. They were on a tiny ledge that hung over the water. In the water, floundering unknown creature, and on a ledge in a dangerous position stood a huge boulder.  
-Help me, Watson!  
Holmes and Watson leaned on the stone, and he, yielding to the pressure, stumbled and fell down on the creature, pinning it. Thick tentacles twitched in agony and nothing fell down, plunging into the dark mirror of the water.

\- Holmes!!!- Cry Watson swept through the small cave. In the depths of the cave was moving monster.  
\- Watson! You're scaring him! - Holmes awoke and looked at the doctor. The doctor was covered in mucus. The once elegant costume turned into a disgusting muck. However, Holmes looked also.  
\- Shoot him, Holmes! Shoot!  
-I already tried, useless! Let's yell!  
\- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- The cry that came from the throats of the two men was terrible. The stones moved and fell on the poor beast, and Holmes and Watson threw in a small salt lake.  
\- It's dead! - Philosophically said Watson, rubbing his head.  
-Yes, - agreed Holmes.

\- Holmes! Holmes! - Watson held his neighbor and tried to bring in a sense. But flair doctor told him that if Holmes in ten minutes, don't open your eyes, it can already chick-chick.  
\- Watson, - Holmes opened his eyes, - you killed him?  
-Yes! - Watson proudly pointed to a huge pile of stinking meat, - scalpel - chick-chick and all.  
-Thank You, Watson! - And again lost consciousness.  
\- Holmes, doesn’t die!!!- cried Watson.

\- John! John!?- Sherlock released his neck Watson from the tentacles and now gently massaged the affected area.  
\- Cough! - A hoarse sigh, John opened his eyes and stared at the grey anxious eyes of Sherlock.  
-Where is this thing?  
\- Somewhere here, but don't worry. I know how to kill. Stand up can you?  
-Yes, - John stood up and looked around. They were in a small tunnel. Along the walls were thick wires. John went to look at myself. Jeans, shirt, sweater and jacket only release Shoes too.  
-You cold, - said Sherlock, and threw John his coat, which was also dirty, - hang your ceiling and don't touch feet of water.  
-You want to use electricity? - Incredulously staring at the slender figure in black jeans and soaked purple shirt, whispered John, -how are you going to survive?  
-I don't worry. Let's go.  
Sherlock clutching adjacent the cable the first bite. The ends of the cable fell into the water, and bright sparks flew across the water.  
\- Creature covers! - said Sherlock.  
-We too, - replied John.

 

The final

 

\- What was it, Holmes? - asked Watson, sitting by the fireplace.  
\- Cthulhu, Watson.

-Yes, Holmes, it would be better if you smoked opium.  
-Well, Watson.

\- Where does it hurt, Holmes?  
-Everywhere, Watson,-Holmes sat up in bed covered in bandages.

-What the hell, doctor, you dragged me back my brother!!!???- Ruined Mycroft in the hospital, where Sherlock and John came to his senses after a meeting with an unknown monster, - you've wasted ten years of top-secret scientific developments!!!


	35. If... part 2.1

Sherlock died

The first version.

 

Sherlock jumped off the roof and third of the season - no

 

The second version 

\- I'm able to motivate. Will not die you will die other.  
-What, John? - The Sherlock trembling lips.  
-And all other...  
\- Mrs. Hudson?  
-And all other...  
-Lastread?  
-Three sniper three bullets...  
Sherlock releases Moriarty. He departs; quietly trinket cell phone. Moriarty takes it.  
-Oh, as I said,-and shoved Sherlock under his breath. Three pictures three bodies. John, Martha, Greg - dead body.  
\- I asked for snipers to be careful, - says Moriarty pardoning tone, - no Amateur.  
Sherlock carefully looks at Jim, and then he says.  
\- Well. Killed my friends, but I suppose you'll make sure that I broke?  
-Of course, - smiles Moriarty.  
-Well then let's go, - Sherlock approached the edge of the roof, where he knows there are no people of Mycroft Looks down.  
\- Looking for a way to escape? - Interested Moriarty.  
-No, - Sherlock stands on the edge of the roof and looks down.  
-What you saw there? - Moriarty comes to Sherlock and gets near.  
\- You, - Sherlock grabs Jim's shoulder. The fingers are long and the grip of steel with Moriarty walks from the roof And together

....a dull blow... and the dark blood blurring from under two dead, Sherlock is lying face up. Gray eyes quietly looking at the sky. Moriarty face - down.


	36. Removal of the brain

-Holmes, I have learned you!- cried the inspector.  
\- How?  
\- You forgot to wear your false mustache when they went to take the cash!

\- Watson, why you bought the picture of Malevich?  
\- Specifically, Holmes - sarcastically said Watson,-guess that is pictured there?

\- Watson, what's in these bags?  
-Grass, Holmes.  
\- What is the grass?  
-Different, Holmes.  
\- But why?  
-Pink elephants to catch.

\- Sherlock, gets off the chandeliers! - Angrily said John.  
-No, - Sherlock jumped on the curtain.  
-Will not insist on it - throw away all cigarettes! - Strictly said John.  
\- Well, I don't care!  
__________________________________________________  
-Holmes, I am a zombie!  
-Well, Watson, how to tell them!  
\- Holmes - you also zombies!  
\- Well.  
-"Damn this Halloween!"- thought inspector Lastread sitting in the company of two zombies.

\- This statue, Holmes?  
-What's wrong with this?  
-You tell me, Holmes. You also have a BRILLIANT DETECTIVE!

\- Who is this?  
\- Where?  
-Yes there is, see, Watson,-Holmes showed up at the strange woman.  
-You're the detective, you tell me!  
\- I don't know, Holmes.

\- Who is this?  
\- Conchita Wurst, - said John.  
-You watch Eurovision? - Incredulously asked Sherlock.  
\- No.  
-So how do you know?  
\- Read in social networks.  
\- And who is this? - Sherlock switched channels.  
-Verka Serduchka...  
-You watch Russian TV?  
\- No, in social networks.  
-John, you're scaring me, - Sherlock turned the TV off, went to John on the couch, hugged each other and began to sing:  
-Go to sleep, my love, sleep,  
Let you not dream about them,  
These strange men...  
_________________________________________________________  
\- Holmes?  
-Yes, my friend?  
\- And you took out the brain?  
\- You do this all the time, Watson.

\- Holmes, stops seeping on the brain!  
\- Watson, gives us money!  
\- For you - no.  
\- Please....

\- Holmes, turns out your pockets!  
\- Watson, may not need?  
\- It is necessary. Chase grandmother, Holmes. No brains to spin for the roof to pay.

\- Sherlock, I was bored, - John ran through the apartment, collecting things,-I am leaving.  
-John!-gray eyes were fixed on each other,-than I offended you?  
-You me, Sherlock. I put to you a bunch of experiments, and you don't react!  
\- I'm trying to understand you, - said Sherlock. He, of course, would have stopped the other, but it interfered with wooden prosthetic left leg, a hook in place of the right hand, the hump on the back and hanging out gut, - even stomach me darn…  
-Sorry, - John walked over to Sherlock, put on him a plastic bag and duct tape, - goodbye, Sherlock.


	37. Tales

The first tale

 

Grandmother Martha had baked for her grandfather John Once... Sherlock`s.

The second tale

 

In the dark night when it's pouring down rain, at the gate of the castle was knocked create, wrapped in a black cloak.  
\- Let me go to sleep unhappy Princess!  
The Queen mother was told to run a waif; she has been looking for his son John bride. Many of them dwelt in the castle, but each Queen found flaws.   
Tramp dropped the cloak, and the Queen mother saw a sweet little brunette in a modest gown of green velvet.  
-Are you a Princess? -She asked her.  
-Yes, your Highness, - replied the gentle velvety voice,-the evil sorcerer stole my entire Kingdom, and I was kicked out.  
-Well, dearie. You will be given the opportunity to spend the night,-but she went into the room of the Princess, and put them under ten feather mattresses, eight cotton quilts, six bamboo mats - a ball of yarn with lots of spokes. 

\- How do you sleep? - asked the Queen mother in the morning the guest.  
\- Awful. In the body stuck so many sharp objects that I barely batted an eyelid.  
-She is a Princess! -Said the Queen - mother and arranged for her John. 

However, it turned out that it was not a Princess and Prince. But that's another story.

The third tale

 

In one country, there lived a man. His name Mycroft, he worked in the circus, were making dolls. And one day he decided to create a doll. The tree he was not satisfied. He went to the nearest dump, scored their scrap and soon made himself tall doll, which is called Shesar.  
And became Shesar studying the brains were made of iron, worked with a creak. But it happened one day, a terrible event. Above the city was a hurricane, and seizing Shesar`s, took him away in some distant country.

Fell Shesar in large poppy field, lay a little, got up and went. Came out of the field on the asphalt track and went for it. With fences his clothes scored. Dressed up Goes brains squeaks And suddenly he ran toward grayish color poodle, tonsured under lion.  
\- Who are you? - was barking poodle, trying to hide in a ditch.  
\- My name is Shesar, I brought hurricane - could Shesar to speak.  
\- My name is Trade - poodle growled backwards into a ditch.  
\- Why are you hiding? - asked Shesar.  
\- Because I'm afraid!-replied Trade,-and say where the tower rests against the leaden sky, there is one person who can give me courage. And you, what you want to ask him?  
Thought Shesar, and then said:  
\- Want to become a man.  
They went together.

And four days later they met another. It was a disheveled hobo sitting on the sidelines.  
-Hello, gentlemen! - He said to them, -where you going?  
-In a city with a leaden sky, - replied Shesar, - who are you?  
\- My name is Mishap, quite weak legs, but this is not important, and I want to ask heart a little.  
-I'll carry you, - glad said Shesar, - come climb on my back.  
And they went further.

And so the day passed, and after him many days, and their goal was still far. Endurance not eating Because of their and origin Shesar not sleeping. Trade caught rabbits for poor Mishap. And one day they met a lonely girl walking across the road.  
-Who are you? -asked Mishap.  
\- Adil-EN, - she replied, - go into the city for protection.  
\- Join us, - suggested the Trade.

And finally in the mist seemed to town with a leaden sky, but the cheerful company of the path was blocked by three. They were armed with clubs and brass knuckles.  
-The tramps have nothing to do in our city! - Threateningly said they were coming to the company.  
\- RRRRRRRRRRRR!!!- Growled Trade.  
\- Go! - cried Shesar and rushed on these three.

The fight was fierce, but not long, because in the sky suddenly a window opened, and there came down a hand, grabbed the entire company and dragged him upstairs.   
And they all died.


	38. Autumn depression

\- Holmes, you look bad, once remarked Watson for Breakfast.  
\- Depression, Watson, - said the genius detective,-all criminals have moved to the South.  
-Well, let's work on those unsolved cases from Scotland Yard are!  
-No, my friend, I have already seen these things, they are boring and not interesting.

 

-Holmes, you are again lying on the couch and smoke opium! -said Watson, going to his friend.  
-Yes, Watson, bored to be alive, when nobody does anything, - said Holmes,-and in General, I only appear.

 

\- Holmes?  
-Yes, Watson? -Holmes timidly peeked out of the room.  
\- Where are you in my scalpel?  
\- I did not touch him,- is covered in a cold sweat at the thought of a scalpel lost, said Holmes.  
-And if you think about it? - Watson pulled out a syringe and was carnivorous to glance at Holmes.  
He instantly hid.

\- John...  
-Yes? - Instantly responded John, the experience of knowing that when Sherlock is such a tone of voice, it is better not to contact.  
-Tell me a story! - Sherlock was lying on the sofa, curled, and sadly looked at his friend. In the gray eyes were full of longing. It was so much that it threatened to spill over.   
\- Now, only the tea will brew. 

***

 

\- ...here, one day, I remember - inspired lied Watson,- went into the mountains, and there on my dog attacked....  
-What mountains can be in the Sahara? - puzzled asked Holmes.  
\- Sandy, and under such a mountain standing camel, and I began to spit, and I took his butt on the head, and he suddenly target inhuman voice...  
-Perhaps, dear friend,-worried voice said Holmes,-not smoked if you are my opium or maybe you cocaine took?  
\- Obvious and that?  
\- Yes. For God's sake, Watson, don't touch more drugs. You from them, do not own becoming. Come on, I'll help you,-Holmes helped to rise to his friend, took him into the bedroom and waited until the poor man falls asleep, went down to the fire.  
-Autumn, autumn, what are you people doing?- muttered Holmes, stuffing a pipe of opium. 

 

\- What's wrong with you, Watson!?- surprise asked Holmes, when Watson, looking back, entered the room and crawl under the bed.  
\- Hide me, - tearful said Watson, - I pursued green man. He asks me forty pounds and beryl diadem.  
-Wait, Watson,-Holmes looked under the bed, -you opium inhaled?  
\- Stop, Holmes, - Watson pointless staring at Holmes, - chic lion's mane and things leg, and he's already HERE! - The whisper turned into a scream.  
Holmes somehow pulled the doctor from under the bed, brought into consciousness and was sent home.  
\- Terrible, however, glitches in Watson,-Holmes again went and smoked opium.

 

\- Holmes!! Open the door!!! And give the scalpel!!! - Watson burst into the room Holmes.  
-I have none, -Holmes looked around. For a place to hide was looking.  
\- Just go, - said Watson,-my wrath is terrible.  
Half an hour later, Sherlock looked out of the door; quick dashes reached the front door and rushed into the street.  
\- Martha, this moron is gone, - said Watson.  
-Very well, send the soup is, but it soon cools down.

\- ... and went the Prince to the castle and saw the Princess, - said John, sitting around the sofa.  
\- John, but it's such a boring tale,-in the gray eyes of Sherlock tears,-because it does not marry, because she is his half-sister.  
\- You have all the stories boring, - growled John.  
\- And one not boring,-suddenly said Sherlock, sticking on the couch.  
\- And what?   
\- There were Sherlock and John,  
Eating eggs with milk,  
Angry John on Sherl,  
Hit Sherl fist.  
This Sherlock is not tolerated,  
John behind the door flew,  
And then came the damsel  
\- You want to marry,  
Only it's not a girl,  
It is a secular, damn, lioness....  
Moriarty came here  
Poor Sherlock found  
But Watson uses,  
Moriarty beats,  
Tilly-Li-Li - tile-BOM!  
Lit up Charlie's house,  
Resorts here Mycroft  
Extinguish the fire umbrella...  
\- Did you make that up? -wondered John.   
\- No,in the network read when your laptop was hacked.  
-No you bedtime stories, - said John, and went in a chair.


	39. Abduction

Blood was everywhere. Benedict I've never let so much blood has not seen, and when seen, it was unreal. Next to him was a guy. It was one that he periodically saved from any kind of trouble. Ben did not recognize him at first, but after he spoke a couple of words just remembered.  
And this guy was lying the wounded. And Ben clung to the wall. But the shooting stopped, and Ben had the opportunity to get your Savior in unreliable shelter.  
-Buddy, how is you? - Ben frantically felt his Savior.  
...Bad, - sighed the boy, revealing gray eyes.  
\- Are you sure?  
-No, - the boy wriggled out of the hands of Ben, - you how?  
-It's all right, - Ben said.  
\- Do not hurt? - The guy was staring at Benedict`s.  
-No, and you...  
\- I'm aware of,-am the Savior of the unzipped myself flak jacket and took off his shirt then. In the right side was bleeding gunshot wound.  
-Come on, I'll help you, - Ben said.  
-And can you?  
-Of course, - Benedict pulled from his shirt sleeve, ripped and was bandaged to his new friend the wound,-and now what?  
.


	40. The files N.1313     Missing Skulls the.

-What do you say, special agent, Holmes? - said a young dark-haired woman in a business suit and pink lace blouse, standing beside the prostrate body stout man of about fifty.  
What I have to tell you, ma’am? - asked the young tall dark-haired man in a black suit and white shirt with open collar.  
\- Irene Adler, -dark - haired looked at the agent, - I want to know about this bodies all...  
\- The body is lying... about five minutes,-agent Holmes sat down on the corpse, pulled on sterile gloves and started for the inspection, raised the lid of the murdered, the eyeball limp out of the eye socket,- is interesting, no external damage. The head is soft, special agent Watson, come here! - called Holmes. From a group of police separated a short man, slightly older than agent Holmes, dressed in a black business suit, white shirt and black tie.   
The corpse lay in one of the alleys of San Francisco; the weather was warm, which was unusual for the beginning of autumn.  
-Agent Holmes? - A short man walked over to his companion.  
-Look, this body has no bones of the skull or am I wrong?  
Agent Watson put on gloves and began to palpate the head of the dead man.  
-Interesting, no external damage, and the bones of the skull are missing, but I will definitely say after opening.  
\- Interesting question, isn't it, John? - The agent Holmes was shining eyes.  
-Yes, - said the agent Watson, standing up and taking off gloves,- just to your taste, Sherlock.

After about eight hours, when the agent Holmes, after obtaining the testimony of witnesses and police officers, sat down and looked at the paper, called the agent Watson.  
\- You would not believe Sherlock! - Excitedly he shouted into the phone, - the bones of the skull there, and all the organs that are in the skull should be whole! Do you understand?! Someone had killed the man, pulling out his skull.  
-I felt John that this case will be interesting,-enthusiastically replied the agent Holmes.

Five hours later both agents were sitting in the Motel and watched the information gained during the day.  
\- I'm wondering two questions, - said John, - how and why?  
-Is all the machinations of the government, - said Sherlock.  
-Our government has no such technology, - muttered John, accompanying the words monstrously long yawn.  
\- There is no present and the shadow, which cooperates with alien civilizations, there.  
\- You yourself don't believe it, - replied John, - and, in General, it's time to sleep.  
\- In childhood believed - gray eyes Sherlock was troubled. John knew these symptoms, - when I was a kid, once in the room where we slept with his brother, entered the bright light... got out of faceless people and took my older brother. More I have not seen him, is monotonically said Sherlock in one breathe, - and then I believed that my brother was taken by aliens, but with age I realized that these were people in suits, and my brother was not resisting, as if she knew what awaits him behind the door.  
-You've got to forget about it,-soothingly replied John, - let's get, but it will be tomorrow as two dried shrimp.

The next day found another body without bones of the skull. It was an old American working babysitter. It was discovered by customers who wanted to hire. Customers have shown that saw the old man coming out of the house killed. But they are extremely thoroughly confused in the testimony, describing the appearance of the men. The woman said that the man was tall, muscular with white hair and expressionless face. The man claimed that the opening was small, bald and frail, and his face likes a rat, sharp and lively.  
\- What we do on the first body? - Asked Sherlock, trying coffee from a plastic Cup; apparently to him it didn't like, so he made a disgruntled face,-set personality?  
\- The loader at a construction company, - said John, - the second victim was not associated.  
\- Interesting case, but such a strange,-displeased Sherlock snorted,- I can smell that problems we have not yet found.

-Stop or I'll shoot! - cried Sherlock, raising the Beretta. A tall man with an expressionless face looked back at special agent, but ignored the request. Another man rushed forward, his eyes wide. High followed him. Special agent Holmes added step. He almost caught up to the tall man, but he made a slight movement of a hand, and the agent Holmes bent from a sharp pain.  
\- Sherlock! - Out of the darkness jumped out John, but he got in the gut.  
High disappeared in the darkness, there was soon the scream abruptly snapped.  
\- We seem to have a new body, - said Sherlock.  
-Exactly, - replied John.  
But they had not only a new body, but a new trouble. From the darkness came the bland big fella came up to him, looked up, leaned over and grabbed the agent Watson. He tried to escape, but skillful kicks somewhere has led to the fact that special agent John Watson went limp in the hands of verily. Sherlock tried to help his friend, but got a couple of kicks in the ribs and he lay still, sprawled on the pavement.

-Agent Holmes! Agent Holmes! - The insistent voice brought Sherlock in a sense,-what happened?  
-They kidnapped agent Watson, - barely moving lips, muttered Sherlock, - I must find him.  
\- Who stole? -the voice belonged to the agent Adler.  
-We returned to the Motel, when John, agent Watson, - quipped Sherlock,-he saw a certain man, which had a young Asian. We gave chase.  
\- Asian we found the skull lacks. And you need a doctor.  
\- I need to sleep, - said Sherlock,-and I'll be fine.

Back at the Motel, Sherlock collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. Woke up from a persistent call Fumbled hand, found the cell phone.  
\- Come night at an abandoned plant, - rustled disembodied voice, - will come - will refund your friend, will refuse to - send to pieces.  
\- Well. When?  
\- At nine in the evening - in the tube went long beeps.  
Sherlock fell asleep again. Woke up an hour before the appointed time, he washed, shaved, changed clothes, had a quick bite and went to the factory.

The plant was dark and uncomfortable. The main shop was in darkness. Sherlock stood exactly in the middle, looked around, clutching the gun. And suddenly hit a white blinding light. Sherlock shuddered. The light went down, leaving thin luminous strips in the walls. Opened the far door on the white background has Vidalia black silhouette.  
\- I'm armed! - cried Sherlock, remembering the nightmare of childhood.  
\- Sherlock? Brother?-calm familiar voice.  
Special agent Holmes lowered his weapon.  
\- Mycroft? Is that you? What happens?  
-It's me, Sherlock,-the man walked from the door, and on the ceiling flashed lonely lamp, lighting it, - well, hello, brother!  
-Hello, - said Sherlock with a grain of salt despite the newfound brother.  
-Come with me.  
\- No. Where Is John? I want returned to me John`s. I am a special agent of the FBI Sherlock Holmes!  
-I know,-peaceful agreed Mycroft. He snapped his fingers, and next to him was beaten and bound by John.  
\- Either you're coming with me, or we kill your teammate. He knows too much.  
\- It will not go! - cried Sherlock and shot in the lamp. It exploded with a loud clap.

\- John!? John?! - called Sherlock.  
-Here, - whispered a familiar voice.  
Sherlock hid the weapon and unleashed a companion.  
-I know how to remove them, - said to John, - I stole their weapons.  
-Okay, okay, - replied Sherlock, - don't go away far away from me, I should know that you're okay.  
\- Sherlock, stop being a baby, - in the darkness came the voice of Mycroft`s, - we have creation, the only one that could survive. The rest are defective material. We are the fruit of the experiment between alien entity and person. I more like his alien father, and I was taken first, and you turned out to be unique. Your skull is unique, and the contents of your skull are priceless.  
\- If you are release, I'll kick yourself all of this is priceless! - cried Sherlock.  
-You would not dare!!! - screamed Mycroft.  
Was a flash of light not the whole Mycroft just winced; he pulled his hands to her brother, wanting to stop, and Sherlock put the Beretta to his temple. Mycroft had not seen that emerged from behind Watson and stabbed him in the skull base Shilo. Mycroft silence fell on the floor and began to spread pungent green liquid.  
-We're moving! -yelled John. He ran over to Sherlock, grabbed his hand and they rushed away 

Standing on the street and turned his face to the cold rain, the agents stood and smiled.  
-I'm sorry I killed your brother, - said guiltily John.  
-Never mind, -Sherlock funny wrinkled her nose, - you survived. And that's the main thing.


	41. Christmas transformations

\- Watson, what is there for Breakfast? - asked Holmes came down from the room.  
\- Cheese, candy candles, a slice of greasy crust, thimble oatmeal, - said Watson.  
\- Not much, but what can you do, - said Holmes,-because of this damned Muriarty, we have to be content with such meager table.

 

-There is nothing more beautiful than to live and die in the glare. And, Watson, don't you think? -asked Holmes.  
\- No you're exposed to the traditions Best of all when. Then you stand firmly on his feet  
\- You are a typical Brit! - Passionately cried Holmes and having extended bright sparks fell silent forever.

 

\- We should be more lenient to people - gently chided Holmes Watson`s.  
\- People - only material for dissection! - Evil said Watson.  
-There is nothing better than when a person comes to you with your pain, and you accept it, embrace and accept his pain to himself.  
-You have a strange concept, Holmes, the man is sick, it should be open! - was angry with Watson.  
\- I hear footsteps and the creak of wheels, it seems, we have work, Watson!

 

Sherlock loved this place. He was born and raised here. Here was good, light and Sunny. He avidly studied the world. How many have heard the passionate declarations of love, the strongest quarrels, and a couple of times came to him to die. Sherlock studied the human world, because it was interesting to him.  
Recently he had a friend, and Sherlock made every effort to newfound friend was interesting. They chatted merrily all day. Sherlock shared his observations, and his friend, his name was John, listened to him, shaking his head.  
Once winds, caught up with the clouds, and the storm broke. All the people were hiding and Sherlock for the first time in his life he regretted that he didn't have a roof over your head. He looked at his friend. That was rain jets and was reeling from the wind. John froze and shivered in the cold. Sherlock reached out to him to keep, but there came over him a terrible crash, and the wildest pain pierced him to the heels. Sherlock looked at his friend, but he is already lying on the ground, his arms outstretched, motionless and lifeless. And then Sherlock lost consciousness.

***

 

\- Holmes! - Roared through the door and a black shaggy paw tried to penetrate into the living room.  
\- Watson, help me, - Holmes jumped on thin legs, ran to the leg and violently bitten her.  
\- Muuuriaaaarty! - howled at the door, but the paw withdrew.   
\- Close the door, - Holmes and Watson barricaded the doors and sat down to rest on the steps.  
-I was tired, Watson, - said Holmes, smoothing his mustache.  
-Me too, - replied Watson, scratching behind the ear.

-Again, some idiot threw the butt on the asphalt - Watson heard a rough voice on them, - and the urn is time to be emptied.  
Watson turned into a black bag and put in place. "I don't see Holmes,”- thought Watson.

Rushed into the ward doctors, they were carrying a blood-stained man.  
\- One, two, took! - The body was moved to the operating table.  
\- Scalpel! -The doctor said.

\- Look, poplar hit by lightning, - said the Park Ranger in the morning, when they together with the cleaner went to remove debris after a storm,-and split it in half.  
-Will survive?  
\- May and ash broke. Sorry. Need for firewood to cut.


	42. Dreams

Moving away from the rack, Mick followed to a seat at the table and suddenly saw HIM. HE was sitting in the company of four other people, but Mick had no doubt that this is the most elusive killer. Mick took a seat and began to wait for the ordered food, knowing full well that the detention of that person would result in spoiled the day for most in the hall. Company, where HE was, begun to pay - they generally behaved noisy then stood up and walked to the exit. They passed the table where sitting Mick, and Mick suddenly realized that the killer knows what he's uncovered. But they all passed by, and went out into the street. Mick tensed. He did not believe that things will go smoothly and began to calculate the options of detention with a minimum of casualties among civilians.  
One of the people that were with HIM in the company came back and stopped in the doorway. Mick knew this man and even worked a couple of times and Mick knew why this guy standing in the doorway the lousy lay in the fact that. The killer decided to protect themselves, and now HE is arrested and pushes down on it all unsolved murders. Mick smiled, at this point he brought ramen, and he began to eat. But at the same moment, from the kitchen came an armed man, who together with the guy at the door and the guy with the black entrance, rushed to Mick`s. But Mick imperceptible movement splashed hot ramen in the face of the first attacker, the second was nailed to the wall, launching him chopsticks - not killing, but only wounded, rushed toward his friend, pulled a gun, kicked him in the stomach, then grabbed limp body and out through the window, ran off. It was shot a couple of bullets yet reached the goal. But Mick disappeared, taking his friend.

Mick ran into the safe house, which the police used to work undercover. Apartment in the quarter Cheap Mick opened the window to a musty smell has disappeared. In the refrigerator was dominated by glacial period, coupled with the great desert, so Mick had locked his friend and went to stock up on food. An hour and a half Mick returned brought two filled plastic package. Buddy already woke up and was in a terrible disappointment.  
\- Mick!!! You know, this is too much!!!  
\- Why do you think so? - Mick scored the kitchen, lay out in the bathroom with soap, shampoo, two cheap shaving machine, shaving cream, two brushes and paste.  
\- Resisting arrest!!!!  
-Sorry, my fault here, I wanted to do without victims. The more you had the order to shoot to kill.  
\- How do you know? - His friend expressed a certain degree of amazement.  
\- The one who commanded you, who is he?  
\- Colonel.  
\- That's it - he stooped down and frowned. The bullet that hit him, just slipped through the body, not bringing much harm.  
\- You take me hostage long hold will be?  
\- God be with you, Dale, what are the hostages?! Just you, sometime will be next to me. If my intuition won't let me down, it will not take much time.

The rest of the day passed quietly, beginning of the night too. And in the hour of the night Mick picked up the Dale, all that remained of purchases, scored in packs and they are piled up with the safe house. As it turned out, rightly so, for in an hour after leaving HE came and defeated from impotent rage the whole house.  
Mick dragged Dale in a dirty area, where few people lived, but it was a lot of iron, rusty frames, dilapidated walls and dirty in every sense of the rooms. Here in one of this cantina they come from.  
-Undress, - said wearily, Mick, - naked.  
\- Are you nuts? -asked Dale.  
-No, you're all in the bug. Take your clothes off.  
Dale undressed and was amazed to look at how Mick with frenzy trampled on his clothes. After an hour Mick gave him a whole heap of clothes, more like rags.   
\- And now Braze!  
Dale, silently, he shaved his head, Mick hesitated and on the hair.  
\- I hope that you have no bugs in his teeth and internal organs, - said with a laugh, Mick, - I don't want you to open.  
\- Why do you think I have bugs?  
\- We found pretty quickly though.  
\- Logical - Dale got dressed,- and do you think that all bugs destroyed?  
\- No. But it changes nothing. Already does not change.  
-What are you?  
-I figured out how to stop the killer.  
\- Well, isn't... - began Dale, thought for a moment, then said, - I do not believe, that the Colonel talked about you.   
But the last words drowned out the chatter of helicopters.  
\- Went to an abandoned factory,- Mick was not surprised at all that found them again.

They slipped out of the dilapidated house, and, making his way through the ruins, snuck into the basement of the former factory. The whirring noise of helicopters could be heard from afar.   
-That's what I'll tell you, Dale, - Mick walked through the basement - killer - Colonel. He will say anything to slip out from murder, why it is so entails to kill, I don't know. But I know how to stop it.   
\- What to do?  
-You must kill me.   
\- WHAT???!!!- Dale couldn't believe his ears. - How? Why?  
-I have to get to the Desk, alive I can't get there, and dead - Yes.  
-But, Mick.... Can't you think of another way?  
\- I will not die, - Mick smiled forgiving smile, - and the legend is as follows. I told you that Colonel Killer, you did not believe. I cited evidence that you're angry. I insisted, you grabbed a piece of iron, glass and so forth. Hit me and killed. In the heat of passion Murder the Colonel will remove from you all suspicions will be awarded and will beat at every opportunity. Here is the murder weapon; - Mick leaned over long thin shard of glass.  
Dale came over and looked.  
-Take it and kill me.- In voice of Mick`s felt the order, request, or satisfaction? Mick said quietly.  
Dale scratched his head, - not sure I will sleep well after that.  
\- They are already close, - Mick smiled again, - I believe you. Come on.  
Dale crossed himself, grabbed the shard and hit Mick`s in the chest. Mick smiled encouraging smile and went limp. Dale took up and laid her down on the floor and struck nearby, shaking from silent sobs.

Valiant FBI has registered discovered dead Mick`s and agent Jones in the basement of an abandoned factory. Mick`s was taken to the morgue of the FBI, and agent Jones after a brief interrogation, where Dale was successfully pretended to be a moron, let him go.  
Two days after the alleged capture of the murderer, there was another murder, repeating the previous. The public has become clear that the body lying in the morgue of the FBI was not a murderer. Dale decided to say goodbye to Mick, before issuing his body friends. Came to the morgue, put forward the trough. Mick and was dressed in breast splinter. Dale sobbed, but splinter decided to pull out. Grabbed and pulled, and the fragment was surprisingly easy. The shivered Mick coughed, opened his eyes and sat down. Dale fainted.....


	43. Sundries

In the dark recesses hid a small shop which sells all different kinds of things.

-Holmes, who is that? -Watson showed on seal creature, lying in a large aquarium.  
-My brother, - sorrowfully replied Holmes.  
-My God, Holmes! But is the seal!  
\- All we are not without sin.

 

\- Watson, why have you brought me here?  
-I want you to buy something that will turn you back from any follies.  
\--And what is it, Holmes?  
\- The Hound of the Baskervilles.

 

\- Watson, is you sure that this store has what I need?  
\- Be calm, Holmes, - said Watson, and went for the racks.

 

\- John?  
\- This is for you, Sherlock; - John gave his friend a pot of plain flower.  
\- Me? - In the gray eyes of Sherlock reflected amazement.  
\- Yes.

 

\- Watson!  
\- Holmes, that you forgot?  
-Well, I thought maybe you buy some trifle.  
-Oh, how sweet of your hand,- Watson turned pink.

_________________________________________________

 

\- How has this happened, Holmes, which your brother - seal?  
-It happened gradually, Watson. No one noticed the changes until it was too late.  
-And you decide to sell it?  
\- The family has no money for fish.

 

\- Why do hound of the Baskervilles, Watson?  
\- Do you want a dog? Then choose, - Watson made a wide gesture,- fish sirens, vampires, horses...

 

\- Whatever you bought, Watson?  
\- Siren, Holmes, siren.  
\- Fire? Why?

 

-But, John, I have no time to care for flowers! - Cried Sherlock, - I don't know how!  
-The seller said that this flower just needs watering. And pour you'll be able?  
\- Pour? Yes.

 

\- Well, as the chosen?- Holmes was nervous.  
-Give me time.

_______________________________________________

 

\- Holmes, and let's pick it up on Baker street! - Exclaimed Watson, - I have a good practice; we will feed your brother!  
\- Dear friend, you are so kind - Holmes wiped away a tear.

 

-Come with me, Watson, Holmes stood on the threshold of the shop and looked wistfully into the street - I don't want.  
\- Really? - asked Watson.  
\- Shoot and forget, - replied Holmes.

 

-No, Holmes, this kind of lizard.... Now she will live with us.  
\- I take care of it will not, - cautiously glancing at the lizard, said Holmes.  
\- Will, Holmes will be. Where you are on Fig disappear. 

 

\- Went home, Sherlock, - said John, taking hold of the door handle.   
\- Why do you give me, in General, flower gave? - Suspiciously asked Sherlock, lost in amazement.  
\- You're a detective now and think!

 

-And now? - Holmes looked at his watch. It's been three hours.  
\- I am torn between a brooch for five dollars and a set of Chinese cosmetics - thirty.  
-Take it all; - said Holmes, - I'll pay for the purchase.  
\- Perfectly.


	44. Sale

\- Holmes, would you like to be a pirate?  
\- No, but the offer is tempting.

 

\- Holmes? What do you have up? Halloween is long over.  
-I'm going to pirates, Watson.

 

\- Earring, Holmes? - Watson picked the scalpel in his teeth.  
-I'm going to pirates, Watson, proudly replied Holmes.

 

\- Sherlock, why are you so happy?  
\- John! I am a pirate! Come with me?  



	45. The thing about the devil's flower.

Beginning

\- Watson, what's wrong with you? - Once asked Holmes, seeing his friend blooming and joyous.  
-I fell in love, Holmes.  
\- Watson, but after the death of Mrs. Watson had little time?!  
\- Fullness, Holmes. Mary died but I'm alive! 

 

\- Holmes, what was that girl I saw you on Oxford Street? - asked Watson met around the house 221 b.  
-She paid for me in the café, - said Holmes, - I met her.  
-My God, Holmes. Tie with a shortage of money in their pockets.

 

-Holmes, I saw you with a girl. Take the trouble to explain? - Watson was coming to Holmes, cutting off escape routes.  
\- None of your business, Watson You Martha there.

 

\- Sherlock, you won't believe! - John smiled contentedly, despite the fact that today it all fell from the hands.  
\- Yes? - Sherlock raised his left eyebrow and caught flying down service with milk.  
\- I fell in love.  
\- John, soothingly said Sherlock, eliminating the mess in the kitchen, - Mary died recently...  
\- To hell with Mary!

 

\- Holmes, what is it? - Joan Watson stood by the door and looked at the drunk and naked Holmes.  
-No problem, Watson, - Holmes, and many are not confused, he shrugged, his shoulders, - I had a woman . And I think I'm in love with her. And if you are jealous, and you are jealous - can become my girlfriend,- and Holmes belched loudly.  
\- You are drunk, Holmes! - With the icy calm of the said Joan, and departed.

 

The plot

 

\- Will Holmes - Watson presented his friend a sweet little creature, - this is Miss Tonya Darling. I'm in love with her and soon I'm going to make an offer.  
-Hello, miss darling! - Holmes kept greeted her and began to suck his pipe.  
There was a silence.   
Miss Darling somewhat differed painful thinness, yellowish skin color, and her long chestnut hair shone red. Her dress, sewn from the well-known London milliner was cucumber colors and closed the neck up to the chin, hands up to the wrists and feet to the ankles. From under the dress looked brown lace-up booties.  
-You, miss darling, rarely leave the house. You have a sedentary way of life and quite closed, said Holmes, without ceasing to look at the guest.  
\- I have a seriously ill mother, - murmured the girl, raising his yellowish eyes on Holmes, - I care for her.  
\- You also need treatment, - said Holmes, - you have pronounced jaundice and anemia. Watson, you're a doctor, how did you manage to miss that? - Holmes reproachfully looked at each other.  
-I diagnosed immediately, - offended Watson, -but I need to pick up medications. And I think that it is wrong to sit at home in this wonderful weather.

-Where does she live? - The question of Holmes caught up with Watson at the door.  
\- On Gloucester road...  
\- Did you know that there began to disappear people?

 

\- Watson, - Holmes was dressed as a gentleman, and was holding hands with a very slender girl in a bright green dress are my favorite, - Miss Laria Pillar.  
\- Romanian? - asked Watson, considering a friend of a friend.  
\- English - offended Holmes, - isn't she lovely?  
\- How to say, how to say, - Watson couldn't think of anything to say.  
The girl differed greenish tint of the skin, hair and eyes. She had teeth are small and look very sharp.  
-You live alone? - Cautiously asked Watson.  
-No, - the voice was very strange, like a splash of water, - with me still living six sisters.  
\- Where do you live?  
\- Gloucester road, 16 b.  
-Holmes, -Watson had to raise his voice before he heard it, - and you know that on this street the cases of missing people?  
-I will protect Laria from any problems, - Holmes looked happy.

 

\- Watson, let me show you - Miss Dion Polhamus; - Holmes entered the living room a little chubby girl with purple hair, round glasses, dressed in a green skirt from shabby velvet and purple coat Georgette. Her eyes were green and purple cast.  
\- Holmes, what is this woman? - complained Watson, picking his teeth with a scalpel, - you can't bring women here!  
\- She is a student at Eton, and not what you thought...  
\- I don't care, because I don't like - Watson turned and went into his bathroom.  
-Forgive him, Dione, - said Holmes, turning to his companion.  
-Nothing, - a sweet voice murmured it.

 

-Is Sarah Racine, - said John, taking his guest on the sofa, - and this is my friend Sherlock.  
-Very nice, - the girl was meditatively voice, long red hair, reddish skin, which could indicate mild anxiety, and red eyes that was due to colored contact lenses. She wears a bright green jeans, red top and striped red green hoodies.  
The Sherlock felt dizzy from these bright colors. The girl seemed exotic flower, but Sherlock overcame himself and asked politely:  
\- And Gloucester road are you afraid to live?  
-No, not at all, I love the water and flowers, - laughed the girl.  
-How nice, - said Sherlock, and turned to the laptop, all went off to work.  
-Let's walk, - John winked at his companion.

 

-Is THAT WOMAN!? - Angrily asked Joan notice in the living room leggy girl with short green hair in a very short green dress and with a predatory big mouth. She was drunk, and he was stoned.  
\- Is - Wanda Alldata, - murmured Holmes, - and this is my curated by Joan Watson! Unbearable person to knock it, honey!  
\- You are in my house! - Icily she said, - sometimes both here, and while you, Mr. Holmes, not sober up, I don't want to see!  
-You see! - Holmes turned to Wanda, - no, would have to stay... and she us drives …

 

The culmination

 

\- Holmes, Miss Darling may live will with us? - Asked Watson a week later, - in her house burst steam boiler.  
-No problem, dear friend! - Holmes was calm as ever, - and where you'll spend the night?  
\- I'll take the chairs near the fireplace.  
\- Well.  
Miss Darling reigned on Baker Street. She claimed that she did not constrained by them, for her to spend the night.

 

\- Holmes, and what this girl is doing in your house? - asked Watson to Holmes.   
\- She has no house; I did not say that there just happened. Let him live with me.  
-I also have delayed, resolutely replied Watson.  
-As you wish.

 

\- Holmes! I will not tolerate in our house foreign women!!- screaming Watson, splashing saliva and waving the scalpel in the immediate vicinity of the nose Holmes.  
\- Dion will spend the night here, and tomorrow will go to Plymouth! - Replied Holmes, - and I'll sleep on the sofa in the living room.  
-What the hell! - Watson slammed the door of the room.

 

\- Sherlock, doesn’t go in my bedroom, - said over dinner John.  
-Yes? - Sherlock raised his eyebrows in surprise, - and what are you hiding Really Sarah?  
-Yes, - John was confused, - you see, she has no place to sleep, and I kindly gave her my bedroom...  
-Good, - Sherlock smiled, - and you, I understand, will sleep tonight on the couch?  
-Yeah.  
-I'll sit with you. 

 

-It is here! said Holmes, Joan Watson, - Wanda will spend the night and tomorrow will go to the friend.  
\- I hate you - Joan slammed the door.

 

Interchange

 

The night Holmes woke up from a strange knocking such a strange systematic knock. Holmes donned the robe and peeked out the door. What he saw shocked him. Long and strange tentacles dragged the sleeping doctor's legs in his bedroom, and behind half-open doors guessed something horrible. Holmes took the revolver and rushed to the rescue. He tore Watson from a large jug, which was slipped into his body. About unfeeling doctor in the corner, Holmes began to shoot.

 

At night, Watson heard the thud sounds. Watson got up, took a stick and a gun and left the room. In the middle of the hall was a large puddle, the puddle was something strange and it was chewed Holmes. Watson yelled wild voice and hit this shit stick. The creature fell sharply. Watson pulled stubby Holmes, but he, despite his stubby, was in deep trance. Watson pulled the other and began to peel a green creature with a cane. Then went for opium and poured on it. Incredibly green stuff started to squirm.

 

At night he was awakened by the silence that reigns in the house. Watson took the scalpel slipped on his Bathrobe and tiptoed into the room Holmes. In the middle of the room stood a giant flower, in one of the inflorescences was lying helpless Holmes and inflorescence slowly closed? Watson made a lunge, and inflorescence with noise fell on the floor. The doctor dragged Holmes for the door, and he entered into battle with an unknown monster.

 

Night Sherlock woke up from a strange sobs. Sounds could be heard from the bedroom of John. Sherlock stood up, pulled on jeans, took the gun and went to see what happened. In the living room John was not, although when Sherlock came back to himself, his buddy hard nozzles in the pillow. Sherlock climbed the stairs and opened the door. Giant shadows roamed the ceiling in the light of the lanterns. John was lying on the bed, pressed down many dark-red jugs. They uttered these strange sobbing.  
Sherlock with visible difficulty forced his way through these elastic bushes and pulled out another. John was unconscious. His chest and arms were flushed hickeys, and in some places the skin was abraded and bleeding. Sherlock took John to himself, took the entire stock of cigarettes and returned to the plant monster, generously fed him by nicotine.

 

Joan walked into the kitchen when he heard the sound of falling water. Was the hour of the night? Joan went to see. In the tub lay the large green plant, with visible pleasure, ate drunken Holmes.  
-I'm not going to save you, - she said, and closed the door, went to bed.  
\- I hate you, - Joan slammed the door.

 

The final

 

\- What was it, Holmes? - Asked pale and exhausted Watson, - and where Tonya? Does it eat this monstrosity?  
-Your Tonya was that monster, - said Holmes, - the mystery lay in her name.  
\- Don't we?  
\- Tonya Darling - Darlingtonia. Plants collection Sarraceniaceae Genus of carnivorous. The only representative of the genus - Darlingtonia California (Darlingtonia californica), found in bogs in Northern California and in Oregon.  
-My God, Holmes!- moaned Watson and lost consciousness.

 

\- Watson, what was it? - Holmes came to himself in the morning.  
-Well, - Watson slipped Holmes under the nose of a pointer plants, - watch who you fell in love...  
The bladderwort is fringed Utricularia simulans Pilger, perennial carnivorous plant species of the genus Utricularia) of the Bladderwort family (Lentibulariaceae) - read the Holmes - the Lord Almighty! So, Laria Pilger was a monster!  
-You are lucky, Holmes!

 

\- Watson, thank you, - said Holmes, weak-eyed squinting at each other, - and where Dion?  
\- Your Dion you almost digested, - said Watson, - I know who it was?  
\- No.  
\- Venus flytrap. Dionaea muscipula, is a species of carnivorous plants from monotype sorts Dionaea family Rosanova (Droseraceae).  
-My God! - Groaned Holmes, clutching his head, - this is a mistake on my part. Dion Palamos - Dionaea muscipula. A simple permutation of the letters! I'm so fucked up, Watson!

 

\- Sherlock, and why I was in your bedroom? - asked by John in the morning, - what happened?  
\- Your girlfriend you tried to eat a heavy sigh, said Sherlock, - you know, what was your Sarah?  
\- No.  
-Sarah Racine - Sarracenia Sarracenia, a genus of carnivorous plants in the family Sarraceniaceae...You fell in love with animated flower. And it happened because the lightning struck in the tank with some poison. I inquired this morning, - Sherlock yawned and fell asleep, leaning back against the edge of the bed.

 

\- And why am I covered in some green stuff? - asked in the morning Holmes had Joan, sitting near the door of the latter.  
\- Your girlfriend turned into a plant and you tried to eat, but died from indigestion.  
-It was a girl? - tried to object Holmes.  
\- Wanda Alldata - Aldrovanda vesiculosa (Aldrovanda vesiculosa), monotype genus of insectivorous aquatic plants of the family Rosanova. Aldrovanda vesiculosa the only modern species (Aldrovanda vesiculosa). There is also described a significant number of fossil species. That's what it was,- gleefully laughed Joan, - so you need.


	46. All red-pink with black stripes.

First

 

\- Holmes, what is it you are wearing? - Once asked Watson came down to Breakfast.  
-I could ask you the same, dear friend, - replied Holmes.

 

\- Watson, you strange look? - Holmes freely located on the poisonous red chair.  
\- Not bizarre you, Holmes, - said Watson, looking at his friend.

 

-What are you dressed that way, Holmes? -dumbfounded asked Watson.  
\- And you don't like it, Watson? 

 

-John, what are you wearing this?!- On the face of Sherlock was written deepest astonishment.  
\- Look at yourself, Sherlock, - he replied John, - that nothing is found in your wardrobe?

 

\- Watson You in your mind? - Holmes opened his eyes.  
-And you? - Joan squinted his eyes, - are also good.

 

Second

 

-But let me, Holmes, white underpants in a pink heart? Where did you get them?  
-I gave the WOMAN, but the red pants in black lace? Curious, dear friend, very interesting!  
\- This is the gift of Mrs. Watson! - said the doctor.

 

\- Since when, Holmes, you become a supporter of the red panties?  
\- Since then, as you started to wear black.  
-But who you gave them?  
-And you who?

 

-I know, but lace panties are not your style, Holmes.  
\- Who would say, Watson? - Holmes looked at his friend,- red boxers in black lace, you also do not go.

 

\- Black leather shorts? John, you frighten me.  
-Red Thong? I, generally, in shock, Sherlock?!

 

-Red lace underwear? - Holmes flowed drooling.  
-And you know THAT by wearing this trend, it is necessary to shave!?

 

Third

 

-You know, Holmes, - said hesitantly Watson, - I suddenly pulled in chemistry.  
\- And?  
\- You are nothing in me not to notice?  
\- Excuse Me, Watson! - Holmes even jumped up from his chair. And why was. At Watson on his head was a black hairpiece, eyes summed up, lipstick, and in addition to underpants - BLACK LACE CORSET.

 

-And you, still, this inattentive, Watson, - angrily said Holmes.  
-What is, - said Watson, - but the eyes to fail, it's already too!  
-I wanted you to like.

 

\- Watson, and Martha in the course that you have her makeup?  
\- And you, what is the difference Holmes?

 

\- I still have it, - and John pulled out from behind the black cap.  
\- I'm only a red Thong, - is regretting muttered Sherlock.

 

\- I like your style, Watson! Never thought you were so attractive!  
\- And to me your style is not to your liking, Holmes. But it's easy to fix, - and Watson pulled out a red whip.

 

Fourth

 

-OH! GOD! HOLMES!! NO, PLEASE! STOP!!

 

\- WATSON!! NO! NO! GOD! STOP!

 

-The DEVICE! WATSON, DON'T! I BEG YOU!!!

 

\- JOOON!!! NOT ONLY THAT!! NO!!! STOP it!!! NO!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!

 

\- VALSSON!! STOP!!! I BEG YOU!!! I WILL OBEY!!!

 

Final.

 

\- Else throw, Watson, - said Holmes, sitting by the bed Watson, - serve directly in the Bedlam.  
\- But why it was necessary for me to shoot? - said bandaged Watson.  
\- Cocaine you shouldn't steal! Understand? Still do I'll kill you!

 

\- Ass hurts?  
-It hurts, Watson, - said Holmes, lying on the couch.  
-And you really were flying from my penalty kick; - Watson smiled contentedly,- and will be the cocaine to smoke, so I have legs and will break.

 

-I'll remember, - mumbled Holmes, -why do you have my teeth pulled out?  
\- I can you chick-chick, - smiled Watson.

 

\- You tell me, why would he show IT?! Eh? - asked Sherlock to John.  
-Well, sorry, - scrutinize John, - I thought that Russian TV you will entertain...  
\- Now I can't sleep, - muttered Sherlock, - trying to understand who is the father of seven children of a young girl from the Russian village, where live only fifty men, of whom only five young men and she lives in a nearby village?! 

 

-In a calm state, you are much attractive, - said Joan, and went home, leaving the beaten Holmes lying on the floor of the living room.  
\- What a passionate woman! - whispered Holmes and disconnected.


	47. Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this drabble hidden a lot of movies and TV series, which starred Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Find can you?

\- John, I like to listen to your heartbeat, - once said Sherlock to his friend.  
\- Can't answer the same, - muttered John.  
The situation was complicated by the fact that they're both stuck in this narrow slits that for them, two of them, it was a mere disaster. They chased some Parkinson and Nathan Barley. These two bandits just cheated respectable old lady and Sherlock and John were next.   
\- I don't know, John, - said Sherlock, practically plastered to the brick wall, - the bandits were well-fed people and hardly climbed here.  
-You should have thought of this before, - hissed John, buried in a chest to the friend`s, - we will cut off the path! We will cut off the path! And here's the cut. Not there and not here.  
-I'll try to get out, - conciliation replied Sherlock.

After several attempts Sherlock managed to crawl out of the cracks, and then fell from the same John. Home came and Martha guests. Linda green is a former dancer, Margery and Gladys - two of friends there from the Chinese restaurant and Miss Jane Marple, an old gossip girl from a neighboring house.  
\- Boys! - Cried Martha, saw them a sad look, - where is it you are so smeared!  
-Work, Mrs. Hudson! - kept replied Sherlock and went upstairs.  
\- And you the letter came - Martha handed John`s white oblong envelope without a return address.  
John took it and followed Sherlock. While he washed and cleaned, John opened the letter and read.

\- What has happened? - Sherlock stared in surprise at his friend, who sat pale and looked at one point.  
\- Moriarty! - dropped John.  
\- And?  
\- He informs you that just returned from a trip to land's end. We visited a small island, where he found a field of gold and hills like white elephants. And he offers to play with you. At stake are the lives of London's inhabitants.   
\- I don't believe him, it's just an imitation game, and he always breaks the rules.  
-But, - said John, - if he starts to play in the major, it is unknown who may be affected?  
\- Look, - Sherlock sat down in the chair and began to ring the violin.

Morning came Mycroft.  
\- I have news for you, Sherlock! - He said, - come SMS – ‘next - Hawking".  
-I don't understand why steal a cripple? - Irritably replied Sherlock, - he is useless anyway.  
-I took action, -Mycroft looked at his brother, - and I hired a respected, kind, people, and commanded them to secretly protect all who might threaten Moriarty.   
\- Let me guess, - grinned Sherlock, -Darren Brown, Fargo, Simpsons, Stewart...  
-You're perfectly correct, brother, -coldly said Mycroft, - but I want to hire you.  
-I the government do not work, - snapped Sherlock.  
-As you wish, but if you want to save friends, I cannot go, - and Mycroft had left Baker street.  
-Your brother, why come? - asked John, descended from above.  
\- Tried to hire me, - Sherlock defiantly fell on the sofa and closed his eyes.

All day on the phone Sherlock received a very strange message.  
\- "this morning was strange, isn't it?", "hammer for punk rock" and many others.  
In the evening came a very big message: "the world's pub will be only men, but it is expected cultural show. Be in the know," then stood address. John still had not come home from work and didn't answer calls, and Sherlock began to worry. So thinking that most likely John fell into the hands of Moriarty, Sherlock quickly gathered and went to the address.

 

This homely came establishment. The Windows are dark, and the door opened. Sherlock walked in. It was long and went into a small room. The ceiling was a flash of light, and the voice Moriarty said:  
\- Rules of conduct in the electric cinema. You're sitting - I show. If you at least will move, your friends will come to an end.  
The light went out. Appeared on the screen associated Greg. He sat in the chair and blinked from the bright light. Then the light caught the three - Mycroft, John and Anderson.  
-Is four lions. They are put on explosives, and they have to kill of the last king, forgive me, Queen of Great Britain. It will be branded Armageddon, and I get a blank crown. But you can do a small favor to one of them and save it; the rest will be to complete the task. Choose.  
Sherlock looked at the faces of people and tried to control the excitement that gripped him. The choice was, but there was no choice. If it will save one, the other will perish. Whom to choose? John? Greg? Mycroft? Anderson?  
\- I choose... John, - said Sherlock.  
-I thought so, - on the screen of John unleashed, was released from explosives and pushed out the door. John appeared in the hall, blinking from moving from bright light to darkness.  
\- John! -Said Sherlock, - come here.  
He walked over and awkwardly sat down in the chair.  
-What happened, John?  
-I stole directly from the hospital...  
-SHUT up! - A loud voice Moriarty came, - I'm not finished.... Now you're going out with her friend and go home. If you at least will move in the direction of the Palace, my sniper would shoot through the heart of your friend.  
-I understand, - replied Sherlock.  
Home arrived quickly. John went into the bathroom and Sherlock sent a cloud SMS to their agents. John emerged from the bathroom. He looked depressed.  
\- Moriarty told us that he was abducted by aliens,- John sat on the couch and began to dry her hair,- and now he is preparing an invasion with the help of all those whom he found hitchhiking through the galaxy.  
-I see, - Sherlock went and washed and came back to each other Sat next to him.  
\- Moriarty has clearly gone mad.  
\- Your brother remained with Moriarty and Lastread; -he reminded John,- and about Anderson I'm not saying.  
\- I gave the task to his agents, - said Sherlock, - I fear for your life, so I Baker street can't move anywhere...  
\- And the lives of others?  
\- Most importantly - you!

The next morning at Baker Street Lastread. As soon as he was in the apartment, he immediately pounced on guys:  
\- Are you type up steep ? What are you both doing? Crazy You?  
\- You found on the outskirts of the Palace, has removed from you the explosives and brought me here, and you are still dissatisfied indignantly replied Sherlock, - yet will live here In the bedroom, John.  
-And John? -asked Greg.  
\- And this is my business.

To the dinner appeared Anderson Closer. But he did not stay long. John shoved him out the door before he could even open his mouth. In the evening came Mycroft.  
-Who are you, Sherlock!? You are God? No. So why do you think I can dispose of the lives of others!? As you have lives? Ten? No, one and one brother! We're inseparable!!!! And I will not stay here!!! - Mycroft turned and left.  
-I on the sofa spend the night, - said John.  
-Good, - Sherlock was very depressed.  
All spread to the bedroom. 

At one o'clock, John discovered his neighbor next to him.  
-What are you doing here? -whispered John.  
-Sleeping, - he replied.  
\- You have your bedroom has...  
\- There is scary.  
-Okay, - John lifted Sherlock and led him into the bedroom. Laid her down and sat down beside him.  
-Go to sleep, - but Sherlock pulled John's hand and he was next to Holmes.  
-What are you doing? - John tried to slip away, but was caught hands Sherlock.  
\- Stay. Stick will not. I just want to kiss you...  
\- Shamenys, Sherlock, - John was scared.  
\- In this life only have one real love and it's you! With you I feel amazing ease, and you bring into my life the magic!  
\- Sherlock! You know, it's kind of unexpected! - John was confused and could not clearly explain what was happening to him. After this unexpected recognition, Sherlock was exhausted and her John in the shoulder, and fell asleep. Then in the arms of Morpheus failed and John.

 

Morning Greg said nothing, because he came out of the bedroom after the magic words:  
\- Breakfast!  
-What do you do? - asked Greg.  
\- Will you, Graham, and I have my part done.  
\- Greg, - said Lastread Sherlock`s, - and what would I do?  
\- Bombs bookstore in black, in the same office unless you know where, "Funny Showcase", in the shop of antiquities.  
\- Clear. I will use your phone, John? - Greg began to ring and Sherlock called Mycroft:  
-I have read the report of Kolber, interesting things happen. Moriarty lives in the house, the window overlooks the courtyard, and he conceived purely English murder.  
\- Who?  
\- No idea. That you will do.  
\- And John?  
-Because John will look inspector.

Sherlock had left after Breakfast and returned only in the morning. Drinking tea and snack biscuits, gone again. And when he returned, he found at home Moriarty.   
\- End of parade, Sherlock! - Screamed Moriarty, - you blocked me all the moves, and for that I will kill the old Hudson, and then you.  
But the insidious plans went awry. The door burst John and Greg.   
-You mixed me all the cards! You, the government pay money! And you have two trunks! But I will not give up! Good night, Sherlock! - And pulled the trigger.  
But John was not going to be a silent witness, he jumped and pushed the stunned Sherlock, - you're our last enemy! And Sherlock will not give up! - shot him.  
Bullet from a gun Moriarty struck the ear of John and stared at the wall, and the bullet John got Moriarty in the shoulder. Greg deftly twisted villain and pulled out the door.  
\- Thanks, John! - Sherlock wrapped his arms around his friend and felt his heartbeat;- I love beating of your heart, John.


	48. Creative depression

\- Holmes, and you would like to live forever?  
\- Watson, Yes we live forever, - said Holmes, - though we are not vampires.

 

\- Watson, you are someone reads?  
\- Nonsense, Holmes, - said the doctor,- as long as you've read.

 

\- Holmes, what do you read there?  
\- Your notes Watson.

 

\- John?  
\- What is it, Sherlock?  
\- What is this you wrote this?  
\- Nothing special, Sherlock, nobody reads, so you can remove it.

 

\- Watson, why don't you write about me?  
\- Not deserved it, Holmes.   
___________________________________________

-Friendship no, - said philosophically Watson.  
-What are you, dear friend? -asked Holmes.  
-The friendship between man and woman is impossible!  
-Why?  
\- Because it means love!

 

\- Love no! - Once said Holmes, - and friendship is.  
-Why? - asked Watson.  
-A woman asks for your money, and the other - never!

 

-Friendship no love no! - said Watson.  
-Why? - asked Holmes.  
-Because, there is a mutually beneficial partnership. Thou art I and I am you.

 

\- John?  
-Mm?  
-And friendship exists?  
-Of Course, Sherlock.  
\- But love?  
\- Yes.  
\- And our relationship with you? What is it?  
\- Clean open friendship.  
\- But the people we love are credited with...  
\- To hell with them, - John smiled and rubbed his cheek against the top of Sherlock`s, -is our friendship pure and selfless.

 

-And you love me, Watson??  
\- No.  
\- And my friendship to you?  
\- No.  
-And the partnership?  
\- You would go, Holmes, damn it!!!


	49. Charming horror stories

\- Holmes? And Holmes?  
\- What are you, Watson?  
\- And let's kill someone.  
\- Watson, what's wrong with you? - Holmes is concerned stared into the face of Watson.  
-To kill someone like that - sadly said Watson, - although I have already.  
-Oh! And who is this? - Holmes pale.  
-Our housewife.

 

\- Watson? And what are you to me so strange looking at?  
\- Yes here I think, - replied Watson, -one of the sections you have enough or need more.  
-What do you mean?  
-In the sense that I have to kill you now!

 

\- WATSO..., -hoarse cry Holmes turned to sob. Holmes grabbed lacerated throat. But in vain Thick blood poured through his fingers and ran down shirt Holmes.   
-Look, what die hard, - said Watson, wiping the scalpel dress Martha, quiet cooling on the floor.

 

\- John? What are you doing? - Sherlock tried to escape, but John firmly strapped friend to the kitchen table.  
-Shut up.  
\- John? - Sherlock craned his neck, trying to understand what John is booming When he saw something that he didn't like.  
-Sorry, Sherlock, - John went to the linked each other, tore it shirt and precise movements, cut out his heart, - Jim paid me.

 

\- Watson, why the rope?  
\- For you, Holmes, - kindly said Joan.  
\- Why But?  
\- Sorry, Holmes, Irene paid me for your death, -and Joan jerked Holmes on the rope.


	50. In the forest she was born...

\- What is it, Holmes?  
\- Telegram, my dear friend, - said Holmes, - is read.  
\- "In the forest Tree was born. Help, please,"- read Watson, - the poor woman. What happened to her that the birth occurred in the forest?  
\- Is and we have to learn, Watson.

 

\- Watson? Where are you going? -asked Holmes, seeing his friend, frantically collecting things.  
Watson handed another telegram: - "In the forest of Larch was born. Help".  
\- I am with you, Watson, -Holmes developed a feverish activity.

 

\- Holmes, where are you going?  
\- To help, - said Holmes, linking things.  
\- To whom?  
\- Pine,- and Holmes gave Watson the form.  
\- "In the Pine forest was born! Help!"- Read Watson, - fine, I will go with you.

 

\- Sherlock? What happened? - John came to Baker Street and found a feverish activity.  
\- In the forest was born Silver fir, John! There is a criminal abortion! It will be interesting! Are you with me? - Sherlock rushed through the apartment.  
-With you, - replied John, - where are you without me?

 

\- Watson! Where are you going?  
\- Criminal abortion, Holmes!  
\- Where? When? - Holmes rubbed his watery eyes.  
\- Was born in the forest Cedar! See? Somewhere in the forest freezes a little kid!?  
\- I am with you!   
____________________________________________  
-What do you say? -Watson, dressed in a warm coat, with his mouth open listened to the Forester, - the Blizzard she sang the song?  
\- No matter how it was too late, - murmured Holmes, too warmly dressed and wrapped in a warm scarf - frost snow wrapped up? Baby Poor.

 

\- As you say, Blizzard she sang the song? - Holmes, dressed in a warm coat, knocked his pipe on the nearest branch.  
\- Frost snow wrapped up? - Said Watson, - we have to hurry.

 

-If Blizzard and frost worked on the poor girl, we hardly save!- Holmes warm jacket raced through the snowy woods.  
-But I will have a showdown! - Happily puffed Watson.

 

-Was slender and green? - Asked Sherlock, swaddling the face of scarf - fast...  
-The Blizzard she sang the song? Frost snow wrapped up? - John thought, - someone engaged in child prostitution.  
-We will find those who mocked the girl.

 

-Poor baby, - Joan shook her head, - green, slim Vagrancy.  
\- His adoptive parents, - said Holmes,- the Blizzard he sang the song. Perhaps foster mother. Father The frost. They have Slavic roots.  
_____________________________________________________________  
-You understand, Holmes! - Exclaimed Watson,- in this forest are wild animals!  
-Yes Watson,- the great detective ran ahead, not taking his eyes off the magnifier, - hares and wolves.

 

\- We must save the girl from the evil wolves! - Watson slipped and fell into the snow.  
-No problem, - Holmes raised the other.

 

\- There’s a trace of hares and wolves, - Holmes looked around.  
-Where is the corpse? - Resentfully asked Watson.

 

\- Zoophile! Sherlock!?  
-Yes I already understood, - said Sherlock,- Silver fir under rode? Poor girl.  
\- Wolf yet?  
\- Frightened the poor child. Article - abuse of minors.

 

\- Hares people not to eat? - asked Holmes.  
\- No.  
-And wolves?  
\- Yes.  
\- Save the child from the wolves!  
__________________________________________________  
-We were too late, Holmes! - A faint voice said Watson.  
-You are right, my dear fellow, - Holmes looked around, - I see the traces. We should go for him.

 

-We came too late, - Watson wearily sank into the snow.  
-Come, Watson! I see traces!

 

-WHERE IS THE CORPSE!????- Watson shook Holmes.  
\- He was taken,- Holmes looked around, - let's go over the tracks.

 

\- Child was abducted! - In horror he whispered to John, - we were too late.  
-Come on traces, find it, - said Sherlock.

 

-The boy disappeared?  
\- Late, - said Joan.  
-We'll find them, - he comforted her Holmes.  
______________________________________________  
\- Mrs. Hudson? -Holmes and Watson stared at chic fluffy Christmas tree standing in the middle of the living room.  
\- Merry Christmas!  
\- Thank you.

 

\- Mrs. Hudson? What is it?  
\- Larch. Merry Christmas to you!

 

\- Martha? What is it?  
\- Pine, dear! - Martha smiled at the man, - merry Christmas you and Mr. Holmes too!

 

-Mrs. Hudson!!! What is it???  
\- Fir. Greg brought. Merry Christmas, boys!  
-Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.

 

\- What is it?  
\- Cedar, Holmes. Look how fluffy and slender. To you Merry Christmas!  
\- Thank You, Joan.


	51. Christmas erandawana

-Dear friend, you are a sheep! -said Holmes.  
But Watson did not take offense, he only belatedly surprised by the insight of his friend.

 

-You moron, Holmes! - hissed Joan Watson, putting a drunk Holmes for the door. Well if Holmes came drunk, so he had brought with him three of the same drunken prostitutes.

 

\- Moriarty such a goat, - complained Holmes Watson`s, - even to foul may not, without having to Stink.   
\- Milk it, Holmes, milk, - melancholic said Watson.

 

-Your Martha is a real sheep! - Angrily said Holmes Watson, - bleats and bleats the whole day, tired already.  
-Let go of my wife! -Cried Watson, - she, of course, is a fool, but she's my bitch!

 

\- Sherlock?  
\- Yes?  
\- We at Baker street only goats were not enough?  
-What are you? - Sherlock deigned to get up off the couch and found the living goat.  
-Who sent you?  
\- I have no idea, - muttered John, - not that Martha like sheep all day bleats. And you act like a real goat, and even normal goat was added.  
-I'm not a goat, - replied Sherlock.  
____________________________________________________

-Today for dinner only every grass, - sadly said Holmes.  
-Why? - asked Watson.  
-Because the year of the Blue Sheep, dear friend, and sheep are herbivores!

 

-How fortunate,- thought Joan, sitting at the table in the living room and looking through a glass of wine, festive,- "I will mention the New Year in peace"

 

-And Moriarty me all money paid! - Boasted Holmes, - was not such a jerk.  
-Where to now?  
-In the restaurant, doctor, you with me?  
\- And Moriarty?  
-And he was drowned.

 

-Here, Martha, sheep, - and Holmes handed to the wife of Watson sweet little creature.  
\- Holmes! You beauty! - Martha jumped on his neck and a loud kiss.  
\- Martha?!   
\- New Year dear! - Martha slyly smiled.

 

\- With the new year, Sherlock!  
\- Happy New Year, John!  
Bumped glasses and drank.  
\- Goat in white wine excellent, don't you think?  
\- A little bit harsh.  
-Sorry, that goat was called!  
\- Nothing will improve.


	52. Bayu - Bauska-Bayu

Don't lie you're on the edge

 

\- Holmes! - Dissatisfied hissed Watson, - don't push!  
-I am sorry, dear friend, but your bed is too narrow and short, I just don't fit, -said Holmes, -and you yourself invited.  
-Well, Yes, - said Watson, - once in your room burst pipe and you blew up the living room.  
\- I'm sorry.

 

\- Holmes, not roll, - said through clenched teeth Watson, trying to fit on the narrow couch.  
\- You to me in a tangle, doctor, and why are you staying with me?  
\- Because someone managed to blow up my house! - Watson was greatly moved his thigh, and Holmes nearly fell off the couch.

 

\- Holmes, moves! - Watson was busy.  
\- So I'm on the edge of a lie, - began to justify Holmes.  
\- Move over, and then I throw you out.  
\- I have nowhere to go, - cried Holmes,- is more charitable.

 

\- Sherlock! What are you doing?  
\- Trying to sleep.  
\- In my bed?  
\- Well done, John! If in my room broken window in the living room flying flakes of soot from the ceiling, and Martha has locked him and did not let me.  
-Go to sleep, quietly.

 

-Get out of my bed! - An icy voice said Joan Watson.  
\- No, dear, - in a tone she replied Holmes, - the whole apartment is filled with foam and covered with soot.  
-Then sleep on the half of the bed,- Joan moved to the left.  
-I want next to you.  
-I - NO!  
_______________________________________________  
Holmes and Watson quietly slept on his back, arms outstretched on top of the blankets. Between them was a decent distance.

 

Holmes decayed in his sleep, and the doctor did the same thing. Leg Holmes rested on his chest Watson and the right hand of the doctor met the eye of Holmes.

 

Watson disintegrated on the bed, speech now Holmes on the edge. Edge of the bed unnecessary noise the one quietly Nozzles without creating clutching the.

 

Sherlock has Hugged John and slowly breathed him in the neck. John was snoring into his pillow, not paying attention to Strong hands Sherlock.

 

Joan was bundled up in a blanket and putting pillows in case of harassment. And Holmes, left without blankets and pillows, got under the sheets and fell asleep.  
________________________________________________  
Come greyish top

 

Like a pale Ghost appeared Martha Hudson, she undressed, put on her nightgown, cap and passing through Watson, sitting comfortably between Holmes and Watson Went to sleep.

 

On the threshold of the room seemed to Irene Adler. She slowly undressed and dived between Watson and Holmes. Warmed, she quickly fell asleep.

 

Martha Watson came into the room, undressed and Shove Holmes into the open arms of Watson lay down on the edge. Both to the far edge Went to sleep while he wrestled pushed.

 

On the threshold of the room appeared Mycroft. looked around, pursed his lips, undressed and went to bed, after putting between him and Sherlock umbrella.

 

Into the room burst into drunken Lastread, led eyes he climbed on the bed, Hug Holmes and hoarsely began to snore.  
________________________________________________  
And will bite for a flank.

 

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! - Watson in one direction, Holmes in another.  
-Mrs. Hudson! What are you doing?  
-Sleeping,- yawned the old woman.

 

\- Watson! Is it you?  
\- I thought it was you?  
-Who is it?  
-Oh! This Is Irene!  
\- Holmes, Watson! Let's sleep,- displeased said Irene, turning to the other side.

 

\- Martha?!  
-Go to sleep, husband, - yawned Martha.  
-But, Holmes?  
\- Treat it like a pillow.

 

\- John? - Whisper said Sherlock, - in bed someone there.  
\- We...  
-Anyone else, - Sherlock looked back and uttered a wild cry, fell off the bed.  
\- Mycroft? - was surprised sleepy John.  
\- I sleep; - muttered the elder Holmes, - don't touch my umbrella.  
\- While he's here, I sleep on the floor, - the frightened said Sherlock.  
\- Catch a cold, I will lay beside you, between you, - said John. 

 

\- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! DRUNKEN LESTRADE!- remnants of the night Holmes and Watson spent on the floor.


	53. Sherlock wakes up in a world of their desires, where his husband Watson

\- Holmes! Now give me the phone!  
-Go, my dear fellow, - Holmes swiftly stood up from his chair.  
\- You can't smoke, - persisted Watson, - and as your husband forbid you to do so!  
\- Since when, Watson, you have become my husband?!  
\- Ever, as the people wanted.

 

\- You will no longer smoke opium, - is monotonically said Watson, - starting today, you are prohibited from drinking, Smoking opium and dragging behind women!  
-What happened, doctor?- Holmes looked surprised.  
\- Since that day I officially your husband, Holmes! Your bachelor life is over nothing. You will eat oatmeal and drink fish oil - Watson disgusting chuckled, - I will make of you an honest man.  
-How horrible, - Holmes fainted.

 

\- Holmes, where are you headed?  
-To Lastread, - is anxiously replied Holmes.  
-You will not go anywhere! - Resolutely stopped him Watson, - is your task for today is to bring our house in divine form, to wet cleaning and cook dinner!  
-But, Watson, - - began to argue Holmes, - is working for Martha.  
\- Wake up, Watson, what, Martha?! I am your husband and you are my wife, and the place of the wife in the house and in the kitchen.  
-But I'm a MAN!?  
\- The way slasher inscrutable.

 

\- Sherlock! Quick Breakfast!  
\- John? What the hell?!  
-My dear fellow,- COO John, leaning over Sherlock`s and quietly away from the table test tubes and racks, -you need to eat well, my favorite and you are very slim that people will think?! 'll think I'm bad food!  
\- John? - Sherlock looked up from the microscope and looked at his friend, - what's wrong?  
-Dots thou not remember? We're officially husband and wife. Forgot?  
\- NO! - Sherlock jumped up from his chair, dropping him, and stared at John,- how? Why?  
\- Sherlock, stop fooling around, - displeased said John, - Breakfast is getting cold. And while you tightly not singing, I'm not going to kiss!  
-Jesus! - Sherlock rolled his eyes and slid down the wall.

 

\- Holmes! Quickly cleaned the house!  
\- Watson! You I do-then who? - Holmes focused look.  
\- I am your mistress! Today, - is gleefully smiled Joan, - almost your husband!  
-Oh! What a nightmare! - Holmes sobered up.  
_________________________________________________  
On Baker Street Morning.

\- Watson, I had a nightmare!   
\- Yes?  
-As if you were my husband!  
\- You've overworked, Holmes, and you need rest.  
\- How to tell them, dear friend.

 

-I need your help,- with a confused said Holmes, appearing in the study of Watson.  
-What is it, Holmes?  
\- I dreamt that you were my husband...  
-I told you, Holmes, opium Smoking can lead to no good.

 

\- Sorry, Watson, that you are not a psychiatrist, - sadly said Holmes.  
-Why?  
\- I had a dream that you are my husband.  
\- Have a bigger problem, Holmes.

 

\- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
\- Sherlock!! What happened? - John ran into the room Sherlock.  
\- Nightmare, I had a nightmare, - panting, said Sherlock.  
\- What? Calm down and tell me.  
-You became my husband!- exhaled Sherlock, - God!  
\- This is the case you thoroughly finished; -John brought Sherlock water and lay back, - go to sleep. No more nightmares you won't dream.  
-Thank You, John.

 

\- Joan? Joan!  
\- What happened?  
\- I saw that you became my husband,- Holmes stared at Joan appeared.  
\- Drugs and alcohol will lead you to a mental hospital ever did, - said Joan, and left.


	54. BECOME SHERLOCK HOLMES.

Well, the slasher and other residents living in this resource, not whether you want to try yourself? The mysterious crime to uncover? Those who want to start, and those who have already flee - good riddance.

 

0

You Wake up in his apartment from a call on my cell phone. Taking it into my hands - the unfamiliar room. You drop a call, put on buzz luck and go to bed -(40) Take the phone and with terrible curses begin to fire person - (15) Ask who's calling - (25)

1

You arrive at the murder scene. Your actions - proudly and arrogantly walk around the crime scene, without giving a reason to doubt you (13), rush with a magnifying glass at all a little bit interesting (5), begin to abuse Lastread, what the weather is cold and there was no reason to pull you into this golodryga (39)

2

Finally, evidence collected, and you with the expert go outside. He says his name is John Watson, and it would be nice to have Breakfast. You say, - cedes through his teeth that you are not located to Breakfast, especially with such a suspicious type (10) what do you like to meet him and gladly agree (29)

3

John does not give much pleasure, but lets you in the house. You conclude with John the agreement and you go to (45)

4

On the way home, you again change their decision and return to the café, but John had already left, and you go to Scotland Yard (7)

5

You have collected all the clues and enter the house. On the floor lies a naked black man in his fifties. Three gunshot wounds, two in the chest one in the head. You begin to feel sick, and you run out the door (17), happily verema, rush to the corpse (22), begin to swear that the corpse is not covered and covered in blood (33)

6

You find John just beaten under Tower Bridge. He's delirious and says that he loves you. You write off this unexpected recognition of delirium and dragged John's home (16)

7

In Scotland Yard Lastread gives you a dossier on the deceased, the materials of dissection and address John. You grumble, but take it all and go to (3)

8

You worry repentance and confess to Lastread that John kidnapped (11)

9

John comes and says that he saw the elusive killer, and that he kidnapped him. You offer to call Lastread (27)

10

But Watson you Ulleval and you go with him, but at the last minute changes your mind and goes to (37)

11

Lastread says he will help. After the corpse is taken away, you are with the inspector go in search of John (38)

12

The next day you move to Watson, and you begin together to investigate the crime (45)

13

Lastread, not stand your conceit, and drives you, and you, having lost all his arrogance, trudge home to (40)

14

The drunkard suddenly jumps to his feet, and you feel the cold steel from under the ribs. You still have the strength to pull a knife and shred the drunkard in the face. The drunkard runs away, and you're feeling the heat creep up to the house (18), serves and lose consciousness (43)

15

Obateru caller, throw the tube (40), try to find out who is bothering you - (25)

16

Home John wakes up and again repeats that he loves you. You shout at him and Bang the door (42), comforting the poor and begin to tie John (9)

17

You still bluesy behind the door and nobody know how long it lasted, but it seems expert and says that it would be nice to have Breakfast; you begin to feel sick even more. Lastread, taking pity on you, sends you home (40)

18

John is horrified, bandaging you, and calls Lastread (41)

19

And here's the evidence found. You and Lastread are racing for the killer (21)

20

Lastread convinces you, but you say that he will catch the killer (24)

21

Killer arrested. You take well-deserved praise (44)

22

You will find that next to the corpse is a man, it measures the body temperature, you grumble mumble (35), greet him (2)

23

Unknown swearing and starts to run away, you run over them, and you fall from a ladder straight to the feet of Lastread. Lastread grins and congratulations on the capture of the elusive killer.(44)

24

You find a killer after a hard chase, and passing into the hands of justice. You sheepishly accept congratulations, (44) but you're worried about John.

25

Calling inspector Lastread and asks you to come. Committed the murder. Are you saying you are not interested and put the tube (40), joyfully crying into the phone and ask for the address (1)

26

You engage in a battle with the killer. He hurts you, you're his, but here's the killer caught, justice triumphs. (28)

27

John replies in the negative. Then your arm and sit next to John. At the bottom of a door slams, and someone quiet steps can be heard on the stairs. You discharged a revolver at the door. (23)

28

Lastread congratulates you. But you say this is all nonsense and the merit belongs to Lastread (44)

29

You have Breakfast in a local cafe, and John tells you that he would have neighbor, and he is one apartment will not pull. You are outraged and away from the cafe (4). Agree, saying that your relatives you got, and asked for the address (12). Start to flirt with John (32)

30

After a few steps, you stop and go back to (14)

31

You find a new body a young white woman. She is completely naked and lying on the bed. Three gunshot wounds you begin to regret that you did not go to look for John. Lastread asks about Watson. You say that John is sick (8) that John stole (11)

32

What John says he is not gay, you agree to(12)

33

Still indignant, begin to examine the corpse. You don't judge, and you loudly require him to remove (35)

34

Lastread calls you and says that they found the murderer. You say that you'll stay with John (20), we see that John is better and going to Lastread (26)

35

The expert does not go away, and you reluctantly stay with him (2)

36

You're going to Lastread and tell him that we must finish with this. Lastread agrees. You are closed in the morgue and try to find the missing evidence (19)

37

You run around London in search of the murderer, but you are not lucky, and you go to (7)

38

You find John. But he's insane. You take him to the hospital. In the hospital you say that John needs long-term treatment. You nod and go (36) remain in the hospital next to John (34)

39

After you had a fight with Lastread, you go home (40)

40

You, alas not Sherlock Holmes. Goodbye my nedogadlivyj buddy.

41

Lastread catches the murderer and happily calling you, but you're wounded, and you do not praise (44)

42

You go outside and not come across a corpse. On close inspection it turns out that it's dead drunk type. You're going home (30), try to help the drinker (14) 

43

You find Lastread. He says that John caught the murderer, because the wounded type came for treatment. Lastread praises you, but you're not to praise. You lose consciousness (44)

44

Congratulations, buddy, you did not disgrace the honor, and became a real Sherlock Holmes!

45

In your hands all the clues, and you have selected to the elusive killer, but suddenly kidnapped John. You go look for John (6), or ignore it and go to a new place crime (31)


	55. A forgotten grave in the cemetery

1  
\- Holmes? What happened? - asked Watson his friend.  
\- Old case, - said Holmes, thoughtfully sucking up.  
\- And you need my help?  
\- Yes.

***

\- What are you doing, Holmes?  
\- Tear the grave, - said Holmes, standing in a deep pit and waving her shovel.  
\- Got a warrant?  
-No, but...  
\- Stop It, Holmes! - said sharply Watson.

***

\- What is that smell, Watson?  
\- Is not stinking. This is me at the opening of the coffin was brought, - carnivorous Watson smiled, - a couple of weeks after the funeral, the police had doubts.  
-I see, - Holmes withdrew and wiped his glasses.

***

\- What do you want from me, Sherlock? – Mad John.  
\- Install, how died this child, - Sherlock was very calm.  
\- Can't you?  
\- I can do it, but I want to hear your opinion.

***

\- Joan? Joan!  
\- What else?  
\- I'm a dead body on the street found.  
\- And?  
\- Install, as it died, and I'll call the police.

2

\- Holmes, says that the child died in an accident...  
-But the evidence, Watson, indicate criminal intent.  
-But how do we prove it, Holmes?

***

\- What are you going to find in this grave, Holmes?  
\- Wickedly child, Watson.  
\- And the result of the autopsy?  
\- Yes, but I don't believe him.

***

-The child died from injuries to the cervical vertebrae caused massive, but with a sharp object,- is dictated Watson, examining little boy's body eaten by worms.  
\- The axe? -suggested Holmes.  
\- No, something and large massive more.

***

\- The baby died from a fracture of the cervical vertebrae...  
\- He was beheaded, John.  
\- And what? -snapped Watson,- a fracture is obvious. Have to figure out who and what.  
\- And why?

***

-Poor baby,- Joan looked around the poor thing, - go outside, Holmes, and find his head...  
\- Well.

3

\- Mrs. Terrible, explain me one thing.  
-What is it? – Over Holmes looms large and massive woman in a lurid and colorful dress..  
\- As your stepson managed to die?  
\- It's none of your business, Mr. Bloodhound.

***

\- Andrew Terribly, - read Watson on the tombstone.  
-His stepmother, his father and his sister-in-law live in East London.  
\- Let's go out there and talk, - suggested Watson.  
\- Good idea, -admitted Holmes,- I only now the coffin out.

***

\- The body you've seen, let's go to his house, - suggested Holmes.  
\- Let yourself, Holmes. You're a detective.  
\- And you?  
\- And I'll look further, that of the corpse can be removed.

***

\- Smart street, 230.  
-What is that? - wearily asked John.  
\- The address where this kid lived. Will you go with me?  
\- Yes.

***

-Here's his head, Joan.  
\- Call the police. We will seek.


	56. A forgotten grave in the cemetery

4

 

\- So we, dear friend, do not know, - said Holmes, finding himself behind the doors inhospitable home.  
\- So what are we to do? – Anxiously asked Watson.  
\- Ask a pivot baby sister. Madeline Terrible.  
-Where is she now?  
-Is poised to return from Sunday school.

***

-Tell me, dear, - said Watson at a thick untidy woman of forty years, - you – Mrs. Terrible?  
-Well, what do you want, mister, - unpleasant squeaky voice she said, - I already forty years as Maddie Scarlett Terrible...  
\- Don't tell us what happened to your stepson? - got in a conversation, Holmes.  
-Ah! Bloodhounds arrived! – Bad voice yelled the woman, - now come here, and that go away with a rolling pin.  
-She was obviously hiding something, - said Watson.

***

-Is with you what is it? - asked Watson.  
\- Conducting the interrogation of the mother of the dead boy, - with dignity Holms answered and spat out a handkerchief molar tooth.  
-Come here, I'll handle it, - said Watson, - what is it you so?  
\- With a rolling pin, -said Holmes, - she's hiding something. I figured it out.  
\- Martha I'll send. Women love to gossip.

***

 

\- "Bad, alcoholic, suffers from depression and manic psychosis”, - thought Sherlock, glancing at the woman who opened the door to them.  
-Who are you? - Thickly she asked.  
\- You Mrs. Terrible? - Posted John, adding to him, - "Yes you need therapy, honey!"  
\- Well, I - hiccupped woman, - you got cash?  
-Suppose,- drawled John.  
\- Give money - all talk, no money – fuck off!  
\- We dare? - John looked at Sherlock.  
\- Yes.

***

 

\- The boy ran away from the orphanage! - happily shared the deduction, Holmes.  
\- Yes, taking his head under his arm, - skeptical handed it to Joan, - most likely, killed a child in the orphanage and thrown into the street. Take photos and start looking.  
\- No problem, Watson.

 

5

 

-I want you to confess, - the little blond beautiful creature fearlessly approached the detectives.  
\- Who are you? - asked Holmes.  
\- Madeline Terrible. I killed my brother, - and the girl burst into tears.  
Holmes began to calm the girl.  
-He was sitting on the porch and was holding an Apple. I approached him and asked him to break off a mate. I said nothing, -cried the girl, - I went and told my mom. And she advised me to hit him on the ear. I did just that. His head fell off!

***

 

\- Uncles, - from behind the door looked out the dark-haired girl of about ten years, - go here. I'm going to say something.  
\- What's your name, baby? -asked Watson.  
\- Maddie. I killed brother,- big brown eyes filled with tears,- he had an Apple, I asked. He didn't answer. I pushed him, and his head fell off.

***

 

-Children – this is happiness! - cooing Martha.  
\- When they own, - said Mrs. Terrible, - and when they are strangers, the eye would not see.  
\- Well, if they are cute...  
\- Yes, that's my stepson. Sweet boy was until he was dead.  
\- God!? - Martha pressed her fingers to her mouth, - how?!

***

 

\- ...and then one day came the little fucker to me and says "Mommy, give me an Apple", and I have a chest in the kitchen, and there's a lot of apples lying, I have cider persecuting. I told him the trunk was opened and say, "Pick one." And the edge of the trunk I have iron-studded. But I digress, and boom... the trunk Lid shut.

***

 

\- Look, a woman runs.  
\- The woman at the orphanage, which we just visited.  
\- Lets follow her, Holmes!

 

6

 

-You, girl, not guilty! -said Holmes, - Watson, call the police. We will take the girl's mother. She is a killer!  
Brilliant, Holmes!

***

 

\- Watson, calls the police! I know who the killer is.  
\- Who?  
-The mother of this girl.  
\- I hope you're right, Holmes!

***

 

\- ... it got hit by the trunk lid, and completely cut off his head.... I was dragged outside and thrown into the street, and then I thought, and was buried in the cemetery in the empty tomb. And now I feel good.  
\- God, what you say horror.

***

 

-And the little bastard is dead, -the woman laughed hoarsely, - now given us your cash.  
\- We are forced to call the police, - John said. Sherlock was already near the chest, and his thin fingers flew, feeling the cover.  
\- Where's my money? -the woman asked.

***

 

\- Where to run? - Holmes surpassed middle-aged woman.  
\- In the Bank, - gasped the woman.  
\- Late to the Bank. Child knows? - Holmes handed the woman the photo.  
\- AAAAAAA! - The woman shouted and rushed to Holmes.

 

7

 

\- What the devil's gotten into this woman? -asked Watson.  
\- Hate is a terrible force, Watson, - Holmes sat in his chair and Smoking his pipe, - to kill a little boy in this way. World In this Scary to live.

***

 

-Holmes, what is it? Boy’s head by the trunk lid to cut off a? What is this world coming to!?  
\- I don't know, Watson, - Holmes sat in his chair and smoked opium.

***

 

\- The mother killed him, or rather, stepmother! - From the doorway shouted Martha.  
\- Holmes, calls the police!  
\- Get her red-handed! -cried Holmes.

***

 

\- I don't know where the world is heading; - John sat in his chair and stared at one point.  
\- I don't know, - Sherlock stood at the window, - she's a mother,- sighed heavily, - is irresponsible.

***

 

-Yes I killed him! Killed! - Squeal woman, riding on the pavement, - he was so cute! I hated him so, and killed it with his chest!  
-My God, - Joan cried, her face buried in the chest of Holmes.  
\- Totally agree, - he answered.


	57. Three men, women and Sherlock

BEGINNING

 

\- God, Lastread! – Watson was inspected two perplexed men on my doorstep,- what happened?  
-We threw the baby,- said Lastread, handing Watson a basket.  
\- And this man who? - Vigilantly asked Watson.  
\- Father Holmes. The child returned to the temple...  
\- And I hear what place?  
\- You still have a woman in the house.  
\- Okay, come on, Watson, you missed guest. Appeared Mrs. Hudson, she over the baby and began to dispose of. Watson went to buy the bike, Lastread is milk, and the father of Mycroft Holmes took up the crib.

***

 

\- Lastread? Who is this? - Watson vigilant and looked at the kid standing beside the inspector.  
-Poor girl, she came to Church, - said Lastread, - please take care of him.  
-Good,- replied Watson, took the kid by the hand and entered into the house, - Mary!!! I need your help.  
Mary, seeing the little rags, immediately took him to bathe, and Watson has sent for new things.

***

 

\- Martha, who is this? - asked Watson, coming home.  
\- Our little helper, - said Martha, putting in a plate that faced boy of ten years.  
\- But who will contain? - Watson sat down at the table.  
\- We will, he eats a little, but runs real nice.

***

 

\- Mrs. Hudson, who is this? - John asks, coming home one night.  
\- My nephew, - replied the good woman.  
John stared at nephew. Boy of sixteen years watching him closely Skinny tall dark-haired.  
-OK, so it did not climb.

***

 

\- Here's to you, Joan, are a new patient, - said the doctor, - someone called Holmes.  
\- He only eighteen!? -Cried Joan Watson, flipping through a map, - and he and psycho and schizoid!!  
\- Unlucky, - replied the doctor.

 

MID

 

\- Mr. Watson!! - Mrs. Hudson grabbed the doctor and cried.  
\- What happened?  
\- Baby Sherlock has been kidnapped!  
\- WHO? WHEN? HOW?  
\- I for the milk went into the kitchen, - cried Hudson,- is back, the basket was empty.  
\- Find! – defeated Watson.

***

 

\- Baby Sherlock someone stole it!!! - Cried Mary, - we went to choose his new clothes, and someone stole!!!!  
-We'll find him, honey, - reassured her Watson.

***

 

\- Sherlock disappeared! - Taken aback Watson Martha, when he came home from work.  
\- Ran away, probably, -said Watson,- so extra mouth less.

***

 

\- John, fined my nephew, -cried Martha Hudson, - he's so unfit.  
-Okay, okay, - John waved the old woman and called Greg.

***

 

-Holmes ran away!!!  
-Where?  
\- Hell if I know, leave it to the police... 

 

The FINAL

 

-I am your father, Sherlock, - tall and thin man in a black coat holding a baby in her arms, - and will raise you a second criminal mastermind. 

***

 

-Baby, I'm your father,- is a huge type in a bear coat bent over a little serious, a little old boy, - stay with me. And you'll be the most famous criminal mastermind in the world.

***

 

-Sherlock – you will become the most famous criminal mastermind, - the man in the blue round glasses looked at the boy, - if I wasn't Moriarty.

***

 

-Oh, you're sweet, - a little black-haired type with empty dirty look gently stroked Sherlock's cheek, covered with soft down, - hold on me, my son, and I will show how to rule the world!

***

 

\- I - the Lord of the world!  
\- I'm your lady! - whispered to herself a little woman, - I – Irene Adler / Moriarty – your mother and I will show how to rule the world!


	58. Brazilian passion on Baker Street.

\- My dear boy! Come here, I have something to tell you.  
\- What is it, Aunt Martha? Did something happen?  
\- My dear Sherlock, I want to tell you that I am your mother!

-My God! Aunt Martha!? How do you know? Why were you silent for so long?  
Isn't everything, my dear son! You have a brother. Native and his name is Mycroft.  
-It can't be!!! Or mom Martha Aunt Martha?! Visiting us every six months to my brother that arrogant bald people?!

-Wait, my son, that's not all that I have to tell you. Your father was a very sweet person, and I loved it. But he died. And I, a weak defenseless woman with two children, was left alone. I made you into prestigious boarding schools and found her another man; we lived with him for five years, and from him I had two more. You have a half-sister, my little Sherlock, and stepbrother. Irene and Jimmy.  
-God! It is not true! Tell him that you lied!!!

-But I'm not done yet. After their father left me, I met a policeman named Greg Lastread. We lived with him for a very long time, and I have had two charming little girl – Molly and Mary.  
-No!!! This can't be?! Why did you lie to me? All with whom I spoke, were my relatives??!!! And… John?  
-Error tumultuous youth, he is also your brother!!!!  
\- NO!!!!!

Here is the answer why Sherlock jumped off the roof.


	59. Owls are not what they seem.

\- Holmes! Where you walked all night?  
\- None of your business, Watson. Choose somewhere to go, and then ask!  
\- Your coat splattered with blood! You got into a fight?  
\- Better take a look at yourself, dear friend! Your pot thoroughly soaked in blood! And I went to bed, -Holmes went to his room.  
\- "Holmes is clearly hiding something”, - thought Watson, - "Rather, he just night killer... a Copycat of Jack the Ripper. Amateur. After all, Jack the Ripper it's me!"

____________________________________________________  
Holmes

You, Dr. Watson,  
Help me!  
Just a penny  
In my pocket!  
Lying around!

Watson

I can only feed,  
But the money I will not lend!  
Go you into the kitchen  
And eat!

Holmes

My brother dying  
Oh, for pity's sake, for God's sake!  
And let me  
Pounds forty or fifty!

Watson

(Instructing Holmes revolver)

You either eat  
Either you money  
Will not help to avoid  
Grave Little Cozy.  
I kill hobos  
Quickly Very.

Holmes

(Running away)

Damn!  
I could not  
To deceive him!  
And to shake out at least a hundred pounds  
His food!  
Well, you're lucky  
With other  
Fools!

___________________________________________________________  
-Watson, as you looks at the overthrow of the Queen? -asked Holmes.  
\- But personally I am not cold, not hot, - replied Watson, picking his teeth with a scalpel.  
\- Let's share. I overthrow the government, and you get the Queen!  
\- Live?  
\- Undermined.  
\- Oh, what a joy! Holmes, lead me to a brighter future where I am under every Bush waiting for fresh corpses!

___________________________________________________________________  
Sherlock

 

Reveal I  
The skillful hand  
And Facebook, and Instagram!  
And I shake my  
Everything from there  
Drinking what Mr. Putin?  
What Obama eats!  
In any shorts   
Home   
Goes Merkel?  
Who drinks and eats,  
Farts  
Pukes –  
The computer gives me!

John

You have long time to kill!  
And bury in a land of raw,  
And only computer   
Hoist  
Over you!

Sherlock

Relax my friend!  
Let me order you some food  
Restaurant  
Tokyo.  
Or maybe you  
Want to go to the Opera?  
At La Scala  
Today - Tosca.

John

I'm bored with your look  
You throw  
On the PC!  
You don't look at me  
So lovingly!  
You all earned,  
Spend on it!  
Die!

Sherlock

(Clutching a bleeding wound on his head)

How can  
John  
You hacker  
The keyboard to hit?  
And strike  
Then   
Unit System?  
And you dented it!!  
Dented!  
You're a fucking  
A psychiatrist!

__________________________________________________________  
\- Damn, -Holmes sat at the table and positively profits, - Joan, could you tell me the new drugs?  
\- My girls are still times all scared, - Joan sitting in a black kimono, drinking tea,- finish their disassembly in my brothel, do it the competition!


	60. Tale

The uncut forests, scorched fields, horizontally that worked on the energy of the dragon and watch him, Kosher the deathless, there was a tower. And it uninhabited Silo. But if from this tower five kilometers off-road through the swamp and a half rotten that in warmer years were dry to the bottom and started to burn, because at the bottom of the peat was lying there in a wet - spread two kilometers, there was a tower mossy. Yes so terrible and cracked the stones in her sometimes glowed with a ghostly light. 

And lived there indescribable beauty. The silicones Breasts lush, rounded ass be taken, narrow waist – two ribs with two sides removed, the legs are long, the size of the foot 66. And eyebrows too Hair extensions eyelashes Nails latex each one meter. A pretty mouth ripped. The eyes are large surgically enhanced. And for this beauty robots cared, because no shit, and neither to wash nor could a beauty that is indescribable. And then the nails can be broken.

How old is she, anybody plainly and did not know. At first glance, was sixteen, but with the same success could be fifty, seventy, and frogs in the swamp whispering that all two hundred, but who's frogs marsh asked.  
Her robots out the window in the evening and pulled. And put indescribable beauty your bust in a size eight on the window sill, on top of lush lips and shied away from it, even marsh mosquitoes.

And one day the Prince returned to the lean horse and the ass Konagi was left icon "Dodge" and the right "Jaguar". And hooves were Golden and covered with Swarovski crystals. And the Prince himself was skinny in clothes from Yudashkin, and in her hair from Zverev.  
And joined the Prince in the castle and rushed to the indescribable beauty. And she pressed him to her breast, and ruptures of the implants and sagged Breasts right up to his knees. And he took over her ample ass cheeks, and they spread in his hands and bared thigh. And kissed the Prince's beauty in sugar lips, and pulled away lips, and gasped the Prince. And then the beauty died, because the old was she, and terrible as the mortal sin.

And the tower was burned by a short circuit.


	61. Indecent tale

Over ranges, over the seas was one peaceful state. The inhabitants of the Kingdom were good people, loved to cuddle, kiss and every hour of the day from the bushes voluptuous moans were heard.  
Government the king and Queen and these nice rules And could Queen to conceive an heir. As the king was not the king to the Queen, what repurchase its main public body is not covered with ointment is not smeared... all for nothing. And commanded the king: - "Who is an heir to the Kingdom will bring, for that much money!" The Minister then main and so on until the last swineherd and entered the main bedroom of the Queen. But here the king has failed.

And then the angry king and imprisoned the Queen in the tower high. And he commanded to no one to the tower did not fit. Sat there for Queen nine months and give the king long-awaited heir. And who is the Queen and the government was kind, remained unclear.

And all three days feasted, and under every Bush a voluptuous moans were heard.  
And began to grow crown Prince, and with it grew the second state body. And Prince turned sixteen, and his jade rod of one meter length. Because walking was uncomfortable, and pants to put on and also And then the troubled Prince? And outside it didn't want to deal with him worse no girl in the Kingdom. Scary and you suddenly break up?

And Prince went to a sorceress. And to the second state body on the ground while walking not pursue, was coined by a special truck. And then came the Prince to the old woman says.  
\- Woe to me, grandma. And I don't know what do I do?  
Looked sorceress, fingered and answers:  
\- I'll give you a bubble. Drop – off you will be involved.  
The Prince and replied:  
-Is what I myself fucking will be?  
-No, - said the sorceress,- the will you go for the high sea and low mountains to the tall mountain to the Palace of the Princess Jasper. And you will have happiness.

The Prince and went. And it lasted for a long time and used the whole bottle. And sees, stands a huge mountain. Using the jade baton and raised Prince on it. Was there a Palace, a cave similar, and entered the Prince there, and met him there Princess Jasper. She was tall and thin, only her hips were lush. And she said:  
\- Come into my chambers, Prince.  
And the Prince made a penetration in Jasper cave. And thundered, and the lightning struck. And bounced Prince and lost consciousness and when he awoke – he is okay in proportion, and the Princess was so beautiful that the Prince was inflamed by her love instantly.

The Princess Jasper Then said:  
\- Has freed me from the curse of the great sorcerer. Lived this sorcerer in a certain state, and he had a magic wand. And gave birth all women, and worked with all men, and the state prospered. And after three hundred years, the wand stopped working, and conjured sorcerer. And again began to flourish in the state, men to give birth, and women to work. Three hundred years after another. The wand stopped working, and all the magical things did not help, and then he put a curse on one woman and one man. Curse destroyed but now you.

And played the wedding and they lived peacefully and happily for many years


	62. A case of murderous mushrooms.

\- Holmes?! What happened in the city? - Watson burst onto Baker Street.  
\- What is it, dear doctor? - Holmes looked up from his study of the newspaper.  
-The city was dead!  
-No, Watson, just London captured bloodthirsty boletus, - he calmly answered.  
-Is Moriarty! -Cried the doctor, - we must save the city.  
\- You are quite right, my dear friend, -Holmes sprang to his feet, - take this basket and a knife. We are on mushrooms.

***

\- Holmes, since when do you smoke mushrooms? -asked Dr. Watson.  
\- Since then, as these cute toadstools grew up in the city, - he answered, puffing on a cigarette.   
-We must destroy this hotbed of infection, - is pathetically exclaimed Watson, - for your health!

***

\- Watson?! What are you doing? - Holmes stared in astonishment at the doctor.  
\- What does it look like?  
\- You brush the mushrooms! - flashed the deduction Holmes.  
\- I REVEAL, Boo-ha-ha, - laughed ominously Watson.

***

-We're off to pick mushrooms, - Sherlock frantically going, - you don't know where Martha baskets are?  
\- Why do we go to pick mushrooms? - puzzled asked John.  
\- We have an invasion of giant Borovikov, Graham is asking for help.  
\- No problem, Sherlock, I agree.

***

\- Joan? You smeared? Is that blood?  
\- Yes, Holmes, it's blood, -evil said Joan,- I tried to save people, attacked by giant Russia...  
\- How can this be, Watson? You were Smoking?  
\- Unfortunately, no. Will you help me?

______________________________________  
\- This is the case, Holmes, for us was a bit unpleasant, - said Watson, sitting at the dinner table and send in your mouth slice of grilled mushroom.  
-Of course, Watson, - Holmes cut a magnificent slice of mushroom pudding, - week you will not be able to walk, because the fungus broke your ankle,- and I suffer from headaches, and sadly touched his bandaged head.  
-But we have freed the world from predatory boletus.  
-It's true, and I would without your help has failed, my dear friend...

***

-It had some incorrect toadstools, - shook his head Holmes,- and they were given the wrong bugs.  
-Well, we destroyed all of that shit; - tried to comfort him Watson.  
\- Will have to return to opium, - said Holmes, and lit it.

***

\- How did you open them all, Watson? - Astonishment asked Holmes, rich smell of roasted mushrooms.  
-And just, knife chick-chick, and we're ready, - Watson smiled, and began to pick his teeth with a scalpel.

***

\- It was a strange thing, John; - Sherlock was sitting and scraping upon his violin.  
-Right, - agreed John, - but we now have just unlimited stocks of dried mushrooms.  
-These were retaliatory sanctions of Russia, - mournfully remarked Sherlock,- but the great harm they brought.

***

\- Never thought that such fragile Russula? -said Holmes, contentedly looking around Wall Street, littered with a thick layer of crushed mushrooms.  
\- These mushrooms just didn't know what drunk Holmes driving a truck is just a beast, - said Joan.  
\- You asked me to get drunk and get stoned! -said Holmes.  
-And good marksman may miss...


	63. One day in the life of cupids

\- Today you're having a tough day, -spoke the gray-haired angel, - you must unite loving hearts! Come on and get the list and arrows.  
____________________________  
-John, do you understand the task?  
-Just so!- Little blond angel got her bow, arrows and a list will work out.- No doubt can be.  
\- Holmes, here are your tools and list. Bother to perform.

***

-I'm right, -Watson, vigorously waving his wings, flew away, heading for the sun.   
Holmes ducked into the clouds and it soon appeared over the city, the sky which was covered with smog. Holmes sneezed and looked at the list  
\- Martin Smith + Jane Odric! We'll see. Ah here it is. No, this is not even worth an arrow to spend. Materialistic greedy, stingy, rude, loves himself and mom. And here is Jane. A tramp a lover of absinthe and opium My God. No, no. No love.  
Holmes flew on.  
_______________________________

-John, where's your partner?  
-I don't know, your archangel, -shrugged the blond angel, - well, I flew?  
\- Wait, I think it found.  
In the hall appeared the angel that low fiber Cupid with dark hair.  
\- Your archangel, smoked angel dust near the gate of Paradise!  
\- Holmes! -Blustered the Archangel, - so this is the last time! Here are your arrows and fly!

***

-My God, Holmes! Why do you always fall over on its side?  
\- Not finished, -grinned Holmes, - but I have a bottle left.  
\- I'm leaving you, try not to screw up.  
-Who do you take me for?! -said Holmes.  
_______________________________________

\- Holmes! You mission is clear?  
\- Is extremely, - low Cupid in round glasses carefully examined the arrows.  
-And you, Watson, independence it’s not a show, okay?  
\- Everything on the list.

***

\- You have a strange inclination to Cupid, - said Holmes Watson.  
\- Nothing much, - Watson did lean face and dived into the clouds.  
____________________________________

\- John. Here are your arrows. The order understood?  
\- That's right. To work Ready.  
-Sherlock. Are you ready?  
-Of course,- tall, dark, curly-haired Cupid reached, -I want the wings to stretch.  
\- That's nice.

***

-I flew, Sherlock! I'll meet you at the gates of Paradise.  
-Okay, - Sherlock dived in layered clouds. Beneath him stretched a glittering city.   
\- Will start to work on the list. Martin + Jane. Hmm. He is a gamer with experience, she is a librarian. So, let booms that girl, she's also a gamer. The deed is done. Flew on.  
__________________________________________

\- Joan?  
\- Yes?  
\- Here are your arrows.  
-Thank you.  
-Where's your partner?  
\- Ragweed is drunk.  
\- Well, you can fly.

***

\- Holmes! It's unbearable!  
\- Is all right, Watson.  
\- You're drunk!  
\- What else can we do?  
__________________________________________________________________________  
\- Holmes?! How can?! In the list of 26 thousand names! And you worked only eight?! How does that work?  
\- They were not suited for each other, - said Holmes, puffing on a pipe.  
\- Marriages are made in heaven! - thundered the Archangel, - and not for you to challenge it!  
-Well, reconsider their decisions.   
\- You're fired!

***

\- HOLMES?! Are you crazy!? What are you spending boom!? In the list of 26 thousand names! What do we get? The first two arrows you spent on the corner of the house and the pooch! Second - the tramp and the bench! Third - two dogs! We don't make dog weddings! You're fired!!!!!

***

-Jesus! What have we done? What are these arrows, Watson?! Oh, they have no tips! God, instead of tips on them scalpels!!! What are you doing, Watson?!  
\- Record, died of love, - said Watson, playing with an arrow in his teeth.  
\- All 26 thousand people?! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

***  
-Sherlock, you today, of course, worked out well. All arrows spent. Not only there. Now thanks to you, the world will be on the 26th of thousands more same-sex couples. What can you say?  
\- I get done with him, - stood up for it John, - we will work out fire training.  
\- Well.

***

 

\- YOU SOLD ALL THE ARROWS? – staring at Holmes, said the Archangel,- why?  
\- The dose is not enough, - he answered.  
-Your fired!!! - Quietly said the Archangel.


	64. Thinking out loud

The sky is grey.   
The branches black Gnarled against and the sky.  
Look at the sky...  
Look at the trees.  
It seems that a bitch want to take you, to squeeze, to not let.

Look.  
The trees are grey, sluggish...  
Interesting.

 

Leaves underfoot a carpet of.   
Yellow, red, Golden, Golden, silver, green, brownish to brown spots, brown with black stains, black...   
Thick like a carpet of leaves.

Sit on the carpet.   
The wings spread out on top of the carpet.   
Sit.   
Look at the sky.  
The sky not to become friendly.  
The sky doesn't want to become friendly.  
But I do not lose heart...  
I smile.

 

I should just take off.  
And then the grey sky turns to blue.  
And forest green.  
When will I fly?  
I don't know.  
Fly when you want.

Me somewhere someone is waiting.  
Believe.  
Hopes.  
Who are you, my unknown friend?  
I will arrive.  
Only when?  
I do not know.

 

Lean back and drowning in the carpet of leaves.  
The sky is overcast.  
And starts to cry.  
And then smiles.  
Multicolored rainbow.  
Forest smiles too.  
And green.  
Now I can fly.  
Is happiness!  
Mine!  
Personal!  
Happiness!


	65. Wave

Sea.  
Wave.  
Sand.  
It's all very soothing.

Wave incident on the beach.  
And rolled back.  
And again accumulates.

Sitting on the Bank.  
Relax.  
Think.  
Meditate.   
Remember your loved ones.  
Of faithful friends.  
About what is happening.

If I close my eyes.  
You will see them next to each other.  
If I open my eyes.  
They are next to me.  
They are gifts of fate.  
I love them.  
And ready for them at all.

No matter what I sometimes tearing pain.  
No matter what I just want words of support from them.  
It doesn't matter.  
I have to forgive them.  
They don't have to.  
Tell me  
Words of support.

I love you all, my good.  
We, the cats, take the pain of others.  
And forget about yourself.  
And our pain lives with us.  
I want you all to be happy.   
I fade and maybe I will change soon.  
But you need to live happily.

Waves lapping on the shore.  
And again go to sea.  
And I sit on the sand  
And I dream about you, my favorite


	66. Love fever on Baker street.

1

Mr. Holmes woke up early and went to the living room. On the mantel were Valentines. Holmes took it and began to turn. «Card to me This Valentine's Day. From that woman”, - thought Holmes,- "but why. This is such nonsense. And this is from Mrs. Hudson. Watson. Poor Watson. And this is from Watson. Me. I? No, Watson, there is something unusual. And here's another. From Lastread... me again. No, I will not stand it. We need to understand!"

Holmes sprang to his feet, put Valentine on the dining room table and began to pace the floor.   
The outer door slammed and in walked a large basket of red and white roses.  
\- What is it? - Authoritatively said Holmes.  
\- A gift, -replied the messenger, - he paid.  
For messenger was Watson.  
\- How to understand it, dear friend? -said Holmes, pointing to the phone on Valentines.  
-Surprise! -cried Watson, and at the same moment to the living room burst into a multitude of people.

The party on the occasion of Valentine’s Day ended with a General fun and drunk within the hour.

 

2

\- Mary?! You're a married woman!? Aren't you ashamed? -yelled John Watson on his wife.  
She was sitting on the bed in the pile of flowers, cards and boxes of chocolates. Satisfied and happy.  
\- Receive gifts from strange men??!!!  
-Mr. Holmes is your best friend, - said Mary, - and if you, sir, are not able to provide his wife with gifts on Valentine's Day and I do not mind.  
-Ah, Ah,- and Watson slammed the door.

3

\- Martha! - Watson stood in the doorway of the room and gazed thoughtfully at his wife.  
-Yes, my dear, -said Martha, - what happened?  
-I wanted to congratulate you with St. Valentine's day, darling, - Watson smiled and handed her heart.  
-Is it whose? - Cautiously asked Martha, looking out over a small steaming heart, oozing dark blood.  
\- Your LOVER! - Roared Watson, - is the heart of Holmes! And now I will kill you!

4

Sherlock in the morning found on the coffee table, the pile of Valentines. They were all addressed to him. From Greg, Anderson, Donovan, Molly, Martha, Irene, Moriarty, and even from... Mycroft. But Valentine from John was not...  
"It's interesting”, - thought Sherlock, lying on the sofa, -"why all wrote Valentine, and John? He does not feel to me any emotions? It's a shame".

\- Sherlock! - In the room come Martha,- I brought you some tasty biscuits.  
\- Mrs. Hudson, where's John?  
\- I haven't seen, - Martha shrugged and put the tray of biscuits between Valentines.  
\- Sherlock! - appeared in the doorway Anderson and Donovan, but they pushed Greg, - how are you?  
\- What are they both doing here?  
\- Came to visit, why?  
\- John has anyone seen?  
\- No.

All the people who sent the Valentine but John and Irene After an hour in the room were. Sherlock walked, ate scones and left home to find John.

5

\- Watson, where's my Valentine? - asked fairly taken Holmes  
-’s okay, - Joan slammed the door.  
\- Today is a holiday - sadly handed Holmes and sat on the porch.  
\- "When will it carry?"- thought Joan, looking out the window, - "tired I am, asshole".


	67. Love Saturday night fever

-Mrs. Hudson went mad; - pale Watson was sitting in the living room.  
\- What happened?  
\- I went to my room, and there Mrs. Hudson in a nightgown and a red ribbon in his hands.  
-Half an hour ago she was in my room, - said Holmes.  
-God, today is Valentine's day! - slammed Watson himself on the forehead.  
\- Thank God, but the old girl still need help.

***

 

\- Holmes!? What is it with you? -Watson stared at the detective.  
-What?  
\- How you behave strangely, - Watson began to retreat towards the door.  
\- I – Cupid! - Cried Holmes, - and I will put you in an arrow in honor of Valentine's Day!  
\- I don't need it! - Watson slipped out the door.

***

 

Watson came into the room and froze. Martha was lying in a lace corset, net stockings, with a red rose in her teeth.  
\--My maniac! - Voluptuous she hissed, trying to attack her husband.  
The scalpel dropped from his fingers Watson and clattered on the floor.

***

 

\- John? -Sherlock stared dumbfounded at his friend, - what?  
\- Sherlock, - languidly said John. He lay on the bed; on it were only red tape that crossed the body of John in a chaotic manner.  
\- You're out of your mind,- with fear but with pity said Sherlock, walking backwards to the door.  
-Come here, - voluptuous John whispered, reaching out for Sherlock's hand.  
Sherlock hurried retreat.

***

 

\- Joan, - naked Holmes appeared in front of Watson, - happy Valentine's day, honey!  
\- Go to hell, - Joan began to smell the robe.


	68. The case of the white rose

Start.

\- Holmes? You are a little scattered today, - said Watson, delicious Breakfast, - and judging by your inflamed eyes, you didn't go to sleep... What happened?  
-Yesterday evening I got a telegram, -he answered, pouring himself a coffee,- from Lord Churchill.  
\- And what?  
\- Lord suspects that his wife has a lover...  
-But, Holmes,- said Watson, - you do not handle such cases?  
\- Not taken, but I still have nothing to do. So gather round, dear friend, the train leaves at twelve.

***

\- What is it, Holmes? - Watson went to his friend to check if he was okay, and collided with Holmes on the doorstep.  
\- Lord Churchill there is reason to believe that his wife got a lover! - In the same breath said Holmes, - are you with me?   
\- But you do not handle such cases?  
\- Not taken, - philosophically Holmes sighed, - but money in the opium over.

***

-Is where are you going, Holmes? -Watson stood, leaning against the door jamb, and thoughtfully tinkering with a scalpel in his teeth.  
\- Lord Churchill hired me to investigate about the change! – Proudly said Holmes, adjusting his glasses, - so I'm on my way.  
-Then I am with you, -Watson came unstuck from the jamb.  
-But there's no one to open?! - Embarrassedly said Holmes.  
\- We find, - defeated Watson.

***

\- Sherlock? What happened? - John had never seen each other so excited.  
\- Lord Churchill asks for my help, -Sherlock smiles, - it's not too complicated, but we were invited.  
-Oh! - Astonished, John, - come on, then, such a person cannot wait.

***

\- Holmes? What are you looking at me?  
\- I think, Watson, I think.  
\- About what?  
\- Why the President has a problem. He thinks that his wife's lover appeared.  
\- Let's tackle this thing! - Joan smiled, - will help the country that you are sheltered and tried to cure.

The plot

-So, your lordship argues that to your wife and it walks? - Holmes leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes; - we found only the petals of the white rose.  
-I hired you!!! Yelled, - the owner of the castle, - is exposed to this vile villain!  
-Don't worry, - Holmes opened his eyes, - I need to think. And Dr Watson will go with you to your spouse and try to find traces.  
-Okay,- haughty said Lord Churchill, rising from his chair and adjusting his cuffs and tie.

***

\- No need to yell! - Painfully twisted, said Holmes, - the evidence – a handful of petals of a white rose. Your wife either knows nothing, or chooses to remain silent.  
-But, - Lord Churchill was flushed, - is hired to help you solved this riddle.  
-All in good time, - Holmes pleadingly stared at Watson.  
-My friend is tired, - stone-face said Watson, - he needs to rest, and I will deal with the evidence.  
-Good, - Lord Churchill trimmed silk robe and stood up from the chair.

***

\- A pity that it is impossible to dissect living people, - said Watson.  
-Well, - Holmes, not listening to the cries of Watson, crawling around the room, collecting the clues.  
\- What did you find? - Anxiously asked Lord Churchill.  
\- A handful of petals of the white rose, -is readily answered Holmes, showing loot.  
-In the garden I have is not growing, - the Lord began to think.  
\- Will you let us know, if you recall? - Holmes looked at the Lord.  
\- Yes, of course, - he replied.

***

\- What do you say Sherlock? – John looked at each other, occasionally glancing at the old bloated Lord Churchill and his young wife.  
\- What do you say? The rose hips fresh, forest, garden is not growing, broken two days ago, - Sherlock turned to a married couple, - you, Lord, it would not hurt to check the pressure, heart, pancreas and liver. And your wife could use some fresh air.  
-You will desire to mock, sir? -hissed Lord Churchill.  
\- You look, -said John, - I as a doctor can confirm the diagnosis of Sherlock.  
\- Fuck you. - a married couple turned and followed into the house.

***

\- I'm in the White house! -Holmes looked inadequate, so the conversation was led by Joan.  
\- So, the white rose? Clear. Night? Day? Wow what a bold!?  
-Might not be the wife of the President climbed, but to someone else, - said Holmes, - is a monster who hardly attracted.  
-HOLMES!!!! - shocked cried Joan.  
-I'm a fool! Sorry! -Holmes went back on his word.

Of The culmination.

\- Holmes! I see something! -whispered Watson faint voice.  
\- Yes, to lady Churchill's someone here, - Holmes slightly changed position.  
They Watson sat on the branches of a huge oak tree and watched the Windows of the castle.  
\- The wife of the Lord changes him? - Watson gasped.  
-So it seems...

***

\- Holmes! Do you see it? - Watson did not hide his excitement.  
\- See, - he said to Holmes, - what a cute young boy. The gardener's son.  
\- Why?  
\- Love is evil.

***

\- Let's scare them? -suggested Watson.  
\- Why? - did not understand Holmes.  
\- They will be frightened, will die... and I will open, - Watson was excited beyond measure  
-You planted? No, - Holmes rejected this proposal.

***

\- Sherlock?!  
-You see, John,- Sherlock fascinated by watching the action of a young lady and the young gardener,- the leaves fell on the windowsill, on the floor fell shawl...   
\- It has to stop!  
-We will go now.

***

\- Joan?!  
\- Yes?  
\- In the oval office someone just passed!  
\- Let's follow him, Holmes!

Interchange

Holmes and Watson ran into the room. Gently kissed by the window turned to them Scared lovers who. And then sounded two shots merged into one. Lady Churchill quietly slid down to the floor. And the guy dropped the flower hips, instantly color in red color, and collapsed on the windowsill.  
\- Who was shot? - Holmes ran to the window and a sharp eye saw the driver, who raced to the fence. - Watson. You stay here, I am for a criminal.  
\- Well, Holmes.

***

\- Late! - Watson rushed to inspect the body.  
-We heard the shot, - muttered Holmes.  
\- Here and run back to where the shots were.  
\- Moment, -Holmes turned in the doorway and ran for the killer.

***

\- My favorite cute little corpses, - Watson swung the scalpel, - run, Holmes, a criminal, and I'm here to work.  
\- And suddenly they are alive? -asked Holmes.  
\- Will be alive and will not reveal, - said Watson, and went to the first body.

***

\- SHERLOCK!!! -John literally pushed each other under heavy fire, struck the room. Lady Churchill and her friend were killed instantly, torn from a machine gun. Sherlock was not injured and John got into his troubled shoulder.  
\- Hold on, John, - Sherlock waved each other near the wall, looked into the room where the pool of blood and scattered petals nestled two dead bodies, gritted his teeth and rushed outside.   
Little sports helicopter quickly gained height. Sherlock began to shoot from the gun. The helicopter began to smoke and sank behind the forest line.

***

\- Joan!!! Be careful! - Holmes pushed Watson, and bullets stabbing him in the chest. He dropped like a rock.  
\- KILL THE PRESIDENT!!!!! - Joan yelled, trying to get Holmes out the fire.

The final

\- Sorry, Lord Churchill, your wife is dead, her lover, too, but nothing was defaming your name. The murderer was your chauffeur. He, unlike your gardener that cared for your wife the most romantic feelings, wanted Lady Churchill physically.  
\- That's interesting, Mr. Holmes, -sadly replied the Lord,- but the case is closed. My Secretary will give you a check.

***

\- Your wife was bored, she gets herself a fan, - Holmes sadly looked at Lord, - and the killer turned out to be your chef. He's long and painfully wanted her ladyship.  
\- The swine! - Lord knocked on the table, - but your case is over. A check will be sent by mail.

***

\- Bullet in the heart of the guy. Through. Bullet in the head of a lady, -Watson was happy.  
\- Who is the killer? - Sadly asked Lord.  
-Is your Valet, - he answered, somehow moving his swollen lips.  
\- Why?  
-He loved your wife, wife loved gardening...  
\- What a pity.

***

\- What do you say?  
\- What do you say, Lord, -Sherlock looked at the customer askance, - you killed your wife by hiring former Special Forces, and hurt my friend.  
\- You can't prove, - Lord Churchill grinned and drawing his revolver, shot Sherlock. But then suddenly appeared MI6 agents, twisted Lord and just disappeared.  
-Sherlock, is you okay? -asked dumbfounded John.  
-Yeah, - Sherlock replied, not understanding what happened.

***

\- Joan Watson! For courage in saving the life of the presidential couple of the United States, we award you the Purple Heart.  
-Thank you.  
\- Mr. Holmes, the award will be presented after he gets out of the hospital.  
\- And for him too, thanks.


	69. On the verge of suicide

\- Watson! Lift up my eyelids!  
\- Holmes, and you are not insolent? Then lift up the phone, ever! - Angrily hissed Watson, - maybe something else is required to raise?

***

Tea is ready to drink if you please  
I took Sherlock's coat  
Sherlock drank began to turn green  
not that.

 

***

-Holmes, what are you doing?  
\- Hang On, Watson!  
-But why the belt?!  
\- Choke.

***

-Watson, cut me! -Holmes clung to her doctor, tearing his shirt.  
\- No problem, Holmes, - Watson pulled out a scalpel.  
An hour in half.  
\- Holmes? Holmes? - Watson leaned over the detective, - hmm, not breathing. Cut Weird Only Three Carotid femoral and subclavian of the. Don't understand.

***

\- Heat is you, Sherlock? Heat is you clever?  
\- Hot, Mrs. Hudson. And why was I in a fireplace put in?  
\- And my secret ingredient required for balm....  
\- What ingredient...... - Sherlock's voice was fading away and, - what?  
\- From the ashes, my good man, out of the ashes... 

***

\- Joan!? – The voice of Holmes was full of indignation, - WHAT is THIS?!  
\- Benedict, meets Holmes.  
\- Are you the actor? He's married?  
\- He came to me!

***

Eat, my precious!  
Dream May you.  
Edge The far.  
White glades,  
Blue sky,  
Earth The green.  
And meadows of poppies,  
Hemp garden  
Eat, dear Sherlock,  
Open your mouth.

***

-Hey, Ben, don't bother me.  
-But, Mick, you can't do that!  
\- Why? You three put me in an uncomfortable position Horrible... And that would be evil I was.  
\- But that's no reason to jump into the Thames with a stone about his neck? - Said Ben, - now Arthur and Sherlock will drive to dissuade you and us.  
\- Yeah. Especially Artie, -bitterly Mick laughed and stepped off the bridge.

-Is my sunshine, - Artie pulled Mick`s to one side.  
\- This is my Sparrow, - objected Ben and pulled in another.  
\- This is my Teddy bear, - Sherlock pulled in the third.  
And Mick was knocked out cold, swallowing of Thames water. And he was deeply given a shit.


	70. Leaky hut brain

\- Holmes, and Holmes?  
\- What is it, Watson?  
\- And give me your phone, - he would ask a doctor.  
\- Dear friend, it is my last, - replied the great detective, - the remaining fans pilfered.

***

\- Watson...  
\- Yes? What happened, Holmes?  
\- I have gone five sacks of raw opium!  
-No, Holmes, has not disappeared, it's Lastread confiscated in favor of the state.  
\- What?  
\- Holland, Holmes.

***

\- Holmes.  
\- Watson?  
\- You stole my scalpel?  
\- No, no, - Holmes leaned against the wall.  
\- It's a pity that not you -said Watson, - I wanted you to open it.

***

\- Sherlock, are you going to wash?  
\- No!  
\- And gone to bed?  
\- No!  
\- What do you do?  
\- Fanfiction read about us.

***

-Holmes, you went to sleep...  
-No, Joan, - Holmes gave a wry smile,- I want to invite you to the cinema.  
\- What?  
\- 50 shades of grey.  
\- What kind of hints, Holmes!?


	71. Night Door

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, dear friend, what happened?  
\- Someone at the mistress stole all products all pig with horseradish, jellied fish and a bag of oatmeal?  
\- As you have guessed, Watson. It was a dog.  
\- Of the Baskervilles?  
\- No, it was Basque the dog.

***

\- Holmes...  
\- Yes?  
\- You have a new business?  
\- Yes.  
\- What?  
\- Somebody stole from the safe Lastread cherry pie.  
\- Yes?!  
\- He was involved in the case of poisoning.  
\- So, I see that I have such a stomach ache...

***

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, Watson?  
\- How do you like dinner tonight?  
-Excellent, Watson. Martha outdid you today. Where did you find such a tasty liver?  
-That would be fine. Now I know what to do with waste from the opening!

***

\- Sherlock...  
\- John?  
\- Have you eaten today?  
\- No.  
\- And yesterday?  
\- No.  
\- You decided to go on a diet?  
\- No!  
-What are you doing?  
\- Read fanfiction about us.

***

\- Where did you get this drive, Holmes?  
\- In the network downloaded.  
-But it's "50 shades of HUSO"!? Porn Russian cartoon about ducks!!?  
\- What do you want Joan?! This sanctions Russia retaliatory.


	72. The mystery of the island of Tahiti

Sensation! COLONEL OF COLONIAL TROOPS KIDNAPPED!

\- Holmes, where are you going?  
\- We have a new business, Watson.   
\- What?  
\- Kidnapped Colonel of colonial troops.  
-I'm with you, Holmes!

***

\- Holmes? Are you going somewhere?  
\- Yes, Watson, - Holmes stood in the middle of the room thinking.  
\- Where exactly?  
\- In Tahiti.  
-I am with you.

***

\- Holmes?!  
Shout Watson caught up with Holmes at the front door.  
\- Yes? - Holmes timidly looked around.  
\- Where do you go?  
\- In Tahiti, - Holmes pushed up his glasses; - there disappeared the Colonel of colonial troops.   
\- Martha going with you.

***

-John! Read today's news?  
-No, why?  
\- In Tahiti has lost a senior military official.  
-And?  
\- Mycroft wants me to do this.  
\- Are you going to do?  
\- Of course. - Sherlock smiled - come on, John. We're going to Tahiti.

***

\- Holmes? Where are you?  
\- In Tahiti, Joan.  
\- What was it? Give out free drugs?  
\- A military official was gone.  
\- And you hinted that it's any of your business?  
-Right, Joan.

Sensation! WHOSE BONES WERE FOUND UNDER A BANANA?

\- So you say, Holmes, that our victim was having an affair?  
\- Yes.  
-Then who stole it?  
-I'm afraid the poor fellow no one was stealing.  
\- But he's disappeared? - Watson stared at his friend.  
\- It is necessary to find urgently, because it is simply lost in the jungle.

***

\- What do you say for these bones, Watson?  
\- Bones of the white man, Holmes. And since when you then began to speak like a native Jewish quarter?   
\- Yes, Watson. I get into it.   
\- Fresh bones.  
\- Oil painting – Watson at the tomb of the unknown dead.

***

 

\- Bones, bones, lovely bones! - Watson danced near the excavated skeleton. The sun glistened on his scalpel.  
\- Watson, you might not want to do that? - Holmes squinted at the doctor, rubbing his nose became cluttered.  
\- I want to know how this man died.

***

\- The officer was having an affair on the side, - a dull voice said Sherlock, standing near dug graves. He had on black shorts and a Hawaiian shirt.   
-And you could define it in the bones? - admired John. He stood in blue jeans and a gray t-shirt - what else can I say?  
\- Ate him.   
\- Who?  
\- We dig in.

***

\- We have fresh bones, Holmes.  
-No, Joan. I am on the beach.  
-We're trying to investigate a kidnapping, -indignantly said Joan.  
\- You, dear, you, -grinned Holmes,- and I came to rest.

Sensation! WAS KIDNAPPED BY THE HUSBAND OF A VERY REPUTABLE PERSON! HIS BONES WERE FOUND UNDER A BANANA!!

-It was the tigers, Watson!! -triumphantly cried Holmes, wails in the room, Watson.  
\- My God, Holmes! What's wrong with you?  
Holmes was afraid to look. All slashed, in his blood.  
-There were three of them,- Holmes sat on the chair, allowing Watson to treat wounds,- but I somehow strayed.  
\- Let's go home to London.  
\- Tomorrow we will leave.

***

\- Holmes!?  
\- Look good, right? - Holmes collapsed on the doorstep.  
-Something wrong?-  
\- Had a fight with the tigers. They are again today, someone ate under the banana.  
\- It's better you sit at home and opium Smoking.  
-As well, Watson.

***

\- OOOOOO! - Watson cried.  
\- Don't you cry, Watson, - Holmes tried to comfort him, - how did you know that tigers have eaten.

***

\- The tigers! John, this was the usual tigers, - Sherlock bandaged John's back.  
\- And you wanted it to be some kind of local gang?  
\- No. But to disperse tigers chewing?! It was a great folly. These tigers here all eat, and I wouldn't want to eat you.   
-Thanks, Sherlock.

***

-Tiger caught, bones buried, Holmes is in jail for indecent behavior, - sang Joan Watson, lying on the chair, - now we can relax!


	73. Still stole the bacon

\- And what do you say for that fat, Shalom? -asked the little red-haired man in a cracked pince-nez on a hooked nose and a red canvas suit with stale and creased shirt.   
\- Yes, David did not make my head pregnant, -answered the cute curly-haired guy in a simple black three-piece suit, -Chaux I know what happened to this sinful fat?  
\- That don't make me naive on the face, Shalom Holmlid, Yes you're a detective, and aunt Peace’s sure you can!  
-David, I don't use this nerve! -said Shalom. - Looking for Hello to the asshole, not to think he is smarter than us.  
-I think it's the fat picked up our neighbor. Danilo Macri. Yes – The crest and they always hurt us.  
\- I beg You, David Vatovec! Take a break from this thought! - Shalom dropped his lean ass in the chair, took out his wallet and started counting the coins.  
\- Schaub you lived on one salary, - grumbled David and went to haunt Mira.

\- David!  
\- Shaw, aunt of Mira? I'm cold?  
\- No, you want to eat! -And quickly gathered him a lot of delicious things,- and Shalom?  
\- He has no interest in this fact - sadly said David, adjusting his cracked glasses.  
\- Mordecai brought this fat from Israel not from kosher kibbutz. - Began to wail Mira, - this terrible thief, according to the scheme Meeker-bilizer, took it out of the fridge and matzo and gefilte pike and many other things...  
\- I really ' Scouse me, aunt Mira, but don't mine these details. Shalom find him.

\- Sho you mine say?! – Surprised Danilo, silently moving his jaw, - what fat?  
\- Putz, mother at home? -said Shalom. - I have to tell you, sho well I don't Clara Zetkin! Bring back the fat!  
Danilo Macri slammed the door.  
\- I beg pardon. Purely formal Simonet, - Shalom and David broke down the door and burst into the apartment of Daniel. And there they found all the food stolen from aunt Mira. Danilo tried to eat it all unceremoniously, but failed.

-You did it! - Happily munching on a fat, said David.  
\- What can you know in sausage scraps; - Shalom had gone to his room.


	74. Echo songs

-Holmes why you are sitting in a chair? The streets are waiting!  
\- Watson, your boots stained in creosote. Where did you leave the prints of their feet? And you had dust on your coat?  
\- I prints left, and here you are... an easy chair, checkered plaid...  
\- Watson, wills you? -Holmes swung his arm out from underneath the blanket; in his hand was an old flintlock pistol, - sometimes and not pressed in a hurry. Your life can save.  
\- Well, Holmes, -Watson began to retreat,- I'm leaving. I'll go to bed, will look dazzling dreams about a summer day.

***

\- Holmes?!  
\- Yes, Watson?  
\- You have to pay?  
\- For what?  
\- For the victory.  
\- For what?  
\- Over Moriarty.  
\- No. To pay nothing, but I don't want to put a foot on the chest of the defeated enemy.   
\- Nothing, Holmes.

***

\- What blood group, Holmes?  
\- I do not remember, why?  
-Pity, - Watson poked with a scalpel in his teeth, - and you served, Holmes?  
\- No.  
\- Yes? Bad.  
\- What's this, Watson?  
-Wish me luck, Holmes.

***

\- John....  
\- Sherlock? - John looked inquiringly at the other.  
\- Do you see that star in the sky?  
\- Sherlock, there are no stars... Careful, Sherlock, - John picked up on time detective who so diligently looked for invisible star that began to fall on his back.  
\- I would have stayed in the tall grass, -dreamy Sherlock muttered, - and would have seen this star in the high heavens.  
-That's another one, -said John, helping Sherlock to sit up,- if you hit your head, you'd be a bunch of stars they could see.

***

-Ah, Watson! -Holmes stretched,- in such muddy and rainy days would not hurt to warm the chair and checkered plaid...  
\- You just want somewhere ass to attach, - peace said Joan Watson, - preferably in a warm place to sleep and... Calm.  
\- Yes and in the dream to see the sun...


	75. Passion red riding Hood

Beginning

\- Watson! Faster come, we are waiting for a new case!  
\- Holmes? What? – The doctor was surprised  
\- Murder, my dear friend, murder! Carefully planned premeditated murder! -Holmes rapidly up and down the room, puffing on his pipe. - The local constable sent me a telegram. I ordered tickets for a two-hour train. Faster, buddy.  
-I'm ready, - replied Watson, quickly leaving his doctoral gentleman's set in a bag.  
\- Then go!

***

\- Holmes! Holmes? -Watson walked over to the sleeping man and shook him by the shoulder.  
\- What you wanted from me, Watson? -Holmes opened the bloated eyelids.  
-Come On, Holmes! We are on a new case.  
\- Let me sleep, I was up late last night....  
-Get up and get dressed, you and I at the door can wait.  
-Okay, - Holmes reluctantly got up from the couch.

***

\- Holmes! Get up! -Watson flew into the room Holmes.  
\- What happened? – Sleepily asked Holmes, groping for glasses.  
\- We have fresh corpses!!! – Enthusiastically yelled Watson, - and they are waiting for us in the Eastern suburb of London!!!  
\- Oh, my God! -Holmes quickly jumped to his feet, adjusted the spectacles and began to dress.  
\- Faster!!! - Begged Watson, although he was dressed exactly in half, -make it faster!!!

***

\- "In Wiltshire it is murder." - John read the message in the mobile phone.  
\- Yes? - Sherlock stopped to smear the toast with jam and raised his left eyebrow.  
\- "Local police said that the murder of absolutely homeless".  
-Interesting, - Sherlock deferred toast and raised the second eyebrow. Then blinked, took the bread and said, - we'll have Breakfast and go to Wiltshire. I think that there will be something interesting.  
-As you say, Sherlock, - John has postponed a cell phone and began to eat Breakfast.

***

-In Central Park there was a murder, - said Joan in the morning in the kitchen. She quietly ate Breakfast, and Holmes drank coffee.  
\- Yes? And what do you intend to do?  
\- Like what? We take up this matter.  
\- Well, Watson, as you say.

The plot

\- So you say, - Watson stood on the threshold of the little house and talked to the policeman, and indoors worked Holmes, - that when you broke into the house, found all this?  
-Yes, sir, - round and good-natured face of the policeman was pale, - I... I felt sick. And I called for help. Can't believe this happened? Mrs. Patti was always kind to everyone. And by reason of extreme old age hasn't left.  
-Did he have any relatives?  
\- Someone came, - the policeman shrugged.  
\- Two bodies, - said Holmes, taking off from home,- one is owned by a woman of advanced years, and the second can't identify Can remove the body.

***

\- Poor Mrs. Fish, - mourned a young policeman, tears.  
\- Stop crying and tell, - Watson shook the poor man and gave him a slap. Holmes sat, moving his eyes. He slept all the way. Yes and he got dressed somehow – shirt sticking out, tie forgotten at home.  
\- I walked in... And they are there... and blood... And I ran and screamed.  
-Is exactly Mrs. Fish?  
\- Yes, she is of advanced years old and came out of the house in the summer.  
\- A second body whose?  
\- I wasn't watching...

***

-As you say, the deceased's name? -greedily aiming the blade gored corpse, asked Watson.  
\- Mrs. Butter, - he answered, periodically looking up from the dead body.  
\- Well, well, - Watson made the first incision, then second, third... Work so absorbed him that he immediately noticed that Holmes.  
\- The old lady... Yikes, where are you Holmes?  
And Holmes was on the scene.

***

 

\- The late Mrs. Milk lived in seclusion. Yesterday she was visited by a young female.- Sherlock was running around the room, terrible bathroom, covered in blood, and looked for evidence,- is very young... and what do we have? - Sherlock clung to the subject next to the bed. Surprise gave way to pleasure.   
\- And then there was another body....  
-Sherlock, there are people worried, -recalled John, standing in the doorway.  
\- Even an hour will suffer, -said Sherlock, roving gaze around the room.

***

\- Mrs. Cheese was an ordinary old woman, who was feeding the ducks in Central Park, - Holmes grimly looked at Joan.   
\- The more interesting, and why kill a normal woman? -asked Watson.

The culmination of.

-What do you say? -Holmes anxiously looked at the constable, - Where?  
\- A cab waiting for us.  
They were driving on a slippery road in the direction of the ominous scene of the murder. At the end of the road they were in for a surprise a little girl in a red cloak.  
-Who are you? -asked Watson.  
Sob was his answer.  
-Is the granddaughter of Mrs. Patty, - explained the policeman, -and she is the only witness to the crime.  
-What did you see, girl? -asked Sherlock Holmes.

***

\- Who is this? – Vigilantly asked Watson.  
\- A witness to a crime, - answered Holmes, - says that working as a lumberjack.   
\- Interrogated?  
\- Claims to have seen a little girl in red.  
\- Where did that come will be able to specify?  
\- Will be able.  
\- Forward to catch the criminal.

***

\- God, Watson? What is it? - Holmes couldn't stop retching.  
\- Corpses, Holmes, corpses. The three of them, -Watson pointedly raised dimly gleaming scalpel, - understand, three.  
\- Can you tell me who made them so? – Pale Holmes leaned against the wall.  
\- It's so frustrating, - complained Watson, holding the scalpel in a bloody piece of meat, - in two hours will tell.

***

-Mrs. Milk and an unknown young man in the costume of a wolf were shot at close range with the shotgun fraction of medium size, - gave Sherlock lying on the sofa in the room of cheap rural.  
\- And why the man was dressed as a wolf? - asked John, looking up from his laptop.  
-The gray hair in the head – a lusty, - Sherlock was voiced by the old saying, - those were the cravings of this venerable old lady.  
\- I want to say that a young girl could be a prostitute?  
\- The evidence on this is not the point, - muttered Sherlock.

***

\- Police arrested a local drifter named "grey wolf", -said Joan, three days after they found the old lady in the Park.   
-And? – Interested in Holmes.  
\- He saw who killed the old woman. Tomorrow we will go to detention.

Interchange

 

\- An old lady is killed the wolf? -asked Watson. - As he snuck into the house?  
\- It's not that simple, my friend, -gasped Holmes,- get your gun and go for the wolf. I will not allow, that would be the Ogre in the grey skin running around.

***

\- Holmes!? Beware!! -Watson tried to drag his friend from the little girl who was approaching him, waving a long kitchen knife. Holmes jumped back, tripped and sprawled. Watson began to shoot. But the girl still was. Suddenly she stopped, sparkled and fell apart.  
\- It was a robot? -said Holmes, rising from the pavement.  
-Yes, - replied dumbfounded Watson, - who made it?  
-You killed my daughter!!! – A tall woman in a black suit rushed to Watson and began to beat him up with a wrench.   
Holmes rushed to the rescue.

***

-The hacked to death, Holmes! -said Watson. – All three of them. Jewelry work So SNiP-SNiP.  
\- We need to find this maniac, -said Holmes, - I'm going after him.  
-I wash my hands, my work here is done.

***

\- A young girl killed her grandmother and the man? - whispered to John, staring at a young girl with bright red hair, dressed in a black t-shirt and camouflage pants and holding a Kalashnikov rifle last year.  
-Be careful, John, -Sherlock whispered, - she is armed and dangerous.  
\- We are to take her alive or...  
\- We do not charge, seizure conducted by the police.  
\- B....!!!! – The girl screamed and fired a burst over their heads.

***

-A gang of "Red Caps”, - said Joan, with hatred looking at the crowd of tall boys with red bandanas on the head. – Holmes? You're alive?  
-I never understood why the fuck they killed the grandmother? - said Holmes, rising from the ground and wiping the blood.

The final.

\- How is it, Holmes? -Watson carefully bandaged his friend, - why don't you be careful? It's a wolf.  
-Indeed, my dear fellow, - Holmes sucking relit his pipe, - it will heal. But what a decoration for our living room!  
\- Really, -Watson, you looked around. On the floor lay the skin of a huge grey wolf, and over the fireplace wolf head bared, - you avenged the death of grandmother and granddaughter.

***

\- This woman is crazy, but a damn good inventor! - Admiringly said Holmes, -her daughter died through the fault of the grandmother, so she took the robot and laid him in a program of annihilation. But then came to love his creation, and began to think that it was her daughter.  
\- And by her grace I now lie with a concussion and fractures, - muttered Watson.  
-At least we have solved the crime,- said Holmes.

***

-Killer lumberjack! -Holmes took off his glasses and wiped them.  
-I know, - replied Watson.  
-But you don't know what it was? -said Holmes,- the tin man was in love with the old lady and saw that the house she gathered guests, jealous, broke into the house and all got hit with an axe.  
-I see,- Watson sighed.

***

\- What the hell have you crawled under the bullets? – reprimanding John to Sherlock.  
\- Why did you go? -Sherlock snapped.  
They both sat on Baker Street tied-tied up and looked at each other.  
\- Why this girl killed her grandmother? -asked John.  
\- She came to claim the old lady's money, and at that Orgy. Here it is with the coils and flew off.  
\- Oh God, the youth went?!- sighed John.

***

 

\- The old woman was hit by a dismantling of two gangs, - Joan drank tea in the kitchen.  
\- Where are the police looking!? – sigh Holmes, rubbing his bandaged head.


	76. impropriety

\- Watson, what did you do today in Hyde Park with a basket?  
\- Looking for Easter eggs.  
\- But, dear friend, you have two eggs!?  
\- Yes. But they are not Easter!

***

-What is it, Holmes? -asked Watson.  
\- I have a big problem, -squeaked a treble Holmes, - I stole my Easter eggs.  
-Yeah, bad luck, - grinned Watson.

***

\- What is it? - Holmes paled and swallowed.  
\- Easter eggs, - replied Watson.  
\- Whose?!  
\- Get, who has selected, -is ominously laughed Watson.

***

\- What's so funny, John? -Sherlock looked at each other.  
\- You know what they write in blogs?  
-How could I know?  
\- "Moriarty sent as a gift four blue Easter eggs,"- said John.  
\- First, they were blue and red, - he narrowed his left eye Sherlock, -and secondly they, Moriarty and Moran, door Mycroft pinched. 

***

\- Easter is long over! - Icily she said, pouring a bottle of acetone for Easter eggs Holmes, -and my nail Polish here would not have helped.  
-Well, I tried, - grimaced Holmes.


	77. Оborvannoy

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes?  
\- Knock it off.

***

\- Lastread? What are you reading?  
\- Do not be distracted, Holmes.

***

\- Watson, and what it is big and pink?  
-You don't know? 

***

\- John.  
\- Yes?  
\- Guess the riddle.   
-What is it?  
\- Solid is inserted into soft - hanging balls next?

***

\- Joan?  
What?  
\- On the "C" begins. Оf the five letters. When it works is when cums - bows.

___________________________________________________  
\- What are you looking at, Holmes?  
\- What are you looking at me, get undressed...

***

\- Back and forth, back me and you.  
\- Don't tell me, Watson.

***

\- You remember him a little, become hard like a potato.  
-God! No! Watson! What are you doing?!

***

\- Hair, hair, in the middle of the sausage!  
\- Don't joke, Sherlock.  
\- Take two hands, shoved between his legs. Five minutes of sweating and then for fun.  
-Oh!!! You're awesome! 

***

\- HOLMES!? YEAH HOW YOU DARE?!  
-What? Back came twice slipped and went..


	78. Opera

-Ah! Ah! -Holmes was like in the throat and again sprinkled, - AAAAAA!!!  
-Holmes, what are you doing?

\- Where, where have you gone?  
Career investigator glory days?

\- Where with you evaporated accounts  
Pounds, pence, shillings

\- Watson, you are so greedy!

***

\- Heart beauties prone to change-e-e...  
-Watson, what are you doing?  
\- Here. Leave you going... -Watson's eyes had betrayed him, had brought makeup, wearing long blonde wig, corset and dress with sweetheart neckline.  
\- Why?  
\- And you don't suit me as a partner. Adieu.

***

\- I still remember young was, our army in a campaign somewhere else to be...  
-Holmes, what is it with you? Why are you wearing a dress of Martha?  
\- I went from you. You make me sick.  
\- And I'm still not opened!

***

\- Well beauties... they were all like!   
\- Sherlock?  
-Mm.  
\- Why did you become a blonde?  
-Gentlemen prefer blondes, John.  
-And pink dress with frills?  
\- And me?  
-I ride the subway,- replied John, - but they're on the car!

***

\- I remember a wonderful moment, you came to me!  
\- Then felt the doubt, even to the dust turned dreams.  
-But, Joan, - the offended said Holmes.  
\- Joan Watson! - chop off Joan.


	79. Oration of the angel and the Demon

The smell of brimstone and flames in a dark alley emerged a man in black jeans, combat boots and a t-shirt.  
-I came to this earth! - hoarsely he cried. Top heard a quiet chuckle. The man turned around and saw on the fence a young boy in a blue shirt and black jeans.  
\- And here is the soul! - happily chuckled the man in black, but suddenly noticed the wings, - in the name of all the Hells, what are you doing here?  
\- And in the name of heaven, what are you doing here? - Angel shrugged; rustled the feathers.  
\- I? - the demon was silent.  
\- You don't know? I will say for you, - angel jumped off the fence and stood before the Demon,- you and I are tempted.   
\- Where's your halo? - squeezed the Demon with a flash of fiery eyes.  
\- Grade not yet come out, - sighed the angel, - I – earthly angel and you a demon of the earth, we insignia not put.  
\- So if I offend you, I can be counted? - said the Demon, grinning.  
\- But if I save you, then I might too, - angel replied with a shrug, - I thought much.  
\- Demons have no souls, - the Demon grimaced, the darkness, and grabbed the angel at the neck of his shirt, pulled her to him, - and you are cute,- and lips. But the angel pressed his lips and turned away.  
\- You will not be able to resist me, - Demon angel bit at the lobe of his ear and pulling wing - why can't I break your wing?  
\- You will not be able to do what you have planned, - in the gray eyes of an angel no fear, - you will not be able to hurt my wings.  
\- Why is that? – confused Demon, - I'm going to rape you, because there is nothing better than to fuck up the angelic soul...  
\- You can make it, - the angel smiled at the Demon.  
\- You'll polybasic here, - the Demon pinned angel to the wall and began to fondle him roughly, violently and brutally biting kiss, leaving on the neck, chest and shoulders of the angel of small wounds. And scratching, for it was the Demon's fingernails were long and broken.

Couple of hours later the Demon stepped away from his victim.  
\- You look like crap! - pretty grinning he said to angel.  
He carefully inspected his era appearance, looked up at the Demon and smiled.  
\- What are you grinning again!? - cried the Demon, - now we'll do a very indecent and abominable thing!  
\- No way, - the angel smiled, but looked at the demon with a squint.   
\- Why? – the Demon stiffened.  
\- Because, - angel somehow imperceptibly turned around, and the wall were pressed against the Demon, - it is not necessary to Wake the sleeping angel, - the angel smiled faintly, tore off his shirt and began to caress the Demon. But his touch was gentle, weightless kisses and bites extremely pleasant.  
\- Oh, shit! - moaned the Demon, - what are you doing to me?  
\- Try to save your soul, - said angel, not looking up from his work.  
\- The idiot, demons have no soul, - the Demon put his hands on the shoulders of the angel and – crack - broke his left wing.  
\- Oh, sorry - grinned the Demon, - did not want, was an accident...  
\- You shouldn't have done, - angel went slightly pale and smiled through the pain, - now you and I are connected.  
What do you mean?  
\- If, - angel recoiled from the Demon, - you are not the man you would be tempted and I would have saved. We – earthly angel and a demon. If you killed me, I would rise higher and you got a promotion. But you broke my wing. I can't go up to heaven, I, by the way, and not drawn there... really. And you can't fall into hell. Now we have one road. You will tempt me, and I'll try to save you.  
\- And... no options?  
\- One down, - the angel smiled, forgiving, - kill me. And all that's in you that I will be extremely happy. The sky get rid of pesky angel who asks awkward questions, but hell accept a cool demon that angel had stopped.  
\- I didn't want it, - the Demon suddenly smiled to the angel, - I want to try the first option. And what happens?


	80. The truth about how there were Squirrels Death.

In one dark spruce forest lived a squirrel and she had squirrels. All smart, except for the last one. And the last one was beyond measure curious and nimble squirrel. And one day she went out from his nest and jumped on the branches. And jumped to the river, moved to the other side and got into a black and gloomy forest, where old spruce trees creaked, rumbled dull invisible owl, with lower branches hung down in long strands of moss, and between the trees, reminding white cloth, shone the webs. And only became squirrel to look back and think, when suddenly thundered terrible, and red lightning struck the forest, shattering into pieces mossy rock, stood on the edge.

And the forest was filled with smoke, noise and old spruce tops, trunks and lay by the shock wave. And dropped the squirrel right in black fluffy moss and lost consciousness. And when woke up, saw that the forest became clear and bright. And old spruce trees turned into green shoots of fir trees, rose curly birch, and trembling aspen, and spreading trees of wild cherries.  
Watching the squirrel, and next grown emerald cedar, the branches waving, but the nuts knocks. Happy squirrel, they bite, and "they are not simple, they are shells gold, kernel-pure emerald." Ten gold and one normal comes across. And leave protein could not. Not let her something beyond the group of trees consisting of emerald cedar, spruce malachite and pale hazel herbal.

And so the squirrel lived until, until one day she woke up on the wide yard.  
"...under the tree high,  
See the squirrel at all  
Gold nut chewing,  
Emerald takes out,  
And shell collect,  
Piles of equal lays  
And whistling all singing  
When honest with all people:  
In the garden, in the garden."

After that, the life of proteins has become a real tale. Crystal has built her house, presented the clerk, such a thin not-very-nice uncle with liquid unwashed beard. He did accounting for the nuts. And then one day a squirrel accidentally swallowed an emerald nucleolus. The first two weeks protein toiled stomach, and then in the beginning of the third squirrel woke up one day, shook with a dazzling red crystal hides the remains of the house and squealed piercingly. And squeak burst all the Windows and bells, and frightened people, afflicted by a raging monster, hurriedly rushed to the ships. And they sailed in rough seas, and, through her tears, watched from the deck as a huge orange monster destroys their island, roasting green beam homes and churches. And when the monster had finished, it went into the water and swam to the next one. People moored to the devastated island and began to mourn his fate.

But squirrel, what the hell's the squirrel?! Huge monster the size of Godzilla, going from island to island, from continent to continent, gnawing and destroying everything around. But the emerald in her stomach begin to lose properties, and monster began to shrink in size. And when it began to decrease, she decided to write his adventures. And then she called the Squirrels Death and began to write fanfiction.  
But at the moment it sits in a tower, guarded by a stranger and with a great writer.

Here and fairy tales end, and who listened, straining can and write a review


	81. The battle on the unnamed Creek

And they came to the stream that flowed over its rocky bed between moss-covered rocks and wet. And this was surrounded by a stream of high trees, Spanish moss covered. Only at the top and penetrated the sky is blue. And they went forth from the forest. Two different, two different.   
And one was wearing a black shirt, and black jeans, and biker boots, and black jacket. And he was small, but firmly built, and radiated this person joy and happiness. And the second was wearing a grey shirt, and grey jeans and ankle boots. And his red hair drifted in the wind. And red was strong and taller than the first. And they looked at each other. And smiled first, and went into the icy water of the Creek, and moved towards the redhead. But he didn't want to get my feet wet. And waited for it to dry shore.  
And when the first came out of the water, the redhead took the stone and threw it at the newcomer, but missed. And the man came closer and smiled to his opponent. Red haired and ready to fight, because he wanted pain, but didn't know how to get it....

But suddenly the sky darkened suddenly, and flashed a yellow star, and there was a dull blow, and shook the solid earth, and the Creek spilled from its rocky bed. And both fell on the rocks. But first turned around and looked deep into the forest. And suddenly staggered black trunks, progibanie something heavy and strong. First and grabbed the redhead by the arm and dragged him away...  
But did not...  
Struck something with a flourish, and left the first guy in rock. With a sickening crunch it crashed and slid on the stones. A redhead rushed into something dark and almost invisible.

It's been a long fight. But the redhead was tired, for he was already covered in tatters of skin and flesh, and all unknown creature sighting beat without fatigue.... And suddenly shone above them glow silver. And saw a red haired opponent. And was this unknown creature similar to spiny frog and paws like a dog. And her claws were long and curved and sharp thorns. And the creature roared and began to thrash his paws over the light source. And the redhead felt strength returned to him, and the wounds have healed and he is once again full of strength. He found himself a long stick and hit the creature in the belly hairless; and the creature roared. And... suddenly the lights went out, and there was darkness.

And in the morning, when dawn came, he saw the red haired creature was dead, lying across the stream, and the second guy on the rocks resting. Redhead and walked over to him and realized that the guy's dead, for his chest was pierced by a broken claw of the beast and several ribs protruded, breaking through the skin and flesh. Redhead buried his frustrated opponent and dived into the black forest. But he felt that someone accompanies him, and who never saw it, because turning around, could see only fog, between the trunks...


	82. The tale of

And the house stood dilapidated in the street dead. And the wind howled in the window broken, and a door banged. And dust walked through the rooms and floors. And in the upper room on the bed lay a man, asleep. It was a short little man with wheat blond hair and a mustache. He is sweet snuffled under the covers, curled into a ball. 

Meanwhile, a house collapsed under the tread of time and vandals. But to the upstairs bedroom no one could penetrate, for there was an invisible field. And this man slept for a hundred years, and wanting to Wake him.

And one day there came a figure in a black cloak wrapped, and climbed it to the upper room and looked at the sleeping. How she cried that even the surviving glass shook:  
\- WATSON! GET up! STOP SLEEPING!  
And Watson woke up, yawned, got up on the bed and asked:  
\- Holmes, you're it?   
-No, - the man replied and threw the cloak. - I am the Moffat!  
\- Where's Holmes? - asked Watson.  
\- And he left. Read all the fanfiction about themselves and you, Watson, and thought it best to leave.  
\- Where?  
\- In Devonshire, to breed bees.  
\- He's alive?  
\- Yes. In the meantime, Yes.  
\- Well, - smiled at Watson and fell asleep again. And find it was not possible.


	83. Thing about hair

1

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, my good friend, what happened? – thin face Holmes for a moment appeared from the smoke.  
\- What made this pudding?  
\- Marine fish, buddy.  
\- Then how did that get here? - and Watson gave Holmes a long strand of red-red hair.  
\- Will have to investigate.

***

 

\- Watson, your wife can't cook - muttered Holmes, actively wielding a fork and knife.   
\- Why do you think so?  
\- If she knew how to cook this fillet would not have been it, - and Holmes put on the table a lock of reddish hair, - as you will find out.

***

 

\- Watson, you turned into chefs?  
\- No. What makes you say that, Holmes?  
\- And that,- Holmes pulled from his mouth long tangled strand of hair red, - found in your sandwich.  
\- We will understand?  
\- Of course.

***

 

\- Sherlock, how many times was said, you don't bite the hell up!!!  
\- Don't worry, John. All right.  
\- Yeah, right, - John grumbled, wiping vomit everywhere floor. – You'd got up from the sofa, but helped.  
\- I can't, - Sherlock was lying on the sofa with the face of a Martyr and considered a strand of red hair that was holding. - How did I get this from?

***

 

\- Holmes!  
\- Yes?  
\- What is it?  
\- Where?  
\- And here it is - Joan disgustedly pushed a strand of bright red hair that knows how turned on a pizza.  
\- Understand, dear,- smiled Holmes.

2

 

\- Mrs Hudson where you bought the fish?  
\- In the market, Mr. Holmes.  
\- Doctor! We go to the market!  
\- Well, Holmes.

***

 

\- Mary!? Dear?!  
\- Yes, John, what happened?  
\- Where'd you fillet?  
\- In the market, dear.  
\- Fine, - grinned Holmes, is going on the market.

***

 

\- What have you opened recently?  
\- Nothing.  
\- And a sandwich who did?  
\- Martha.  
\- Mrs. Watson?!  
\- Yes?  
\- Where you took the meat for sandwiches?  
\- In the market.  
\- We go to the market, - Holmes straightened up and adjusted his glasses.

***

 

\- Where did you last bite?  
\- Graham. He gave me a tuna sandwich.  
\- Go to Lestrade.  
\- Whatever you say, - Sherlock rose from the sofa.

***

 

\- Pizza came from "Mobile pizza Big Mo"?  
\- Yes.  
\- Come On, Joan. We have a visit of courtesy.

3

 

\- What are we doing here, Holmes? - moaned Watson, standing knee-deep in stinking fish waste production.  
\- Looking for evidence - calmly Holmes answered, while looking around.

***

 

\- Disgraceful,- grumbled Watson, passing through the market - a complete lack of sanitation.  
\- And stinks - Holmes muttered, pinching his nose.  
\- What are we looking for?  
\- Fisherman.

***

 

-QUICKLY GIVE ME THE FISHERMAN!!! - yelled Watson, brandishing a scalpel. – HE SOLD MY WIFE!!???  
\- Calm yourself, Watson, - Holmes felt insecure in the harsh environment of the English fishermen.

***

 

\- A sandwich? - Greg scratched his head. - I bought it at a kiosk.  
\- Will be able to remember where the kiosk is? - John said.  
\- Insulting. Of course, I'll find him, - muttered Gregory.  
\- Then let's go. 

***

 

\- Where did you get the products for the pizza?  
\- The suppliers, who responded.- hippie and boorish type in a faded t-shirt, - and I courier All questions - to the boss.

4

 

\- God! Holmes!? What is it?  
\- I think it's a mermaid, - with sadness in his voice said Holmes, looking at the torn remains of a young girl.  
\- How did you guess?  
\- Elementary, Watson, - Holmes pointed the tube to the fin, around the body around the waist. - Apparently, she got hooked and died under the knives of breakaway.  
\- But how did they not notice that?!  
\- And this we know.

***

 

\- I had no idea, - that panic was justified fisherman,- I pulled it out. She resisted. I paddle on the head. Melted. I turned it over. And there... my goodness mermaid. Dead. I have her tail chopped off and the body dumped.  
\- No. Left to itself, - sharply said Holmes, - is a pervert.  
\- We ate a MERMAID!? – shocked whispered Watson.

***

 

\- God, I was not able to open the mermaid - Watson groaned, clutching his head.  
\- Man, we ate a MERMAID?! - Holmes quickly ran into the bushes.

***

 

\- "Mermaid's ordinary meat," - read Sherlock in a tin, - where did you get this?  
\- The Swedes deliver, - said the seller.  
\- So it wasn't tuna? - angrily hissed Lestrade. – how much time do I feed it that is not clear?  
\- In just two weeks. The last three cans left. 

***

 

\- Mermaid in the waters of the Hudson? Stunned! – shocked murmured Holmes.  
\- Mermaid... in pizza? - Joan reeled and would have fallen, Yes, Holmes picked up. - Here. Next time we'll order Chinese food.  
\- I agree.


	84. The cult of dick

The ancient Greeks proclaimed the cult of the body, and the current of the times proclaim the cult of dick.

I do not understand why the corner-stone now to be sex? Why not an achievement to read all of Tolstoy (and the rest of world and Russian classics), once a month to go to the ballet, to see the masterpieces of the world and Soviet cinema? It's not an achievement at the present time, but the talk about who is with whom and why, this is the main theme of the current life. 

Fuck, fuck and fuck again. No topics of conversation? Shut up. It is not necessary to speak how many of you have lovers and mistresses. And why bother to talk about it? And why write about it?  
The woman has become a waste bucket. And everything that relates to sex, pouring from all screens. Why? What man will remain a man in the normal sense of the word, a knight, a Superman, if he is to help a woman( girlfriend, mother, grandmother, friend) will see it as just one big pussy? Women are guilty too. Why such obsession for men? Don't those who don't Fucks with the moment that came out of his mother's womb, something worse than those who do not miss a single man? What is all this?

Yes, the world does not stand still. Ideals change. But why is the image of a smart person, Botanica, is so no popular? If the end of the world will survive smart, but not stallions. Because we'll need to BUILD!!!! And it requires smart minds, strong people.

I mind my own business. What you want, and do, but in this situation you just kill yourself and those around you.


	85. Moffat - gatherer

And came to Moffat once Gatiss and picked up daddy. And then the wind blew a hurricane, and flew up the leaves of the script of the new "Doctor" and "Sherlock", and disappeared, having scattered in one on the cities and villages. And then Gatiss said sadly:  
\- Have you, Steven, to pass many roads and to get me lost leaves! Otherwise your career will be over.  
-Good,- replied Moffat here, - I'll get the sheets of the script and save themselves from disgrace.

And Moffat went, but he did not know how to do it. And, after a kilometer, he found himself in Hyde Park, sat on a bench and wept. And about him suddenly appeared a vortex and left it on the track the guy is young and muscular with red hair.   
And said there was this guy:  
\- I know about your trouble, Moffat, and will help you. Here's the key, - and handed him a pen diamond instructed, - wave it and say – "the Pen is sound, lead me to the script!" and that hour you'll find yourself in the location you specified.

And took Moffat a pen and waved it, and said cherished words, and he found himself right on the Heather field in Scotland. And Moffat looked around, and saw that dressed in red-and-blue plaid kilt, and jacket, and a beret with a feather. Yes and were still on it, shoes with socks and a blanket, slung over his arm. And he saw a piece of white, over the Heather creeping. Moffat and ran after him through the fragrant Heather. And saw Moffat on the ruins of two towers and a piece flew straight at them. And darted Moffat after sheet, and blew two of the blade in the vicinity of the head of Moffat. Stephen slid from the ruins, clutching the precious piece of paper, a flash of bare white ass, and shouted words cherished.

And Moffat found himself in space, and he was dressed in a suit a La Yuri Gagarin. And flew to it the box blue, and he grabbed it and saw the second sheet. And he took it and moved again. But this time he was in Tokyo. And he looked at himself and saw that he was dressed in a blue sailor suit, and a number of the big cat turns, and a small piece of claw scratches. And Moffat sent a powerful kick the cat fly far and raised the sheet. Yes and it was a piece of script missing.

And again moved Moffat, and he found himself in Victorian England. And saw two of my comrades in the reef rushing in a cab to another cab, and on the way they lie in a mud puddle two papers precious. And Moffat rushed behind them, at the risk of being crushed by cabs or getting hit in the head with a hoof. But nothing happened, and withdrew Moffat leaves, and climbed up to the sidewalk, and found folded the papers and tapped them with the handle gone and the leaves moving in the daddy to Gatiss. 

And again Moffat has got on a space ship, and he looked at himself – the classic suit and yellow boots, and moved him far, and they were humming something terribly confusing. But then saw Moffat and a familiar face in an overcoat thereof, a leaf, casually stick in your pocket. And then Moffat rushed to him and cried:  
\- Jack! Save me!  
And then turned around Jack Harkness and killed all the Daleks, and Moffat concluded in a strong hug and tried to kiss, but Moffat sheet is pulled and moved. And straight to the arms of the Eleventh Doctor. And Moffat looked around and saw as many as ten sheets of the coveted script. And he kicked the Doctor and began to collect the leaves, and the pile of folding. And then, when finished, looked back at the Doctor, and saw that the already Jack hugs. And embarrassed Steven Nemer and moved.

And the next move brought him directly to the morgue, and opened Stephen's eyes and saw that he was naked and lying on the table with the plates on his leg, and he is approached by John Watson with a scalpel. But this was not Watson Martin, and was quite a strange type in a checkered handkerchief. And Moffat jumped down from the table and it had made a strange Watson in utter confusion, and grabbed his clothes and ran, frantically dressing, through the corridors of the hospital and it turned out that the moon is the hospital. And Moffat has found his sound a pen and three sheets of script in a hospital toilet, and saved the Tenth Doctor, and generally saved the day, and moved to another space ship...

And there was this big ship, and ran all sorts of droids, and managed to Moffat under the laser beams not to fall, from light swords is not lost, but found he cherished their leaves right on the bridge. And moved from there somewhere else. Not had time to look around Moffat, came to him girl in a short dress and grabbed it, and threw in a dark corner, and Steven's script to Gatiss sent. And the damsel began to kiss Steve and mercy, and then there's a strange man in black came, and the man balding, and they are all on Moffat climbed. And something like Steven fought them off, the sheets raised from the floor and moved it in a large castle. And there he saw a young boy with red hair, and read the guy the sheets of the script and laughed stentorian voice.

\- Give me the papers, - said Moffat and held out his hand, but it turned out that he was chained to the wall with a massive chain.  
And came to it this type of weird and embraces, and found that it is not a strange type, and mark. And carefully looked at Moffat and not mark it at all, but Benedict Cumberbatch himself.  
And said here Steven voice fading:  
\- Let go of me, Ben, please...  
But not Ben stood beside him, and the Master and smile brutal.

And Moffat whispered the words cherished and was in the office at Mark, lying on the couch next to mark and a pale face worked. And Stephen asked:  
\- What happened to me was?  
And mark replied:  
\- You suddenly fell into a swoon and scared the shit out of me, and began to rave you, shouting incomprehensible words...  
\- What about the script?   
\- Yes with the script all is well, - replied mark and Steven drink tea from a bag on which was written – "Grass from Martha".


	86. Zombie Apocalypse.

1

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, dear friend?  
\- Look, - Watson stood at the window and looked outside, - something strange is going on.   
\- Let me see, - Holmes left a comfortable armchair and walked over to Watson.  
The street was really something strange going on. They playfully ran through Baker street, knocking cabs and tradeswomen. Falling people pounced and literally tormented.  
\- What happened? – said Watson.  
\- I dunno, - replied the great detective.

***

 

\- Holmes! – in the apartment detective rushed Watson.  
\- What happened? - Holmes lay on the couch and smoked.  
\- In London go mad people!  
\- And what?  
\- Like what? Need to figure out why this is happening!?

***

 

\- Watson? Where are you going? - Holmes looked out of his bedroom door.  
\- They say that some patients appeared, - Watson, wrapped in my plaid scarf and my brown tweed coat, stood near the front door, - should I practice to expand.  
\- Yes. If anything, let me know.

***

 

\- Sherlock? - John stared at his friend, - is why you fell out?  
\- From the streets of London - Sherlock swallowed. His coat was dusty and torn.  
\- You were attacked female fans? Or was it advanced slasher?  
\- I was attacked by the Londoners, ' muttered Sherlock, tearing off the coat and falling to the chair - London townsfolk.  
\- Why? - John howls outside the window, and he stood up from the couch, went to the window.  
\- How should I know?

***

 

\- Joan?! What are you doing? – Sherlock's jaw dropped. And it was clear from what. Joan Watson was pushed against a wall by two scruffy looking men.  
\- Do not stand as a stump, - screamed Joan, - help me!  
\- Well! - Holmes hit one then the other. Men fell, but tried to get up again.  
\- Come On, Holmes! - Joan grabbed Holmes by the arm and dragged him to the house.

2

 

\- Holmes! – in the apartment on Baker street burst bloody Lestrade, - I need your help!  
\- What happened? – asked Holmes.  
\- You need to tie it up! – cried Watson.  
\- London has gone mad. The townsfolk are attacking others and tearing them like animals! But I am the police! I tried to pacify these lunatics! Holmes, help!

***

 

\- London is crazy! All torment each other! – yelled Watson. – I need your help!  
\- I don't give a shit! – took a drag on his cigarette Holmes and looked at the ceiling.

***

 

\- I'll kill you! – Watson with a bloody mouth and torn clothes, swinging a scalpel, approaching Holmes. His eyes were empty and black.  
\- Watson! What's wrong with you? - Holmes backed away to the door.  
\- I'll kill you!

***

 

\- We'll kill you. - crawled into the room three people. It was Mycroft, Gregory and Martha Hudson. Mycroft twirled the umbrella, Greg shoved service weapon in the air, apparently not knowing what to do with it. And Martha Hudson was wiping hands on apron.  
John and Sherlock backed away.   
\- What's up with them? - asked John.  
\- I don't know, - muttered Sherlock.

***

 

\- Uh – uh – uh!!! – bloody people were walking, stumbling, along wall street. Joan Watson and Holmes fled, without feeling under the feet.


	87. Nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, gentlemen, let's play stuff.  
> I you a question and you answer me

Who? 

Sherlock

Where? 

In Riga

When?

At six o'clock 2045

With whom? 

Arthur

What did you do?

Playing catch-up

What the other said? 

I went home

What came of it? 

Apocalypse

The moral of the story.

Better in comp play

Waiting for answers


	88. The Hiro Application. Moriarty kidnaps Martha Hudson.

1

 

\- Holmes? As you saw today, Mrs. Hudson?  
\- No, dear friend you have not seen? - in the face of Holmes emerged from the smoke, - and something happened?  
\- Yes, Holmes, I can't find her!  
\- Let's solve this mystery together, dear doctor!

***

 

\- Holmes? Where's your mistress?  
\- For Pity's Sake, Watson! – said Holmes, - I have the lady and he has never been! And that's where your wife went, I'm curious!  
-Yes, - said Watson. - she's gone.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes?  
\- What have you done with my wife?  
\- I don't know, - Holmes began frantically to think.  
\- If not – blame yourself! – threatened Watson

***

 

\- Sherlock? Sherlock!!!   
\- John, leave me alone! – irritably replied Sherlock, - I'm so bored!  
\- Now it won't be boring - burst into the room scared John, - Mrs. Hudson has been kidnapped!!!  
\- Yes you that?! - Sherlock jumped on the couch and enthusiastically yelled. - When?  
\- Right now!  
\- I have a job!!! - Sherlock rushed over to John, hugged, kissed and drove down, leaving Watson in utter disbelief.

***

 

\- Joan?! Joan?! - Holmes entered the house and began to call Watson.  
But she didn't answer, not only all the clothes were scattered, broken furniture, smashed Windows...  
\- Seems to me that Watson has been kidnapped! - thoughtfully said Holmes.

2

 

\- I think I know where Mrs Hudson, - said Holmes in the evening.  
\- Where?  
\- She was kidnapped by Moriarty!  
\- But after all, Moriarty is dead!? – hesitantly replied Watson.  
\- I survived, - Holmes lit his pipe, - that prevented him to survive too?  
\- God, how we will get her back?

***

 

\- Your wife stole Moriarty! - said Holmes to Watson.  
\- But... but... he died? - Watson stared at Holmes, - though... scum like you and Moriarty, is normal and can never perish.  
\- I am not a bastard! – offended Holmes.  
\- And if not a bastard, look, Holmes, look!

***

 

\- Moriarty your wife stole timidly, - said Holmes at dinner.  
\- But then what the hell do you sit and do nothing? – reasonably asked Watson, playing with a knife.  
\- I'll go, - said Holmes, his gaze fixed on the gleaming blade - a bite and go.  
\- I insist that you return my wife to the next dinner, - hissed angrily Watson.  
\- Yeah, - he answered, struggling to get up from the table.

***

 

\- What do you say, Sherlock?  
\- So. Martha was tucked into an old yellow car with bald tires, - said Sherlock, - is this machine not English, very little and is heated when goes.  
\- The Russian mafia? – breathy whispered John.  
\- I dunno,- thoughtfully remarked Sherlock, - we'll keep digging. 

***

 

\- Holmes! You can't find your girlfriend? – reproachfully said the police.  
\- Able but unwilling, - replied Holmes, - you for the work to take?  
\- No. You are the detective here and let's prove that your bread is not in vain eat!

3

 

\- Moriarty! Give up! – shouted the inspector Lestrade - you're surrounded!  
\- I have Mrs. Hudson! - replied Moriarty, - and I'll kill her! But if Holmes gets here, then I will think about it!  
\- Holmes! Don't risk it! - nervously wringing her hands, said Watson.  
\- I must, my dear friend! - replied the great detective and straightened coat and cap, walked to the house.

***

 

\- Moriarty! I'm here!  
\- I see it, Holmes! Get up here and talk!  
\- Give wife Watson! It has nothing to do with!  
\- It's completely relevant! – rusty and Moriarty laughed.

***

 

\- Why big Ben? – sadly said Holmes, clinging to the surface.  
\- I like that - Moriarty chuckled, adjusting his blue glasses.  
\- Where Is Martha Watson?  
\- It is tied to the clock mechanism so that the stroke of 12 it will be crushed.  
\- You are a disgusting person! – with a sense muttered Holmes.

***

 

\- I found this car, - Sherlock pulled up next to a confused John, long - eared Zaporozhets, and he stands two blocks from here. I know where Martha!   
\- So let's save! – cried John, - I now take the weapon.  
\- I get to change and awkward to coat the bandits to catch.

***

 

\- Where have you been, Joan Watson? - Holmes went to the local dealer, bought the dose injected and was now sitting on the couch and waited. Waited, when will be smart idea, or will return Joan.

4

 

\- I'll kill you! - cried the genius of the underworld and threw himself on the brilliant detective.  
\- I'll kill you! – shouted Martha and framed Moriarty bandwagon.  
\- Help! - only had time to shout Moriarty, stumbling and falling out the window.   
\- You killed Moriarty! - Holmes gallantly brought Martha out of the house and gave it into the care of Watson, - poor Moriarty! 

***

 

\- I will kill you!   
\- I you too!   
Two men clutched in a death match.

***

 

\- The world belongs to glasses! – pathetic said Moriarty.  
\- The world belongs to smart, - replied Holmes.  
\- The world belongs to people with a scalpel! - Watson chuckled and threw both from the tower.

***

 

\- Moriarty, come out!  
\- You come here!  
\- You're not going anywhere, - hissed John.  
\- But there is Martha! – said Sherlock.  
\- But there Moriarty! – retorted John.  
\- Then let's go together! – suggested Sherlock.  
\- Well.

***

 

\- XP-HRR-R! - Holmes slept on the couch and didn't hear Joan come.  
Just woke up from a painful jolt in the ribs.  
\- Joan?!

5

 

\- Martha Hudson – you are an amazing woman! Even better than That Woman! - Holmes complimented.  
\- Yes that you, Mr Holmes, - Mrs Hudson blushed.

***

 

\- Honey?  
\- John! Come here and untie me!  
\- Where's Holmes? – Watson asked, rising to his spouse.  
\- Ah! They both died, with tears in his eyes, - said Mary.  
\- Sorry, - Watson, wet dry eyes.

***

 

\- Sorry, Mr Watson, - said Lestrade, - to lose his wife and best friend...  
-Yes, - tragic voice replied Watson, simulating the deepest grief is awful.

***

 

\- What the hell have you crawled under the damn bullet? – hysteria in the voice of bandaged man asked John the same bandaged Sherlock.  
\- Shut up, - scoffed Sherlock, - we all saved!  
\- Even Moriarty...   
\- Well, we shouldn't have saved, - admitted Sherlock.

***

 

\- I HATE you, Holmes! – she said and punched him in the eye.  
\- What?! – screamed Holmes.  
\- For what you are looking for ME were not! – and struck again.


	89. The rain

I sit and watch.  
Outside the window it rains.   
Actually there is no rain.   
It's raining in my soul.  
I look and think heavy drops. Drops smooth, shining. They reflect the sun. It blind the rain.  
I believe the drops...  
\- Times!  
\- Two!  
And so on to a hundred, and then from the beginning.  
This is a good rain. He washes away the decay and ash.   
I love the rain. I love to walk under it. He calms me down.

I look at the sun. It is reflected in the droplets and creates a multicolored rainbow. I understand that I am alive, and my life may not be as interesting as others, but I with hands and feet. And I can look at the rain, standing under it and drops from her lashes.

This is so fabulous - walking in the rain in the season of gold autumn.  
It's so fabulous to see a multicolored rainbow.  
This is so fabulous - turning your life into a fairy tale.

But it all ends... the rainbow will remain... Autumn will come too... And tale will only remain in the warm memories... 

I look at the rain and fall asleep to the quiet noise. And I'm dreaming of a fairy tale and a rainbow.


	90. Drops.

I hear the sound.

What is it?

It drops.

Rain?

But outside the window there is no rain.

Crane?

No. The sound is slow and heavy, and the crane drops calls.

What is it?

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. The ceiling is a grayish-white, cracked here and there hanging web... Dripping somewhere nearby. Slow viscous sound. I raise my right hand. Slowly raised hand. It's hard for me. Hand stained scarlet spots, and I see a simple blade. I don't understand. I want to lift my left arm. She hangs off the bed, and me uncomfortable. But I can't pick it up. Then I move around to the edge and look at the floor.  
What a great puddle! Just amazing how much blood in a person. The smell tickles the nostrils. And I again see, as with your fingers plucked the straw and falls down hard. I don't remember what I did... But I suddenly remember something I forgot.  
Forgot to fall in love?  
No, not that...  
Forgot to leave a memory?  
Also wrong...

Here. I forgot to live life.  
But I won't be able to return.  
I fall asleep and see a beautiful angel came down to me. So sweet to fall asleep in his arms.  
I'm dead.


	91. Something terrible is haunting in the fog

1

 

\- Holmes! Did you read the morning paper?  
\- No, Watson, not read. What happened?  
\- Tonight there were five murders! – excited said Watson.  
\- Ah! Interesting - a dull voice Holmes answered and began to eat the toast.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, Watson?  
\- Night killed six people!   
\- I don't care, - said Holmes, - I have the opium ran out.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, Watson?  
\- I'm going to the hospital, they say there are seven bodies brought. To join, won't you?  
\- I am with you.

***

 

\- What's new in the blogs? - asked Sherlock, coming to the Breakfast.  
\- No idea, - replied John, - I am today without Breakfast. I called Greg and said that an autopsy is required.  
\- I'm with you! - Sherlock took courage and went to change. 

***

 

\- Joan, what is it you are in the morning so twitchy? - asked Holmes.  
\- We have eight murders in Brooklyn committed that night.  
\- Super, - Holmes yawned and went to the bathroom.

2

 

\- What do you say, Holmes? – worried Lestrade - it's unheard of!? Five peaceful Londoners killed right in... beds. Not a single clue! Not a single fingerprint!?  
\- I want to see the crime scene, calmly said Holmes, producing blue smoke, and Watson will see what happened to these poor souls.  
\- Well, Holmes! COP a cab waiting for us.

***

 

\- This is where we found these poor souls? – stupidly looking around, said Holmes.  
\- First place, - replied Watson. – Here was killed first. In his warm and cozy bed.  
-So, - Holmes interested. 

***

 

\- What lovely bodies! – enthusiastically exclaimed Watson as he searched for an autopsy. Of course, he immediately forgot about Holmes. But Holmes remembered Lestrade.  
\- Damn it! Holmes! I need you at the crime scenes!

***

 

\- Hmm! Oh! Mm! ! So-so! - Sherlock rushed around the apartment giant, looking around and picking up invisible clues.  
\- Greg,- John watched the other, - no evidence?  
\- No, - replied Greg, - I wonder if Sherlock will find something...

***

 

\- Corpses, corpses, rats, stink... I don't Like these slums! – grumbled Holmes.  
\- We need to find the killer or killers! – strictly reminded Watson.  
\- Know, not a fool, - growled Holmes.

3

 

\- You know what it is, Watson?  
\- No,- gasped the doctor.  
\- Is wool thread, - solemnly proclaimed Holmes, holding two fingers a long thick thread, - it was manufactured at the factories of Scotland and refers to the clan Mackenzie!  
\- Brilliant, Holmes! – shocked whispered Watson.

***

 

\- This thread! – said Holmes, - out of the plaid of the Scottish clan MacDonald!  
\- Amazing, Holmes! - Said a surprised Watson, - and what do you suggest? To arrest the entire clan?

***

 

\- I found the thread! – Holmes yelled, running into the morgue.  
\- And? - Watson muttered, digging in the guts.  
\- It's a real woolen thread from the blanket of the guy who portrayed the Butler in a seemingly Scottish castle!  
\- I knew this Jew is something wrong!  
\- It was the crest! – said the wounded Holmes.  
\- It was a Jew! – snapped a scalpel Watson.

***

 

\- This is supposedly a thread of wool mixed with nylon plaid made in China, - Sherlock slipped under the nose of Greg black thread, - and she was on each of the corpses. How to explain this?  
\- You're the great detective! - otbrehalas Greg, - you say a word!

***

 

\- Weave mats made of polyethylene, - said Holmes.  
\- And fiber, - added Watson.  
\- But this thread... It bewilders me.

4

 

Something black got on Baker street foggy night and slipped into the room Holmes.  
\- Help!!! - Watson woke up with a chilling howl, transformed into a gasp.  
Watson drew his revolver and rushed into the room with Holmes. There on the bed, something black was struggling with the genius detective. Watson realized – you can't shoot and rushed to help. Black and covered it.

***

 

Terrible things were happening on Baker street; something black was choking and Holmes, who came to his aid, Watson. It was wrapped in swaddling clothes and inexorably tightened, blocking the air.

***

 

\- You hurt me!!! - screamed as Holmes and choked a cry.  
\- I'm sorry! - Watson tore something terrible, dense, soft with a scalpel. He would this would not do, but Watson was afraid that this unknown stuff would be attacking him.

***

 

Sherlock already rattled, John, pinned to the breast of the friend, published no less sickening sounds, and that obscure stuff that held them all stronger squeezed them in a deadly embrace. John has released all of the bullets, but it didn't.

***

 

\- God, Joan! – said Holmes, when pressed by an unknown force, Joan was very close from him. - You turn me on!  
\- Not now, - said Watson, trying to kick it.  
\- I will protect you, - is pathetically growled Holmes.

5

 

\- As we came through and survived? - Watson hissed, nervously glancing at the dark blue plaid, pinned Holmes to the floor with a poker.  
\- The morning came, - coughed the great detective.

***

 

\- Ugh, - coughed Holmes, - the more I do not smoke opium.  
\- Strange you have weed, - Watson couldn't stop a cough, pressing a foot dark green plaid, - glitches as live.

***

 

\- What was that? - Holmes adjusted his glasses and glanced at the scraps of black cloth that was lying near the fireplace.  
\- It was plaid, - ominous voice said Watson.  
\- God!

***

 

\- Sherlock? How are you? - John was still pressed to the other, but the force not prevailed over him. Now it has turned into a normal large rug.  
\- I'll live, - gray eyes of the detective met with reddish-grey eyes of the blogger.  
\- What was that? - John, realizing where he is, jumped backwards.  
\- Try to find out...

***

 

\- It is a pity that it all ended, - dreamy murmured Holmes.  
\- More such adventures, I don't, - Watson, violently kicking a large shabby cloth.

6

 

\- This blanket belonged to the ancestor of the Mackenzie and was lost during the war for independence!  
\- You mean, Holmes, that plaid kicks?  
\- I dunno, - drawled Holmes and lit his pipe.

***

 

\- Scottish plaid MacDonald came down from the mountains of Scotland and began to take revenge...  
\- Holmes, your opium is not good for you.

***

 

\- Why plaid is attacking us, Holmes?  
\- Because was a Jew pissed, - replied Holmes.  
\- Fullness, my dear, ' replied Watson, - the blanket attacked us not because of it.  
\- And for what?  
\- He peed out Djigurda, and plaid gone mad.  
\- It is clear.

***

 

\- This blanket has been in the hands of the slasher, - Sherlock gazed sadly at the big brown blanket.  
\- Now I understand - John smiled - it was a strong welcome from the fans.

***

 

\- I liked this thing....  
\- And I, - said Watson.


	92. Revenge

It was pretty worn out pillow Batiste fabric with a faded scarlet pillowcase, sheathed completely crumbled, and the once Golden Genoese lace at the coffin. In the top right corner still loomed a small hole with burnt edges, a reminder of that terrible night 18** years, when Lord Churchill personally shot and killed his first wife, her with the senior groom on the lush marital bed. In the lower left corner stood out clear small gnawed holes. These were the holes from the teeth of Lord Churchill, when his second wife caught him in bed with a young boy.   
But the fullness of this pillow. Although this pillow was lying on the bed Scottish oak, taken in 17** from a family castle the Wallaces, and sold for a pittance to a second-hand furniture dealer, who, in the 19th** sold this bed to one fan of Antiques. It was rumored, however, that the lover of that lover in that bed hug to death and then tried to burn that, of course, did not work. The bed did not burn, the corpse was in the morgue, and a lover in prison. But maybe it's fictions.   
The bed stood in a small room with whitewashed walls, one large window on the wall and a wooden door made out of lumber, but the handle of the door is bent in some strange node and ominously gleamed in the dark corridor, in which continually burned out light bulbs.

The corridor scurrying shadows.   
Who was it?   
Remains unknown. Either it was people or ghosts they were. But the room was empty. Someone periodically appeared in the room, change the sheets. On cotton cambric, cambric and silk. Covered with a quilt, blanket or bedspread and disappeared again. 

Went seconds, minutes, hours, days, months. The room was and fell into the oblivion of abandoned rooms. And once in the room burst into two.   
Who?   
The room had no lamps. But in the window of the moonlight. Consequently, it was night. These two lay down on the bed and began to tear off his clothes, accompanying all this action cries and smacking sounds.   
Room with interest listened. The bed softly creaked. Pillow tensed.

There were two of them.

Who were they?

It doesn't matter.

The room was waiting for action.

The bed was going to take action.

Pillow craved.

When lovemaking became more intense, the pillow wedged between the twisted bodies and began to crawl into the mouth of one of the human species.

Groan.

A wheeze.

Crack.

Another groan, full of flour.

The horrific crash.

And that's it.

The room listened.

Silence.

Bed pushed one body. The body did not respond.

The pillow came out from under the second body in saliva, blood stains, and covered with some white liquid. The pillow was happy. She was loved.

In the morning people came. They removed the body. They cordoned off the room, they were crawling on it and collected hairs and dust. But then people left. And the room was left alone.

Bathroom is waiting for.

The bed is waiting.

Pillow... Pillow took people. Pillow, perhaps happy. But the room knows nothing about the pillow. 

Outside the window was changing landscape, and a room with a bed waiting.


	93. Forever...

1

 

\- Holmes?  
\- What happened, dear friend?  
\- What's that on the wall of your bedroom?  
\- What is it? - Holmes rose from his chair and went to his room. Upon entering and looking around, he noticed on the wall a faded red stain.  
\- You're not hurt, my dear Holmes? – anxiously asked Watson.  
-No, - he answered, bringing his aquiline nose to the wall and carefully examining the spot.  
\- You threw a glass of rum on the wall?! – indignantly said, quietly drew near, Martha Hudson, - Mr. Holmes! Shame on you!  
\- It's not me, - man said the great detective. – What do you want?  
Come police inspector...  
\- Come on, Watson, - Holmes lost interest in the spot.

***

 

\- Holmes.  
\- Yes?  
\- And I brought a gift, - and Watson launched the package. There lay the black silk sheet.  
\- Why is she black?  
\- You don't wash, and dirt is not visible.  
\- Thanks,- grinned Holmes.

***

 

\- Holmes, sit at home today!  
\- Why?  
\- Not your day today, - said Watson, playing with a scalpel in his mouth, - on the street do not walk – the cab smash. Do not eat to choke. Don't sleep – won't Wake up. Experiments do not is going to explode...  
\- And what am I supposed to do?  
\- To think.

***

 

\- Sherlock...  
\- Mmm? – no response except angry grunts.  
\- Miss? - John sat down comfortably with a Cup of tea in the chair and opened the laptop.   
\- Mmm... – mumbled Sherlock, lounging on the couch. - is boring.  
\- Well, find yourself a deal, - said John,- go wash the floors.  
\- No, - Sherlock pointedly turned to the wall.  
\- I'm not a baby, - John flipped through the pages in the networks, then got dressed and left. Sherlock didn't react. 

***

 

\- Joan! – joyfully cried out Holmes, - I came and brought gifts!  
\- Well, what else? - displeased said Watson.  
\- The red piano on the cheap and a whole bag of the red cookies.  
\- Why do we need a piano?  
\- Wanted.

2

 

Night on Baker street.  
-What did you Lestrade? - asked Watson in a nightgown with a candle in hand, heading to his room.  
\- He wanted me tomorrow went to the scene, - was answered from a dense cloud of blue smoke.  
\- What happened?  
\- Several people died from sudden fear.  
\- Well, Holmes, - Watson went back upstairs and went to bed.

At night he was awakened by an inhuman howling coming from the room of the Holmes. Brave Watson jumped out of bed, grabbed a revolver and rushed to help. Running into the room, he saw that the faded spots on the wall stretches a luminous hand and smothers Holmes. Watson shot a spot. There was a deafening crack and stain with hand disappeared.  
\- Thank you, - hoarsely said Holmes, - you saved my life.  
\- Throw the hell out of his opium, - a trembling voice said Watson, - you got so smoky that I also glitches began.

***

 

\- RAAAAAAAA!!!! - yelled Holmes, struggling with black sheets that wrapped itself around him slippery snake. But the sheet was deaf. Holmes flew out of bed, somehow got to his feet and, filling a sleeping London wild cries, rushed into the fog.

***

 

Watson was right. This day was really bad, and the night was even worse. In the dream, Holmes had the feeling that someone is about...  
And Watson woke up from hysterical neighing neighbor. Quickly assembled and, taking a scalpel, he rushed into the room with Holmes. There he saw the following picture, which terrified him to the core. Holmes sailed in ghostly green light, emitted by a huge green fingers wildly and whinnying hysterically.   
\- FUCKING SHUT IT WILL YOU, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!? - with this outcry, Watson attacked the green fingers and ruined them for forty minutes. Holmes quietly planned on the bed and shut up.

***

 

John no returned to Baker street. Sherlock tried to call him, but there was "the Subscriber is temporarily unavailable". SMS also did not pass.   
Sherlock turned on the TV. But the long did not show anything, then it went interference, and a strange voice said:  
\- Sherlock! Sherlock! Hide, Black coffin on wheels were leaving the cemetery! Your street is looking for.   
\- What the hell! - Sherlock's eyes bulged and turned the TV off.  
But then the phone squeaked, uttering a passionate cry.   
\- "John?" - thought Sherlock and turned it on. And there was the text:  
\- "Sherlock! Sherlock! Hide, Black coffin on wheels has found your street, your house is looking for".  
\- 'Shit,' - thought Sherlock and erased the message. Went to the kitchen, drank some tea, have a bite of toast. Opened the laptop... and there is a message.  
\- "Sherlock! Sherlock! Black coffin on wheels is your house found in the room goes".   
Sherlock raised his eyes and just...  
The door enters a black shiny coffin on wheels.   
Sherlock looked at it with displeasure and said:  
\- Time with nicotine patches to quit.   
But then the coffin lid flew open, and in it sat John Watson.   
Sherlock fell back dead.

***

 

\- The more cookies I eat, the sicker I feel, - said Watson. Then he looked at Holmes and said, - who are you, exactly?  
\- Who are you? - Holmes, too, stared at her. Then on reflection, smiled and said, - I'll play the piano.  
Sitting in some jeans, showing off all tattoos, and plays.   
And suddenly the piano was opened.  
\- Oh! - Watson looked inside, - and there you go?  
\- Easily.  
\- Come on.   
Went down, and there...   
Moffat and Gatiss write the script.


	94. Forever....

3

 

\- So what died all these people? - asked Holmes, sucking up.  
\- You will not believe this, Holmes, but witnesses say they saw a flying green goat head! - Lestrade excitedly waving his hands, - although some say it was a green skull.  
\- This is nonsense, - said Sherlock Holmes.

***

 

\- Strange you have a ceiling stain, Holmes, - said Watson, looking at the ceiling.  
\- The blur spot, - said Holmes, laying on the couch face down, - enough small talk.  
\- And your mileage in a sheet on a city forced to shit from fear of Jack the Ripper, - Watson has extracted from sinewy ass Holmes another pellet and dropped it into the bowl. – Well, the guard kept his head and took a pot shot at you.  
\- Yeah. - Hissed Holmes, - the sheet immediately disappeared, and my ass was seventy lead drobin...  
\- But you in favor.

***

 

\- There's been a murder in a music store, - said Holmes, and proudly walked to the door, adjusting his jacket and glasses.  
\- Thank you for saving your worthless life? – yelled Watson, catching up with Holmes, - and in General I am with you.

***

 

\- You'd be careful, Sherlock, - reproachfully uttered John, sitting on the bed lying next to each other.  
\- Why were you in the coffin? - once again asked Sherlock.  
\- Yes there was no tomb, - patiently explained to John, - you're dreaming...  
\- You sat in the black coffin on wheels, - and Sherlock could hear the tears.  
\- Calm down and stop with the drugs, - John got up and left the room.  
\- Are you coming back? – Sherlock sobbed, lost back tears.  
\- Go to sleep.

***

 

\- Where were you, Watson?  
\- Bought gloves, - said Joan and she had a new dress - red long kid gloves, - you know, Holmes, I was approached by a woman with a red face and a red dress, told me that I should not buy these gloves.  
\- Why?  
\- Because, supposedly, if I buy them, all my relatives will die.  
\- Nonsense! - sharply said Holmes, - but to look at it, suddenly she's a killer.

4

 

\- Look!!! – suddenly screamed Lestrade, pointing at the sky. They all looked up. In the sky floated two green heads – a goat and a human skull. All except Holmes, fell dead, and Holmes conducted this phenomenon amused glance.  
\- "All tied with opium, turn on the cocaine!" - thought Holmes.

***

 

\- Stay with me. - begged Holmes Watson, - I'm scared!  
Watson wanted to abandon. The prospect of spending the night next to his half-witted Holmes did not appeal, but then he remembered his Hippocratic oath and agreed.   
Fancy a spot of night fell from the ceiling and began to strangle Holmes. No. Not to smother... she bit into the neck of the poor fellow began with the noise of chomping and blood. Watson somehow tore the spot and threw the window. Holmes was knocked out cold, two wounds on the neck was bleeding. Watson, swearing and cursing, and bound up the sufferer and went to bed.

***

 

Today, the music played,  
Today, the corpse we found!  
\- Who was there?  
\- But the fact of the matter,  
What we came there.  
And there...  
Only white gloves  
Play the music of Chopin.  
And the beams darker than night  
Everyone who wants to escape from there!  
\- How awful to live in the world, Watson!  
I'm dead cut, look!  
\- But I mean, what in the world is perishable...  
Whole life... Art forever.  
\- Come On, Holmes! None of our business  
White gloves to catch,  
Us ghosts don't need,  
We need to live quietly.

 

***

 

\- RAAAAAAAA!!!! JOE-OH-OH-ONNNN!  
A wild cry woke John`s. He jumped up from the bed, clattered down the stairs and burst into the room Sherlock. The detective tossed on the bed and fought back from a huge pillow metre a medical syringe for intravenous injection. John ducked under the syringe, grabbed Sherlock and dragged him to the door. The syringe darted forward... and pinned John to the door, piercing a needle between his shoulder blades and coming in the area of the sternum.  
\- NO!!!! - Sherlock with just Mach punched the syringe chair, and he shattered into small pieces.  
\- John? John? – Picked up friend, took out a long needle, laid on the couch, rushed to call the ambulance, then came back and sat down next to John, holding his wound with his palm.  
\- Just hold on, John?! Just hang in there!!!

***

 

\- You will die! - in the middle of the room materialized the full woman in a red dress and a red face.  
\- Mary Ann!? Is that you? - surprised Holmes.  
\- Do you know her?  
\- Yeah. This bride is my brother - quietly replied Holmes.  
\- Give me back my gloves!  
\- Yes, please - Joan handed her new clothes. The woman took them and disappeared.  
\- Has she died? – asked Watson.  
-No, - Holmes muttered and went to the bathroom


	95. Jammed.

Start

 

\- Holmes, the murder happened!  
\- Yes? And who killed my dear friend? - Holmes looked at Watson excited.  
\- Actually killed nine people, - began to explain to Watson, brandishing a newspaper. – Poor London folk!  
\- I think we need to help the inspector, - suddenly agreed Holmes.

***

 

\- Holmes, Wake up! - Watson broke into the dwelling of Holmes and began to drag the fact out of bed.  
\- What happened? – dissatisfied grumbled Holmes.  
\- The murder happened. Strange and incomprehensible...  
\- Well, well, - Holmes began to get up.

***

 

\- I have a dead!!! – enthusiastically yelled Watson, feverishly going.  
\- Again?  
\- Not again, and again!!! Nine sweet, fresh, cute the corpse. Cheers!!!!  
\- Have to go with you, - sighed Holmes.

***

 

\- Sherlock, we have a new case.  
\- Are you sure, Greg?  
\- One hundred percent Sherlock. Terribly confused, - Greg grinned, - and John was in the morgue.  
\- I'll be going....

***

 

\- I found the corpse, said Holmes, stepping over the threshold of the house.  
\- Where? – vigilantly asked Watson.  
\- Lying on the porch.  
\- Come on, let's see...

The plot

 

-Is unheard of!!! – resent Lestrade, - nine distinguished Londoners!  
\- Who are they? – asked Holmes.  
\- Cavalry major James Stewart.  
\- He's dead?  
\- Grandson.  
\- Peter Guillam.  
\- Spy?  
\- No. A namesake. Henry Clark – an ordinary Londoner, Freddie, last name not know, because he is not from the city, the naturalist Joseph Hooker, namesake of the famous actor, Humphrey Bogart, Charles Aiken, Jr. Parker and writer Alexander masters.  
\- And who killed them? – surprise said Watson.  
\- And you do that, - replied Lestrade.

***

 

\- How can you kill people who are already dead? - yelled Watson, - Vincent van Gogh is dead! William pitt, too!!  
\- But in the morgue is someone who looks like him,- lazily said Holmes.  
\- How can you kill a person if he did not exist? Victor Frankenstein was not!  
\- And a corpse.  
\- Well, Stephen Hawking is clear, and with Julian Assange...  
\- Except that in our world they no do exist there... And the rest?  
\- Someone Harry Larkins, Mr. Wallace, Stephen Ezard is a mathematician and some Jeremy...  
\- We seek, - grinned Holmes, and puffed a pipe.

***

 

-So,- Watson greedily examined the field of activity, - let's start! The first corpse.  
\- RPG by the name of William Carey. – He answered, after reading the tag.  
\- Second.  
\- Patrick watts is a teacher.  
\- Third.  
\- Bandit named Bill Bulger.  
\- Fourth.  
\- An American by the name of Ford...  
\- The fifth.  
\- Nice guy from Yorkshire – Luc Fitzwilliam.  
\- Sixth.  
\- A nobleman named Edmund Tabolt.  
\- Seventh.  
\- The FBI is Nick Kaufman.  
\- No luck. Eighth.  
\- Some David.  
\- And the last.  
\- Robin, but not the hood.  
\- All right, - Watson waved his scalpel, - I cut them all open, and you go, Holmes, and find who killed them all. 

***

 

\- Who are our bodies? - asked Sherlock.  
-Yes, - John scored in the laptop and showed to Sherlock,- look.  
\- Paul Marshall – the military, the Christopher Tietjens is an aristocrat, the Slipper, Rory is the son of a physician from the hospital of St. Bartholomew, a young student Warren Reid, another man by the name of sterling. The guy, dying of cancer, named James. Stephen Strange - microsurgery, a strange type named Necromancer and a petty clerk from MI6 – Edvard Hund.  
\- Listen, John, why are they so similar?  
\- Mystery, Sherlock, - John smiled.

***

 

\- Nine corpses, - Holmes took a SIP of coffee, - and that the bodies we got?  
\- A Charles – a boy of sixteen, Lieutenant Jimmy Langley, beast resembles the dragon. Two twin brothers Joe and Charlie, a guy named Bernard, there is still some Khan, Chinese... not like Another type, generally mutilated, without first and last name and Richard III...  
\- Richard III is dead, - answered Holmes. – We will seek.

The culmination

 

\- Well, Holmes, how are you doing? – asked the inspector, - and where the good doctor?  
\- In the morgue, - answered Holmes, stuffing tube, - three tubes and I understand exactly what happened.  
\- And what do we have?  
\- Body jam. Thoroughly so. Looks like some kind of animal.  
\- You want to say, Holmes, what in London wandering monster? - Lestrade was terrified.  
\- Currently, I do not claim.  
\- Well, I too have taken some steps...

***

 

\- Someone smokes opium, - Watson sat in the armchair, - dead like a big dog their thumb.  
\- But we the hound of the Baskervilles swatting?  
\- Maybe she has puppies?  
\- It was a dog, Watson.  
\- Sure, Holmes?  
\- Sure.

***

 

\- How you doing, Watson?  
-Very well,- said Watson, wiping the scalpel, - is a mess, fuck that tell. Body knackered, bedraggled, bones shattered...  
\- But a verdict what? – quite unceremoniously interrupted Holmes.  
\- Someone had a bite, - but Watson didn't notice it,- someone is not very hungry.

***

 

\- I don't understand,- grumbled Sherlock, lying on the couch with three nicotine patches on his arm, - dead to each other no contact, didn't know, didn't work...  
\- I don't know either, - John sat in the chair, - who has obtusely them so that they know what people like?  
\- I think, John, think...

***

 

\- What do you say, Joan?  
\- What can I say? - replied Watson, - not like me at all. The case smells bad. What do you have?  
\- The moon is full, nobody knows anything, nobody saw anything, the victim's friend was known. I don't like these things...

Interchange

 

\- What is it, Holmes?! - frightened Watson rushed to the other, barely crossed the threshold of the bedroom. Mrs. Hudson said that Mr. Holmes a week won't get out of bed.  
\- Are you sick?  
\- Life seizes me, Watson? - said Holmes - give me your hand, my dear friend, for I'm leaving you. A couple of days, and life will eat me...   
\- No! – pathetically exclaimed Watson, - I will stay with you. And let the life of my eats...   
In the room there was silence, which was broken Watson.  
\- Holmes, but perhaps life can eat a person?

***

 

\- Mark, Watson, Holmes waved his hand, - I am leaving.  
\- Hell, - said Watson, - get your ass out of bed! For you business!  
-No, - faintly murmured Holmes, - the opium was over, and life began to devour me...  
\- You're Sherlock Holmes, you can't seize life!!!  
\- Maybe Watson, maybe - Holmes closed his eyes and stretched.

***

 

\- What is it, Holmes?  
\- I'm going out, Watson, - said Holmes and crawled under the covers.  
\- What the hell? - get Watson.  
\- I'm dying... I Give you my body...  
\- Do not even think, - Watson pulled Holmes with a quilt - one I'm going to scare?  
\- My life is jammed, I'm leaving...

***

 

\- John!!! John!!?? - Sherlock was shaking by the shoulders lethargic and apathetic to everything John, - what the hell are you doing?!  
-Leave me - at last faintly murmured John, - I'm sick of it.  
\- Fuck you! - Sherlock dragged John to the kitchen. Poured a Cup of tea, slipped the dish, - eat, undisclosed at us and it hangs...  
\- Leave me, I'm stuck in the home, and its sticky tentacles trailing me already....  
\- John... - Sherlock stared at each other.  
\- What happened, Sherlock? - John finally looked meaningfully at the detective.

***

 

\- I am weak - Holmes washed drunken tears on the shoulder Watson, - I'm pathetic, I don't know how.  
\- Holmes, shut the hell up, - Joan tried to push him away...  
\- Don't leave me, - cried Holmes, - without you I will die, my life will seize!!!  
\- What did you say, Holmes? – Joan Watson moved and looked at him.  
\- I didn't say anything. - cried Holmes.

The final.

 

\- We cracked the case!!! – yelled Watson.  
\- What are you, doctor? - Holmes sat down on the bed.  
\- They are all STUCK the way of LIFE!!! Holmes, you are a genius!!!  
\- In this case the credit belongs to you, Watson!

***

 

\- You just solved it! – yelled Watson, Holmes sending a powerful hook to the knockout.  
\- The fuck did you hit me?! -said Holmes, getting up from the floor.  
\- You solved the case!  
\- Bloody hell, - said Holmes, and passed out again.

***

 

\- You was the stuff of life, and also life eat, - muttered Watson and suddenly yelled, - Holmes, you've just solved the case!!!  
\- How is it?  
\- The household ate them because they were so greasy... 

***

 

\- You broke the case, John, - Sherlock grabbed his friend in a hug.  
\- Are you crazy, - John tried to push each other.  
\- We have solved it, and thanks to you!!! - Sherlock buried his face in Watson's hair.  
\- Hey, what did I say?  
\- They've stuck a life, John!!! And you he wanted to jam!!?? – Sherlock's voice sounded strangled.  
\- Well, just let me go...  
Sherlock released his hold, and Watson slumped back into his chair.

***

 

\- You seized life and dead also was the stuff of life... You solved the case, Holmes!  
\- I still have a shit - cried Holmes.  
\- But though criticism will learn, - said Watson.


	96. Rainy mood

Today my mood matches the weather.

The rain shower in the rain outside the window. 

Outside, the rain goes with the night. He just goes on and on, without stopping. All wet and damp. Fresh leaves are hung, the earth has turned to mud. Normal may rain.

DDT - Rain

 

The rain, ringing haze filled the sky may rain...  
Thunder, thundered on the roofs, scared of all the thunder cats  
I opened the window, and a merry wind scattered everything on the table —  
Silly poems that I wrote in a stuffy and dull emptiness

May the thunder rang out, rough and fun, panaway wave  
Washed over. Hey, get up there and jump up and down after me,  
Come on out to the yard and run through the puddles at least until the morning:  
Look how worn the funny and sacred children

Drops on the face — it's just rain, maybe I cry,  
The rain cleansed everything, and soul, zahlyupav, suddenly soaked me,  
The stream flowed away from the house to Sunny, nekoshenom meadows,  
Turned into vapor, with the wind flew to an uncharted, unknown worlds...

And presented I: the city suddenly is flooded with cheerful people  
Came the rain, a chorus was singing, and dancing, hell,  
Forgetting about the shame and danger after the complication of getting sick,  
People in the rain as a salute, met the thunder the first thunder of spring...

But our rain is cold and nasty. 

And, in my heart also the rain, the same gray, cold, nasty...

I wiped out and tired. 

Me nothing happy.

I have lots of ideas, but I don't get the essence of these ideas.

And see in dreams of death and blood. 

I see disaster.

I see... and who cares?

Only I. This is my story, whispered by Hypnos...

I found myself, but lost something very important. Lost and can't find it. But I want to find. Maybe I lose myself again? Then I will have fun. If I go and lose yourself, I will get used to the lack of computer and lack of a mobile phone in the presence of both.

Who wants me? 

Do I need here?

Do I need there?

Is there someone who can tell what I need, except relatives?

Is there such a person? 

And if so, where?

In my soul it's raining. And outside the window it rains. And both create rain in my soul a stunning Symphony that soothes me. I'm going to sleep. I'll sleep happily ever after. And I will dream the lucid dream.


	97. Sturdy loop

There once was a writer.

Stars in the sky are not enough.

Myself wrote strong stories and was full.

But unhappy with this was pretty.

Wanted this writer to write such a book, for which he immediately received all the literary prize existing in the world.

But he did not succeed. 

And then one day he heard about the maniac. Without thinking, he called my buddy who worked in the police, and asked him to co-sponsor. The man agreed, took the paper and took them to the writer.  
They sat in the living room, and for a beer and chips man told the terrible truth.  
\- Maniac this – this beast is elusive. It uses a noose with a stick. The noose around the neck of the victim and puts the stick tightening the rope. No one is spared – children, adults, old people, domestic animals – all strangles. Comes in a multi-storey building. On the top floor will rise and well to scour the apartment. Until the morning a few floors and I'll kill all... no.  
\- Why is it still not caught? – asked the writer.  
\- And because we have no witnesses, - said the man. – No no.  
\- Let's work together - suggested the writer, - I'm my own great novel about a maniac writes, and you will catch.  
\- All right, - agreed buddy.

And flowed workdays. 

Maniac intensified. 

The list of victims has passed for one thousand.

He choked everyone.

He didn't Rob.

Didn't get raped.

No blood.

No evidence.

No trace.

The police were trying to find.

The writer wrote.

\- How's it going? - asked a friend of the writer, when they were sitting at a table under a canopy of fragrant bunches of cherry.  
\- I feel that he is somewhere near, - said to the writer, - it seems that he's following me.  
\- No, hardly, ' replied this man, - your novel is not published, so why would he follow you?  
\- I feel it stopped the writer, - there he is! – if historically he screamed, pointing to the squat little man, - is he!  
\- You sit, I now, - buddy grabbed the phone.

In the evening the writer couldn't sleep. The man was detained, but he was huge and strong alibi. Suddenly the phone came the message – "I'm waiting for you at the zoo". The writer got scared, dropped SMS to a friend and rushed to the zoo. Climbed the fence and began to silently sneak through the dark alleys. And in the exposition of predators the writer has seen the light. He went over there. At the rope bridge there was a type in black hoodies and doing something.  
\- I know that you are the maniac killer! – cried the writer, - and I will stop you!  
Climbed on a rope bridge. Went through it, transfixed with terror, and grabbed the figure's shoulder. Unknown turned around and threw on the writer loop, the writer took the loop and slipped over the unknown. Saw a stick and began to twist it.  
\- I'll kill you, - cried a writer.

But what is it?

With each turn sticks to the writer it was hard to breathe. But he never gave up. He twisted and twisted...

When the police broke into the building, they saw the following... On rope bridges hung a cocoon... In front of the police, the cocoon broke and fell on the concrete floor. Buddy ran up and started to untangle the ropes. And under the ropes proved to be... a writer. Dead. On his neck was a noose, and in his hands – a stick.


	98. BIGGGGGG

Popular magazine "BIGGGGGG". From issue 14, 2015.

 

On the cover – miss Bun - bumblebee 1966.

The table of contents.

Page 2 Category. Article

Honey – truth or fiction?

Page 5 Rubric. The secrets of the craft.

Which colors get more jam?

Page 7 Rubric. Homemade tips for fashionistas. 

Fashionable shades of color. 

Page 9 Rubric. Faces of nature. 

Bees. Wasps. Bumblebees. Rolls - bumblebees. Mutants or the crowns of nature?

Page 11 Category. Household.

Socket in the TARDIS – the advantages and disadvantages. 

Page 15 Rubric. For the little ones.

The tale of how the Doctor and the Daleks were chasing.

Paint a Roll - bumblebee.

Help the Doctor reach the TARDIS.

Page 19 Category. Unknown

People? Who are they? 

Page 23 

Crossword.

Bumble-bee jokes.

Announcement.

Magazine "Bizziboy" - for the most manly Bun - bees.

 

On the cover – miss Bun - bumblebee 2000

Read the article from the old Roll - bumblebee in the world.

"I SAW EVERYTHING". 

"HOT ORGY IN THE TARDIS"

The revelation of the Scarves – "Whose neck is the sexiest?"

Sociological survey.

Who had been in the TARDIS is the most courageous and sexy? 

Who among the companions of the Doctor are the most feminine?

The advice of a psychologist

HOW TO LOOK LIKE THE MOST MASCULINE ON THE LAWN AND HAVE SUCCESS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? 

Crossword

Dirty jokes


	99. Summer mood

1

 

\- Kind sir, Mr. Hills, I now will commit an act of vandalism on your wood, - said the titular councillor Magnussen and peed in the extinct fireplace.  
\- Dear sir Magnussen, yeah do you care whether you're heading out in a well-known place, otherwise I'll be forced to commit violent acts against you, - kindly said state councillor of the Hills, picking up the poker.

2

 

\- I hate Holmes, damn it! - Lestrade muttered, stuffing his mouth with pizza.  
\- Hate? So do not eat, - answered Watson.

3

 

\- I'm sure the doctor that my new shoes were standing next to the fireplace! And where are they?  
\- Holmes, - up Watson, - I have no idea.  
\- Where's my pipe?  
\- I don't know, Holmes...  
\- How did you get so much money, dear friend?  
\- The translation came, - and Watson strenuously clapped eyes.  
\- I do not understand, - muttered the great detective.  
\- "Where are you, you old bastard?" - thought Watson, - "you know how much money my fans are willing to give for your stuff?!"

4

 

\- What is it? – a dark voice asked Kirk Spock, handing him two scarves, one of which was blue, and the second - long and striped.  
\- Scarves, captain, - replied Spock.  
\- I see, - angrily replied Kirk, - whose they are and how they got aboard the Enterprise? And even in my cabin?  
\- Let's find out, - with cold equanimity said Spock.

5

 

\- Brogan, - said the captain Podly, - we have detained three persons and a suspicious vehicle. Find out who they are.  
\- Yes, captain, - replied Lieutenant Patrick Brogan and hastened into the chamber of detention. 

On arrival there he found that his partner Jack Holden is talking to a dark-haired woman.  
\- Who are they? - asked Brogan partner.   
\- Donna Noodle, Doctor Ten and Jack Harkness.  
\- What do you do?  
\- Travel through time and space, - grinning down at her, Jack said.  
\- I see,- sighed Patrick.


	100. Olya-lya

Hello, my readers!

You are a lousy pirater welcomed!

I feel so good right very good that I drank half a Cup of Mead. Know how good it is!  
Another drink, then. I love you all and try your bullshit energy to write.

Well, okay.   
Doctors don't understand and don't like, so everything I write about doctors - there's banter.  
Sherlock Holmes and the other - banter.  
And the rest of fandom - BANTER!  
Well, with regards to original works - they say there is humor there... Well, all this, of course, nonsense...But there I don't know, no kidding, are responsible for it.

So it's Olya-La-La!

And where's the exit?  
I think I will go...

Thanks to everyone who reads me and who writes kind reviews!

When I read your reviews, I want to continue to write.  
Well, guys... no need to shout at me that I was jiving at Kavun. Kavun took banter over which is not a sin to have a little fun.   
And don't need to yell that mozgovynosyaschie write fics, do you write? I have half the brain resource makes just.

Yes, I'm experimenting!  
Experimenting with text and genres.   
With the heroes.  
With realities.  
And why not?  
I do not write slash.  
Maybe my fics are romantic and bright...

Why I can't I do that?

Thank God I read!

YAY! YAY! YAY!

My readers, I to you so long to come!

So don't blame me. 

FIC about Grandma - was about GRANDMA! I was asked to write about GRANDMA, I did it. All the conditions are met - Grandma, Pookie and pies. About Dracul didn't happen. And Grandma at that time was a free woman. So what's-you-call - Drakulita-Pervie - Vampire, go grumble elsewhere.


	101. Oddity.

Disputes appear here, who am I really?

And it doesn't matter, my dear readers.

Who wouldn't be — a fat old man of seventy, aunt fifty years, ten years kid, the kid is seventeen... What's the difference who I am or what I am?

Can I do the green bald alien.

Maybe I'm crippled or ugly?

Whatever you want — and called...

Here they say is evident by the text that something is suspicious? Hmm. And if you read the rest? Hardened girl of thirty, with a husband and five children — when you read the rating of writers of this resource. And then they start to see the comments — God is with you — fifteen, maybe more, maybe less according to age. Very brilliant writers. Find slash where it never was.

Immediately warn you — I'm not alone. Even when I had no living friends, I had books. These friends will never leave me.

I am grateful to those who became my friend.

I am grateful to those who read.

I'm thankful this resource is here you can experiment with.

I am grateful that I NOW have a computer.

But I don't want to hear squabbles in their reviews. Want to say something substantive, to indicate the shortcomings — in a personal email.  
If you keep yelling at me and swearing, insult — sorry, I don't have to answer you. And if I'll keep your feedback, as a specimen of bad taste.

And about the poems. Don't need to teach me how to write them. Poems are different — from white to haiku and prose poems. Either you write them or not. I can accept that not all poems that are presented in my fanfiction or separately, directly brilliant... Yes, there are more good, there is bad, there are very sucks... I admit my mistakes, but don't need to teach me HOW to do it.

I'm not Leo Tolstoy and I never will be.  
I don't Fyodor Dostoevsky.  
And not Pushkin.  
I'm not even Ray Bradbury and Harry Harrison.

And classics there were many writers and poets whose names are lost in history. The only plus in that is they had no Internet, and therefore, their masterpieces have not survived.

So guys.  
I ask you again, don't need to snap at me.  
I'm going to write. Like you, not like my opinions.  
This opinion coincides with yours or not — I do not care.  
On the informative reviews in detail the answer. Politely answer. If you don't believe — ask my readers.


	102. Song about monsters

Here live here jackass,  
That is to say freaks.  
Wear lenses and glasses,  
Spit on fashion.  
I love books and reading,  
At once forget about the food.  
Gonna eat a sandwich  
And not following a trend.

 

I say to myself, let's write a masterpiece.  
But then I tell myself no, I can't write. I - freak!  
And then they take and write.  
Yeah, maybe not something brilliant... but maybe someone will like it.  
Basically, I'm a polite person and very polite, but if I'm really from myself to withdraw, for example, to wash the bones about in my FIC, to pry into my personal life - I can send. Far to send. And very catchy.   
Walk, don't walk is none of my business.  
What I write, that's the essence of my life, thinking about the dream that I see.  
You can accuse me of all sorts of horrors, but Hey, if you have a resource created to as grandfather Krylov "what, not afraid of sin,the cuckoo praises Rooster?For what he praises the Cuckoo", then of course, I have nothing to do here, since I'm very carefully looking for, so I could praise...

Then you say - what you wrote is stupid garbage.   
Okay.  
And others write exceptionally brilliant things? Do not make laugh my Slippers. If "50 shades of grey" managed to go from the category of fanfiction in the movie, and it does not mean anything. And it's not a masterpiece, even if the author refused it and referred to another author. You also dream to become famous this way? Yes, please. Who's stopping you. Write and write. 

Ah, my life did not work, Ah, I'm such a lonely person...  
What makes you think that? I'm fine. I'm fine. And I'm not a lonely man. Not to have a girlfriend or boyfriend for sex, it does not mean to be lonely. This is normal. This allows you to watch people through the prism of a single individual. I have friends. There are my heartfelt readers, my favorite co-authors. It is enough for me.   
I can email them and they will help me.  
I can walk where I want...  
I can enjoy life.  
I can bring a rainbow to any person.  
I can give joy.  
And you come in and start yelling...

Why are you yelling?   
I write about doctors? Wanted.  
About Sherlock? Why not?  
About Hiro? And what? I write about Sasha, and Mirka 30, and about the Marquis... For this plant to be? Or you got Sherlok group, Doctors group?   
You know, I don't care about you... only himself badly doing when yelling. True.  
I accept criticism when it specifically on the product, but when it is on the principle of "rocks hit him, he's not our area" - this is not a criticism. This guys attacks. But if it attacks, I understand that you envy me a lot, so try to , kick... nice try. I'll stay here as much as I want to. My SIS did. Okay, she sent you too, Yes she is polite.

SO JUST SAY - DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY. YOU, OF COURSE, IT WILL BE GOOD,BUT IF I LET YOU SEND LITTLE YOU WILL NOT FIND.


	103. The tale of the princes.

There were princes.   
However, they lived in different fairy tales. But they regularly fall in love with beautiful princesses, saved them from monsters and then lived happily ever after.

But one day one Prince, let's call him Justin, was riding another rescue another Princess. The path ran through a wonderful dense forest. Symmetrical rows of dark green trees gave way to gnarled trunks of oak trees. Between the trees grew blue dodder, clover pink and bright green grass. And on one of the turns on Prince Justin jumped out of the tree legged man in tight green tights.

\- Give me your money! - cried the man, - or I will deprive you of life!  
\- Yeah I have no money! - was justified Justin, - I'm going to save the Princess!  
\- Well, then, - the man drew his gun.  
-Hey, - keen said Justin, - Yes you're cool!  
\- Really? - shy guy, - my name is Robin Largish.  
\- Me and Justin de Apstic.  
\- Oh! - rather said Robin - do not want to check?  
\- I would, - replied Justin. Dismounted, tied it to a branch of an oak tree and began from his armor to get rid of. And after that, they went with Robin on the green grass and began to love each other.

How long this case lasted, the story ignores. But at that time drove on this path is another chuzhedalnie Prince, with the Princess he was driving. And sees a horse grazing, armor scarlet lying in the grass steel flashing. Thought the Prince, and if there is anything bad. Dismounted, sword in hand picked up and went, by moans focusing. Passed through the meadow, the branches of hawthorn hand opened and beheld a picture the amazing.  
Stood on the grass the young man skin white, hair red in the pose of cancer, and next to him stood another with tanned skin. And here exclaimed the Prince:  
\- What are you doing?  
\- I'm milking it, - replied man - what's your name?  
\- Not heard I that about the customs of your country, - said the Prince - and all you milking?  
\- All, - answered dolwick, clutching the milking machine young men.  
\- Me and milk? - continued to question the Prince, language of clicks from the fine work of dolwick.  
\- And you will, - said both.  
\- My name is Philip Longdin.  
\- Join us, - replied man - my name is Robin Largish and Justin de Apstic.

And he has acceded to them.  
And then joined Eric Alloverall.  
And then John Sydik.  
A few hours later two more arrived - Charles Virgial and Robert Boyles. 

And lived all these princes a long, happy and died in one day from overwork.   
But the Princess never received it and went into the feminist movement.


	104. Of The Passions...

\- Houston! Can you hear me?  
\- Yes we hear you! What happened?  
\- We were attacked bacteria... AAAAAAA!!!  
\- Board 45678Х890? Reply!

***

 

\- What is this squeak, Holms? — whistled one little creature who tried to take the outlines of the human body.  
\- No idea, Docktorr, - can the second creature, much longer than the first and had the wavering outlines.

***

 

\- Who you send in there? — ruined the chief of the cosmodrome.  
\- As a what? Jeremy Holmes and Doctor Robert.  
\- And where are they? Why don't contact?  
\- We have connection!!!

***

 

\- Houston Board 45678Х890! Houston Board 45678Х890!  
\- I have everything in order...  
\- What happened to you? You are kind of vague.  
\- anything good we had eaten.  
\- Doctor why...

***

 

\- How can I make it repeat, - angrily rustled ameboid creature to his younger brother, — you don't eat the brains of human beings! They harm us.  
\- And for me... there is nothing sweeter, - answered blue amoeba, - when we have our next capture?  
\- Get to the MKS, there may be able to profit.


	105. The consequences of SMS

Late at night came three SMS.  
From the same number.  
But Mick had learned about them only when he began to get ready for work.  
-"I love you".  
\- "Miss you"  
\- "Let's meet"

\- "Well, he's such a jerk!" - with a strange tenderness thought Mick, looking at the display, where the displayed number of the sender, - "I have work to do. If you're lucky, I'll meet you after five in the evening near Randy''s Donuts". Such SMS sent and Mick.

Lucky he is.   
On this day, and he was a hot - +40 C, +104 Fahrenheit - no one killed, no one was robbed. All the criminals sat in the shade and drank soft drink.   
Even mystical-alien field nothing mystical happened.

Mick left the precinct in forty-four and about five hours arrived at Randy''s Donuts. Despite the heat, Mick went to work on the bike. It's so great when you're blowing, even hot, but the wind.

Near palchikovoy stood a lanky type with black wavy hair, dressed in a light blue plaid shirt with short sleeves, black jeans and woven shoes.  
\- You look better! – said the man Mick`s, carefully examining the fact, - white t-shirt, blue jeans and sandals.   
\- You're nice too. On, wear a helmet. Don't want to get fined by his own.  
Lanky nodded, put on his helmet and sat on the motorcycle.   
Mick hit the gas, and the motorcycle disappeared in the haze of a hot melting city.

It took an hour, and when Mick pulled up next to the porch, the sun began setting behind the horizon.  
\- Snezhana, I came! - shouted Mick.  
\- Well! – responded the voice of Snezana from behind the trees.  
\- Guest I brought.  
\- Great. Will lay by the pool.

And after a light dinner, Mick and Ben went to the pier. Sat on the jetty, feet dangling towards the water and stared at the water. Mick didn't ask why Ben decided to come. Ben was silent.

The sun was setting into the ocean. The sky was smudged with pale yellow color, blurring the boundaries between the Golden halo of the sun and the quickly darkening sky. The last rays gilded sapphire expanse of water, if you can split it in smaller waves. But it was there, on the horizon, and in a small artificial lagoon near the land Mick`s, the water quickly darkened and acquired a dark green color with a steel shimmer. 

Mick looked up at the sky, the water and slipped off the jetty into the water. Ben chuckled, took off his jeans, shirt, shoes and dived after each other.   
The water was warm, but cool. Warm - to cool the surface... in depth. Ben gladly swam and dived, cooled in sea water. Then he came to the footbridge and shook his head. 

The sun finally sank beyond the horizon, left on horizon gold quickly fading stripes.

It is. Mick did not return to the catwalk, and swam to shore. Ben swam to the other setting, the benefit that he sat in the surf, hugging her knees. Benedict crawled out of the water nearby and looked at each other. He sat and looked out at the water, calm and indifferent. Ben didn't like it. He rose to his feet, went to bridges, got his clothes and returned to shore. The shirt and shoes he was wearing and pulled on jeans. Ben sat Mick`s down to the right angle, and very gently began to choke the man to his feet. Mick didn't fight back. He was strangely relaxed. And just quietly lay his head on Ben's lap.  
Mick looked up at the sky. Pale yellow color turned to a green bottle, then gradually turned into dark color of beryl, and then dissolved in a dark blue.   
Mick felt the fingers of Ben stroking his chest, collarbone, neck, face.   
But he was so warm and nice.   
Came on him the grace.   
Nirvana.  
No matter what happened to him, but it was just in time.

Ben stroked his friend's fingertips and thought to himself: - "My little carnivorous kitten. Such a dangerous. This is calmly relaxed. Look at you like a predator... And really, you're a gentle, sensitive and infinitely kind... God, I missed you! I'm sure you'd say that, but not now... not Now. Now you're relaxed, you feel good, and if I'm going to say anything, it'll just ruin the magic it's twilight... I really want to kiss you... But... okay Then..." 

Mick seems to be dozing with his eyes open.  
He was happy.

Ben decided to raise buddy.   
Yes, iron just fine, but Benedict wanted to kiss, to lick... He began to hold Mick`s back.   
Arranged.   
Mick reclined now in the hands Cumberbatch, and he stroked it, stroked it, then bent her head and licked the collarbone of the other.   
Salty... but tasty...  
Ben kissed his friend's neck, collarbone... and then he wanted...

No, not sex.   
He couldn't do that to Mick`s.  
It was wrong.  
Because now Mick`s was good. Ben knew that if Mick is against, to be touched, he would have immediately told you about it.   
Broke.  
Barked.  
Left from the jetty.  
Returned to the house.  
But this did not happen.  
Why?  
So Mick wanted to touch him?  
Then maybe he, Benedict, today are lucky and he'll get something memorable?  
Anything can happen.

Mick is suddenly stirred, blinked, smiled wanly, patted Ben's cheek and kissed him on the lips.  
Gently.  
Weightless.  
Ben thought his lips touched the warm wind...  
Or it was the touch of butterfly wings?  
Ben did not really have time to feel the kiss, to absorb, as Mick trustingly leant against his shoulder and fell asleep.  
Ben at first was upset, then smiled, hugged his friend, hugged him: - "Sleep, my kitten, sleep... Everything will be fine". 

Snezhana was lying in the conjugal bed and quietly jealous. But not much. It was Mick. And Mick`s could be trusted.


	106. Summer heat

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, dear friend? - the great detective was going to be oatmeal.   
\- Have you ever been in a brothel?  
\- Why do you ask? - had asked Holmes.  
\- I was just passing by - began to tell Watson, - and saw a fight between two drunken gentlemen.  
\- No, I wasn't in a brothel yesterday, - said Holmes, and began to eat porridge.

***

 

\- Holmes? Did you not yesterday put up a fight in a brothel at Katie Cheshire?  
\- Me?! -Holmes stared at Watson, - the Lord have mercy, I wasn't even here!  
\- Don't deny it, Holmes - contemptuously replied Watson, - I have ten witnesses and one victim.  
\- Nothing know - pursing his lips, Holmes.

***

\- Holmes! I saw you yesterday in a brothel! - Watson leaned against the jamb and began thoughtfully to pick at his teeth with a scalpel.  
\- Okay. I was there, - did not deny Holmes, - but what were you doing there, Watson?  
\- Was on business.  
\- Really? And what about Martha?  
\- Go, Holmes, inspector to help...

***

\- John?  
\- Yes?  
\- You work part time in a brothel?  
\- No.  
\- But I saw you!?  
\- Then let me ask... What the hell are you doing in a brothel?  
\- Investigated the crime, - without batting an eye, replied Sherlock.  
\- Hmm.

***

\- HOLMES!?  
\- JOAN!?  
\- WHY YOU?  
\- And who do you want? - muttered Holmes, - to the time you came, all sorted...  
\- The next time the casino will go, - Joan chuckled and left to sleep on the couch.


	107. Beach conversations.

\- Holmes?! Where did you get this suit? - Watson's jaw dropped when he saw what was arrayed his friend.  
\- Found at home, - said Holmes and the fun of his naked lean torso, and skinny knees, ran to the sea.  
\- Something's off here, ' said Watson, and it's important stepping into his new gated beach striped suit, went to the cool waves. 

***

\- What are you wearing? - eyes bulged Watson - it's obscene!  
\- And what? - cheerfully replied Holmes, - I'm not naked!  
\- But in the same underwear!?  
\- You are a bore, - and Holmes ran off to bathe.  
\- I may be a nerd, but you, Holmes, are you crazy, - Watson grunted, adjusted his blue and white striped tights and started walking towards the sea.

***

\- Holmes! In underwear forbidden to bathe!  
\- And the apron too!  
\- I'm on you Lestrade complains.  
\- Lestrade and myself in the same bathing hat.   
\- Pervert!

***

\- John?  
\- What happened?  
\- Oh, - Sherlock gulped, - why are they all naked in here?  
\- Nudist beach.  
\- And... we also have to undress?  
\- Of course.  
\- Can I remain in shorts?  
\- It is impossible, - said John, took off all her clothes and his white ass, dived into the sea.  
-Yeah, - Sherlock looked around nervously, but nobody was paying attention, undressed, and slipped into the cool water.

***

\- Joan?  
\- Yes?  
\- Why do you not extreme - bikini?  
\- Then why are you wearing boxers and not a Thong?  
\- I'm a man! And so I look cooler!  
\- Man? Fu! - Joan and deliberately turned away.


	108. Sadness

\- Buy the glue. Heart stick together, the tape is wrapped, — muttered under his breath to himself Watson, sitting by the fireplace.  
\- What happened? — asked Holmes.  
\- And then you don't know?  
\- You were abandoned Mary?  
\- No.  
\- But you're married to Mary.  
\- Married.  
\- Irene Adler?  
\- I was a stranger to her.  
\- Then who?  
\- Guess yourself!

***

 

\- Years of sadness, a drop — tear drop of summer rain that fell and fell into my hand yesterday, flowed and vanished...   
\- Watson? What are you so sad? Poetry mumbling a lot. Not stoned you my opium?  
\- No.  
\- What happened?  
\- I got dumped...  
\- Wife? Inspector? Patients?  
\- Worse, Holmes, worse...

***

\- Watson? You're a quiet. What happened?  
\- Holmes, stop joking...  
\- I'm just asking, - replied Holmes.  
\- Broke up with me.  
\- Martha?  
\- No, damn it! Lestrade!  
\- ...  
\- Martha, of course.  
\- And what floor?

***

\- Sherlock?  
\- What?  
\- What's wrong with you? You're quiet today.  
\- Nothing.  
\- Come on, spill it.  
\- I'm bored.  
\- What happened? Give it a try.  
\- Broke up with me.  
\- Who?  
\- ......  
\- I?  
\- Yes, you. You stopped to communicate with me and listen to my reasoning, and I conclude that you found more interesting the interlocutor.  
\- So what?  
\- Nothing.

\- Sherlock?  
\- Yes?  
\- You're a big lanky smart idiot.

***

 

\- I am with you, Holmes, not talking!  
\- A boycott?  
\- ...  
\- Okay, I'm with you too not talking.


	109. Stranger in red

My beautiful stranger, I've been watching you. I know all about you, or almost everything. Your life flows before my eyes, or rather in front of the binoculars. You're beautiful and happy. Your husband is lucky...  
I thought at first that it's your lover, but there are signs in it calculated husband. And this guy loves you very much.  
You're so beautiful, just a magical dream. My beautiful tale. You have wavy black hair, dark skin, large Breasts, round buttocks, plump belly, small hands and slender legs. On the left leg you're wearing a bracelet made of shells. He is very dear to you. On the right hand you have a silver bracelet in the form of two serpents with green eyes. You're very fond of black and red lace lingerie. Is your bedroom green and enlivened with three pots of tea roses — scarlet, crimson and simply red.  
Have you been an Illustrator of children's books. I saw your books. I bought them all and flip through them before looking up at you. Your paintings are bright and vivid. They are different children's spontaneity.  
You love to wear airy dresses in floral print. And flowers on your dresses of bright and happy, just like you.

Oh, I didn't introduce myself. I live in the next house. My bedroom is in front of your Windows. And I already spend a lot of time for what's looking at you through binoculars and taking pictures of you.

You are not my sex object. You're my beautiful tale. I feel excitement, but sometimes, especially in the morning when you get up out of bed a languid, fuzzy and relaxed as a big cat.  
I like to look at you.  
Your voluptuous body.  
On sensual lips.  
On your brown moist and kind eyes. They're like deer, I've seen them in the zoo.  
And I envy your husband. You're a real treasure. And he loves you very much.  
You're a great woman.

*****

I came home from work and doing all required procedures were glued to the eyepiece of the binoculars.  
You stood at the open window. You had on a tight-fitting gown of scarlet silk, and on his neck wore a black lace stole. You're not wearing any underwear under it, but low g string. Your nipples were stiff, chest defiantly sticking out, covered with scarlet silk. It seemed that soon they would tear the silk. But the look on your face I did not like. It was motionless and cheerful. I'm even a little scared. But then it smoothed and acquired safely-surprised expression.  
I felt the growing excitement. You were damn good in that dress and incredibly sexy. But the excitation had to be removed. Three hours later, I was again glued to the binoculars. You still stood near the window. I was surprised, but did not betray this value and so went to bed.  
In the morning I looked again at your window. You standing by the window, but in a dark red, almost black dress. Your perspective was fixed, and the expression of your was missing. I was surprised and went to work.  
After work, I looked in your window and realized that something was wrong. So I decided to call the police. Don't get me wrong, I just wanted to know what happened to you.  
In the evening I was sitting on the floor near the wardrobe and went through your photos.  
Cried over them.  
You killed.  
My beautiful stranger.  
What I took for a red dress — it was your blood. Unknown maniac slit your throat and hung in front of the window. Your husband found on matrimonial bed. He too was brutally murdered.

My beautiful mystery woman.  
I swear that I will find this bastard and avenge you.


	110. The stranger in white.

Hi! It's me again.

After those events two years have passed. I moved to another area and another house. And now forced to watch people wandering around an old abandoned Park. This is a very nice Park, I'm not arguing, but authorities lack the means to ennoble. The Park is densely overgrown bushy ash-trees, oaks, elms. In the morning, running, young women, day – mothers with children and old men with dogs, night – Teens on bikes and skateboards.

And every evening, coming in a purple-green dusk she appears. The one I dubbed the stranger in white. She silently appears at first a very old and mysterious alleys, slowly it floats and disappears around the bend... and every time I passed this point.   
She is dressed in a white flowing dress to the ground that flickers mysteriously within the darkness of the alley, in an ermine cloak and a wide-brimmed white hat with a fluffy ostrich feathers...

I watch you, my mysterious stranger in white. You're so slender and airy, resembling a cloud, no one knows how descended under the trees. You don't have any escort and, apparently, no friends. What draws you to this old alley, overgrown wrinkled gnarled oak trees, so old, what with them hanging strands of Spanish moss? I don't know, but I intend to find out.  
I'm intrigued by your walking. It's true, my stranger in white.   
I took two days and started watching you.  
Strange, but I didn't see any cars that would have come with you.  
And you have appeared exactly at eleven o'clock. In purple-green twilight under the chirping of grasshoppers.   
I took a photo. But it was broken. On the negative there were some fuzzy spots. So I remembered that know how to draw and jotted down your silhouette.  
I'm in love with you, my mysterious stranger. So in love that tomorrow night I will throw a pair of binoculars and go in this mysterious alley.

You appeared out of the darkness and walked past me sitting on the iron bench. Extremely elegant, graceful and feminine. I noticed your pale oval face, a light shadow from your eyelashes and a fluffy cloud of brown hair. I rose from the bench and went after you. You kept your distance. And could not catch up with you. And missed the time when you disappeared from sight.  
I decided to find out who you are.   
I brought my work your drawing, scanned it, and began to fumble in your computer.   
I picked up the police archives, flipped through the newspaper files.  
I did a great job.  
I found a lot of useful information.  
And most importantly, I found you, my beautiful stranger in white.  
You disappeared eighty years ago. Went for a walk after the concert and never returned. The search did not yield any result.

"The body of a woman who disappeared in 1930, was found!"   
"The body was lying in the Park in eighty years!"  
"I met with a Ghost – shocking revelations servant!"

I found you, but you were dead.  
I think should quit his hobby.  
I don't want to see the objects of their observations are dead...


	111. Illusion

I'm going to change. 

While not particularly radical, since the game is in Santa Claus led to the fact that I now have no money, but slowly I will change so that I do not recognize myself.

Let's face it - I'm tired to prove to family and work colleagues. And I thought that friends here will accept me such what I is actually. Relaxed, you know. An no. Had to prove and here.

To make gifts - it's cool! Then you begin to realize that you already threw... and no, not so. Not tossed, just look at you as an ATM.

But in the past. Past. While the former grows moss. 

And I changed because I wanted to. And I wanted another February of this year. But I people thorough. After looking and figuring, I decided myself to make a material base. Alas. It went to gifts. I'm sorry I couldn't make gifts larger. Salary is not allowed. However, if these gifts are useful, then so be it.

ATM has dried up - people left. At first I was terribly angry. Then he accused himself of all sins. And then I thought: "what the hell am I doing? What was my fault? But that's not what. The person did not understand my words, but it is not small to him five time to explain. As I understand, and I understood." Thought about it and decided that I'm fine.   
Just fine.   
Great.  
Why would I take all the blame? To hell with them who don't understand me. Why do I have to adapt to a changing world? Well to heck with it!  
Now I will have more money.  
Then shift the hair, fix your teeth and on your next vacation will issue a visa either in the UK or in Spain, or elsewhere and go to rest. For this fall I have also planned, but no luck. Or rather, not people. Yeah, okay. I note the birthday on a Grand in a nightclub... it's about time, too I've already covered in this swamp life.  
And to that person thank you very much. That understood and helped... to understand who I am and what I am.

And write I will. Drop you on the head with your writing. Only I will write based on what I watched and read, and what I like. About the comments. If I like a fanfic, I definitely will be back, will read, reflect and be sure to write your opinion. But the views directly beneath tiled work I write very rarely.   
Maybe someone of you has wondered why I don't put my works under "waiting for critics"? And I don't need it.   
Read.   
Like.   
Their well-deserved likes I get.   
Their readers have.  
Why would I brag about that wasn't mine? What I will benefit from what my fanfic will be at 174 in popularity and 45-rated? Especially this and never will be.

I happen to be an aesthete. And get aesthetic pleasure from companions. And appreciate in them the spirit and the intellect, and then the body, but from the point of view of artistry. Man seems to me to be such a macrocosm - curious and exquisitely perfect in its essence. Based on the assumptions that each person is a part of space and therefore a small miracle, I can say - you are all unique and beautiful and I love you all, who more, who less. I suck at drawing, so I can't capture you on paper, but I can leave your photos in my works.

Should be gently with me. I position myself as a cat, but I don't pee in your shoes. Although perhaps this to me is the attitude. First - "Oh, come here, I'll Pat, my dear fluffy," and then - "go away, vile creature".

Although I was told that I was very atypical for his mark and his year. I may not that year and not the day. And the result here is the pitch.   
I'm still going to change.   
:)   
Thoroughly.   
;)   
And I will give gifts  
;)  
;););););););)   
So let your God(Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Yahweh, Allah) and not God( all others) health, happiness, wealth and love.


	112. Sherlock Holmes vs Sherlock Holmes

\- Chakra of deduction in action!

\- Chakra nasty image in action!

High curly brunette with hawk-like eyes, grey eyes, clad only in black jeans, filled the room shining threads of his chakra. The second is somewhat blurred a man in his fifties with dark hair and brown eyes, dressed in a spacious gray cardigan and gray pants — unsuccessfully tried to reflect these shining threads.

Was not concentration...

Thoughts were confused...

The enemy...

Was such a problem.

The man licked his lips.

And shining threads confused him completely.

\- You not are a lousy detective, - said the dark — you have absolutely no deduction!  
\- Oh! Why do I need a deduction? — answered languid voice of his opponent, — come here, my handsome detective!  
\- No, I'm not going! - the brunette stepped into the darkness and disappeared.  
\- And he dumped me... — cried the second, I don't need anyone.

His brown eyes poured tears sparkling rhinestones, forming the floor of the slide.


	113. Toast in the close company of a dark night next to the fireplace

\- Holmes! Let's drink to that and Moriarty we are not disturbed and your capital were intact!  
\- I will formulate differently — the wolves are sated and grandma are safe! - Holmes raised a glass of brandy.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes?  
\- Let's drink... and drink... and drink!  
\- And then to smoke!

***

 

\- Holmes! Let's drink to the women who can generate interest in any age!  
\- Whom do you mean, Watson?  
\- Martha, Irene and Queen Elizabeth!

***

\- If the girl don't like your preferences, means it it is necessary to love silence!  
\- Drink up, Sherlock, for the love do not need words!

***

 

\- From a smile becomes all brighten — Moriarty, Adler, and the Mona Lisa!  
\- Cheers, Joan, that you smile more often!  
_____________________________________________  
\- As one glorious man, now departed — I'm guilty just because I want to drink!  
\- ... and in the greedy mouth pulled pint!  
\- Here's to you, Watson, for nice people, giving us a livelihood!

***

 

\- Let's drink, my dear Watson!  
\- But need to drink so, Holmes...  
\- ...in the morning to remember everything!

***

\- Luther Burbank, sitting under a prickly pear...  
\- whiskey ...you should eat fresh corn!  
\- Here's to you, Holmes, for what would be at hand and there was always snacks and drinks!

***

 

\- Well, Sherlock, God forbid, not the last!  
\- Well to drink so to drink — said the kitten, when he was carried to flushing, - Sherlock took a SIP of beer

***

\- Don't accept, o Lord, for drunkenness — take for a cure. I, God, do not drink, but only treated. However, not a teaspoon, but a full tea cups. And, alas, not even every other day, and every day. But not drinking sake, but merely so as not to break the habit. So be gone forever, sneaky devil, stay pure alcohol, and may not harm a sinful servant of the Lord. Amen.  
\- Cheers, Holmes, that you bathed thoroughly!


	114. Bright skies

That's interesting to me what people think, passing on the earth? Why they never raise their heads ask and you will be right! People don't look at the sky, only occasionally they lift their heads to see rainbow or to capture on the phone something catastrophic! Although some catch the moment, and their pictures are fabulous...

And some of you, my favorite readers, and adored by critics, raised his head just so? Or maybe twisted a head to see anything? Not fifty roubles, you lost someone, but, for example, a mushroom hiding in the grass, and timidly peeping over the elastic leaves, unusual coloring sheet that had fallen on the emerald moss, a drop of dew on the silver sheet?

You fly in a dream? They say all a child fly, but I still fly. On the wings. Here's Mick, if you're reading, you may remember that he had eight silver wings... my wings. I fly in my sleep. All my adult life flying.

Was true I had a dream a long time ago, more I don't dream. I fly indoors, more reminiscent of a railway carriage. Closely. The wings deploy anywhere. The long room, illuminated by lamps enclosed in latticed ceiling, and one wall — door, door... a Huge set of doors. I don't remember exactly, but a couple of doors opened into a kind of dark... But I flew out of there, from this room, into the wild and... were in a pine forest. Hard to fly in the forest, the wings for the branches hurt. I got out of the woods.

Now I fly in the bright sky. Today, too, flew. Over the blue sea and green hills. The wind blew through me, and I'm not just aimlessly flew aimlessly, I was looking for someone. And a good man. And before waking up, I found him. I wonder how long it will take when I have him in reality? I'll wait. I am very patient.

And I here say that I do not meet your animal by the year of birth or your zodiac sign... and the rest I too do not match, not fit into the framework imposed by society. Don't sit, you know, and don't do what I need to do allegedly. Maybe you understand that even here, I'm all the time somewhere in a rush. Shakespeare, mate, the slash, and even poems. In General, I'm retarded, Pisarchuk with experience. All I'm curious and all for me fantastic. ALWAYS.

Rainbow, rain, friends, a drop of dew on a blade of grass, rain drops on pine needles, mushroom, under a lilac-yellow leaves, brown-rusty water in a forest spring. I'm trying to share this with the world, taking pictures, but I'd like to hold you all, my favorite trails and show off the beautiful curls of a fern on a grey-brown granite rocks, the elusive zhelnov (black woodpecker), beavers that live in our river, at what looks like rain coming through the sun...

I'm a hopeless romantic. Because of this, I love you all, even those who are on my black list, they are not to blame that romance is not their profile! *_*


	115. Dreams from the subconscious

Dark.  
Water drips from the ceiling, turning on the floor in a shimmering puddle, lit with quivering light of a single lamp.  
Under the hands of a soft pliable body.  
Sweet.  
Trembling.  
Gently, almost friend like breath, lick his neck, touching his lips to the warm lips of a loved one.  
So weightless breathing, heartbeat are so fleeting, but I do know that a loved one alive.  
Around dark.  
Water drips.  
And in this complete darkness we are alone.  
Alone in the Universe.  
And more and nothing.  
The rest is ashes.  
Wraith.  
Illusion.  
Fata-Morgana.  
And most importantly, I close with a loved one.  
I can hear breathing.  
The pounding of his heart.  
Smell.  
Taste.  
And I feel good.


	116. Drops, droplets of rain

Rain drops fall into the light  
The fading sun.  
And change color.

Drops fall and fall...  
And their color changes  
With each beam  
Of the setting sun.

 

The flashing multi-colored rainbow,  
It sparks like a faceted diamond.  
We are getting heavy, saturated scarlet color.

 

Rain — tears of the sky,  
Which is crying from happiness,  
Pain  
Longing  
And with grief.

The sky suffers.  
It lost love,  
But then found her again.

Had a fight with the Ground.  
Both pouted.  
So it's raining.

 

When the rainbow is happiness!  
When the diamonds is the finding love!  
When scarlet color loss!  
And when just water is tears!

 

Hold out your hand and touch the tears of the sky,  
Feel what it says.  
Become one with the sky,  
Become one with the rain.

I speak with them  
And know that all will be well.  
I feel you, my love.

You're far but you're close.  
You open like a flower,  
Defenseless and strong.  
And separation will strengthen our feelings.

 

I sit on the moss-covered rock  
And looking at the sunset  
Through the rain  
And I see you, my love.  
I'm waiting for you.


	117. Vanity of vanities

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes, Watson?  
\- Why are you sitting here?  
-I dropped Mrs Hudson.  
\- So I dumped three wives!  
\- And what floor? — asked Holmes.  
___________________________________________________

Vanity of vanities

 

1

 

Spring.  
Park.  
Bare benches,  
The grass is coming up through the snow.  
And on the benches  
Here.  
Sherlock,  
Irene Adler,  
John  
And Mary.

 

Sherlock

 

I don't understand  
Spring, flowers...  
Better I  
Look for the clues.

 

Irene

 

Spring  
(takes a deep breath)   
I love this time of year,  
And I'm in love  
Bright brunette.

 

John

 

What I forgot here?  
What strange vibes.  
I'm in love or not?  
I don't know.

 

Mary

 

I'm so happy  
I want to love  
The whole world!

 

Behind a tree stands a man in a black suit.

 

Still so early.  
When they sat,  
Embraced,  
Then I would kill them  
But not yet  
Love them.  
I'll wait.

2

 

Summer.  
The same Park.  
And on the benches  
Already cuddling —  
Sherlock and Irene,  
John and Mary!

 

Sherlock

 

I love you,  
Irene!  
And love your  
I take into captivity.

 

Irene

 

Oh, Yes!  
My dear friend!  
I'm ready  
For you to surrender  
Right here.

 

John

 

Oh, Mary!  
My dear!  
You look prettier  
From day to day!

 

Mary

 

And you're so good,  
I'm so thrilled!  
I love you!  
My dear John!

 

The man behind the tree

 

Love blooms  
And smells.  
But we have to wait.  
All of a sudden...  
All it will take?  
I'll wait.

3

 

Autumn.  
Rain.  
The benches are all wet,  
Under umbrellas  
Sit  
Two pairs.  
Irene and Sherlock,  
Mary and John.

 

Irene

 

You bore me!  
Too smart  
A sociopath  
You are only interested in  
Matter  
But not the feelings!

 

Sherlock

 

I really don't understand  
What's bothering you?  
In bed, if anything?

 

Irene

 

In bed you're  
Log!

 

Sherlock

 

You're the same!

 

Irene

 

You can go to hell!

 

John

 

Than I offended you?

 

Mary

 

You're dumb as a stump!  
And the fool!  
Why I only gave herself  
You?

 

John

 

Then there was love!

 

Mary

 

Then I was a fool!  
Goodbye!

 

The man in black, standing behind a tree.

 

I'll wait  
A little.  
Suddenly  
They'll be back  
In the arms  
Each other!

4

 

Winter.  
Fluffy snow  
Covered benches,  
But they  
Sit —  
Sherlock,  
John,  
Irene  
And Mary!

 

Sherlock

 

John?

 

John

 

Yes, my dear?

 

Sherlock

 

I think  
In love with you!

 

John

 

Mutually.

 

Irene

 

Mary — you're mine!

 

Mary

 

And you're mine!

 

The man in the black coat.

 

Stranger and stranger!  
But I'm still waiting.  
And wait for spring.  
When all the cards  
Lay out  
On the table!

5

 

Night.  
Spring.  
And the nightingales  
Try in the bushes,  
And on the benches  
Here.  
Sherlock and John.  
Irene and Mary!

 

Sherlock

 

My dear friend!  
Love you immensely!

 

John  
(hugging Sherlock)

 

I'm happy too,  
Your heart is beating  
More often!

 

Irene

 

Love you,  
My magical girl!

 

Mary

 

I love you,  
My brunette  
Fatal!

 

The man in black approaches the bench where I sit Sherlock and John, and stabs them to death,  
Then does the same with Irene and Mary.

 

Vanity of vanities all is.  
Whenever  
Changed pair.  
Sherlock — Mary!  
John — Irene!  
Then I would not have touched  
Them.  
And have I killed!  
Killed and the blood  
I sucked.  
Now they  
My.  
Get up,  
Zombies!  
And go!

 

Hapless lovers get up and wander through the Park

________________________________________________  
\- Watson?  
\- Yes, Holmes?  
\- What are you doing?  
\- Smoke...  
\- I see that you smoke and even I know that...  
\- That's Right, Holmes. This is your opium.  
\- And you weak to ask for permission?  
\- Do not nag, Holmes, join.


	118. Mist

Yeah.  
Out here, under the guise of unregistered readers, the citizens from the black list.  
Troubled — to say what are they on the list?  
But nothing my co-author to insult.  
I'm in the coffin you see, you are my trolls.  
Write your own product. To suffer. Will Power Chute the lack of readers, and then claim and show...  
As we see, critics got divorced... just like cockroaches.

And so I sit, I write, I miss writing again.  
But the day it rains.  
Autumn is approaching.  
The summer ends.  
I want a lot of friends and a couple very close friends, so you bury them in the shoulder and be quiet, and they'd say, "What happened?"

Envision yelling my personal Troll — "What a stupid dream?", "It is urgent to go to war in Ukraine!"  
Duck with pleasure. Tank let. And war will not be there. Passing all.

Guys, don't write me any stupid reviews. Criticism should be justified. And the poems do not touch — they are different. Sufficiently acquainted with different areas of Russian, Soviet and foreign poetry. Some things on the poems and did not like, but nevertheless it's still poetry.

I can take criticism from people well versed in the subject. Who know what they are talking about and believe in the right. Possible even a neat poetic intelligent argument on this occasion. But the rest... leave your "smart thoughts" to yourself.

Therefore, reported for Troll insults addressed to me (as an author), insults of my co-authors — will be punished by exile and destruction. I'm not going to spoil their nerves and the nerves of its sponsors on a senseless argument with you. I do not need. Anything you want to tell me, I know in advance, so get out and not come back.


	119. Depression occurs

Today my trolls rejoice.  
Sabantuy to arrange.  
Get drunk while there. The majority of trolls are far from the majority.  
Therefore alcohol is not laid.

Rejoice, my dear.  
I'm a completely stupid, useless, brainless, not justifying anyone's expectations, not being able to make friends, not able to love everyone around me and bringing nothing but misery to a DUMMY!

Can't be friends, though all life dreamt of friends.  
Don't know how to love, because you immediately lose the ones you love.  
I don't know...  
Can't...  
Not sure...

Although...

It is not so scary, right?  
Yeah, I've never been in a car accident,  
No one is saved ...   
Nobody can heat,  
No one...

And can I call my friends — friends? What if it this all seems to me?  
Maybe I'm actually just crazy. And for a long time and thoroughly.

I want friends!!! Good!!! Reliable!!!  
To which I could call and say I need help, and they'd called back and asked how they can help?!

Enjoy, trolls!  
Dance!!!!


	120. Song is crazy.

The wind blew from the sea

 

1

 

\- The wind was blowing from the sea! The wind blew from the sea!  
\- Holmes, what is it with you? — asked alarmed Watson.  
\- The wind blew from the sea, was trouble, - whispered Holmes and exhausted he leaned back in his chair.  
\- East wind, Holmes? — puzzled muttered Watson, - I told you, Holmes, that your opium is not good for you. Come on, you need to lie down.  
\- And you said I will not come, will not come...  
\- I am with you, Holmes, - will remain, Watson, almost crying with pity, accompanied her friend to the room and carefully put him in bed.

2

 

-The wind blew from the sea, was trouble was trouble! — raucous drunken singing of Holmes stunned the good doctor, as soon as he entered the house of mystery.  
\- Was trouble. And I told you, and told you I will not come, will not come, — the singing ceased, replaced with a choked sob.  
'Come, come, Holmes, - Watson, a wry smile, began to console his friend, I'm here. - I will never abandon you.  
\- It is evident there is no love, (tonight) it is clear there is no love, seen me laugh you...  
\- Again, you cheap opium smoked, - gently chided Watson, - two bottles of rum sucked. Let's go to sleep, Holmes.  
\- ...you laughed, - sobbed Holmes and forgotten heavy alcoholic sleep.

3

 

\- And you said me and you said I'll never come again!  
\- Of course, Holmes, - Watson gently washed the scalpel in the basin; the water went pink circles, — of course I won't happen to you.  
\- It is evident there is no love, see no love, see me laugh you...  
\- Holmes, come on! What do you take me? I'm not a pervert. I love the little corpses to dissect. While you are alive. And do I need it?  
\- The days pass, the years will fly by...  
\- Look, Holmes, shut up, before I have you killed!

4

 

\- The days pass, the years will fly by, - Sherlock quietly hummed some kind of song.  
\- You and time seems imperceptible, - gently said John.  
\- First love is not returned back, will not return back...  
\- That's true, - John sighed, - I went to get milk. You something to buy?  
\- It is visible not destiny, it is clear there is no love...  
\- Well, what are you so silly, - John walked over to the seated Sherlock and buried his face in the black curls, - I buy you some cake, okay?  
\- Well, - finally answered Sherlock, trying to throw back the head,- seen me laugh you...  
\- Is chutzpah, - and John angrily slammed the door.

5

 

\- The wind blew off the Hudson river, was trouble, and you said I'll never come again! - Joan sang in the shower, — will not come. It is evident there is no love, it is visible not destiny, seen me laugh you!   
\- Joanne!!! — yelled Holmes, — who are you? Doctor or weatherman?!  
\- Shut up, Holmes, and don't let me sing in the shower!!! — Joan yelled, interrupting his acoustic experiments.  
\- I will not come, to his misfortune! - Holmes angrily slammed the door.

***

Oh, God, what a man!

 

1

 

\- God, what a man! I want you to do son! — Holmes leaned in a goat drunk Watson, - I want you daughter ... ik... point!  
\- Watson! Are you drunk?!  
\- You broke into my life unexpectedly...ik...- began to whisper passionately Watson, — has changed my reality...ik... Thoughts flicker.  
\- You need to sleep it off, dear friend, you are confusing me with women of easy virtue!  
\- ... on the heart...ik ... flash and love without respite.  
\- Go to bed, I doctors will take, you obviously arrhythmia.  
\- ...Oh, God... XP-p-p...

2

 

\- It all started as innocent flirting, - Holmes, despite Watson's volume, and clear eyes, tried to embrace.  
\- You take it easy, Holmes, - Watson pushed Holmes.  
\- And now empty without you my world, — sobbed Holmes, finally, pressed against Watson, - you are magical, you're from another planet. You from my dreams.  
\- On other planets — no life, — has thoughtfully spoken Watson, Holmes sending in a knockout with the left hook, - will be pestering me I'll kill you!

3

 

\- Is not enough all the world gentle words to describe my love, - Holmes approached Watson working and began to look over her shoulder, as he opens another boil on the client.  
\- Get out of here, Holmes, before I opened, - angrily muttered Watson.  
\- You, as the time that treat my sorrow. I know, my love is mutual, - Holmes rubbed her soft Breasts on his back Watson, but then left in the chair.  
\- What's that? — asked the client.  
\- Crazy, — replied Watson, revealing, finally, the boil, splashing with blood and the client, and yourself.  
\- Keep, - client put Watson charge and hastened to make his legs.

4

 

\- You're Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt in one bottle as best you recorded on your phone! - John smiled to Sherlock.  
\- Don't compare me to these brutal and depressive personalities! — exploded Sherlock, — I — the one and only! Unique! I need to take care of!  
\- And you're magical, you're from another planet. I all the questions you found the answers. - John had stopped Sherlock on the sofa and began kissing. Sherlock began to fight back.  
\- ... and I want you to do son... smack... and my daughter... smack...

5

 

\- I don't want you to do son, and I don't want you daughter and point and point!  
\- Joan, but you yourself told me that I am the only man?  
\- Not enough on the Mat to describe the fact that you went somewhere, and you came from another planet...  
\- Come On, Joan! I understand that you do not feel to me of tender feelings! - Holmes brushed an unwelcome tear.

***

And you're so...

 

1

 

\- And you, a man with a beard... Watson, what have you done with your moustache?  
\- Shaved.  
\- I don't understand, Watson, - said Holmes, - quickly went and grew. And you, a man with a beard, I fell into your trap... 

2

 

\- You're so manly with a beard, caught me in your trap, leave at dawn!  
\- First of all, Holmes, we're not going anywhere, — said Watson, — secondly, you should be treated from addiction. Thirdly — I have no moustache and beard!

3

 

\- ...with a beard, I fell into your trap. Take a ride with me in a convertible! -  
Holmes, with his head wrong — sadly said Watson, aiming the scalpel on the forehead of the detective.  
\- And you, a man with a beard, - Holmes was framed under the knife your throat, — leaving at dawn?   
\- Leave, go away, — Watson removed the scalpel is to the nearest hospital.

 

4

 

\- And you, a man with a beard! Why did you shave the mustache, John?  
\- You wanted!!! — exploded John, - himself told me that love shaved doctors!!!  
\- Pray, grow those beard again and again, - Sherlock made the eyes of the cat from Shrek, - you are hot. Oh, are you the man with the beard. In your I got online, I saw you only in the Internet...  
\- Less Russians fanfiction read — advised John, - that slash you're stoned!

5

 

\- And you, a man with a beard, caught in your web I at dawn!  
\- And specially today I did not shave — grinned Holmes.  
\- I dream to sing with you a duet, and a ride in a convertible!  
\- ... watch out, this can be children, - fake Holmes joined in and got a vase to the head.


	121. An awful case of Sherlock

\- What happened, Sherlock?  
\- We have a case, John.  
\- What?  
\- Kidnapping.  
\- Cool! — said John, sitting down on the sofa, - looking for someone?  
\- But the problem with that, - Sherlock sourly stared at each other, - maybe you can help me?  
\- Let's see, — John held out his hand.

Sherlock gave Watson a description of the abducted person. "The breeze rustles her lips, her eyes sitting on a throne, holding his eyes, fluttering his eyelashes, and takes off, eyebrows eared under the sign of the moon, tie me to your hands, tie me to her eyes, I kissed you in the mouth, me on the other hand, the eye, 2 of diamond in three carats, her slanted smile, her lips — two folds at the gates of Paradise"

\- Look, Sherlock, — thirty minutes later, John said, - I want to lie down and lost consciousness.  
Sherlock carried John to the bed, put his forehead on the ice and, after leaving, I called customer.  
\- Unfortunately, we can't take the case. On such signs, it is impossible to find...


	122. Dreams from the subconscious 1

The helicopter was flying over the forest.  
In it were people.  
And below... in the tree hiding place of two. One sat in the fork, clinging to the gray trunk back, the second clasped to the first body, first hugging the neck.  
Why were they hiding?  
Because two was that the humans in the helicopter.

\- What do we do? — whispered the blond boy, about eighteen years old his older companion.He replied, snuggling up tight to each other.  
\- They left?  
\- Not yet, - replied the second.  
\- We still need a lot of time? — blond raised his head and through a mosaic of silver leaves saw the fat body of the helicopter.  
\- I can distract them, - said the elder, — you'll have half an hour to reach the edge of the forest and fly to the meadow.  
\- No, - snapped the younger, — you managed to free me from this hellish meat grinder at great personal risk.  
\- Don't have a cow... - senior pulled away from his companion, - the helicopter flew away.  
\- Fly?  
\- Fly, — dark-haired elder shook his head, — come on.

Four wings flew open with a flash of mother-of-pearl pen; guys took off and ran to the edge of the forest.  
Here and edge.  
And a wheat field.  
And behind him is the dark band of the new homeland, silver-emerald forest.

The guys left on the field.  
And suddenly a helicopter appeared.  
He flew straight at them.  
Senior pushed Junior down, under the protection of a heavy Golden ears. He dived, and the senior pulled up. Raced in front of a helicopter. And the helicopter flew behind him.  
Junior waited half an hour and flew to the forest.

He had a nagging feeling of loneliness.


	123. Weasel

Sit, drink smoothies and think.  
Think about all sorts of things.  
Dreams I dream of warm, soft, affectionate.

About my favorite people.  
Soft dreams.  
Affectionate.

 

Maybe I lack affection here,  
But more than getting there.  
There love me.

Here and think, what if I...  
Turn from the path of "true"?  
But I already turned.

Neighbouring heaven angels flew,  
Stay  
And flew away.

 

One flew away without saying goodbye  
The second kept looking.  
There was one with white wings,  
But in dark clothes.  
The second was white and transparent.

But I have new guests.  
The other angels.  
Very cute and lovely.

And the appearance of some mysterious stranger  
Convinces me that all is not lost.  
I smile and write.

 

You, the readers, enjoy those cocktails  
What I'm cooking?  
Tell me what you like?  
And it's not begging for likes and even advertising,  
Just a matter of the writer to his readers.


	124. Rumors

"GATISS HAS GIVEN BIRTH!"

"MOFFAT IN SHOCK!"

"THE QUEEN HAS FAINTED!"

"ELTON JOHN MADE A STATEMENT!"

\- Sherlock, you see, — said John, — men began to give birth!  
— This can't be! - replied Sherlock, - is physiologically impossible.  
\- Perhaps it is impossible, - growled John, - as to me today came fifty men at the age from eighteen to eighty. And they were all PREGNANT!!!  
\- John, you're overworked, - gently said Sherlock.  
\- Even worse, Sherlock...  
— What could be worse? — alert Sherlock.  
— I... um... also expecting a baby...  
— Lord! — Sherlock groaned and collapsed in a faint.


	125. Somewhere in an alternate reality

\- Dear, — was heard from under the heap of blankets and pillows lying on the bed.  
\- What happened? — a lanky guy with curly hair anxiously jumped to his feet, — What is it, darling?  
\- I want lots of green apples, and go to the bathroom.  
\- Well, honey, - the guy scattered blankets, and light was a small light blond guy with bright seven-day beard and a huge belly.  
\- I want! - said this guy, - a lot of vegetables and cake.  
-All right, - agreed the tall one, — but first I'll wash and shave.  
\- It's all because of you, - grumbled the blond, — you — unbridled lustful son of a bitch!  
\- Hey, why me? — was dark-haired, — you dragged me into bed at every opportunity and an awkward case!  
\- I was dragged, but you were a skinny, black-haired asshole, and left, and I, you know, flew...  
\- Would you like me to strike? — gall-haired asked, — well, I'm sorry. For what fought for it and ran, - the guy went into the bathroom, turned on the water up there, then came back, section of the friend and took wash.

Then he came back, redid the linens and prepared the night shirt left over from Martha Hudson, who prudently faded into Devonshire, saying finally:  
\- I can be a housekeeper the two men, but to take care of a PREGNANT man I didn't sign up! And, in General, it's confusing my English stiffness.

Sherlock has flown alone with John.  
It was the lousy pregnant  
Sherlock almost never slept or ate, snacking on the go and falling asleep for a few minutes, as Jon always wanted. Sometimes Sherlock was able to get some sleep and a good meal — those were the moments when John, having received everything they wanted, fell asleep sleeping baby. Then Sherlock cleaning his house, quietly eating and falls asleep on the sofa.  
But each time these moments become fewer and fewer, and the character of John is all unbearable and king standing with his head!

Here and now, when Sherlock had John cursing washed, shaved, dried, dressed in a nightgown and laid on the bed, the laid fresh linens, it flew a pillow.  
\- Where the hell you passed, my vegetables?!  
\- Wait, John! I'll take the money and go after them, — somehow reassured him Sherlock, and so finally to appease, they brought tea with raspberry jam, put on eternally, in recent years, merznuschie feet warm socks and disappeared from the room.

\- Son of a bitch! — muttered John, getting more comfortable.  
Was the seventh month of pregnancy.  
John had taken indefinite sick leave and myself began to consult.  
Got it, of course, Sherlock.  
Still. All the laws had to fly Sherlock, but he didn't. Although physiology — John well, could not fly.

It was some time before out-of-breath Sherlock appeared in the doorway of the bedroom.  
\- Oh, you Horny dog! — yelled John, - where have you been? I suppose to Greg went? Or Anderson and were making out in the corners? — and threw it into Sherlock's pillow.  
\- Relax, - Sherlock returned the pillow, - and I was in the Laundry room, then you bought vegetables, and meat, and a cake. And now I'm everything is cooked.  
\- And, you know... what you probably fucked that bitch Irene! — muttered John, — everybody wants to leave me and...  
\- I'm not leaving you, — said firmly Sherlock, hiding behind the door.

Leftovers, which went to Sherlock, were negligible; but Sherlock got myself, therefore, as John fell asleep, Sherlock cleaned up, tidied up the apartment, ate and went to bed.

After a few days, Sherlock, walking past the door, he heard John's gentle voice talking to itself:  
\- And we probably will be strong like me and smart like daddy, the devil would have him flogged! And I hope you'll be as kudryavskiy and that's the Bunting, as this curly-haired miracle.  
Sherlock, standing outside the door, quietly swallowed, wiped an unbidden tear and went on.

Lasted days, weeks, months, and the case came to a climax.  
Any trip to the hospital could not be and speeches.  
\- Damn! Sherlock! - cursing John, - come on bring hot water and towels! You will have to take birth!  
\- John!!! But how to you give birth?!  
\- How-how!!! A cesarean section will do!!! Here's how!!!  
\- Well! - Sherlock was prepared for everything — towels, alcohol, water, thread, needle, scalpel.

Lasted eight hours the action.  
John fainted at the third hour, leaving Sherlock to dig in the intestines, umbilical cord, blood.  
Two thin voice cut through the silence of the apartment, and John woke up.  
\- We have twins, - said Sherlock softly, gave John two babies, pale, and quietly slid down to the floor.  
John seriously looked two strong quite chubby — blond girl with gray eyes and black-haired boy with light eyes.  
— God, how fortunate! — sighed John.


	126. Evening thoughts

\- Barrymore!  
\- Yes, sir Henry?  
\- Where is your beard?  
\- Your Grace, I have never been!  
\- Get out of the castle, Barrymore! And while the beard does not grow — do not appear!

***

 

\- Holmes? You sleep?  
\- No. What happened?  
\- It seems that Mrs. Hudson is giving birth!  
\- Yes?  
\- You suspiciously quiet, Holmes. Your hands doing?  
\- Elementary, My Dear Watson! — the great detective held out his hand, picked it up and lit it, - who nine months ago had misunderstood my words? So go, Watson, and rashlebyvat mess themselves.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- Yes?  
\- You again cheap smoke mixture?  
\- Watson, how did you guess?  
\- Elementary, Holmes! First, you are in a hospital bed, and secondly, you smoke.

***

 

\- Holmes?  
\- What happened?  
\- You're sitting on the floor?  
\- I do yoga.  
\- Are you sure?  
\- Yes. According to the book.  
\- And where took?  
\- In your room!  
\- This is not a book on yoga, Holmes, - Watson, carnivorous grinned and walked around Holmes, - is the Kama SUTRA!


	127. Spy

Sherlock got up early in the morning. Pozaranku was a close friend of Irene Adler. Leaving the girl luxuriating in bed and wearing panties, Sherlock went to the kitchen. The window in the barrel. Sherlock went to the window and shut the window. The muzzle disappeared. Sherlock looked at the street, where John put the car on the priest. "Poor father Brown!" — thought Sherlock.

After drinking some tea, Sherlock reached down and pulled the curtain. He didn't know the Curtain was a girl Moriarty. But then the doorbell rang.  
\- What it takes? - asked Sherlock.  
\- We need Sherlock, - replied from behind the door.  
\- Sherlock went to the hospital, - replied Sherlock.  
\- Damn! — unknown swore and left.

Sherlock went to Scotland Yard. On the way there he was attacked by chills and hemorrhoids. They both worked for Moriarty. Sherlock miraculously repulsed. Because the miracle was ill, had to return home.   
Around the house he saw the females. "Too busy" thought Sherlock, but then changed his mind. They went into the room. Sherlock turned on the lamp. The light, but light did not give. Sherlock turned off the lamp and gave Light, but the miracle was swollen, and annoyed Sherlock trudged to bed.

Sherlock slept for days, but not with chickens.  
The next day, a miracle swelled and hindered to walk, but Sherlock courageously moved across the room and tried to open John's laptop. There he found probably the perfect crime. Sherlock knew for sure, but Certainly though worked for Moriarty, Sherlock didn't know.

John Watson is a Code name of "Bilbo Baggins". Nature — Habitancy. Is the secret society of travelers across the galaxy.

Sherlock went to walk. Then he saw that he rushed towards a man with glasses. "Blind" — thought Sherlock and shot him. Blind fell flat on his back. Vesnici jumped up and took to their heels. Under the bridge turned around and got into a fight.   
Sherlock went to the morgue at St. Bartholomew's. There stank. After Sherlock came back, Smelled no one else could see. 

Sherlock smacked the crap. Nonsense was yelping quietly. She was a friend of the chief physician.

Sherlock went home and hit a branch. Females with a squeal fled. Yelp was their pimp, and fled first. Sherlock caught up with them and shouted:  
\- Hacked!  
Sookie chipped in to him, and he went on. Near Baker street Sherlock saw blue spruce. Looking closely, he realized that they were drinking.  
Right around the threshold he was assaulted by Moran and his boys. Sherlock fought with the light. Light fight as best they could. Could be a tough guy. Steep weak and not loved.


	128. Emptiness in the brain

\- Holmes, and let's all kill!  
\- Whom do you suggest, Watson?  
\- Let's start with the slasher, finish those who write fanfiction...  
\- Good idea, Watson.

***

 

\- Holmes!  
\- Yes?  
\- You look odd.  
\- I think.  
\- Well, it appears you know how to think!  
\- Leave your sarcasm to yourself, Watson! I think about how I want to kill!  
\- Who?  
\- Don't know why I think.

***

 

\- Watson?  
\- What?  
\- You have just slaughtered a man!!!  
\- And?  
\- But, Watson...  
\- Do not regret it, Holmes! It was the man who wrote lampoons on me!  
\- ...and you killed him. You cannot quarrel.  
\- That's why cut on a nose, Holmes! I'm your friend and you must respect me! And then I'll kill you!

***

 

\- What have you done, Sherlock?!  
\- What?  
\- Don't play the fool! You just shot that man!  
\- But I saved our reputation!  
\- You've got to explain!  
\- This man wrote about us slash.  
\- And I think that killing one slasher, you're gonna save our reputation?  
\- No. But it's a start!

***

 

\- Oh!!! Holmes!!!  
\- Joanne!!! Are you insane?  
\- In total...  
\- Why you'd leave me on the floor and passionately rip my clothes?  
\- Wanted, the — Joan got up with a half-naked Holmes and called, - the boys out!!!  
And included many men from the bar "Blue Oyster" and began an Orgy


	129. Blood

\- Hey, Mick! What's wrong with you?  
\- Nothing.  
\- You look bad.  
\- Yeah, what's wrong?  
\- Eyes shining, knife hands are holding...  
\- And?  
\- So What?  
\- What are you waiting for? — asked Mick.  
\- Nothing.  
\- Okay, — Mick knocked Ben to the floor, sat on horseback, and pulled on his shirt.  
\- You tried to kill?  
\- Hell, — said Mick, — I will kill myself and you to look at it.  
\- Don't need to kill yourself... — Benedict tried to shove the man.

Did not work.

Mick licked his lips, leaned over and kissed him.

Gently.

Weightless.

Intimate.

Then he drew back and slashed his chest with a knife.

Blood splattered on the chest of Ben.

\- No! - screamed Benedict.  
Mick`s pressed her to him, but he pulled away.  
But Benedict managed to each other on the floor. The knife flew into a corner.  
\- What the hell? What did you do that? — and his face buried in the chest Mick`s began to lick the wound edges. 

Mick lay silently, having turned away his head and his arms spread out.

He did not react to touch Benedict.

\- Don't ever do this! - angrily Ben said, sitting on the floor, lifted his friend, pressed him to her, — if it makes you feel bad, just come to me. I'll give you a hug, a kiss, and you'll be fine.  
— ... and why I fell for you, Ben? — Mick muttered, putting his head on Ben's shoulder, - because he lived... and none that I know of...  
\- All the best, Mick, - Ben hugged the other and buried his face in his hair.


	130. Once at Baker street

\- Holmes?  
\- Is there something you wanted, dear friend?  
\- Yes. I want to ask.  
\- Ask.  
\- Why, when I go to the kitchen — Mrs Hudson begins to run after me with sneaker? And when you're there — she screams and faints?  
\- Elementary, my dear Watson! You just... normal red cockroach, and I'm black... Madagascar!

***

 

\- Watson?  
\- Yes?  
\- Explain me one thing...  
\- What?  
\- When I go to the bedroom Mrs. Hudson, she begins to run around the room clapping? And when she sees you, she says "Oh my God!" and treats you with delicious balls?  
\- So. Naphthalene poisoning is obvious. If you were born a mole, Holmes, worthless, mothballs, fly across the room, and then you can kill. Better sit in our closet and eat the remains of the former luxury...

***

 

\- Look, Holmes! Why, as soon as I get to Mrs. Hudson under the blanket, she begins to scream as shredded? But it is necessary to get you — she's sleeping peacefully?  
\- Elementary, My Dear Watson! You usually starts to bite exposed skin, and even at the time when the owner falls asleep. I'll climb under a blanket and drink plenty of... and she's sleeping.  
\- You're not a bug, but an intellectual one!

***

 

\- I think we found a good place, John?  
\- You're right, Sherlock. There is nothing better than to see the smiling hostess when she's in the evenings, listening to our music.  
\- Let's set up our violins.  
\- Well, we were born crickets!  
\- I agree with you!

***

 

\- Holmes! You again with all paws in the jam!  
\- Don't bother me Joan! I eat!  
\- We need to roll over the mistress is coming!  
\- I am for you!  
-  
-  
\- No, well, what we fly, Joan!  
\- Elementary, Holmes, we were just born this way!


	131. Go for....

\- To the left! - ordered the tall, thin man in threadbare red velvet Spanish jacket, Smoking a large curved pipe. His famously short dark hair sat a black Tricorn worn. Under the jacket could be seen a faded cotton shirt. The shirt was tucked into black cloth trousers, which in turn were clenched boots reproach of indeterminate color. - The devil you damn it, John Hanging mustache! What are you doing? — the last words were addressed to the first assistant.

\- Hey, Shorty Greg! Move your hooves! — barked the first mate at the steering.

First assistant sported suit, probably taken from some poor bastard, and the steering was in a long linen shirt and grey trousers.  
-So, - said the captain, releasing a pillar of black smoke out of the tube, - now we go around this island and there will be a Bay. There we drop anchor.  
\- Good, - said senior assistant.

A three-masted brig "Crimson" under the command of Holmes, nicknamed Long Legs slowly turned to the unknown island.  
The oarlocks creaked, yards, masts.  
Clapping the sails.

And the bright green island was grown on the sapphire ocean dish as an exotic dish.

***

 

\- To the right! - ordered a burly man in a white silk shirt and black leather pants tucked into shiny boots. On light hair famously sat a battered bowler hat, decorated with lush feather.  
\- Now let's do it! — reported a handsome, shirtless man, but once in a blue pants. It was the first assistant.  
He walked over to the slovenly type, lazily puffing a tube that was sitting next to the steering wheel. The first assistant leaned over to him and yelled in his ear:  
\- Holmes Shithead! Got up and took hold of the steering wheel!!!  
He stood up, idly dusted off his pants and started to spin.

Two-masted schooner "Beryl Coronet" creaking turned to the green patch, growing out of the sapphire waves of the ocean.

***

 

\- Damn it! — ruined a small balding man in a red plaid Scottish kilt and poncho. It was the formidable captain in this area is the Watson Long Scalpel. At the moment he was yelling at his senior aide — Holmes, nicknamed four-eyes, - quickly woke up the steering!!!  
\- And we don't have it — sadly replied the Bespectacled man, polishing his glasses.  
\- Why? — the perplexed captain.  
\- Because only three of us here - you, me and the fireman!!!  
\- Wake the fireman!!!

Little boat "Silver", happily puffing on his pipe, quickly raced to the small island, which sparkled under the rays of the sun with white sand beaches.

***

 

\- Two miles to the target, - said low densely-downed man in a checkered blue shirt, black pants, and worn sneakers. His blond hair was standing on end.  
\- Sure? — said the tall boy with the wheaten hair, lazily sitting in a high chair. He was dressed in blue jeans and a black shirt unbuttoned on his chest.  
\- Of course, - the blond stepped away from the periscope and typed the coordinates on the display, - and, in General, who's the captain?  
\- I, — confessed wheat brown.  
\- Once you're the captain, let the team!  
\- Well. A course on the island!

Air Brigantine "Mazarin Stone" under the command of captain Sherlock, nicknamed the Fiddler Is a Slob and led to his first mate John, nicknamed Hairy Legs lazily crossed fronts, turning the tiny island, which was a small green speck in the sapphire-emerald ocean.

***

 

\- The computer says? — lazily said the Chinese spectacular in a silver spacesuit.  
\- We are over the target, — said the unkempt man with nervous eyes.  
\- Congratulations — Holmes Junkie! — the Chinese woman grinned.  
\- Thank you, Joan, Doctor, — man looked down modestly.

The space Shuttle "the Second Stain" was directed at the target. To the coveted island was only a few miles.


	132. Blood for blood

1

 

\- Holmes?  
-Mm  
\- You know, Holmes, I want to share...  
\- What happened, my friend? — sympathetically asked Holmes.  
\- I began to notice the signs of mental disorders.  
\- What?  
\- All I am drawn to love, then kill, then cry.  
\- Hmm. And you already killed anyone?  
\- And now going! — Watson with a cry rushed at Holmes.

***

 

\- Watson, what are you doing?  
\- What does it look like?  
\- It seems that you have a bad mood...  
\- To the point, Holmes, - Watson pulled in the hands of a thin wire, — I'm mad, angry and want to end your life is meaningless...  
\- Whose?  
\- Yours, Holmes!!!

******

 

\- Watson?  
\- Yes?  
\- What are you doing?  
\- Sharpen the scalpel, — kindly replied Watson.  
\- Why?  
\- A guess.  
\- Something turned up...  
\- Sure, Holmes! Your deduction is beyond praise, - smiled Watson and plunged a scalpel into Holmes.

***

 

\- John?  
\- What?  
\- Are you mad?  
\- No.  
\- Why are you not talking to me!  
\- I'm waiting.  
\- What are you waiting for?  
\- Opportunity to part with you, — grinned John, took a hammer and walked over to Sherlock.

***

 

\- Joan?!  
\- Yes? — smiled she.  
\- What is it with you? - Holmes looked suspiciously at companion.  
\- Nothing.  
\- And me something uncomfortable. I will go out of here.  
\- You're not going anywhere, - Joan smiled and with a cry — Ki-I — knocked out Holmes.

***

 

\- I'm tired of you, Holmes, — kindly smiled at Watson and detective strangled with silk stockings.


	133. Blood for blood

2

 

\- Who's there? — trembling with fear, asked Watson in the darkness.  
\- I!!! — swept gasp.  
\- Who?! — Watson huddled under the blanket.  
\- Holmes!!!  
\- You're dead!!! — yelled Watson.  
\- I rebelled!!! - Holmes pulled back the blanket and stood in front of the Watson — bloodied, with a broken head, a thin layer of mold and decay, — Hello, Watson! It's time to die!

***

 

\- Who here!!! — probleyal Watson, hiding under the blanket.  
\- I!!! — came a groan.  
\- Who?  
\- Holmes!  
\- You died?!  
\- And let me go! — Holmes tore off Watson a blanket.  
\- Don't come near me!!! — screamed Watson, clogging under the pillow.  
Blue Holmes black with his tongue hanging out, oozing ichor from a half-decayed broken skin and worms bent over Watson, - and Watson! It's time to die!

***

 

\- Who here!!! — yelled Watson, — I have a scalpel!!!  
\- Calm yourself, Watson, it's me, — from the darkness came Holmes.  
\- I killed you, damn it!!!  
\- Yes, - phlegmatic Holmes remarked, placing a semi - severed head on his neck and looking around black wounds on the chest, infested with maggots, — I came for you.  
\- I don't want to go with you!!!  
\- Want, not want... and will have, - said Holmes, pulling a shard from the lens of the eye and slit the throat of Watson.

***

 

\- Sherlock?  
\- Yes, John?  
\- You came for me?  
\- Oh, John.  
\- I in ghosts do not believe.  
\- I believe in neither, but now I'm a Ghost, - Sherlock leaned over John. With a broken head oozing dark blood, skin was deathly pale. Black curls matted from the medulla. Black shirt stood a stake with dried blood, - I love you, John!  
\- Me too, - John reached out to Sherlock. And they merged in a deep kiss that killed the poor John.

***

 

\- I am for you...  
\- Is back!!! — Joan stuck in a half-decayed body of Holmes aspen stake.  
\- I am for you... - Holmes pulled his hand to Joan.  
\- Now you die — Joan punched Holmes on the head the tomb.  
And Holmes died.  
Finally.

***

 

Dead Holmes silk stocking on his neck came to Watson and... raped him.


	134. On Baker street it was all good until he came...

WATSON

 

1

 

\- HOLMES?! WHERE DID YOU PUT THAT MAN IN A SHAGGY BLACK COAT, WHICH HALF AN HOUR AGO WENT TO YOUR ROOM!!!? — Watson was running across the room around the dining table, - HE went in your ROOM AND NOT come OUT?!!!  
\- Calm down, dear friend, — said Holmes, sitting down in the chair in front of the fireplace.  
\- NO, NOT GOOD!!! — Watson has developed such a speed that turned into a barely distinguishable spot, - "he killed him just killed and burned, and why I didn't hear the screams so if you think about it and I rales not heard where I was I was here and ate the oatmeal I eat oatmeal passed the man and went up to Holmes and Holmes I saw today is not seen"  
\- Calm Down, Watson! - repeated Holmes, catching Watson when he swept across the ceiling at breakneck speed. Caught and sat in a chair, poured a glass of brandy, — drink and calm down.  
\- "Solders wants to kill something bad planned, and we have a fireplace so big there burn the human easily Yes where am I"  
\- Watson, I think we need to explain, - said Holmes.  
\- "Yeah so I'll tell you," - Watson tried to hide deeper in the chair, — "and if they say that they will kill you"  
\- You started to hide my watch, although I forgot them on the mantelshelf, began to close her room key, but before you have it stuck in the door. You think I Rob people in dark alleys...  
\- "It is recognized that Gad is recognized", — Watson stood up and slowly turned her head to look at Holmes, who by that time moved to the dinner table.  
-...cut the purses are belated passers-by. Go ahead — you've subscribed to "The times", and now "daily news", because there are printed ads about renting rooms. You are going to move out. But you made a mistake, where it was necessary to put a plus, you put a minus. I'm a detective, Watson!  
\- "the detective no he is lying is lying to the poor unfortunate me", - Watson face and shuddered inwardly, imagining yourself gradually cooling corpse somewhere in the London slums.  
\- Relax, Watson, - said Holmes, approaching Watson, - lean on me, and I'll walk you to your room.  
\- STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!! — screamed Watson, — don'T COME near or I'LL SCREAM!!!  
\- Yes calm down you!!! - in the hearts barked Holmes.  
\- "I'll kill you for sure will kill you now need to jump to strike him with a poker and go to the police," - and Watson began to put his plan into motion, but alas.  
To get up-he got up, but stumbled home with shoes on the carpet and flew directly into the fireplace. Well, it managed to catch Holmes. And the light is darkened in the eyes of Watson.

2

 

\- Thank God, I'm going to move out of here!  
\- Watson, why?  
\- I'm afraid of you, Holmes, but I wish that you were afraid of me...  
\- What this makes you afraid of me?  
\- First, you are infested with criminal crafts. It is the ability to up and change... an Honest man is not necessary, unless of course it doesn't work on the stage of the theater. But you are in the theater don't work, then you're either a burglar or a clean late passers-by in dark alleys.  
\- All the world's a stage...  
\- Secondly, the circle of your acquaintances, leaves much to be desired. And your health too. Not to mention the fact that you use drugs.  
\- Watson, let me enlighten you, - Holmes rose from the Ottoman on which he lay for a long time.  
\- I don't need your explanation, ' said Watson.  
\- I'm a detective! 'cried Holmes.  
\- Then I'm Mata Hari! — answered Watson punched Holmes.  
\- I'm really a detective — sadly said Holmes, spitting out a broken tooth.


	135. On Baker street it was all good until he came...

WATSON

3

 

— I'm just here and not enough!  
— What are you, Watson?  
— All the same, Holmes! About eternal...  
— And why are you dissatisfied?  
— I? It's okay, just a few questions bother me...  
— What?  
—Now, Watson, — he unwrapped the handkerchief, put his trunk on the floor, sat down in the chair and looked at Holmes,— the first question. You, Holmes, similar to the student — loser, a nihilist with experience, member of the Marxist circle, but you have the money to rent an apartment while you're not working.  
— Is stressing you out?  
— No. Secondly, your connection, I was apprehensive. Come to see you, Queen, the police, ladies of easy virtue, and they all are from something you want. Either you owe them money or you blackmail them...  
— You don't understand, Watson,— Holmes took off his glasses and wiped them.  
— All I understood. You Tinker with the police, but the police tries to land, means — for good reason.  
— I take them bread...  
— You are a spy, Holmes!  
— I'm a detective, Watson.  
— It's silly to deny that you are a spy, and I will guide you to clean water, — happily smiling, Watson pulled out a scalpel and added bonus!

4

 

— John, don't go in my room.  
— You got a... woman?  
— No.  
— Naked woman?!  
— No.  
— Dead naked woman?!  
— No.  
— Oh... I understand. You got... a man.  
— No.  
— Naked man?!  
— No.  
— Is a dead naked man?!  
— No. Just don't go.  
— I'm sorry, I think I guessed that you got there...  
— And?  
— You got there...naked Martha from naked Nude fucking Irene Mycroft.  
— John. Not you who just told me less to read slash, — Sherlock looked at his friend, — but the impression is THAT you're reading this and are one of the authors of all these stories.  
— No.  
— Yes. But in my room there are no dead, not alive. It's empty.  
— And why can't I go in?  
— Because...


	136. On Baker street it was all good until he came....

HOLMES

1

 

— Mrs. Hudson! What is this tramp?  
— He needs a doctor, Mr. Watson!  
— Okay. Now I will see you soon, - Watson turned to a thin man dressed in coat and suit — your name?  
— Sherlock Holmes.  
— What are your complaints?  
— The lack of housing and food.  
— You wouldn't want to rent me a room?

A month later.

BAH! BIDIS! BOOM!!!  
— Holmes!!!  
— Sorry to Wake you, Watson! But I finally found it!  
\- What?  
— The reagent which is precipitated by hemoglobin and nothing else!!!  
— I have no doubt that this is a very interesting, but if you will — I will refuse you and cast out into the street.  
— Don't dump. You are not the owner, and distinguishes you from me only what you live here for a couple of years longer.  
— You — SQUIRT!!!

2

 

— Who are you?  
\- Doctor, - emaciated creature of unknown sex and species were drawn to Watson's hand.  
— You have to pay? — asked Watson.  
\- No... - gasped the tramp.  
— No and no trial, - made lean face Watson and slammed the door of the house 221 b on Baker street.

A month

— Let's see what we have written here, - said Watson, opening morning "the times"  
"Yesterday in East London was found the body of a certain Sherlock Holmes. According to the police, Mr. Sherlock Holmes died of an overdose of opium"

3

 

— No. Poor students in the apartment doing nothing!!!  
\- But, I will pay!!!  
— No. No. Here you go!  
— Small angle... just a little corner...  
— Mister-how-you-there - call! Not only that, you have just returned from the army, not only that, you look like a Marxist... and you have no money. Go to hell while the cops!

A month

— Mr. Watson, have you seen this man?  
— Yes. He wanted to rent a room from me.  
— And you...  
— Refused.  
— Did the right thing. It was an international terrorist — Sherlock Holmes.  
\- Really?  
— Yes. He shot the Russian Tsar, and then Lenin, and now, they say, is hiding somewhere in Bulgaria.

4

 

— Mrs. Hudson!  
— Yes, John?  
— Who was it?  
— I don't know.  
— What did he want?  
— Not said. And he seems to have returned...  
— Mr, — John opened the door, - that you wanted us to do?  
\- Here you can rent a room? - asked the tall, slender dark-haired man in a black hoodie, jeans and black shoes.  
— No.  
— Your ad?  
— It is already invalid.  
— Denied, means.  
\- Denied.  
— How would you do not regret it.

A month later

\- Greg!!! What about this guy?  
— It's for you, John, to ask.  
\- He looks fine, what's that in his mouth? A piece of paper.  
\- Read, John!  
— "You denied me home, so get your head of the greatest criminal genius of SHERLOCK HOLMES!"


	137. Diet

— Holmes?  
\- What?  
— What's that smell on your half?  
— I sat on a diet, dear friend.  
— What?  
\- Is urine therapy!  
— What?

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What are you guys devices?  
— Pokute...  
\- What the hell?  
— Pokute...  
— What is that?  
— The diet is. Eat pokute and you are growing hair... everywhere... what do you think, Watson, hairy I'll be more attractive?  
— I don't know.

***

— Holmes? What is it with you?  
— I do not understand, Watson.  
— What did you eat?  
— Yes, there... on a platter... lay blue fruit.  
— Oops, - Watson pulled Holmes on the cheek. Cheek pulled back on the good foot, - happy birthday, Holmes!  
— What?  
— You become a rubber man!

***

 

— Sherlock?  
\- Mm..  
— What's wrong with you?  
\- I Sorus on a diet.  
— What?  
\- Sorry, will shrink on a diet.  
— WHAT?  
— Get on a diet...  
— A. And what is your diet? Nicotine patches in the morning, afternoon and evening?  
— Separate meals.  
— It is clear. Bread — for Breakfast, milk for lunch... and after a week you're in a coffin.

***

 

— Joan? What is this?  
— Are you detective?  
— Yes!  
— Then apply the deduction.  
— A-Ah!!! You sat on a diet. Then I went away.  
\- Hell, Holmes! Sat side by side. Together on a diet.


	138. Saturday mood

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What it is — not barking, not biting, and the house is not let?  
— Elementary, My Dear Watson! It's Mrs Hudson!

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What's this. Grandfather sits in hundred fur coats is dressed, who undresses him — he sheds tears.  
— Elementary, My Dear Watson! That bum at the dump.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What it is. No Windows, no doors, and inside was a Jew?  
— Elementary, My Dear Watson! The Jewish pregnant.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— Mmm...  
— What is it? He is above all, to know it simply, high growth, and he sees far...  
— It's me!

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What is it? Not the Prince on the rock, and wears a crown?  
— Moriarty in Buckingham Palace.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— What else?  
— What is it? Sleeping during the day, flies at night, passers-by scared?  
— Batman is. Sleep, Joan.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What is it? With claws — but not a bird flying and swearing?  
\- Is Moriarty with a frozen waterfall flies!

***

 

— Watson! Where is your scalpel?  
— I forgot him in the trachea...  
— Who?  
— Moriarty.


	139. Buh-ha-ha

John kissed Sherlock's —   
And that turned into Smaug.

 

Smaug wanted to kiss John,   
But the one with a wild cry escaped.

 

Holmes kissed Watson.  
And nothing happened.

 

Watson kissed Moriarty.  
Moriarty was stunned.

 

Moriarty kissed Lestrade.  
That he was arrested.

 

Lestrade kissed... Mrs. Hudson.  
had to get married.

 

Corrado Cattani kissed Sherlock,  
Came a violent argument with John.

 

Father brown kissed Watson.  
And flew out of the Church.

 

Inspector Juve kissed Commissioner Cattani.  
Not much.

 

Fantomas kissed Moriarty.  
Thought. Both.

Gattis kissed Moffat.  
The slasher was dripping saliva.

 

Slasher kissed a keyboard.  
had to wash.

 

Slasher kiss with a fist fan.  
A fight broke out.


	140. Darkness... (b)each

— Watson?  
— What happened, Holmes?  
\- Don't you think that opening someone!  
— No. It's dark. The time later. You got stoned. I injected myself with the drug...  
\- Is there someone, - have stopped Holmes.  
— Your delusion, - Watson walked over to Holmes, - you need sleep.  
— If you say so, - Holmes mournfully hung his head, then cocked his eyes to the ceiling.  
But this is where it all happened. From the darkness came out sticky disgusting slippery monster, pounced on Watson and dragged him into the darkness.

— Watson?! - some time later, Holmes asked, — where are you?  
Silence was his answer.  
Although there is no.  
Listening, Holmes heard a crunching, squelching and crackling.  
Holmes got up and went, focusing on the sounds.  
The sounds led him into the kitchen...  
And there...  
...Mrs. Hudson cooked lamb in a white sauce...  
...Watson.

***

 

— Watson?  
— Yes?  
\- You know, I think for me someone...  
— Holmes, you are my opium will bring yourself to a mental institution.  
\- But... I'm right, Watson, I feel it.  
— Here. Anyone. In addition. Us. No.  
\- Yes, - whispered Holmes.

And accurately. No sooner had he said that, out of the darkness rose a big man and hit Watson with an axe. But he dodged.  
— Need Holmes?! So him and kill!!! — yelled furiously Watson.  
-And get to see it, - replied the man.

In the morning a policeman discovered a dismembered bloody body in an apartment on Baker street 221b. The murder remained unsolved.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— What is it? - Holmes timidly peeked out from behind the door.  
— We have in the house.  
— Yeah. You, me and Martha.  
— Someone else.  
— Who?  
\- And I don't know. You — detective! And here to find.  
\- Good, - Holmes went on a quest. Watson followed her.

They climbed the first floor.

Then the second one.

And then went up to the attic.

As soon as Holmes opened the door, something blew... and to the feet of Watson dropped the headless body of Holmes.  
— Damn it! - with feeling said Watson, — I wanted to kill you, Holmes. But Watson sighed, — not fate. You just have to open...  
He bent down to take the body of the detective's legs, but from the attic came the harpoon, and Watson nailed to the floor and the dead body.

The autopsy took place... but in a police morgue, where all the inhabitants of the house 221 b on Baker street and got.  
Dead.  
Cause and effect could not be determined.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— What happened, John?  
— I... want to move out.  
— Hmm. I'm not adequate enough as a neighbour?  
— No. Behind me someone's looking... and I don't want to put you and Martha hazard.  
— Here is how? - Sherlock raised his eyebrows, — let's do it together. Connect Graham.  
\- No, - John walked up to Sherlock, - I'll understand, and please do not get sucked in this case.  
— Because I'm your friend? — said Sherlock.  
— Yes. Because you're my best friend! Don't say no! And I ask that you not interfere.  
\- Good, - Sherlock smiled tentatively.

That smile was the last in the life of Sherlock and John.

After three seconds on Baker street was a massive explosion, which killed forty-five people including Sherlock Holmes, John Watson and Martha Hudson.

In hot pursuit was revealed that an explosive device detonated a suicide bomber, a member of the Islamic State — a Musa Jalil.

***

 

— Joan?! What are you doing?  
— Kill you.  
— For what?  
— Tired, — said Watson and Holmes have cut off the head, - then insert a candle and will be a superb pumpkin on All Saints Day.


	141. "Language is on its side! Eyes in a heap! Work tomorrow!"

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— Look... "the Problems in the Vatican".  
— And what happened?  
— The cardinal went to fight...  
— And what?  
— To investigate?  
— Bored, Watson! I don't want to do anything.  
— Why?  
— I got a job. Watson?! What's wrong with you? - Holmes bent down and lifted the doctor off the floor.  
— You kidding?  
— If...  
\- Where?  
— In the factory...  
— Brutally.

***

 

— Watson?  
— Yes?  
— What are you doing?  
— The corpse open.  
— Whose?  
— The Countess Elvira.  
— What happened to her?  
— Husband had hurled her out of mothballs...  
— A second body whose?  
— Husband.  
— What about him?  
\- But at midnight, the Countess rose from the grave and, with the cover being stained oak, she went to this redneck... and he died.  
— You're a doctor, Watson! - Holmes smiled, ghosts no.  
— No. But there are corpses. Enjoy.  
— I can't.  
— Why?  
— I got a job.  
\- Where?  
— A janitor at the cemetery.  
— Your most...

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Me no...  
— Who answers me?  
— I'm busy.  
— What?  
\- I'm looking for normal things...  
— Why?  
— I got a job...  
\- Really? And by whom?  
— Painter.  
— Hmm. So, the thing about the three corpses in the Ivory Coast can be postponed?  
— Yes.  
— Nice excuse.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— What else?  
— We have the bodies...  
— Where?  
— But lying next to...  
— Great. And how much?  
\- Fourteen frogs.  
— And... what are they doing here?  
\- Today in the port of London broke the ship and went down with him fourteen French sailor. They went there, where you can easily get cheap women and wine.  
\- There in the city? And then what?  
— They came there, - panted John, — had a fight with harsh English dockers and all... Fourteen corpses.  
— Awesome deal, but alas... I'm not going to do it.  
— Why?  
— ... Because... I ... got a job.  
— What?  
— I've heard.  
— And by whom?  
— The taxi driver.  
— Heh - heh-heh, - John nervously chuckled.  
— What's wrong?  
— So. Congratulations!  
\- Thank You, John. I knew you will support me!

***

 

— I'm at work!  
— Holmes?!  
— Yes?  
— I thought I heard?  
— No. I got a job.  
— Who?  
— The vacuum truck.  
\- For you, ' smiled Joan.


	142. Grandfather?!

— Sherlock! To you Grandfather!  
\- Who, John?  
— Look, — said John, and went to March.  
Sherlock went to the door and saw a tall thin man with gray hair and a hooked profile, dressed in a black coat-the lionfish.  
— Grandfather? Is that you?  
— Aren't you glad?  
\- Nice, but what brings you here?  
— I missed you, grandson. Yes, even the onset of a disagreement forces are not asleep...  
— That's right, grandfather. Come on in. Now John tea bungled.  
— Where do I stay?  
— In my room, and I on the couch will be located.

A month later.

— Sherry, I'm kettle hid the cocaine, and now he's not there?!  
— John! You brewed a pot of tea.  
— Yes.  
— And where's that tea?  
\- Martha, Greg and Jim drank...  
— Where are they now?  
— And there we are, - and John showed at sweet Trinity, sitting on the bottom steps of the stairs.

— Rainbow ponies  
Across the sky flies;  
Eats diamonds  
Rainbow poops! - Jim was euphoric.

— I'm a Princess of the UK!!! — It is Martha.

— I'm the boss over all police and Sherlock licks me ass, - Greg's not here, either.


	143. Strange lessons of Hogwarts. Lesson one

— Hello, kids, - squeaky chair perched square-cubic citizen in oily mantle is poisonous-yellow colour. The face of this citizen was rosy, with big eyebrows a La Brezhnev, with a long mustache a La the divisional commander Chapaev, and shaved his head, — I'm your new teacher — Nicholas guy Kavun. And I am going to teach applied magic.

— I no don't know, - whispered Hermione to Harry.

— So. Let's start. Let us come out... come out... that chubby boy, ' said sir Kavun, - what's your name?  
— Neville Longbottom, — timidly said boy.  
\- Great. Now we, for example, Neville, let's consider a few spells. Wave the sticks. — the teacher waved her magic wand and said in a singsong voice. — Doctorus Jones Watsons.

Neville stared and stared at Luna, have.  
— And what do I do? - she asked.  
— Make something unusual or say, - replied sir Kavun.  
— Has anyone seen magosliget? - said Luna to the others.  
— Who is that? — Neville stared at the girl.  
— Well... it's those... who lives in your brain.  
— Type cockroaches, right?  
— Maybe...  
— What they...

But the teacher shut the fountain questions spell "Forget".  
— Here, kids! This spell can be used when you want to get to the bottom of things with the endless issues you or someone else. There is another spell. Look, - sir Kavun ornate waved her wand and said, — Doctorus Watsons.

Neville's whole pick up. And on his face seemed concentrated work thoughts.

— Now, this simple spell, you can get people to think. "Forget it"! And here's another one — Chirurgus Watsons!

Neville looked around at all present a bright look.  
— Come on, boy, if you got enemies, yeah! — encouraged the teaching of Longbottom.  
He grabbed the wand and started to attack Draco.  
\- Hey, I'm going to complain to the Pope!!! — yelled the man.  
\- Forget about it! — ordered sir Kavun, aiming at Neville's wand. — so... shall we continue?

— Yes!!! — all rustled.  
— The following spell — Janus Watsons!

Neville admiring glance stared at Harry.

— A spell that was the previous one, consists in man of unmotivated aggression. If you want to kill a man, but do not want to get his hands dirty with the Forbidden spells... it should only say this spell and incite... And this is... want to admire you...  
— Great! — said Draco, - but there is still?  
\- Yes, - sir Kavun Neville brought from a state of admiration and gently tapping him on the head, said, — Jaanus Watsons!

Neville went over to Draco and in a confident voice said,  
— Young man, I am one hundred percent sure that you have at home a bunch of unresolved family problems! I'm going to help you!  
— This spell switches the mode of a psychoanalyst! — happily grinned sir Kavun, - first lesson is over!


	144. Strange lessons of Hogwarts. Lesson two

— Today we will look at the following spells, - said sir Kavun, - and the first spell we will try to... to... Draco Malfoy. Are you ready, my boy?  
— Yes!!! — gleefully yelled Malfoy.  
— First spell — Veliky Detectives Sherlocks Holmses! — sir Kavun pointed her wand at Draco.

Draco whole pick up, put myself up, using the "Accio" drove himself Smoking a mixture of weed and said calmly,  
— Sir Kavun, and you do not...  
But the teacher waved his wand, and Draco froze.

— This spell involves a person mode of deduction. The following spell — Sisikon Holmes!

Draco pulled up the gown over my head and stood against the wall. Sir Kavun stopped this mess a wave of his wand, and said,  
— This spell involves in man mode Villarta. Do you like it?  
— Yeah!!! - screamed all.  
— Well. So the third spell — Acquarius Detectives!

Draco in horror huddled under the table, but not before he tore the glasses off Harry. No promises his friends and teacher are unable to pull out of Draco, only use a forgetting spell brought everything back to normal.  
— Now consider the spell — Sherlocky!

Draco had somehow been stretched. His hair was securefiles. He looked at everyone and said:  
— Silence! Goyle and Crabb — don't look now! Trying to think here!  
— Why are we? — protested Goyle and Crabb.  
— Up close and turn away! — imperiously said Draco, and turning to sir Kavun, said:  
— You obviously don't...  
\- Forget about it! - Draco froze, and his eyes went in different directions.  
— The last spell - Narkomany Detectives Holmes!

Draco sat at the Desk, chuckled and said:  
— You went all out! Not going to do anything.  
Sir Kavun used the appropriate spell and let go of all.


	145. Halloween I

— Sherlock?  
— Yes?  
\- Look at the street. Something odd is happening, - said John, watching the traffic on Baker street.  
Sherlock went to the window.

There passers-by were chasing a big yellow pumpkin.

Very big.

And she ate people.

— What do you say? — asked John.  
— Well, what can I say, — brightened Sherlock, — come on, John. Let's head on in.  
— Well.

Ten minutes later they were on the street.

Twenty minutes later, a giant pumpkin has swallowed them.

— Where are we? — asked John  
— In a pumpkin, - replied Sherlock.  
— And where is that which she swallowed before?  
— Find, - Sherlock got up with a slimy yellow floor and moved towards the nearest door.  
— I'm with you! — exclaimed John.


	146. Halloween II

Sherlock and John were in a large room, in which stood the statue.

\- Is The Weeping Angels! — said Sherlock.  
— So not blink, - in a tone he added John.

Went on.

Then they found a strange creature resembling a toothy pineapple. It had his bloody funeral feast, devouring someone's body.

— Who is it? — whispered to John with a friend.  
\- I dunno, - replied Sherlock.

But being heard, snapped his jaws and reached for him. The guys took off running.

But not ran, stumbled about for a very long striped scarf, and flew upside down.

Hit something and heard a terrible story.

***

 

There once was a pumpkin.  
She grew up in the TARDIS.  
Changed Doctor.  
Changed the companions and companion.  
Changed enemies.  
And the pumpkin grew and grew.  
And grew so big that swallowed the TARDIS.  
And began PUMPDIS to catch everyone around and send them God knows where.


	147. The night of 31 October

It was dark and quiet.

But when the door creaked.

 

John sat up in bed and stared into the darkness.

 

The darkness was alive.

 

In it someone was moving.

\- Who are you? — asked John, expecting to hear the voice of Sherlock.

 

But the darkness ominously chuckled.

 

\- Sherlock? Is that you?

 

Darkness materialized in dark figure.

Thin and bony.

 

\- No! - replied the figure, - I'm not Sherlock.

 

\- Then who? — did not stop John.

 

\- I'm your nightmare! — and the figure stepped forward.

John saw a VERY thin Holmes, stark naked, whose body grew a lot... no, not fuck, a different tripods and tubes, and between it all were the scars.

 

Creepy.

 

Ugly

 

Scars.

\- I have come for you! — said the creature.

 

John cried out with a terrible voice and... woke up.

 

\- It's just a dream, - he murmured, - just... a bad dream.

****

\- Of course!! - was heard from Sherlock's room...


	148. Snowflakes

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— Let's go into the woods.  
— Why?  
— Play snowballs.  
\- Good idea, dear friend.  
— So come on, Holmes!

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— Get up.  
— Why?  
— Let's go for a walk.  
— Do not want.  
— Quickly got up and went! And no talking!

***

— Holmes?  
— What happened?  
— When was the last time you rested?  
— And you?  
\- I don't remember. But I suggest you to go to Hyde Park.  
— What are we going to do there?  
— To play in the snow.

***

 

— Sherl?  
— Mind?  
— Get dressed. Go for a walk.  
— Graham has found a new body?  
— No.  
— Then don't go.  
— Quickly got dressed. Took off and went to go out with me. Okay?!

***

 

— Joan?  
\- What?  
— Let's go to Central Park...  
— Why?  
— Take a walk. To get fresh air.  
— No, I'm not going with you.  
— Please, Joan, come on!


	149. From nowhere to nowhere

— I told you four times already called, and you're still dropping calls, - Ben was sitting on the sand of the lagoon and angrily looked at Mick`s, who stood in the surf, watching the lazy grey waves.

Stood a fine Saturday summer evening.  
The Pacific ocean was covered with white sheep, signifying the storm, but the sky was clear, and his light azure color at the Zenith blended into pale bottled on the horizon.  
Mick was dressed in old ragged jeans and faded shirt of unknown color.  
Ben in black jeans and a white shirt.

\- So why? - Ben was extremely dissatisfied. For once got out to a friend and he is not answering the calls, and met with a cool.  
\- Because, - Mick turned back to Ben, - now you need to protect your reputation. Did you become a sir, so all there unknown to the investigators of the first class can fuck off, because you will be surrounded by only other Sirs and lady.  
— What are you talking about? - said Ben, — you're my friend and you will be!  
— Are you sure? — asked Mick, — because...  
\- Course I am. - Ben grinned, - I you because and moved it to all to celebrate.  
— But I'm just not sure...  
— Why?  
— Tired of me — Mick walked away from the surf line and sat at a distance, — all tired. Even to live.  
\- Don't say that, - Ben is not seriously disturbed, — what happened?  
— Nothing, just...  
\- I'm sorry, - Benedict moved to Mick and hugged him by the shoulders, - I about you forgot, you're to blame. If you become ill, why haven't you called? Wouldn't want to impose, right?  
— Fuck off, — Mick shrugged, trying to shake the hand of Ben, — don't touch me.  
— Don't worry and tell me what happened?  
\- I'm not doing anything to tell you, — Mick tried to pull away.  
This had not happened.  
He lay down on his back.  
— Mick? - Ben tried to help him, but he quickly crawled away.  
— Do not go, — was the answer Mick.

Purple twilight slowly sank to the lagoon and mix the color of the waves and the sky in a mad crazy genius painting artist. The waves started to splash loudly on the shore, more sand.  
— What's wrong with you? - Ben wanted to know.  
But Mick was silent.  
He looked at purple wave and what is concentrated thought.  
— Let us go into the house, - said Ben, - it's getting chilly...  
— No. You can go, and I'll sit to the last.  
\- Then I could stay with you, - thought Ben.

They sat and looked at the advancing night.  
— Our relationship with you... they are wrong, — after a pause said Mick, — I can't understand myself. And Snezana says that I'm having a crisis... If we look at, we obtain the following. I'm in love with women. I love women, but I feel love for individuals of their own sex. But I don't want to engage with them in bed... I let you take liberties with me, but no further. I don't want to change the situation. I was happy with everything, but sometimes I just want warmth...  
\- I love Sophie and the baby, and then you, - Ben smiled.  
— No, that's just wrong, - said Mick, — I feel spoiled.  
— Hey, - Ben stood up and held out the other hand.  
— What do you want? — Mick asked in astonishment.  
— You'll see.

They passed the garden and found ourselves in the driveway leading to the house. And must say that the entire track starting from the main road and ending by the house, was thickly planted with trees and shrubs. The warm climate of California did their job, and all the trees thrive,  
Ben took Mick`s to the dark clearing, around which grew wild cherries, apples, nuts...  
Mick collapsed in the soft grass, raising swarms of fireflies.  
Mick looked up.  
At the sky, which was closing branches.  
And instead of stars — glowing fireflies...

Ben fell, head-to-head Mick`s.  
— Sparrow, my poor, - Ben looked into the eyes of Mick`s, - I love you...  
— I don't know, — Mick smiled wryly.  
\- But I, - Ben moved to another position. Now he lay at a right angle to Mick, - I'll prove it to you.

Kissed Mick`s on the lips, despite the fact that Mick grumbled that it's dirty, and his teeth not been cleaned.  
He ran his finger across his throat to the gates of the shirt.  
Undid her.  
Mick lay down with eyes closed.  
Ben looked down and ran his tongue over the collarbones Mick`s.  
He shuddered.  
Ben went down lower.  
Mick winced again.  
— What happened? — asked Benedict.  
\- Sorry, - whispered Mick, - where you touched the fresh scar.  
\- Is you I'm sorry, - Ben, again the lightest touch of lips and tongue licked the scar, - it's all okay now.  
Mick didn't answer.

Morning Mick went down to the kitchen, poured a Cup of tea and sipping it, staring out the window.  
— "This is all wrong. Nothing happened, and couldn't, it's a strange love polygon".  
Ben woke up in his room and smiled.  
-"I'm Mick`s, none of the order would not change. Mick is so sweet. My sweetie yet. I adore".


	150. Island of secrets

I don't know...  
I have a state of deja vu.  
But something has changed.  
In what direction?

Angel wings lost,  
All for the feather did.

 

At first it was painful  
And it's a shame.  
Then the pain dulled.  
Resentment was gone.

I said to myself:  
"Okay. I now know one thing,  
To me happiness is contraindicated  
For medical reasons."

 

Happiness must be shared.  
Happiness was short-lived  
And went to another.  
All is well...

To cut the wings of every  
But they grow difficult.  
And then itching my wings...  
He sees that someone needs help.

Broke the wings of freedom,  
Turned, finished...  
Fluttered the feathers...  
It is necessary to save/ help...

 

...and fly can't...  
Heart to the ground pulls  
Does not take off.  
Soul heart argues

 

Heart concrete blocks fenced  
The concrete was cast,  
Chains thick chains  
And in a chest tucked forged.

Won't be any pain to feel,  
The offense can not be reached,  
All three letters will be  
Send...

 

Yeah. Right now.  
Heart beats,  
Committed to freedom.  
And the soul taunts.

 

Took off...  
Heart aches,  
Soul is anxious,  
The hands do...

And mental can fall in love?  
Can. But how to say it  
The person you love?  
How to tell?

I don't know...  
Bad me...  
Sad...

 

Right now as I fly,  
Fly,  
And let me in Syria shot down,  
I'm on the ground bloody lump fall

 

And die...  
And no one who I helped,  
I can't remember.


	151. Case ....

— Holmes? Why do you have such a clever face?  
— "It's not a problem that I farted in the cab", - told Holmes.  
— God! What would people say? — was horrified Watson.  
\- People don't be said, and Lestrade will be a job to find out who killed a cabbie and his horse! — said the great detective, stretched long legs at home pants to the fireplace and lit his pipe.

***

— Holmes?!  
— Yes, doctor? — said Holmes.  
\- What is... in the air?  
— "Do not take action, I farted in the apartment," - sang Holmes and picked up her Watson, which from the stench, lost consciousness, - is a miasma... and you need fresh air.

***

— Watson?!  
— Yes?  
— What is that smell diffused around the room? Your patient is rotted?  
— "This is no joke, I farted in a room," - sang Watson and opened the door to his room wider.  
\- My God,- managed to whisper Holmes and lost consciousness.

***

— Sherlock...  
\- Mm...  
— I can ask you.  
— Yes?  
\- Why are people from the underground yellowish-green popping up?  
\- "I drove today, the gut, and I farted in the London underground," - commented Sherlock.  
\- What? — don't understand John, - what did you do?  
— I farted...  
— Geez, I thought it was a terrorist attack.

***

— "This is no joke, I farted in the bus. And you squeezed my nose and said to me, — Mister with his face you'd better go on foot...", — heartily sang Holmes.  
And poor Joan was in her room unconscious.


	152. Maniac in London

1

 

— Holmes? What are you laughing at?  
— I was attacked by a maniac, my dear friend!  
— God! What are the police?! You will be able to identify it?  
— Sorry - no.  
— Holmes! I must ask you to lie down, — anxiously said Watson, — I don't like your laugh.  
\- As well, Watson, as you say...

2

 

— Holmes? What are you laughing at?  
— You will not believe it, Watson! I was attacked by a maniac!  
— Good Heavens, Holmes! You should immediately lie down!  
\- This time I agree with you, — he answered and sat down on the sofa.

3

 

— Holmes? What is it with you? Your laugh I don't like...  
— Watson! Me maniac attacked.  
— You?! - surprise stared Watson, - cool.  
— Why?  
— Don't remember how the maniac look like? And stop laughing.  
\- I can't, Watson.

4

— Sherlock!  
\- What?  
\- Why are you laughing?  
— To tell?  
— Of course.  
— Maniac attacked me.  
— MANIAC?! WHAT REALLY?! WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING?!  
— I don't know.  
— Fast in bed. Now I'll give her sleeping pills.

5

 

— Holmes? You od'd?  
— No.  
— And what's so funny?  
— Maniac attacked me and took away my drug...  
— Good maniac.  
— Shame on you, Joan.

***

 

"IN LONDON, WAS CAUGHT BY A MANIAC!"

"THE MANIAC'S NAME IS TICKLING!"

"HE KILLED HIS VICTIMS, TICKLED TO DEATH!"


	153. Hide and seek

— Watson? Do you... are you peeking? Naked man never seen?  
\- Yes, Holmes, I saw.  
\- And where, may I ask?  
— In the morgue, Holmes!

***

 

— Watson! Give me your hat!!!  
— Why, Holmes? — looking suspiciously at the gray Holmes said Watson  
— Makes me want to puke...  
— Please, in the trash Moriarty. He on the other end of the street.

***

 

— Holmes?! Give me the scalpel!!!  
— I do not.  
— I saw him... under the bed.  
\- I didn't put there...  
\- Elementary, Holmes. I put it there so that you will cling, and then boring.

***

 

— John! Give me the skull!  
— I do not.  
— And if I can find it?  
— His Martha in the trash made.  
— Sure?  
— One hundred percent.

***

 

\- Joan... I swallowed your cell phone...  
— Give it to you — disgust she said, — I buy a new one.  
\- Thank You, Joan.


	154. Where the Wild Roses Grow

Start

1

— Watson, what are you reading there?  
— Letter, Holmes...  
— I assume it came from your old friend...  
— Astonishing, Holmes! How did you know?— Watson, by surprise, dropped the letter, which almost flew into the fire, but Holmes with unexpected agility he was caught.  
— What happened with your friend?  
— It's terrible, — said Watson,— his only daughter had been found dead in the lower reaches of the Thames. And he, having heard about you, asks you to look into this.  
— Of course, my friend, —said Holmes, running around the ill-fated letter, — he lives in Oxford, your poor friend. Go.

2

 

— Holmes! I desperately need you! - pale Watson, in a hastily buttoned coat, burst into the bachelor home companion.  
— What happened, Watson? - Holmes turned on the couch and opened swollen eyes. Battery of empty bottles and butts testified that the previous day, and half the night, Holmes spent more usefully, than the morning.  
— Come on, Holmes, — said Watson commanding tone, - I have a problem.  
— Do you have? - surprised Holmes.  
— Yes. Although there is no. Unhappiness for my wife. Her great-niece three times removed from the aunt's second husband's father her grandmother, was found today in the Thames. So pack up your gear and go.  
— Well, Watson, - and Holmes failed again in a narcotic dope.

3

 

— Holmes!!! Open the door!!! — Watson threshing his fist on the door of the room Holmes.  
— What happened? — fearfully asked Holmes.  
— Aunt sister of my wife was yesterday found dead on the Thames.  
— And I here what place?  
— You will investigate, - said Watson, - and I'm going to pick up. And you finally open that door!!!  
— Well, — said Holmes, — I agree.

4

 

\- Sherlock... — asked John, entering the room. With it flowed. Of course, if the street is gushing downpour, but John has never been an umbrella, he was drenched.  
\- I'm... displeased Sherlock replied, — I'm cold.  
— Sherlock, we have a case.  
— What?  
\- They killed sister Molly Hooper. This morning she was found under the bridge near the tower of London.  
— As killed?! - Sherlock already jumped on my couch, - immediately going!!!

5

 

— Holmes! Get up!!! We had a dead body.  
— What is the body? - blue swollen, unshaven face Holmes emerged from under the blanket.  
— Female. In Hudson caught. Get up. Police assistance requested. Says that you definitely know her.  
— Went to Joan for yourself... somewhere, — Holmes yawned and fell asleep again.

What happened next

 

1

 

— So. The poor girl was killed by a blow of a stone on his head!  
\- Brilliant, Holmes, - of habit said Watson, - who's the killer?  
— Go to the place where she was found and see if the police are not trampled.  
— Well, now go.

2

 

— Killed her, - bleak said Holmes.  
\- Is we you know, Holmes, — angrily replied Watson, - tell me, HOW was she killed?  
— Stone. Search stone...  
— No, Holmes, - is starting to boil, kindly said Watson, - is that you will seek the stone... Or...  
— ...I'm gonna swim in the Thames, - graduated from Holmes, grimaced, and went on shore to look for the ill-fated stone.

3

 

— "Little, little, little, young nurse this night again on duty at the morgue, little, Little, little, young nurse can't live without deadly orgies." — sang Watson, shredding the unfortunate corpse.  
Holmes wasn't around. He was crawling along the embankment of the Thames, and then correcting the sliding points, and was looking for clues.

4

 

— She was killed by hitting the head with a stone, — said Sherlock, standing under a large black umbrella, which he held John, — John will now take a walk along the promenade and have a look. But I personally think she was killed somewhere else, just the river brought her here.  
\- I see, - said Greg Lestrade, trying to light a cigarette. But wet cigarette was spread in the fingers.  
\- Grem! You couldn't stop this rain! — categorically stated Sherlock, - told, all the evidence will wash away.  
\- My name is GREG!!! — angrily barked Lestrade.

5

 

— You have the money, Joan?  
— There are, what?  
— Give a couple of bucks...  
— Inspect the corpse, Holmes.  
— The deceased hit her head on a stone and died — turned the corpse - oops.  
— Learned? - asked Joan.  
\- Yeah, - whispered Holmes, is a... Irene Adler...  
— Here. And the corpse was ID'd...


	155. Where the Wild Roses Grow.

All confused

 

1

 

— This is the place! - said Holmes, stopping near a small glade, - here the poor girl killed, - and threw itself to the left and stopped near a small stone. He knelt down directly into moist soil, it is not sparing of the hunting suit.  
— What did you find, Holmes? — excited asked Watson.  
\- Hold it right there! - cried Holmes, - I'm here by myself.  
And started to jump, to run, to feel, to look, to lick, to smell...  
— So. She was with a man. The man weighs fifty pounds, height about 58 feet. foot small, strong hands. Hmm.  
— Who was it? — pleadingly said Watson.  
— It is necessary to follow in the footsteps, - suddenly said Holmes.

2

 

— Not that, not that... And why am I a detective? — sigh Holmes, taking a seat on a nearby boulder.  
— Look, Holmes, I am looking for!!! — poisonous told Watson, appearing behind him.  
— Keep looking... — muttered Holmes, rose and went on.

3

 

— Yes. She's dead. Stone chips in the skull. La-La-La, - Watson was in a good mood.  
Holmes found the site of the murder. It was a small cozy place, soaked in blood. Holmes adjusted his glasses and rushed there to look for clues.

4

 

— Sherlock! How long we must turn over rocks to find evidence? — angrily growled John.  
— Let's go home, John, — very calmly replied Sherlock, - you got wet, I got wet. Now come have some hot tea and then... I will rest. UV.

5

 

— Holmes!!!  
\- Poor Irene! - was cry drunk in thing Holmes.  
— Holmes? Hey, you are drunk!!!  
— Please, Joan!!!

And the bloody denouement

 

1

 

— We will arrest you!!! — barked Holmes on tall wiry type in a threadbare suit.  
— For what? — staggered type.  
— For the murder of a poor innocent girl...  
— What girl? — type thought. - Oh yeah... I remember...  
— Why did you kill her?  
— Because you can't be beautiful like this!!!

2

 

— And here is the stone... - said a weary Holmes, - and here's the second corpse... hanging...  
— Hmm. - Watson spared a man's body, dangling from a noose, — it's second cousin once removed third sister great-grandmother's fifth husband's fifth sister my brother.  
— You have a brother? - said Holmes.

3

 

The evidence was found. It was a corpse. Male. But it wasn't just the corpse. It was Moriarty himself, without half of his skull.

4

 

— Who's the killer? - John asks, sitting on the couch in a warm blanket and clutching a mug of hot tea.  
— Sadly, — replied Sherlock, on the other end of the sofa, - Anderson.  
— For God's sake, — a tongue Twister said John.  
— I already called the Grim.

5

 

— So who killed Irene?  
— Lestrade... drunk... - and Holmes began to sob harder.


	156. A letter from nowhere

The first letter

"My dear Watson! This letter I inform you this — they put me in a mental hospital. "Why?" — tell me and you will be right. Because I crossed a police inspector. He thought that I want to take his place, but I never wanted to. I just wanted to investigate crimes. Here is one of them and brought me to this house of sorrow.  
Well I can say one thing. It does not matter that my doctor is a latent homosexual with paranoid inclinations, and two nurse night shift — I hate all around, and my roommate play at Columbus, I now have the time and space to think about my life.  
I'll write letters when I get the chance. Goodbye, my dear friend Watson."

 

The second letter

"Watson. I have some bad news. I am sitting in a madhouse. "Right," you say and you'd be right. I do not like it for one reason — there is not give opium in the quantities to which I am accustomed. And so it's OK. The doctor who treats me, a tireless womanizer. Nurses consume cannabis. My neighbor considers himself a Russian Tsar Peter, I'm fine. Letters will get when I remember that I need you to write. Goodbye, Watson."

 

The third letter

"My good doctor! You wrote Holmes. Wrote you from the madhouse. "Thank God!" — tell me and you will be right. Finally you sent me away. I got there purely on the stupidity of our inspector. But it's all nonsense. Then quietly, calmly. Sit, think. My doctor is a psycho with experience. Nurses — with each other in a fight. My roommate convinced that he was the fifth Doctor Who.  
Goodbye my doctor."

 

Fourth letter

"Hi, John. I am in the nuthouse. And I do not like it. John, come over here and get me out of here. Please.“

 

The fifth letter

"Hello, Joan. I'm in a madhouse. Do not come here. Doing drugs injected for free. I'm fine here.“


	157. Letters to nowhere

The first letter

"My dear Holmes!  
I hasten to announce good news. I was attracted to your problem of your brother, and he attracted even more ranks, so soon You'll be out of there. I really miss Mary and Mrs. Hudson, too.  
We are all the same. Crime has gone up, and uncover to no one. But soon we'll see each other again.  
Whereupon leave.  
Your doctor Watson."

 

The second letter

"My dear Holmes! I admit that I had a hand in getting you into a Bedlam. I hope you don't mind. Good-Bye, Holmes. Without you on the streets of London was much quieter."

 

The third letter

"Holmes! We are tired of you! So to rescue you we will not. You are on Baker street are necessary to nobody — neither I nor Martha, nor to the inspector. So sit and blather. Your Watson."

 

Fourth letter 

"Sherlock!  
You're still a little patience. We go to you for help. I raised all on my feet when you did not return from the next crime. Greg thinks this is the work of Moriarty. Don't get bummed. We will come and save.  
We all miss you very much.  
Your John. "

 

The fifth letter

"You wrote Joan Watson.  
Thank God for that! You there, Holmes, is the place! I finally got rid of you! What happiness!"


	158. A moment first.

...covered with blood the carpet stood a chaise longue, covered with red plush, which has become almost black from a large number of thickened blood. On the Ottoman was lying dead naked woman. Her body was the crown of creation of Nature, but someone outraged at this gorgeous body. Her exquisitely moulded head with a mane of long blond hair lay in a pool of blood. Lush Breasts were cut off and rested on a crystal dish beside plump buttocks. The dish was full of blood.

Holmes stood in the doorway and looked at that. He was completely relaxed, and all this shameless Orgy of the dead-the naked body aroused in him only a feeling of satisfaction.

Holmes had seen it all.  
And screaming luxury of the room — all these heavy velvet curtains, Turkish rugs, Chinese vases.  
And the murder weapon... curve Turkish scimitar sticking out in the middle of the chest.  
Holmes knew... who killed... and got killed.  
The murdered woman was Frau Elsa Rosenkrantz.  
And the killer was Friedrich von Barbarossa.

Somewhere in the depth of the house cried Mrs. Brown, the housekeeper Frau Elsa.

Behind Holmes someone coughed. Holmes turned around. On the threshold stood a non-commissioned officer.  
— Herr Holmes?  
\- Yes, - he answered.  
— You can tell what happened here?  
-Yes,- inspired, he answered, looking at the black form of the corporal with two SS in the picture, - there was a murder.  
— Are you sure? - said the Sergeant, eyeing suspiciously the skinny-type in a plaid coat, - and someone got killed?  
— Elsa Fraulein Rosenkrantz...  
— Who?  
— Herr Friedrich von Barbarossa.  
— Are you sure? — repeated the question a non-commissioned officer.  
-Yes, - Holmes pointed the tube at the body of the murdered woman, — you see that over there, on the blonde hair of dark curly pubic hair?  
-You see, - confirmed the Sergeant.  
— So here. Herr Barbarossa caught Fraulein Elsa in the arms of another man... And I even know... who...  
— And whom? — asked the Sergeant.  
\- Giuseppe Mussolini... the nephew of Benito.  
— We need to get a deposition, - panted the Sergeant, - come with us.  
\- Okay, - he answered, turned and took a step out of the room.


	159. I F H

— AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
— What are you yelling for, Fox?  
— There's something going...  
— What? - asked Dana.  
— I don't know.  
— UFO?  
— No, something else. What don't you see?  
— Now look, - Dana looked through the binoculars, - and I know it.  
— And what?  
— Identified Flying Holmes!  
— Great, now — only able to utter Fox Mulder.


	160. Feet Andy Merach

— Watson?  
— Yes?  
— Whose feet stick out of the fire?  
— Legs Andy Merach.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Well?  
— Whose feet stick out from under your sofa?  
\- Is leg Andy Merach.

***

 

— Martha?  
— Yes?  
— It sticks out from under the marital bed?  
\- Is leg Andy Merach.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— Yes?  
— Whose feet sticking out of the bath?  
— Legs Andy Merach.

***

— Joan?  
— Yes?  
— Whose feet sticking out of the closet?  
— Legs Andy Merach.

***

 

— Dana?  
\- What?  
— Whose feet stick out from under the blanket?  
— Legs Andy Merach.

***

 

— Jack?  
— Yes, Doctor?  
— Whose feet stick out from under the TARDIS?  
— Legs Andy Merach.


	161. The extraordinary adventures of John

It was a normal London morning.  
Dense fog lip to the Windows; it was unclear up grotesque figure, resembling a low-budget horror movie.  
Sherlock woke up and decided to take a shower.  
The apartment was quiet.  
Very quiet.

Sherlock climbed under the hot water. Several minutes stood, with pleasure feeling the hot water running over his body, and then decided to wash my hair. Going. Is hidden in a hot pair, and washes my hair, when suddenly...  
— Sherlock! I'm hot! Whether it is impossible more careful!!!  
The Voice Of John.  
In the bathroom.  
Very close.  
Sherlock shook his head, fast accurate eye looking around the room.  
No, but him in the bathroom was empty.

— "Heard" — thought Sherlock and returned to the interrupted lesson.  
\- Hey! Can you hear me in? — again John, but annoyed.  
Sherlock began to examine the ceiling, walls, floor... shower curtain... the mirror... bath. And suddenly saw John.  
— What are you doing here? — dumbfounded said Holmes, staring at his friend, — and how did you get here?  
— Where you sent me yesterday, where I came — angrily snarled at John, folding his arms.  
\- I see, - said Sherlock, though he did not understand. He was at a loss.  
— Come on, come on, — said John, — I have already cleaned up.  
-All right, - bluntly replied to this statement Sherlock and returned to the interrupted lesson.

After a shower, Sherlock got dressed and went to the room John. He really was laying on his bed, covered with a blanket.  
— You see, - huskily muttered John, — my body, you know, lying there unconscious, and I'm fuck knows where.  
\- Maybe you can get back to yourself, if you're in yourself? — uncertainly Sherlock, giving John a breath of fresh air.  
— What are you doing, slim curly? — John said no, - don't!!! I will cripple you later!!!  
\- Okay, - went back down Sherlock, - but what do we do then?  
— Probably, you have to send back, - after some thought, expressed John.  
— Fuck you, John! - smiled Sherlock, but nothing happened.  
What was the situation, and remained so.  
— Apparently, the intensity of need, - thoughtfully said John, scratching himself in a head lock.  
From this movement Sherlock just shrugged.  
— Let's not do this — quietly asked Sherlock, — and generally the cell phone rings.  
— Well, — John hopelessly closed his eyes.

The day was generally uneventful. Well... there were certainly some moments when John because of all the forces eager for freedom, and Sherlock had to hold it back, catching himself on the unequivocal views of Donovan and Anderson.

Finally Sherlock collapsed into his favorite chair.  
— Set me free! — yelled John, — I stuffy!!!  
— No, — said wearily, Sherlock, - just sit tight. To us Grim rises...  
\- Sherlock... - is on the threshold began Greg, - what's wrong with you tonight?  
— All right... — smiled at Sherlock.  
-No,- snapped Greg, - have you been...uh... slightly excited. Even no, you were VERY excited today. What happened?  
\- Nothing, - went in the dead of Sherlock.  
— Come on, — was not far behind Greg, - John had a fight or a girl crush?  
\- Greg, would you get the hell away, - not politely said John.  
-So, - Greg began in a panic to look around, - where'd you get that John?  
— You heard, - Sherlock stood up and turned toward the window.  
-All right, - an ominous voice said and Greg left.

— John! — said Sherlock, - would you!!! Because of you I got into a clear position!!!  
Silence was his answer.

The next day, Sherlock got up and went to the kitchen. There was clattering pans John. He glowered at Sherlock, but didn't say anything. Sherlock didn't say anything.


	162. The second moment

...dear patrician Sherlocks Holmses motionless as a statue, stood on a cobbled square in Rome. Around his feet was stretched the dead body of Gaius Julius Caesar. It has just fallen from the steps of the Senate, leaving a trail of blood, and fell at the feet of Holmses, having sprinkled the blood of his snow-white toga.

Sherlocks raised his head. His black curly hair was carefully styled; the folds of the white toga and tunic were perfect, he wore a pair of gold sandals.

— The People Of Rome!!! — he cried, — Caesar was killed!!! And the murderer BRUTUS!!!

But then it rolled a crowd of angry senators, noble and patrician of Sherlocks Holmes hurried to escape.

He ran a few blocks, he slowed down and soon came to a pretty Villa, twined with Myrtle. Entering the gate, noble patrician passed through the garden, which housed a small fountain, made in the form of a small bronze of a Faun, and went to the door. Opened it...


	163. Sadness

I'm a bad angel  
I can't defend those  
To whom became attached,  
Who have feelings,

But it hurts,  
Hurts  
What I'm worried about all that  
For friends,  
And for those of my friends  
Are not.

 

I forgave all,  
After all, there are no bad people,  
Until they prove otherwise.  
I write, and my nose dripping blood,  
I feel the taste of blood.

Before she started,  
Now, in the nasopharynx.  
I unsettled angel,  
I don't fit into the world  
I can't write the same works,  
Because it's boring.

 

I'm surrounded by many people,  
Many of them trying to stand out,  
Remain in a homogeneous mass of the crowd.  
Some stand out.  
With them interesting.  
But they — other...

Not like that, but it's easier for them.  
They know how to camouflage themselves.  
And to me harder, I can't do.  
I am hard and cynical on the outside,  
But a romantic at heart.  
And this disharmony prevents.

 

But I love my friends  
And I love your muses,  
Love and peace,  
And give - try to give  
His love, joy and light to others...

Not always it turns out  
Sometimes you come across  
On the edge of other people's grievances  
And my soul to shreds,  
Then back coarse thread  
And wonder —  
"For that I actually hurt?"

 

Okay...  
You decide my friends,  
What I angel — bad or confused?  
Today Christmas has come and gone.  
Forgive all the words and insults,  
Addressed to me,  
I apologize for my wrongdoings,

I pray for you all,  
Known and unknown,  
So you have all been well,  
Make everybody healthy and happy.


	164. Monkey tales start

— Holmes!  
— Yes?  
\- The monkey ran away.  
— What is the monkey? — Holmes opened his eyes and his pipe fell from his mouth.  
— Big, — replied Watson. He looked terrible — the whole ragged in the blood.  
— What is it with you, dear friend? - Holmes looked at the lad, - you know, Watson, you look kind of strange. I'm not talking about the fact that you suffered from the attack of the apes, the orangutan is likely. I say that you are very oddly dressed. You have any unusual pants of blue canvas sheet, a plaid shirt, under it a black t-shirt, boots.  
— And you, Sherlock, strangely you... Yes you and not Holmes! Sherlock throws smoke, and you smoke a pipe. Once smoked on Christmas eve and all. Where are you Sherlock? Quickly answer?


	165. The tale of a drunken orangutan

1

 

The great detective Sherlock Holmes in billowing the cloak, shifted sideways cap and furiously Smoking a pipe ran through the dark winding streets of London. He was looking for the monster that six hours ago killed six people.  
By logical reasoning of Holmes was that the killer was not distinguished intellect, but possessed the power of six.  
Started the hunt for the killer of three of Holmes, Watson and Lestrade.  
Lestrade soon behind, shouting a goodbye that will come to the police cab.  
A couple of alleys Holmes no longer hear the wheezing Watson.  
— "Behind, poor fellow!" thought Holmes.  
He ran six lanes, when suddenly heard someone breathing. And after a few minutes, out of the darkness emerged Watson elegant in long cashmere overcoat and dandyish bowler hat.  
— Holmes! You some not so! — suspiciously asked Watson, - when did you change? And anyway where are we going?  
— For a murderer! — he answered.  
— Well! - agreed Watson.

They ran through a couple of alleyways and came upon traces of the killer.  
\- Is the coat of the orangutan! - said Watson.  
\- That is strange. — Holmes frowned and stopped.  
\- What's strange? - get Watson.  
— The weird thing is, my dear friend, what you usually see something, breathy consider it and then ask me what it can be. And today, you, clearly, without your usual kind of surprised, told me that the coat of the orangutan. You are making progress.  
— Do not mock me, Holmes! — angry Watson, - what you said you normally do, and then with a blunt chuckle declare that you wanted to test my knowledge! So we catch the beast?  
— And you are armed?  
— Revolver.  
— Not in your Desk drawer? - said Holmes.  
— Here it is! - Watson demonstrated the weapon.  
— Now, come, Watson! - and Holmes rushed at the huge orang.

2

 

The great detective Sherlock Holmes in billowing the cloak, shifted sideways cap and furiously Smoking a pipe ran through the dark winding streets of London. He was looking for the monster that six hours ago killed six people.  
By logical reasoning of Holmes was that the killer was not distinguished intellect, but possessed the power of six.

Watson fell behind together with Lestrade, though the inspector left behind earlier.  
But he heard somebody breathing, and to the left of the Holmes Watson emerged with a sparkling scalpel blade.  
— Watson? What's wrong with you? - surprised Holmes and had something. Watson was dressed in a coat, over which was thrown a plaid shawl, high laced boots brown leather, - when you have time to change? And get the scalpel, you can cut yourself...  
— Something I don't recognize you, Holmes... - Watson appraisingly glanced at Holmes, as if, where he will do a preemptive strike, — you need me I'm afraid and lose points... by the Way, where are your glasses? And you have something longer?  
— I don't need to kill, - said Holmes, - as there is the capture of the beast...  
\- All right, - serene said Watson, - after you take down the beast... Holmes! I will now reveal!!!  
\- No way, - Holmes began to run.

3

 

The great detective Sherlock Holmes in billowing the cloak, shifted sideways cap and furiously Smoking a pipe ran through the dark winding streets of London. He was looking for the monster that six hours ago killed six people.  
By logical reasoning of Holmes was that the killer was not distinguished intellect, but possessed the power of six.

— Watson? What is it with you? And what are you wearing? - Holmes glanced back at his companion. His good doctor was dressed in pants made of blue canvas sheet, plaid shirt, black jacket and black laced boots.  
\- With me it's all right, Sher... Holmes? Holmes?! You? — Watson braked, — and where is Sherlock?  
— I am Sherlock Holmes, - the great detective had stopped, - what you embarrassed, my dear friend?  
— You're not Sherlock, - Watson stared suspiciously at Holmes, — what have you done with Sherlock?  
— We make a break for the orangutan, or we will find out who of us is who? — angrily muttered Holmes.  
— It is clear where you put Sherlock, - ask Watson, - while I am with you.

4

 

The great detective Sherlock Holmes in billowing the cloak, shifted sideways cap and furiously Smoking a pipe ran through the dark winding streets of London. He was looking for the monster that six hours ago killed six people.  
By logical reasoning of Holmes was that the killer was not distinguished intellect, but possessed the power of six.

Woman's scream cut through the night and ended in a groan or cry, "Cue - me!!!"  
Holmes jumped on the Boulevard. Over the prostrate orangutan stood a small Chinese woman in pants and jacket.  
— Who are you, miss?  
— Joan Watson! - she smiled.  
— And unless Watson has a sister? — puzzled scratched his turnips Holmes, - his brother — an alcoholic, who died.  
— I itself, — proudly said the Chinese woman, - and I don't know — and went into the London night.

***

 

— Grandfather! Grandfather! And you evil people are not caught? - cried grandchildren.  
\- No, - said the old orangutan and stroked grandchildren, - is not I was, that your uncle was, here he's the asshole was. Now go to sleep.


	166. Tale glamorous monkeys

1

 

— Holmes? What's wrong with you?  
— And what's wrong with me? -asked Holmes, lying on the couch and Smoking opium.  
— Do you smoke opium? Cocaine is not enough? There is no ether?  
— I'm sick of everything, Watson! You and some weird Dressed... not! And don't look like that!!! and you're a monkey  
\- Is not I like! — angry Watson, - is by your apartment six monkeys running around!  
\- Green and yellow?  
\- RED!!!!!  
\- Good opium, — said Holmes, and plunged into the drug ecstasy.

2

 

— Holmes? I see you got hooked on opium?  
— Who is that? - Holmes turned his head and stared at the newcomer.  
— I Am Watson!  
— No, you are not Watson, Watson plaid doesn't have it.  
— Don't you Holmes! My Holmes is afraid of me and does not accept drugs.  
\- And the monkey sits.  
\- And four more, and you're a monkey like you... And I will now reveal.  
— Open, Watson! — lazily said Sherlock Holmes, — you are my bug, and nothing I can do!  
— Not interested, — has muttered Watson and disappeared from the room.

3

 

— Cher... who are you?  
— Who are you? - Holmes portrayed the palm tree, on which sat four monkeys.  
— I John! John Watson!  
— You are not Watson! My Watson beats me!  
— Well! - and John punched Holmes so that he crashed to the floor, - satisfied?  
— Still — not Watson! The shot is not so delivered, — said Holmes, and passed out.

4

 

— Who are you? - asked Holmes, sitting on the bed. On the causal place he had a pillow.  
— I am your doctor, - said the pretty Chinese woman, - Joan Watson. You know where you are?  
— No.  
— You're in a hospital for the mentally ill. You have caught when you were running naked through the city and yelling that you're a Red Monkey!  
— I do not remember, - said Holmes, smiling.  
— You were stoned, - said the Chinese woman, — we'll get you cured.

***

 

— Oh, don't lie! - said the black monkey in a pink dress — nonsense.  
— One herself, the Molly you're not glamorous, - replied her friend, the bright red monkey in a purple dress, — I prima monkey chorus, and I'm not lying. This is the adventures of my sisters, they tortured him so that he was crazy.  
— Okay, you girls, - said a brown monkey in the green, - in ten minutes us on stage!  
— You're right, Bess. - and all the monkeys began to smarten up and painted.


	167. The brooding tale of Gibbon

1

 

— Holmes?  
— Watson? - Holmes flinched, almost dropped glasses in a bowl of soup, - is there something you wanted?  
— You seem nervous... today, - commented Watson, — and look strange. You never wore glasses... and were above...  
— I -- my whole life like this... — mumbled Holmes, - now if you'll excuse me...  
— What is it with Holmes? - thought Watson was alone, - yesterday he was bitten by a rabid Gibbon... perhaps this is the consequences...

2

 

— Holmes?  
— Watson?  
— What's wrong with you?  
— And you?  
— I'm fine, where's the scalpel?  
\- Yeah I don't wear any...  
— So you want to open?  
— No.  
— Thank God for that!

3

 

— Cher... Hey, why are you fled from me? And anyway, what are you doing here?  
— I — Holmes. - he said and adjusted his glasses.  
— No, you are not Holmes! My high haired son of a genius son! And not wearing glasses!  
— Where's the scalpel?  
— And told me why? — confused Watson.  
— Me to open up, - Holmes clung to the wall, ready at every moment to jerk aimlessly...  
\- Is mad, - said Watson, — you rabid monkey bite.  
— Yes... old... toothless...

4

 

— Where am I?  
— In the hospital.  
— Who are you?  
\- Doctor.  
— What's your name?  
— Joan Watson.  
\- I feel Holmes. Sherlock Holmes. And how did I get here?  
— You the monkey bit, and then you a little crazy.  
— Well... rest at last, — said Holmes, smiling and fell asleep.

***

 

— Uncle! Are you really bitten these people? - asked the nephew.  
— No, your aunt was, - replied big hairy Gibbon, - is like fermented fruit feels full and brawl.


	168. Tale cool gorilla

1

 

— Holmes!!! — voice low reddish man in a light overcoat; was clutching in his fist a huge black gorilla.  
— John!!! I'm coming!!! — A tall brunette ran up to the beast and stopped. - Hey! And who are you?  
— Watson! — tearful voice said Watson, — you to save me?  
— I do, but you're obviously not John. I do not know.  
Sherlock climbed on the gorilla saved a certain citizen and released.

2

 

— Holmes!!! I'm terribly sorry!!! But could you please help me!!!  
— Who are you? - surprised skinny brunette in the black coat.  
— I Am Watson!  
— Are you sure? Watson himself would have escaped...  
— You save me — grinned Watson, - and then we'll talk.  
\- Save, not now, not like you I...

3

 

— Holmes!!! Immediately save me!!! And I will reveal!!!  
— I will not, - replied the brunette in a black coat, - and generally, you have a scalpel... you save yourself.

4

 

— Force closed on my phone!  
— Girl! Don't shout!!!  
— Who are you?  
\- Sherlock!!!  
\- But you don't look like him! — said the Chinese woman, — not a bit.  
— I — Holmes. And I'll save you!

***

 

— Oh! It was cool, bro! - said red-haired orang black jacket black a powerful gorilla in a red and yellow jacket.  
— Of course... but it's my grandfather was. King Kong you know?  
— I heard...  
— The coolest dude from Alba to Omaha!


	169. Soon, soon the New year.

— Holmes?  
\- What?  
— What are you doing?  
— And guess?  
\- You have something to cut...  
— Elementary, Watson, — Holmes scooped cut with a spoon, put it in his mouth, chewed, — salt is not enough.  
— And what would it be? — asked Watson.  
\- Salad "Olivier" recipe Holmes, - replied the great detective.

***

 

— Watson?  
\- Mind.  
— What do you do?  
— You're a detective, so guess.  
— You cut... salad...  
\- Elementary, Holmes. It will be a salad "snow winter" on my wife's recipe.

***

 

— What are you doing, Watson?  
— Do.  
\- What?  
— Ravioli.  
— Ah! Why meat sticks?  
— Shut up, Holmes, and help get... and then you will be stuffed.

***

 

— John?  
— Yes?  
— What are you doing?  
— Like what?  
— It seems that you're making dinner.  
— That's right, Sherlock, — John smiled, - hop in, come on. Will be grinding the filling for a pie.

***

 

— Joan and today will be a gala dinner?  
— Will, will, not you...  
— And from whom? — Holmes was taken aback.  
— I'm in a restaurant having dinner, and... where you want.


	170. Food

— Holmes, I and you gifts have prepared...  
\- Thank you, dear friend, but you eat...  
— Very tasty, Holmes, - chewed Watson, - of arsenic there no?  
— Insulting, Watson, — Holmes chewed the wing of a goose's, - opium Nemer...

***

 

— Watson! Eat, I tried!  
— All very tasty, - praised Watson, - I was the only one something like this... inadequate... Like and drank a little...  
\- Why, Watson, I added the hashish...

***

 

— Holmes, what are you looking at my cooking?  
\- Sorry, I didn't mean...  
— Eat, eat, Holmes...It is delicious, there is arsenic.

***

 

\- I ordered a pizza.  
\- I cooked a goose and pie  
\- Sherlock, that's so sweet.  
\- Thank you.

***

 

— Bite me, Holmes!  
— You too.


	171. Gifts

\- Holmes, and I have a gift for you!  
— Well, — smiled Holmes, — I have a surprise for you.  
— First I, — Watson looked upset, — Mrs. Watson is pregnant!!!  
— I know who! — grinned Holmes.  
— But... isn't me? — Watson was taken aback.  
— No, dear friend! Is your wife pregnant from me, and Mrs. Hudson. So congratulations, buddy, and let's drink to double happiness.

***

 

— Holmes! But I have a Christmas present...  
\- And I too... for you... So who's first?  
— Irene Adler is pregnant...  
— Your wife too.  
— How could you, Holmes?!  
— Exactly the same as you, Watson!

***

— Holmes?  
\- Happy new year, my dear Watson!  
— With a new broken tooth, Holmes! Come on, confess, when you managed to patch up my wife the baby?!  
— It's not me, Watson! — scared Holmes, — Lestrade. I tried to dissuade him, honestly, and he said you were in love with his work and not notice anything.  
— Damn it! Well, inspector, well, you son of a bitch! 

***

\- Sit down, Sherlock, and listen to me.  
— What happened? - gray eyes looked concerned at John, - and where the gifts?  
— Now..., - so John carefully sat Sherlock in a chair and sat down in a nearby, - gift first. Mycroft pregnant.  
— From whom? - whispered Sherlock.  
\- From Moriarty. A gift to the other. Martha is also pregnant.  
— And her?  
\- From Greg. The third gift. Donovan is also in position.  
— And... she's from Anderson.  
— That's Right, Sherlock. Molly is pregnant.  
— From whom?  
\- From you.  
\- Hell.  
— Mary pregnant...  
\- Congratulations...  
— So... that's not all...  
\- Is someone else pregnant? - Sherlock looked at John's bewildered, - and who?  
\- You...  
— What?! — As much as Sherlock jumped up from his chair, - what! From who?!  
\- You know... - John hesitated, - not quite sure...  
— But... but... - Sherlock was in a state of shock, - we... were... not... close... right?  
— I think it's captain Harkness tried...  
— Oh, no, - Sherlock swayed and lost consciousness.  
Woke up only twenty minutes later, on the floor, his head on his knees John...  
— I really...  
— No, the God of mercy, you're not pregnant, - declared John, - I joked. This is captain Harkness is pregnant...  
— And... others?

***

 

— Joan, are you pregnant?  
\- And?  
\- Who's the lucky guy?  
— Not you, Holmes! — Joan snorted and went to his room.  
— And they, too, have some wine and calm down.


	172. Christmas

— Carol — Malaga!  
White powder,  
Holmes let  
One for the road!  
\- Is what you doing, Watson?  
— Sing carols.  
— And what of it?  
— Pour or something, and I to Mrs. Hudson will go.

***

 

— Christmas!  
Christmas!  
Flew to the winds!  
And took the walk!  
Give me pie  
Potatoes...  
And a little ale!  
— What are you doing, Holmes?  
— Sing carols.  
— What?  
— Beg for you food.  
— It is clear.

***

 

— Kolodochka, Malagasy,  
I want a muffin,  
Pie and cake...  
I throw in the mouth.  
— Watson? Are you crazy?  
— No. I sing carols! Holmes, chase food, and you will reveal!

***

 

— Carol, Malacca,  
Delicious chocolate,  
And pie  
Fly me to the pigs!  
— Shirley, what is it?  
— Christmas carols.  
— What?  
— Begging for food at Christmas.  
— It is clear.  
— So pie and chocolate?  
— We'll see.

***

 

— Carol — Malaga!  
I need the TARDIS!  
The tenth doctor,  
The baleen.  
And pies,  
Sausages,  
And a little affection!  
— Jack, what are you doing?  
— Merry Christmas, doctor!


	173. Almost people

— What are we doing here? — a small round little man in worn pants on a naked body bent over a zinc table, on which lay the body parts...

To the horror of the human body, resembling a table dippy eater, but alas...

It was part of the high-tech androids, cyborgs and nanorods.

— Well, asked me the problem, - grumbled the fat man, accustomed to collecting items from the human body, - and cute, and muscular, and the chest was so broad, and so blonde, and so blue eyes... And don't know that at the current prices and such a terrible fashion for blondes, I may be not be what they want. Well the girl ordered as well as solid man. Partner what do you want? Although, perhaps, as a gift. Well. It is not my business. My job is to collect, and the rest I don't care...

Grumbled, but did did. However, the resulting instance was a wheat blond with blue eyes.

— Well, — said the fat man, gave jeans to the game and told to sit down in a chair.

The bell rang, and the door admitted a handsome man in a red silk shirt, black leather pants and a gold chain on her neck.  
— Well what?  
\- There he is, — the fat man pointed to the Android.  
The man approached him, very willingly looked at it, felt it, looked at his teeth, tested the response of the eye.  
— Fine. I'm taking it. Here is your money, - the man threw a wad of money on the table.

A week later.

\- Mr. Hess? Who is it?  
— This is my... nephew... Jackson Haynes  
— Yes? Why I didn't see him? — thin woman in a black knitted dress appraisingly looked at the young blond man in a flawless tuxedo, with careless laziness collapsed in a chair.  
— He lived in this dirt hole, — gasped Mr. Hess, - at New-New - London.  
— And what was he doing there?  
— Studied.  
— Yeah, — fastidiously pursed her lips the woman, - and I thought you your friend found?  
— No. But I want to play. It will be great.

Two weeks later.

— Jack, are you going to do something?  
— I don't want to do anything, ' replied the wheat blond.  
— But you need to do stubbornly said an elderly man of about sixty, holding the blond Blaster, - go and kill this man.  
— By law, I can't do...  
— You have no choice.  
— I have a choice. And I don't want to do.  
— You're not human, Jack. Rather, you're almost a man...  
— That's why I don't want to do. You can kill me, or to disassemble, but I wouldn't do it...  
— Forgive me, Jack! — the man took the Blaster and pulled the trigger.

Jack smiled before the shot and... everything.

High-tech head expensive Android shattered into tiny droplets that settled on the floor and walls a bluish tinge shock-absorbing fluid.

But he did not know that soon he will revive.

But who and why... no one knew.


	174. Revolutionary

— I'll tell you more! Who is he to command us? If he created darkness and light, and man, it does not mean that he created us? If he didn't create us, then we are the original life forms, then we are above it. We are perfect beings!  
\- I don't think you're right.  
— Because you think he is the one who we should obey? Why? Don't we serve as ambassadors between him and the people? why at the gates is a man? Why don't we? Why don't you, Belial?  
— He created us before we make the material world...  
— Are you sure?  
— Yes  
\- No I haven't. And so I challenge him!

Many centuries later

— And you've accomplished it all?  
— Freedom! Yes, despise me, hate me, but I'm free...  
— I'm not sure that you are free... Freedom is a thing internal, not material. If there is freedom in yourself, then you're free......  
— I... now not sure... But I reconciled with it will not. Don't even ask.  
— I will not insist.


	175. Strange thoughts

The sky is blue.

Frost.

Winter.

I'm sad.

Yesterday SMS received from a friend. Asked if I phone one person and this person at the end of the summer took from me and turned away. Without explanation. Hid.

So here's my second friend asks me about the phone, and I ask — why?

And he says that the second, posting pictures of cut arms.  
Why?

We're very well connected.

In the forest run hither, telling each other stories of all sorts.

I'm in the club brought in. He found me himself. Him "Lupin III" the whole needed. And I have all the series along with feature-length films was assembled.

Useful guy. The box I made. With online shopping helped.

And now... huddled somewhere... sits... silent.

Just like one of my angel...

All right.

Sit, write, invent.

Frozen works I do not have the inspiration. Let's wait and we'll write. I know their music — it is better not to rush. All the way through. But later.

I love you all.

All — 44 of the reader.

Three angels.

Okay. 

Merry Christmas to all!


	176. One fun day in Cardiff

— Gentlemen! The meeting is now open! The first speaker will be Mr. Holmes, of the seventh ward.  
— Ladies and gentlemen! I am sure that in our house, spooky things happen. Nurses are poisoning us! Chefs do not report food! and the worst thing is our doctor is a maniac!  
— I have an objection!!! - cried the small man in striped pajamas.  
\- Hmm! Mr. Jack the Ripper has an objection! Listen!  
— I promise you... Our doctor is not a maniac! Our doctor worse. Maniac is me! And our fairy! I saw myself!  
— I object! — shouted a young man in an elegant suit straight.  
— So captain Jack Harkness is the word.  
— Our doctor is not gay! He is supernatural! I saw he had an Orgy with three pedestre.  
— I think our doctor... now.. sitting here, so little... he still presides.  
— How is it that you took, Doctor Who's fifteenth chamber?  
— My screwdriver tells me  
\- Hush, gentlemen! - the Chairman tapped his foot on the table with his fist failed, for he was in a straitjacket, - hush! Today, I have one question on the agenda. DO YOU NEED TO TRUST THE DOCTOR?  
— No!  
\- Mr. Dorian is the word!  
— I don't like it! He treats me like... to fuck!  
— It is clear.  
— I think the doctor's listening...  
\- Mr. TARDIS! Your opinion is very interesting!  
— And let the prank do...  
\- Mr. Moriarty! Your offer will be considered... later...  
— Let's... kill him...  
\- Mr. Cumberbatch — you have strange thoughts!  
— These are not my thoughts, these are thoughts slasher of the thirty-third ward.  
— Very good thoughts!  
— Let's...  
\- Mr. Harkness! Have you something else?  
\- Yeah I think I can stop all this... Over the cries be heard... the orderlies probably  
\- Yes, it's not nurses...  
— Mrs. Marple! Are you not sleeping?  
— No. Someone doctor to death for fuck's sake. And we need now to to spread.  
— Who is it?  
— And this you of Dupin with Lupin from the fortieth house ask. They are neighbors with the office of the chief physician.  
— And where are they?  
— And there I sleep, curled up with Terminator.  
— Well. All the chambers.


	177. Hugs

— Why are you so gloomy? — asked Ben Mick`s, — you already the third week of sulking... And Christmas is not really celebrated, What is it?  
-Nothing, - answered Mick, — I'm just bad.  
— You have offended boss or partner gets stuck? - Ben continued to ask the man.

They sat on the porch and stared at the sapphire lagoon, which lazily rolled white horses small waves.  
— Well, you can tell me what's bothering you? — was angry with Ben.  
— I'm fine — sluggish snarled Mick. Actually he is already a month was sick of the scapula. The pain was so strong that Mick even sit anywhere couldn. He turned to the doctor, but no doctor showed no abnormalities. One Mick knew what really was in pain.

His wings ran. And after a molt, they could grow another couple of inches. and yet... someone was in desperate need of his help. Someone... very close and dear.

— Ben! — Mick finally decided, — you have no problems?  
— No, — replied Ben, — all in chocolate. What?  
\- Yeah... maybe you need help...  
— Mick, — Ben smiled, - I need you.  
— No. You need Sophie, baby Christopher and your work, and I'm so... because so far...  
— No. All the things you mentioned, in the first place, and you're on the second. and don't argue, I know better.  
\- Okay,- Mick didn't argue.

One week Mick and Ben were sitting at a little restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. Sat, ate, talked. Ben, dressed in black pants and a blue plaid shirt, talked about what he wants to do a 3D animated series for some fanfiction that found online, and Mick — and he was all in black + vest — its just taking the piss, saying that perhaps Ben has got not really a decent fanfiction . They talked thus for half an hour, when suddenly on the Boulevard there was a black jeep. With a crash he rolled to one building, and out jumped the men in black.  
— Allah Akbar!!! - he screamed as one and in the air machine.

All ran helter-skelter.

Mick pulled Ben from his chair, shoved into the building and quickly called his superiors.  
— Mick ! Please! — pleadingly asked Ben, - do not go to hell! I need you!  
— Ben! — Mick soothingly put Ben on the shoulder, - don't worry. All will be well. And I need to help evacuate the people on the street. If anything, on your left — the back door. Get out and run.  
\- And leave you here? — protested Ben.  
— I'm a COP! - said Mick, standing up near the door of the restaurant, - and you are a civilian! And you can't risk. I went, — Mick ran outside.  
Ben remained seated. He hated himself for what he is a civilian and can't help Mick`s in saving lives. Beat yourself, not measles — and nothing will, even if just to sit and feel sorry for myself. And so Ben got up and walked to the door. He did not climb in the open, camouflaged and saw...

The street was empty.  
The jeep stood near the building.  
About the jeep ran about ten armed people, something guttural screaming voices.  
On the opposite side of the street was the Mick.  
And all...  
Quiet.

Ben knelt down and crawled to the other corner of the window.

The police never observed.

But then one of the black people took the grenade launcher and hit the nearest cafe.  
There was a massive explosion, in the air flew glass, concrete and tattered bodies.

And then Ben saw that one of the terrorists makes this a great gun in the direction of a café where he and a few others were hiding.  
\- "Damn!" - he thought and yelled, — stop!

All rushed through the back door. They fled when the restaurant behind them exploded. But Ben suddenly had the feeling of sharp anxiety. Mick needed help.  
In the quick and necessary help.  
And Ben turned back.  
He snuck back yards and looked outside.

All the restaurants and cafes on fire. Mick`s on the place where Ben could see him, was gone. In the black smoke, styluses on the street, nothing was visible.  
Ben didn't show. He sat comfortably and securely disguised, and stared, trying to figure out where his friend. But Mick`s was not visible.  
Although... there he is.  
Slowly sneaks to the jeep villains...  
What was he going to do?  
The forces were unequal.  
Reinforcement was not.

But then Ben saw the black silhouette of his buddy deployed silver wings.  
But saw this and terrorists.  
They and began to shoot.  
Mick began to respond.  
His wings were half deployed.

Came a sort of pause in the shooting.

Mick lunged forward and was greeted with squally fire.  
He jerked and fell.  
The black smoke struck his body.

Ben closed his eyes.  
But in his heart still lived the anxiety, and he made a decision.  
Ben left his shelter and rushed to the other.  
Ran, hidden by the smoke, fell to his knees in front of Mick lying and, turning it, took on hands.  
Leaned over to him.  
Mick was very pale.  
His wings helplessly sprawled out on the hot asphalt. One opened fully, the second remained collapsed.  
— Mick? Mick! Sparrow is mine! Don't leave me! - Ben buried his head in hair of the friend, and his left hand fumbled at the chest conditions of the blood hand, trying to feel her heartbeat.  
But there was only blood.  
Blood... and nothing but blood.  
— Mick, — hoarsely whispered Ben, — Mick...  
He lifted her friend's body, hugged him.

It approached the terrorists, but he did not see them. Ben saw nothing. The world for him became black.  
Huge black world.  
Ben pressed cheek to cheek Mick`s...and suddenly felt the wings Mick`s wanders around.  
— Little my! - Ben squinted his eyes.  
Mick weakly smiled at him.  
— What are you doing here? — Mick looked at his friend.  
— You weep, — in the tone he replied Ben.  
— Yeah. — Mick bowed his head on Ben's shoulder; apparently, he was still weak, - and there are terrorists... we are fired...  
— I don't give a shit! — said Ben, — I just want you alive was...  
-I see, - said Mick, — and see... and feel... I know that you are in my life right now...  
— And what? - asked Ben, whose head was wandering a couple of thoughts.  
— Do you want to... — Mick smiled, — ... hold me tight and kiss her... Right?  
— Yes. - Ben grinned, - could you not?  
— You... — sigh Mick, - today.  
And Ben has his arms around Mick`s and kissed him.  
With all my heart.  
With a pure soul.

And fluttered its wings and opened... and all the terrorists in the wind.

The evening of the same day.

— Don't risk it, - grumbled Ben, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
\- You know that it is not, — Mick smiled weakly, lying on the bed. He was wounded, but not very much. And now he's tied up, lying down and yawning.  
— And I ... — Ben stroked Mick`s collarbone and kissed his friend on the lips, - you worry...  
— Enough to kiss me, — Mick turned to Ben back..  
— I,- chuckled Ben lay down beside him and hugged each other asleep, a — sleep, I'll stand watch.


	178. Bad dreams

Running along the fence, and there the entrance to the school, and you know that there's school and there was not. And for you someone running, but who is... I don't know. And run you through school, and you run the Director and screaming that the walls need painting and will not run away, some garages around.

Corpses lying around.

Bright autumn leaves on top of fly.

The dogs are barking.

No, no alarm, but the feeling of a kaleidoscope...

Everything revolves around a girl with a dog — the girl in the orange jacket and the yellow hat, and big red dog; wall with bright graffiti;  
Poplar with transparent yellow leaves, dark garages — and all this spinning and spinning before my eyes...

And here comes the one who mentally called, and took me by the sleeve of the jacket and displays on the road...

And you will find yourself in a different place. Paving stone pavement, small brick houses under tile roofs, all such unfamiliar, but familiar at the same time. You just know that you were already here and in one of these houses sit friends who are waiting for you. And you went for something and got lost.

Climb into the pocket, yeah a ticket.

And here the tram goes. Pink - yellow - blue, similar to a sausage. Sit, food. Hear the conversation.  
-To fence could not go beyond the fence something terrible is happening...  
\- Exactly.

You go out near the fence. Beautiful fence, all shiny. Behind the fence — young green ashes and elms, laughter is heard. But don't go foot over the fence, go along the fence; come back, following the fence. And suddenly I see two houses standing. Brick, three-story, flat-roof, doors and Windows boarded up. Bypassing them; there's the fence, the fence — hole, with the hole forest. A good light wood.  
Climb into the hole. This forest is bright, the path goes deep into.  
Walk along the path, I come, and then BAM... you find yourself at the top of the black ravine. Look down... and there crypts, crosses, gravestones, and... dark. And the trail.

The trail leads to the... beach. There are a lot of people. Walking on the beach and hear the conversation about the weeping rock. Climb the slope of quartz dump, and there are a couple of heaps and more... and then discover that the go through April birch forest — bright and transparent, the streams gurgle. And the road is so big; and the people rushing, and you're halfway.

You go outside, you know this street that well know, because you work on it.

Walking on the street, get to the dam. Dam cable-stayed, and about the mound... in a heap of flooded birch trees is another familiar face is busy.  
Come, ask. Then it turns out that it just stuck. Help, go further, sandy beach. Up overgrown with young spruce. Bright fluffy Christmas tree. The water is clean, the bottom is seen. And then BAM ...

Fly over it, the wing expanse of water cut

I will say that this can not be? Can. The beginning of another dream, but it brought me to this. Add to that light, sound, taste, touch...  
That's what my dreams are.  
And those two personalities, they are my beacons. When I feel bad and I for some reason frightened, they come and help me.


	179. How to get to the station

Part 1

 

Shall fade  
The brightness of the day,  
And shame  
Make me  
The crowd of onlookers and the villains?  
Alas... My fate is!

 

throws herself under a train.

 

Part 2

 

What!?  
Really?  
Suffer me  
Until the end of time?  
The law is stupid —  
If I'm in a skirt,  
That -- that kind kisses the lips of  
Others... don't even dream of it.  
As will be censure.  
But no! No these gossip,  
The idle speculation!  
Die!

 

throws a bomb in a train compartment

Part 3

 

-You are amazing, comrade Holmes. — exclaimed the friend Watson, quivering with unprecedented bliss and devouring the eyes of a tall, spare figure in a black leather coat, - you are gorgeous!  
\- You go too far, - said sharply comrade Holmes, — these are the epithets irrelevant in this case, and if you don't improve, you will have to disassemble your behavior at a Komsomol meeting house 221 b.  
— Forgive me, comrade Komsomol, I blurted out, without thinking, - apologized comrade Watson, — but all the same who killed the comrade Secretary of Cadogen West?  
\- Elementary, friend Watson! He was killed by the henchmen of the imperialist Hydra, which slowly but surely takes over the world...  
— Don't keep us in suspense, comrade Holmes, - pleaded comrade Watson, — name the name of this bourgeois vermin, that we might be trashing his Komsomol meeting!  
\- Is... Hugo Oberstein, a German spy operating under the auspices of NATO.  
\- Incredible, - whispered comrade Watson, trembling with the realization that he communicates with such great, after comrade Lenin, man.


	180. Duel

— How dare you, kind sir, to insult my horse! — in the hearts exclaimed a tall young man in a torn camisole.  
— You, my dear young friend, I do not know anyone raise their voice, - through clenched teeth low dark-haired man dressed in a brown suit of expensive wool.  
— I — Chevalier de Sherloton! — passionate said the young man, — now tell me your name, for I challenge you to a duel!  
\- As you wish. I — Chevalier Moriarsi!  
— In Saint-Germain forest, in an hour! - said Chevalier Sherloton de and rode away.  
— Bring your friends! — shouted after him Chevalier Moriarsi.

Saint-Germain forest. The hour of the day.

\- Is Jan van Sonne — merchant from the Hague, - presented his companions Chevalier Sherloton, - is Gregory Lectrodevice — priest from Warsaw, and this is Mike de Croft is the closest friend of very influential people in England and France. Proceed?  
-Of course, - Chevalier Moriarsi snatched out his sword, — defend, sir.

The scuffle was short but tragic. And when Chevalier Moriarsi fell to the ground pierced with the aorta, the enemy did not remain a live place.  
— You just had to apologize, - î whispered the Chevalier Sherloton and lost consciousness.


	181. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

— It's very bad children?  
— Just terrible, - sighed the wind, - but they are not even relatives.  
— And how am I supposed to raise them? - sighed undefined-aged woman in lace dress worn over lace Thong and bra. If you look at this woman left, she might have been about twenty, if the right — about seventy if from above, a hundred, as if from below, before us stood a young beauty of sixteen. She flew on a white satin parachute, with the edge lace.  
— So it's JUST SUPER HORRIBLE CHILDREN? - she said the East wind.  
— Yes, — he answered, — awful, super awful.  
\- Okay, - the woman said, - is what I need.

The hour of the day.  
Over the city the wind blew terrible, and unsightly around the house materialized a woman in a strict black dress. She climbed the porch and rang the doorbell. The door opened and on the threshold appeared a woman of forty, dressed in their tattered jeans and faded t-shirt.  
— Did you give ad to find a babysitter? — asked new.  
— Yes, — replied the hostess, — come in please, — and she stepped aside, letting the guest pass.

A long corridor led into a dark living room and the narrow staircase to the second floor where periodically could hear a rhythmic noise and a terrible groan.  
\- My name is Martina Grass, and this is my husband — Grim Smoker Grass, - said the lady of the house her husband sitting on the couch and in the TV screen.  
— How many children do you have? — asked the visitor.  
— One native and one... — Martina hesitated, - second taken by us from the shelter.  
— It is clear. My name is Irina Misters — I'm your new nanny. Now how about children?  
— This second! - Martina turned and shouted, - Scott Hurd Grass!!! Hammy Valley Grass!!! Immediately went down!!! Down!!!

In a few minutes ran down two youngsters. One was thirteen, and he was dressed in battered jeans and faded shirt. The boy was slender wheat blonde with huge gray eyes. The second was a little tot about ten years old, light blonde, dressed in a relatively new panties on the third floor and a light shirt.  
— Well, young people, — said Irina, looking around at the children, - I am your new nanny. What do you say?  
— Hello! — shrill chorus they said.  
— What are you doing up there again? — the mother intervened.  
— No, no, — Irina stopped her, — now I'm following them, and now we will go upstairs and look.

Upstairs new nanny was waiting a table Laden with flasks, and a cat that were waiting for their fate.  
— What do you want to do with the cat, bad boy? — honeyed Irina asked, turning to the teenager.  
\- It's not my cat — he replied, — this is a cat Hammy.  
— Okay, so you wanted to do with this cat?  
— She's pregnant, I want to make her cesarean section..  
— What a sweet boy, - murmured Irene, putting down his suitcase, from nowhere, on the floor, opening it and pulling out a leather cloak and a whip, - the cat can wait...

— What is she doing there? — listened to the screams upstairs Martina.  
— Leave her alone — muttered Grim, - she's a nurse, you probably know WHAT to do with disobedient children.


	182. Giggler

— Holmes, what are you doing here?  
— Like what? Taking a bath!  
— But, excuse me, Holmes! Now the XVI century in the yard?! What kind of tub can be a speech?  
— Let's start with the fact that we invented much later, - said Holmes wearily, — so I take a bath in the XVI century.

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— What is it with you?  
— What does it look like?  
— It seems that you're crazy...  
— Yes?  
— You dress up in armor...  
\- Of Course, Watson! I'm going on a Crusade!  
— The horror! Did you smoke your opium.  
\- Nothing a smoke, - replied Holmes, — XI century.

***

 

— Holmes?  
\- What?  
— What is it with you?  
— What?  
— Where are you going dressed like that?  
— Where? We got...  
— Why?  
— X century. Need someone to Rob...

***

 

— Sherlock? Where are you going?  
— To fight, John, to fight.  
— With whom?  
— The Danes in England invaded!  
— My God, what the Danes?  
\- John, - Sherlock took the bow, — now the IX century. Get ready.

***

 

— UH  
— ???!!!  
— AA!  
— YYYY!  
Bidis  
— WHEEE!

— See, colleague! The Neanderthal female killed the male!


	183. Petty nonsense

Captain Jack Harkness sat on the Bank and fished. He was wearing plaid pants, bright yellow on black his braces knee-length, striped leggings, sandals and a light pink shirt.  
Jack sat on the emerald grass around blue river and fished a silver fish.  
On the other side of the river were bathing, a group of people. There were three boys and four girls. They all swam naked, and since Jack was awake, he occasionally stole glances at the company.  
Virgins were as the selection is slim in the head, long-legged and long-armed, with a tenth of the size of Breasts and buttocks, exceeding the standards of center aunts. Guys sported beer bellies, wrinkled genitals, sunken breast cells and baldness in all parts of the head.  
This whole company with obscene exclamations plopped into the water and in the shallows, not wanting, however, to go further.  
\- "No, with such terrible people I would never have lain in bed". — thought to myself, Jack, and rose up from the shore, went looking for a more secluded place.

***

 

— Sherlock?! You why are you so smeared? — asked John.  
— I fell...  
\- Where?!  
— I fell out of the plane...  
\- Is bad...  
\- But I had a parachute...  
\- Is a good thing.  
— But the parachute did not open...  
— It's bad.  
— But I noticed under a haystack.  
\- Is a good thing.  
\- But haystack was a pitchfork...  
— It's bad.  
— I miss the pitchfork...  
— It's good...  
\- But I didn't get on the haystack...  
\- Is bad...  
— I fell on something soft...  
\- Is a good thing.  
\- But it turned out to be the corpse...  
— It's bad.  
— He was killed recently...  
\- Is a good thing.  
\- And his killer was next...  
— It's bad.  
— I fought them off...  
\- Is a good thing.  
— ... harpoon...  
— It's bad.  
\- But I got rid of the bodies.  
\- Is a good thing.  
\- But the shirt was not able to wash...  
— It's bad.  
— I didn't want to take the taxi drivers...  
\- Is a good thing.  
\- And I took the metro.  
— It's bad. Now get in the tub and wash off, and hide the harpoon.


	184. Suite

It was a dark hot southern night.

On the fortieth floor of a five-star hotel he caressed her.

He ran her slim fingers caressed her lips and tried to awaken her to life.

But she was beautiful, slender, beautiful and cold.

She was lying in a bathtub full of crushed ice.

Her skin was white.

And cold.

But he never gave up hope to breathe into it the warmth of his love.

He caressed her with the greedy haste of a man late for a night flight.

But she didn't answer.

Although...

Although... the spark of life began to revive in her.

Beneath his fingers her body began to warm up. And soon the coveted juice on her sensuality finally flowed into his belly.

He drew back from her, intoxicated by her ardent love, her tart taste, her gentle sweetness, giving the subtlest facets of Jasmine and ginger.

He was full of it.

She gave herself to him.

Yes, he had to pay a lot of money for it, but it was worth the money.

It was worth all it cost.

Sleepless nights... crazy days...

It was amazing hot hot hot passion under the black sky of the tropical night.


	185. Ciao, Bambino, Ciao

\- Good evening! — glass door of the eatery opened inwards, letting in a warm smoke-filled rooms, clubs dank wet of the fog. Together with the mist to the rack slipped out of the man, or rather the shadow in a black leather coat, sparkling with millions of drops of rain settled. But the drops had dried, the door was closed and at the materialized entity.

He's quick glance looked around the room and said to the bartender:  
— Give me a glass of BlackBerry juice with BlackBerry liqueur.  
\- Okay, - said the bartender calmly. This twenty year old young man had a lot to communicate with clients, and he was ready for any vagaries. So he mixed the required and delivered to the client.  
The customer took a SIP, licked his lips and began to savor.

— You expecting someone? — asked the bartender.  
\- No, - replied subject. He seems to be relaxed. Took off his cap, he reveals to the world a thin face with small eyes and pig liquid hair color.  
\- Okay, - the bartender turned his back on him and began to wipe glasses.

Half an hour passed. The bar slowly emptied. There was only a bartender and a subject.

— Will soon be closed, - dropped the bartender, turning towards the customer.  
— Ciao, Bambino, Ciao, — smiled the subject and pointed a gun at the bartender.  
— Hey, what th... — finish guy did not, because the bullet blew his head off.  
— Shitty bar, and the bartender is useless, - sneered the subject, shooting at bottles; after that, he walked out the door. But before you close it, the subject lit the match and threw it in a puddle of alcohol.


	186. Snot killer strikes. Part I

***

 

On London fell in the chilly winter. A cold wind blew, bringing rain, metya blowing in and blowing out the crevices of homes.  
It is not surprising that by the beginning of the new year the whole of London was in varying degrees of cold.

Universal contagion pass and Baker street, namely the house 221 b.

The disease began with Holmes. The great detective was investigating the case at the docks and somewhere in there got the flu, but because in the case he primarily smoked, ate poorly, then at the end of the investigation the disease killed his thoroughly.  
He fought against it my way — drank brandy, smoked tobacco, but the disease won. Kind Mrs. Hudson began to look after him, but the disease killed her. Dr. Watson decided to treat a friend, but he took to his bed.

And every day, it all started with a hoarse cough Holmes, continued weak sneeze Watson and ended with a thundering otsyrevanie Mrs. Hudson.

And then one day in this abode of the sick came Lestrade.

Holmes, eaten standing on her two feet weakness, wrapped in a dressing gown and went down to the guest.  
— What are you doing here? - he asked in a hoarse croaky voice.  
\- Killer, — sneezed Lestrade.  
— And what? — Holmes was up coughing.  
— He kills the unfortunate sick Londoners lying in their cosy beds and trying to get better, - Lestrade blew his nose noisily.  
\- I see, - Holmes sneezed.  
— He's not going anywhere! — threateningly hissed, Watson, into lusty loud cough.  
— I do not insist, — Lestrade coughed and left in the cold.  
— Go to bed, Holmes, - Watson appeared in the doorway and looked at Holmes, — no investigation.  
— Yes I am... and I don't really want, — answered Holmes, made it to my room and collapsed into bed.  
To sleep.

***

 

On London fell in the chilly winter. A cold wind blew, bringing rain, metya blowing in and blowing out the crevices of homes.  
It is not surprising that by the beginning of the new year the whole of London was in varying degrees of cold.

Universal contagion pass and Baker street, namely the house 221 b.

Holmes missed the beginning of the epidemic, but when he ran out of opium, he went after him and picked up an infection in the strongest form. Elementary, my weakened body is susceptible to any infection.  
Holmes took to his bed. A couple of days he tossed about on his bed in the heat with very tall temperature, and then it looked Watson.  
The good doctor cleaned up the apartment of Holmes, found him the meds, and then fell with a temperature... in the house of Holmes.

One day a knock at the door. Then opened and Lestrade walked in.  
— Doctor Watson! — he called, desperately sneezing.  
\- Here, - Watson cleared his throat, — what happened?  
-The killer happened — said Lestrade loudly sneezing , — sick Londoners water. And Mr. Holmes?  
-I am afraid, - Watson, sneeze, - Mr. Holmes won't help in this case. We have the temperature such that we are barely on your feet.  
\- Okay, - Lestrade coughed and left.

And in the apartment of Holmes there was silence again, interrupted only by a cough and a sneeze.


	187. Snotty killer strikes. Part I

On London fell in the chilly winter. A cold wind blew, bringing rain and snow hopefuls blowing and blowing into the cracks of houses.  
Not surprisingly, the beginning of the new year the whole of London was in varying degrees of cold.

Universal infection is not spared and the Baker street, namely the house 221 b.

First caught Watson.

Apparently, the patient's blood hit Watson on naked area of the body, and by the end of the day, Watson was lying with tall temperature.

The second infected was Martha.

The husband wanted her to have as warmers all over the body and infected her.

All the hassle for the sick fell on Holmes. He thoroughly approached the matter, and cared for the sick as long as he has not lost in the fight with disease.

Martha and Watson was throat, calling for Holmes, but he did not respond. Then the couple, armed with a knife and a frying pan, went looking for Holmes. He was discovered in his room, unconscious and with high fever.

Then Watson decided that to die together is more fun, and took the poor man in the marital room.

The next day came Lestrade.  
— Damn it! — he coughed, — we have the killer showed up.  
— We are sick people, - said Watson from under the blanket.  
— And Holmes where?  
— He also.  
\- So, this rascal decided to play hooky with me, — sneezed Lestrade.  
— Give, — coughed Watson, — if you have a place where to treat it?  
\- No, - Lestrade snorted.

***

 

On London fell in the chilly winter. A cold wind blew, bringing rain and snow hopefuls blowing and blowing into the cracks of houses.  
Not surprisingly, the beginning of the new year the whole of London was in varying degrees of cold.

Universal infection is not spared and the Baker street, namely the house 221 b.

The first came down, John. It all day took sick and came home, completely exhausted.

Sherlock was bored.

Martha dumped in Devonshire, saying the infection she will survive outdoors.

— I... take a bath, - said John to Sherlock, - and go to sleep.  
— What... what about dinner? - asked Sherlock.  
— I won't, - said John, and went to the bathroom.  
After the bath John had gone to his room and fell into a heavy sleep.

Somewhere in the morning Sherlock woke up to a terrible cough coming from John's room. Sherl went there. Entering the room, he found the following picture. John strained coughing. It literally threw on the bed. Sherl sat on the bed and put his hand on the forehead to the other. Watson was on fire. Sherlock found a thermometer and found that John had a temperature under forty.

This began the treatment of John followed by infection with Sherlock.

And by the time Greg decided to visit them, they were both sick.

— We've got a killer — Greg coughed, pushing his head into the room to Sherlock.  
— And we have a disease, — sneezed Sherlock.  
\- The killer kills the sick, - blew his nose Greg.  
— I can't help you, — hissed Sherlock.  
— Well, — Greg sneezed and left.

***

 

New York fell chilly winter. A cold wind blew, bringing rain and snow hopefuls blowing and blowing into the cracks of houses.  
Not surprisingly, the beginning of the new year all of new York was in varying degrees of cold.

— I'm sick, Joan. — cried Holmes.  
\- Nothing terrible, - Joan answered, him in a dank day, — go, look for the killer.  
\- But I have a fever!  
— Nothing, nothing! Get out there and don't infect me!


	188. Snotty killer strikes.Part II

Night in Baker street fallen the white mist.

Out of it slipped a dark figure and went to the house 221 b. She opened the door and leaked into the house.

First in line was a housewife.

Unknown all in black, like thick black coffee, and a white mask concealed his face, entered the room, Mrs. Hudson, and raised over it a sharp blade resembling a scimitar.

But this time the old woman sneezed loudly. And the unknown blew to the door.

A stifled sneezing, the unknown took off his sticky snot and Martha went to the room occupants.

Cough Watson stunned him, and the stranger hurried to get out.

Room Holmes.

— Who are you? — hoarsely asked Holmes. He was pale, tall and sick. Holmes was sitting on the bed in a warm Bathrobe and was holding a revolver.  
— I? — hoarsely said the stranger, - Dr. Pillman, and I have the perfect remedy for all diseases.  
— What?  
— DEATH! — Pillman screamed and tried to pounce on Holmes.

But Holmes fired first.

Pillman stopped, and, pressing his hand to his chest, loudly sneezed:  
— I had only three ingredients... — wheezed and died.

So once again the great detective Holmes saved London from an elusive killer.

***

 

Fog crept from the Thames.

In this thick fog was hiding the body of the stranger. He came at midnight to the house on Baker street and tried to kill its inhabitants.

But alas.

Inhabitants simultaneously sneezed and opened his eyes.

— Who are you? — sternly asked Watson.  
— I'm Dr. Pillman! — said the stranger, coughing desperately.  
— What are you doing in the house?  
\- I'm going to kill you, — said the doctor and focus on them the axe, rushed forward.  
But Watson fired first.

— The villains! — pathetically exclaimed Pillman died..

So once again Watson saved London from the killer.

***

 

In the clubs of snow and rain appeared the silhouette of evil men. He went to the house on Baker street, walked into the room, Mrs. and Mr. Watson, opened the suitcase and took out... a syringe. But not one, but three.

Using the fact that all were asleep, the stranger tore down the blanket, turned them all on their bellies and lifted her nightgown, exposing ass.  
He couldn't even stick the first syringe into sinewy ass Holmes suddenly woke up Watson.  
Seeing this, Watson exploded a sneeze, grabbed the knife and slashed at the stranger's hand.

\- A thousand devils and a witch! — coughed a stranger — what are you doing?  
— I have to ask, what'd you, - say Watson — who are you?  
— I'm a doctor — Pillman! — proudly answered the stranger, - and I will kill you now!  
— No time, — said Watson Pilulkin`s and slit his throat.  
— AHR... — croaked Pillman died, and Watson, after throwing syringes and covering all with a blanket, went to sleep.

So wonderful Dr. Watson saved London from the killer.


	189. Snotty killer strikes.Part II.

Outside the Windows walking wind and snow sprinkled. The night was black as sin.  
And so nobody noticed the strange shape slipped into the door of the house 221 b on Baker street.

Sherlock and John slept peacefully, cuddling up snotty noses to each other.  
Sherlock was so afraid to Wake up and find in the next room-warm corpse of John that moved to hurt John. Lived together in the same room. Slept in the same bed, ate the same medications.

And this night was no exception.

Unknown broke into the room. It was quite quiet. Dressed in black. For me, definitely a cockroach.

Came.

Looked.

The first head.

John Watson.

Pulled out a scalpel.

John bent back his head and...

But then Sherlock had to Wake up.

He lifted his head and saw that someone is trying to kill his friend. Without saying a word, despite the terrible weakness, Sherlock rushed to help.

They were rolling on the floor, knocking down chairs and banging on the furniture and woke John.  
He fumbled a hand, somehow eyes and fired.

— You still remember Dr. Pilulkin, - wheezed the stranger, tried to stand, but fell, twitched and died.

But Sherlock somehow did not get up from the floor.  
— Sherl? - John slid off the bed and went to lie on the floor to Sherlock. Have a look at him. Sherlock was right.  
— I... I'm fine, - whispered Sherl, - I just weakened.  
— Went to bed, - hoarsely said John and helped the other to rise.

So through the efforts of the detective, all of London was spared from the killer.

***

 

\- I'll kill you! — promised the nigga in the black hoodie, — I will kill you, - said and coughed.  
— Kill, - agreed Holmes, sneezing, — I was still kicked out of the house.  
— You! Get away from Holmes! — was heard behind.  
— Who is it? - the black man turned around.  
Three steps were wet from the rain, Joan and aimed the Negro in the forehead.  
— Joan! You came to rescue me! — deafening sneeze Holmes.  
— Do you have fines for lousy interpretation of Holmes is not paid, — said Joan and arrested the Negro.

It turned out that this is not a killer, but that's another story.


	190. Sociopath

Sociopath!

Sociopath!

— ATTENTION ON THE STREETS OF OUR CITY APPEARED SOCIOPATH!

***

 

— Holmes?  
— Yes, my dear doctor?  
— What is it with you?  
— Absolutely nothing...  
— Are you sure?  
\- Of course, - the great detective stretched out his legs and lit a pipe.

Something boomed, boomed and ... before the astonished doctor flashed a shadow in a striped suit.  
Dr. long remembered what color were the stripes and whether they were horizontal or vertical.

In half an hour.  
— Watson, and you know that the London run man in striped linen and saves everyone, regardless of whether the object in the help or not?  
— What do you say, inspector? - I was amazed the doctor, - and let's get into trouble.  
— What do you suggest?  
\- Let's go and get baked.

Half an hour later.  
— I — Sociopath! And I'll save you from what you are doing! — Watson and Lestrade didn't have time to get roaring drunk, how did a young man in a black suit with white vertical stripes and a strong hand caught two mugs with ale.  
— Holmes?! Is that you? - cried Lestrade.  
— I — Sociopath! - the man shook them out of the tavern, took the collar and led him home.

At one of the crossroads they ran to meet a drunken sailor and had Sociopath on the head with a baton.

Half an hour later.  
— Watson? Good my friend, what is wrong with me?  
— I had to ask?  
\- No me opium inserted, — muttered sheepishly Holmes, — you know, Watson, I imagined myself a hero without fear and without reproach.  
— Relax, Holmes, — said carefully, Watson and I went down to finish the dose.


	191. Two heads, one brain and ...

— Holmes?  
— Yes?  
— You know, Holmes, I'm tired for you to run around and tempt you with different things... I have decided that you are no longer my friend.  
— But, Watson! — strongly objected to Holmes, — how can I do without you? Who would think?  
\- So, you admit that you have no brains? — fairly laughed Watson.  
\- Yes, I confess, I swear and admit their own stupidity. Now don't you leave?  
— Now I certainly will go away, - Watson went to the door, - what the hell do I need a parter who has no brains.  
—What if I told you that I have brains, but they're... small?  
— Go.  
— Watson, please don't go, - Holmes collapsed to his knees and wept.  
— Me crocodile tears to soften. - Watson said and walked out the door.

And then a shot rang out.

Watson ran back in.

— Holmes?!  
\- I don't really have brains, - sadly said Holmes, looking at your broken skull in the mirror, - look, Watson, from the wound, nothing flows...  
— Fool you, Holmes, — said Watson, beginning to bandage the poor fellow.  
\- Thank you, - murmured Holmes.  
— It is necessary.... after such wounds usually the corpse remains, and you still move...  
— It is because, Watson, that me does not exist in nature as well, and you too.


	192. Operation for three pounds

— What happened? - Holmes lost his glasses and saw the world through a fog of vague images.  
\- Cautiously, Holmes — sounded in his ear, caring voice, Watson, - you are contraindicated to move.  
— What are you so thoughtful? — scared Holmes.  
— You... a little crippled when trying to catch Moriarty — apologetically explained Watson, applying to the face of Holmes mask with ether, — I'm going to treat it.

Through the day.

— Watson? - Holmes tried to bend the arm. Not without difficulty he succeeded, but instead of hands he saw his feet, and looking at my arms and legs.  
— WATSON?!  
— What happened? — Watson came back into the room.  
— DAMN IT, WATSON?! WHY YOU MIXED UP THE LEGS?!  
— I'll fix that.

Through the day.

This time the legs and arms were in place, but that's the thing — the left hand was small and frail, the right belonged to the Negro. The left leg is fleshy, thick and undoubtedly female, right skinny and wiry.  
— Watson? — a crying voice called out Holmes.  
\- No problem. Now...

Three days later.

Legs and arms were in place. They were male, well proportioned. Holmes stood on his new legs and went to the mirror. And then it turned out that instead of groin to his ass, and instead of the chest back, but the hands and feet, along with the head was sewn correctly.  
— WATSON?!  
— No problem, — was the answer.

In about a month.

Holmes stood up and walked over to the mirror. He was in his underwear. Everything was perfect. Arms, legs, head, torso. Ears, eyes, nose, mouth, teeth. Everything was clean, no scars and stitches. Holmes sighed happily and headed to the bathroom to wash and pee.  
— WATSON?! - a terrible cry swept through the apartment.  
— What happened? - Watson looked to the bathroom.  
— What is it? — doomed asked Holmes, pointing to the place where the idea was to hang around in hell.  
— Sorry, Holmes, — Watson's chagrin knew no bounds, — you know, I couldn't find a man's corpse, I had to take what was fresh.  
— What? - coldly asked Holmes, - as I live with this?  
— Live long, - sighed Watson, - then I'll think of something. But I can say that's not so bad...  
\- Why not?  
\- In any case, you can't get pregnant, no Prerequisites...  
— Thank you, Watson, — sarcastically said Holmes, — that it is impossible to find better.  
— What do you want for three quid?


	193. Strictly on Baker street

— Sherlock, where are you going? — strictly asked John his friend.  
The situation was complicated by the fact that they just changed Greg. Four days they sat in boring and hours-long wait. Sherlock was though henna, but John longed for activity, and when Sherlock instead of a direct step to go home, suddenly walked somewhere.  
\- John, I know you're hungry and want to sleep, - a little sheepishly said Sherlock, - but I'm not dragging.  
— Yeah, right now, - John caught up with him, - without me, you will not move.  
\- Okay, - meekly agreed Sherlock.

They passed a couple of streets, and Sherlock ducked into the dark building, John followed him and then lost.  
— Sherlock! - he called his only detective, - where are you?  
Silence was his answer.  
Then John turned on the flashlight on her phone and moved forward.

The door.  
Outside the door moan.

John opened the door and was rooted to the floor. And it was what.  
In the room a naked Sherlock was making out with a naked Moriarty..  
— Sherlock? — not believing his eyes, whispered John, - what is that?  
But voluptuous wand didn't hear him.

John slammed the door shut and wiped a cold sweat.

Next door.  
A naked John in the latex is whipped with a belt on the pale buttocks of Sherlock.

John slammed that door, and leaned against the opposite wall. He paused, went on.

Third door.

John raped some men as Sherlock sat there and blankly looked at it.

John shied away.

The fourth door.

Moriarty was fucking Moran.

John closed the door and found himself in a dark hallway. But then he hugged in the ear said:  
\- John, where do you wander, then you can get lost!  
— Sherlock, — cracked voice said to John, — what is this?  
\- It is the house of fiction, - replied Sherlock.  
— And why...  
— All normal fanfiction about us on the third floor of the basement, — he told Sherlock, - let's go. The course is strictly on Baker street.  
— You're a pervert, - gasped John.


	194. Failure

Mick decided to die. Decided finally and irrevocably.

He was torn between Snezhana`s and the other... two.

Too he loved them and throw away from the heart could not.

But Mick wanted to weigh in.

He was not warned about his decision.

He said this is not a boss, not the waiters, not the partner.

No one knew about it.

And those two that were dear to his heart, knew nothing.

But Mick wanted to die completely. So he decided the best thing for him is a bullet in the head, but it is unlikely criminals would be so kind as to comply with the request of the police. That means death need to beat so that no one could undermine.

 

***

 

Ben woke up from his own scream, awakening and wife, and son.  
— What happened, dear? — asked Sophie.  
— I had a nightmare, — said Ben, — I don't remember him, but in his heart left a strange aftertaste.  
— Go to sleep already, - drowsily said Sophie.  
— Sleep, — answered Ben.

But in the morning Ben, feeling a strange anxiety, decided to call his friend. But the phone Mick`s was silent. Ben thought about it and decided to move to Los Angeles.  
Came straight to work to Mick`s.  
Came, and there was... a heavy and oppressive atmosphere.  
\- Sorry, - Ben felt not at ease, - can I see detective Melloun actually has?  
All stopped working and looked at him, then one of the guys sitting in the room, the pure Nordic type, said  
— Come on, I'll take you to our Lieutenant.

Benedict held the office of Lieutenant.  
— Where's detective Melloun actually has? — a small voice asked Ben. He felt that something had happened, but what he could not understand.  
— Who are you? - the Lieutenant stared at him.  
— I — Benedict Cumberbatch, — answered Ben.  
— It is clear. I remember you. Mick you got a bodyguard was.  
\- Yes.  
— You know, Mick can't see...  
\- Why?  
— Mick... — the Lieutenant looked away, sighed and finished the sentence, staring at the wall, — ... died.  
\- No, - stammered Ben, smashed heard the news, - it's not true, right? Tell me that he just does a complex matter?  
— You can consider so if to you so it will be easier, - replied the Lieutenant, — the body of Mick`s we have... in the morgue. If you want you can...  
— I'll go — Ben was stunned and crushed.

He fell from the building and stood around in the Parking lot. Weakened legs did not want to go, but the head could not think. But then to the police station flew sports black-and-white-and-gray car. He stopped, got out a girl in a white blouse, black slacks and a gray hat. She approached the stunned Ben, took him by the hand, shoved it in the car...  
— Sit down and shut up, - threw the girl, - I will tell you everything.  
— Who are you? - Ben blinked, then he remembered — did you... Joe...  
\- Right, - replied Georgina, stopping next to multi-storey house.  
— What happened?  
— The trouble occurred, - Joe summed up the Ben to the door of his apartment, opened it and let him inside.  
— Mick...  
— Mick right, - muttered Joe, hiding in the kitchen — what do you need? Coffee? Tea?  
— I would not have refused the spirits, - Ben collapsed on the couch.  
\- Okay, - Joe brought Ben a glass of brandy. She took the alcohol.  
— What of Mick?  
— I am afraid that is not good; - Joe sat on the couch — you know, he wanted death, he was looking for death... and when he was lucky, he... Damn it! - Joe slammed his fist on the couch, - he saved Max, throwing him from the burning car, and he left. Mick might pop up and even the fact that his chest was a bullet, it wouldn't stop him. But Mick chose to stay...  
— He's alive? - Ben drank my brandy in one gulp.  
\- It is hard to say. I would call it an emotional coma. He sleeps and dreams. Mick slightly burned, add to this the bullet... Mick lost a lot of blood...  
\- But... - Ben was trying to gather thoughts, — I'm told he's in the morgue?  
— Where would he be? — reasonably objected Joe, - if he even conscious? All indicators at zero or at a low level. But I don't know, - Jo sighed, - the first time I didn't know what to do...  
— Give me Mick, — Ben exhaled, feeling the approach of sleep, - please...  
— I see that in this case you can do, — suddenly calmed down Joe, - but you can get some sleep... in the Morning all will become clear.


	195. The Role Of Russia

That's the type of Russia save the day? Guys, this is nonsense.  
Russia in the ass, and very nice.  
Prices are rising and wages falling?  
Rejoice, we fancy guys!  
Now we pay in three main areas — feeding the Ukrainians, the war in Syria and the debt for the Olympics. And on his nose the World Cup.  
Ye gods..  
And one wonders why the hell we need all this?  
I'm telling you, a plane from Sharm El -Sheikh fell not just because there are some asshole from ISIS bomb had passed. It exploded because we were involved in the war in Syria.  
Prior to that, since we flew... and nothing.  
Revenge. Terrible. monstrous.  
And our government is shit. He has always been shit. Thoroughly.  
Ukrainians as a nation did not exist. Kievan Rus? Remember the story...  
At the edge of Russia.  
Then The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.  
Crimean Khanate.

Let's share it. Kiev - Russia, the Crimea - Greece, America — Indians, Alaska — Eskimos. Australia — aboriginal people, and our government, as indeed, all other governments on Mars, with one shovel and one suit at all.  
And ISIS — Jupiter.

But if Leonardo de Caprio (hate the bastard) will play Putin, his competition will be for Nikita Mikhalkov (I hate the mustachioed bastard) wanted to play Putin.

And all my wages are delayed, bastards.  
And I have depression...


	196. Mouse

Thoughts run like mice.  
Run.  
Don't want to think.  
And not want to write.  
My Muse, where do you roam?  
Anyone write anything?  
Sacha, light of my soul, you're so supportive of me.  
The lower you bow.  
Gently kiss your caring fingers.  
Mine angels, where are you?  
Arrive, wings would .  
Boring to fly, it's boring to write, want of affection and kindness.  
Sadness


	197. Symphony

He awkwardly, but gently tore off her clothes.

She was beautiful.

Her body was white and smooth... excited him.

But to touch this coveted body hands? No... it would be a sacrilege. Enough that he removed her clothes.

And then he clung to her lips.

He caressed her lips and tongue, feeling the heat and feasting upon her flesh.

She was hot. Inside her Mature burning hot passion, but at the same time she was submissive and malleable.

Alas... he was not able to make this night magical and unforgettable.

The action didn't happen on a bearskin rug around the burning fireplace in a Swiss Chalet...

It took place in an open shack, on a pine table...

Yes, some of them had a bottle, but not the French wine harvest 18** year.

Savoury — bacon, sardines in tomato sauce and molasses bread.

But she was not mad.

And he is also.

The fever of love had cooled, but he was still pressed his lips to every inch of her body.

And the Symphony of their love ended in a single scream...

Ah!


	198. Heartfelt thanks

Part one

 

The night was dark.  
Watson was sitting in his room engaged in a strange business.  
So no one saw or heard, Watson closed the door, put curtains on the Windows and climbed under the blanket.

***

 

In the morning, Watson went to work.  
The great detective woke up late and the first thing he saw was a box of chocolates in the shape of a heart.  
Holmes got up, took a magnifying glass and began to study.  
He found no fingerprints of suspicious evidence.  
He found nothing.  
So he opened the box, took out the candy and stuck it in my mouth.

***

 

— What about Holmes? - asked Watson Mrs Hudson's night.  
\- I have no idea, - replied the old woman, — he jumps around the apartment and screaming that, say, a green armored cockroaches kidnapped Queen and demand as ransom pink panties Moriarty.  
— Poor Holmes, - Watson shook his head.

Part two

 

It was a dark chilly night.  
Watson was doing something in his office.  
What he was doing remained a mystery.

***

 

Holmes woke up late and saw a red box, tied with a scarlet ribbon.  
Holmes opened it and took the candy.

***

 

— What is it with Holmes? — asked the inspector.  
— Have no idea,— shrugged Watson, making an innocent face, - what happened?  
— He runs around London and shouting that the Doctor in the blue box stole panties polka dot Richard III. And only he can save London bridge.  
— Poor man.

Part three

 

Was chilly morning.  
Watson worked in the kitchen.  
What he's doing, no one has seen.

***

 

Holmes left the room very late.  
But around the room he saw a box in the shape of a heart.  
Holmes gingerly took it, and carried it into the room.  
Anything suspicious on the box and in the box was not.  
Holmes took the candy and put it in his mouth.

***

 

— Damn it! — broke into the house Lestrade, - Watson, you know that this rascal Holmes doing?  
— No. What?  
— He's in big Ben and yells that he sees that Moriarty swims the Thames Hawaiian style, dressed only in suspenders and codpiece...  
— Poor detective, - Watson sighed and plunged the scalpel into the next patient.


	199. Humor in panties

— Sherlock?  
— Yes?  
— You know, Moriarty is back!  
— What?  
— Like what? it is now we can not handle.  
— Why is this?  
\- Because he is now together with your brother work in MI6.  
— It just can't be!


	200. Archer, Adler and Moriarty.

Archer  
going for another job

 

About give, give me the opportunity!  
With Irene Adler I'll be able to sleep!  
I the world from MS deliver!  
The weapon will serve me bed!

 

Three weeks later.  
After a long courtship Archer and Irene find themselves in the same bed. Archer tied to the bed, and Irene — Mrs. harness.

 

Irene  
approaching the bed and waving his whip

 

The heart of the beautiful  
Prone to treason,  
Like the wind in may.  
I long to beat you with a whip,  
And in five hours it will stop.  
So you then only whisper I could:  
— Irene! Love you!  
coming to the Adler, and begins to whip.

For this event, watching Moriarty, sitting in the adjacent building and staring into the monitors.

 

Moriarty  
thoughtfully

 

How much time I spent,  
So cruel my fate!  
That guy that beats Irene?  
Can it be captured?  
Blue-eyed brunette...  
No and no again.  
Let's see...  
opens the file  
Sterling Archer is a horribly dangerous spy,  
Asshole, an alcoholic and a womanizer  
And just a Mama's boy.  
And that I shed?  
Out with a fervor he as given.  
Hopeless.  
calling Irene

 

Irene  
departs from the beaten Archer

 

Oh, dear Jim!  
Why are you calling?

 

Moriarty

 

What have you learned?

 

Irene

 

Bit.  
He is afraid of crocodiles  
Spiders and brain aneurysm.  
What if he is  
In the dungeons of the KGB or anybody else.  
There is simply rape.

Moriarty  
rubbing his hands

 

We'll have then  
A nightmare to him.  
Knock him out.  
I'll do it myself.

 

Archer wakes up in terrible wet and cold dungeon. He was naked, beaten, and he was cold.

 

Archer  
tragically

 

In a cell I'm sitting.  
Beaten and hungry.  
Give me a chance to escape.  
Will show that I am.  
stumbles back into something, turns  
Oh! Oh, my God! This is so fucking stupid!  
Because it is healthy, damn it, spider!  
I need to run away first  
To me it is not dragged!  
backs away and bumps into something else  
AHHH! Fuck me in the ass!  
Crocodile!  
I hide... but where?  
However...

 

There are healthy guys, grab it and drag in a brighter room. There they are thrown into a terrible style design chair.

 

Archer  
in horror

 

Let me know?  
Where am I?  
Lubyanka?

 

Moriarty  
enters and smiles

 

Are you afraid that you  
Rape all?  
But it all is love.  
Happy Valentine's Day!  
Slash will arrange with vaseline!  
Start gentlemen!  
Here you bodily food!  
goes and closes the door.

 

Behind the door, screams, cries, moans, Mat.

About six hours later.

 

Archer  
dressed, somehow hobbles down the street

 

I'm beaten,  
Everywhere I hurt.  
And I don't breathe freely.  
A nightmare I was being chased  
Life.  
Now it has come true.  
Don't need me now myself.  
Oh! mother, mother, the fuck, where?  
And Lana! My dear!  
But lost I...  
loses consciousness

 

A week later

 

Archer  
lying on the bed

 

About a nightmare!  
Brave the horror!  
It turns out I need!  
Mother and Lana.  
Me here like!  
And those I forget.  
falls asleep.


	201. The good doctor

— I am your master! Worship me! - said the wrinkled old man the second morwenna the old man.  
\- Hell! - proudly mumbled the second one - I'm the Doctor As!  
— Well, you're ass, it's your pants see, — vile chuckled first.  
\- Hey! The first chamber! — barked orderly, - mouths closed and sleep!

***

 

— I'm Moriarty! — said the little bald guy in the blue glasses, - and I'm going to overthrow the Queen!  
\- And I Holmes, - thin man of uncertain age, who had on his head a pair of black curls, playfully wearing a chamber pot on his head, - Moriarty, I love Natasha Queen and will not allow to overthrow it.  
— The third ward! Stop being so violent!

***

 

— I'm far Dalek and I will destroy all! — came out into the hallway type, wearing a couple of iron buckets and wrapped in foil.  
— I'll fly away, - happily shouted a little naked guy in the ass which was stuck a broom, — I'm Harry Potter! The boy - who - all -got it!  
— Sixth chamber! If you don't shut up, I Volan de mort call!


	202. Chronicle

Goy Yasi, good people, good people, but merciful. Let chronicle of past times that have passed, Yes non-existent.

Had lived in the state anglitskom two wise men. One engaged in business of detective and the other with enema tubes were busy. And were they both share the sin of Sodom, but they never said or showed. And there they enemy monogamy and annoying. He appeared strong feelings to my husband that all garbage was looking overwrought.

And decided the enemy brainy to go to war with the doctor. And he took it in the summer and cold in an abandoned house hid. He tied him with ropes of hemp to the oak chair. And told here husband, he said it was the doctor:  
— Goy Yasi, you, Dr. John Watson son! I'll kill you. I will bring you in sacrifice to the God Odin. Will tie your intestines to a tree, blind you in one eye, and hear you suffering full.  
Replied John furiously:  
— Goy Yasi, you disgusting maniac! Come unto thee the son of Sherlock Holmes! But as you stick with a spear on the tonsils.  
Angry husband then go around and hit John on the bonce. Lost is a John consciousness and sagged in the shackles of hemp.

And then came Sherlock son Holmes, and zavyazalsya then fight strong. And fought both the wise man three nights and two days. And plunged to the ground raw maniac cracked detective this curly. Knocked down, shirt ripped, and chest white rose knee. Got a knee on his chest hard muscled, Yes, Yes, pulled out a dagger Turkish, but worth it, and tried on how to smack him in the chest of the defeated enemy.  
Goy Yasi you people are nice! Yeah not to scare you and this situation! In fact about John is not forgotten by the chronicler.

Saw John that Sherlock is going to kill, so he rebelled with chair oak, but how will the maniac massive chair. Flew here maniac cracked directly into the wall awfully flimsy... Then Sherlock rose from the floor dirty, he untied the poor John.  
But the maniac then pulled myself together, Yes he attacked the detective's curly, but here John is in a fight got involved. And hit it maniac violently, and went in the blade between the ribs immediately. And fell here, John, oblivate blood. And then cried the detective, English, pulled out a dagger from the awful wound, and stabbed it in the chest a maniac, much so that the guts fell out.

And dropped the pale detective about his friend dying. And took him in his arms and he cried bitter tears. And where hot drops fell, there the wound was delayed. And then the wound healed up, and embraced men of a great and heartily potselovala.

Here and chronicle my end.


	203. Deadly game

— Holmes!  
— What happened, Watson?  
— You forgot that I have a holiday soon?  
— What?  
— 23 Feb!  
— I?  
— ... and you no fought... And we are his fellow soldiers will thump all day long.  
\- Okay, - Holmes stretched out his legs on the couch and lit up, signaling that the conversation is over.

***

 

Holmes stood silently around the outstretched corpse. Well, the corpse did not belong to Watson.  
— What do you say, Holmes? - asked Lestrade.  
— A man died from a blunt blow to the head. The nature of injury, conclude that the object is rectangular. Similar to a paperweight, - Holmes thought for a moment, - but this book was.  
— What? — asked Lestrade.  
— Complete the writing Darya Dontsova hardcover...  
— God! But who did it?  
— We're looking for.

***

 

— Where are you going, Watson? — asked Holmes.  
— I drank, - sobbed Watson, scribe weekly stubble.  
— Where?  
\- I do not remember...  
— Have you seen man with a drooping mustache...  
\- Yes, this is one of those with whom I was drinking, but then he left... And what?  
\- He has been murdered.  
— Hmm.

***

 

— I killed him — admitted Watson three days later, Holmes.  
\- Why?  
\- He said that Dontsov abruptly Conan Doyle...  
— Good reason.


	204. The existence of

I live no beta  
That is, I only have three bets for that lot.  
One beauty on "weird thoughts" and two on " the sorrows of young Benedict...".  
And the rest... the rest I have enabled public beta, and the fix as you read...

I probably no beta.  
Can not find one. All sail past me with cries of joy.  
Super regatta BETA.

Oh! I have 48 readers!  
Progress is felt.  
But I am grateful to all.  
So in my writings you found something that you had to taste.

Three recommended. HURRAY!!!

Spring is coming, new thoughts will sprout, old ideas zakolositsya and let us come to HOLY POWER of RUSSIAN LITERATURE, St. CLAVE, and stuff, stuff, stuff...


	205. Peds

THE COUNTRY IS IN SHOCK!

PUGACHEV FOUND IN BED WITH MAXIM... BED BUGS!

 

THE COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING!

MAXIM FOUND IN BED WITH ALLA... COCKROACH!

 

THE COUNTRY IN TERROR!

THAT'S WHO WAS MISTRESS KIRKOROV?

 

THIS IS... BARACK OBAMA!!!


	206. Individuals on Baker Street

Sherlock Holmes came down to Breakfast and picked up the "daily Telegraph". Watson could not, hear Mrs Hudson too.  
Lazily running through the speakers look great detective suddenly came upon a very curious message. It was typed in small print on the last page at the bottom and read as follows:  
— "Alone. Stern English lady in the Prime of life looking for a good time passionate rich man in the juice. Safety will remain incognito. Neat. In the program — Ms., spanking, role-playing games. Under the coldness and inaccessibility hides a volcano of passion. The elements of sadism, necrophilia. Lace stockings, black corset. Without intermediaries. The price of the agreement. I'm waiting for you, my passionate stranger".  
At the bottom of the ad stood a well — known address- Baker street 221 b.

\- So, - started to talk Holmes, — in our house only one woman. This is Mrs. Hudson. So she placed the ad. Now I need to ask her why she did it?  
Holmes took the paper and went half Mrs Hudson.  
\- What does that mean? - Holmes threw the paper on the table in front of Mrs. Hudson.  
\- It's very simple, - replied Mrs. Hudson, raising his eyes — it's not enough that you pay me and I'm tired I'm like a dumb animal. So I will do what I wanted. Going to invite wealthy men to spend a lot of money on a favorite, and you can roll on all four sides.

2

 

Watson entered the room, and waiting patients, launched the "Daily Telegraph". He looked through the newspaper and saw a small ad on the last page.  
— "The individual. Neat. Without intermediaries. The price of the agreement. A man in the Prime of life seeking a passionate and rich mistress\ master. The program whipping, Golden rain, drugs, role-playing, lace stockings, corset. I'm waiting for you my (I) Mr (MS)! Humbly kiss your heels!"  
Stood at the bottom of the address — Baker street 221 b.

Watson immediately got dressed and hurried to Baker street.  
— What is it? - indignantly he said, when Holmes answered the door, and threw the paper in the face of the man, - how to understand it?  
— I have no money, — Holmes answered, — I'm in debt as in silks. So I found a way to pay off all at the same time.  
— Worked?  
— Yes, — proudly answered Holmes, — in one night I earned almost a thousand pounds.  
— A good thing — hemmed Watson and majestically withdrew.

3

 

Holmes sat in the chamber in which he was shoved Lestrade, and nothing better to do read the paper. A cursory glance ran thumbed issue of "Daily Telegraph", Holmes suddenly saw a thick pencil, ad. It read:  
— "Clean young couple looking for a passionate young person, or a liberated girl may voluptuous animals of both sexes, curious couples for sharing an intimate time. In the program — erotic session, two mistress, two slaves (for couples), one mistress two slave two mistress — one slave. Role-playing games. Lace stockings with garters. Red and black corsets. Spanking. bondage, scarification. Optional — have a friend arrange an Orgy. Work without intermediaries. The price agreed".  
Below was the address — Baker street 221 b.

With Holmes dropped points. He raised them, wiped again and read the note. But then came Lestrade and released it  
Holmes hurried to Baker street.  
— WHAT IS IT?! - he shouted from the doorway and poked Watson in the nose with a newspaper ad.  
— Like what? Ad, — Watson walked around Holmes, — what are you so worried about?  
\- You — choking Holmes, — my address is a shelter for the Nativity!  
— No, — replied Watson, - I was attracted to your worthless house more customers. And they're only to then brag about — like, say, I slept with Holmes!  
— I will not do, - said Holmes.  
\- Later, Holmes, later! - grinned Watson.


	207. Individuals on Baker Street.

4

 

Sherlock woke up in a completely quiet house.

He dressed and went out to the kitchen.

Have a look around.

Saw John again forgot my laptop on the chair and on the floor near the door lay a newspaper.

Sherlock picked up the newspaper and started to read.

A small note caught his attention.  
— "Passionate, young, neat, anonymity will keep looking for a rich man for intimate meetings on its territory. For you, my beautiful stranger, Striptease, gentle and submissive Guria from sweet dreams of the East. Erotic and relaxing massage. Optionally Orgy with each other. Golden rain, shibari, mistress. Black\red latex leather lingerie. Sexy lingerie. Spanking and various other fun. The price of the agreement. I'm waiting for you, my passionate lion!"  
At the bottom was listed a mobile phone number.

\- That's rich, - said Sherlock, put down the paper, took the laptop to John. A few minutes was enough for hacking, and now Sherlock wanders through the website. On the site of John was nothing interesting except for one little ad:  
"The individualist. Neat. Work without intermediaries. A very dear friend. Invite passionate young lady with friends, as well as young people with friends. Confidentiality is guaranteed. The program erotic massage, Sibari, strip-tease, desire — erotic lingerie, lace stockings, corset. In a gentle and cozy atmosphere you will spend the best hours of your life.I am waiting for you".  
There was also specified a mobile phone number.  
\- How lucky am I to perverts, — Sherlock smiled and decided to call both numbers to find out who he is dealing with.

Sherlock sits, dials.

Here comes Martha, and begins to grumble.

And she's ringing cell phone

— Martha? - Sherlock raised his eyebrows, - for Pete's sake! So you place an ad in the paper?  
— What? — replied on Martha, — I'm still good, and in bed the odds Irene ladies... so don't take the line, Sherlock.

Sherlock rang the second number.  
What was his surprise, when he said... John.  
— John?!  
— Look, Sherlock, what do you want?  
— I called on the phone under the announcement  
\- Okay, - John stammered, - and what confuses you?  
— I'm not going to participate in it.  
— Will. The whole world slasher waiting for this, so go and lace lingerie with stockings buy, but still don't forget to shave everywhere to make a waxing on my legs, to wash... and If you sell, sell high.

5

 

— What is this crap? - Joan threw in Holmes newspaper.  
— What are you so angry? - surprised Holmes, - is a good ad...

And he began to quote: "the Harsh British man and gentle spirited Chinese woman will brighten up your leisure the exotic erotic program. Massage, Chinese softcore, Striptease, spanking, bondage, all sorts of perversion. You will really enjoy it. Cleanliness and privacy guarantee".

— I do not want to, - retorted Joan.  
— And you don't have to, I, - Holmes, — you massage will make, and the rest is me.


	208. The eighth of March

— Holmes? And where's everybody going? — asked Watson.  
— And you do not know, my dear Watson! Today is a Great Plundering of the banks! First responders discounts! That's all, and rushed!  
— What are you saying, Holmes?!

***

 

— My Dear Moriarty! I congratulate you on International women's day!  
— I'm the man, Holmes!  
— What about the men don't know and bitch you're still the same!

***

 

— Holmes, where the gifts for the Martha?  
— She's your wife, how would...  
— The wife not the wife, and gifts to be presented, and the slaughter!

***

 

Sherlock finds in his bed John with Mary, Martha, Irene, Molly and Sally.  
Sherlock in shock:  
— John? What does it mean?  
— Today is international Women's day, — replied John, — so I'm celebrating!

***

 

Joan Watson wakes up in the morning on March 8, he goes down and sees a poster on the wall. And a poster that reads "I'm out! March 8, Joan!"


	209. The Princess,however,

Cinderella ran so fast with the ball, lost a slipper, dress, pants, the hairpiece, false teeth, slip Breasts, prosthesis, and glass eyes...  
Here then was the Prince of darkness.  
But... if so much raised, why such a wife?

***

 

Snow white was walking through the forest, a shopping bag.  
The bag rattled the bottle.  
From the Palace of her sack, so she staged an Orgy, and she was looking for a place where to drink

***

 

Moriarty stood outside and wept, clutching Sherlock into the cuffs of his shirt.  
He was not embarrassed that it is the azure dress with a wide skirt and no shoes.  
— My dear, what a pity you're not a Prince? — cried Moriarty — what a pity?!  
\- True, but I'm a fairy, - replied Sherlock, pulling from his pocket a sandals — and-fortieth the size of here, - and go home.

***

 

— I kissed the frog, — said Martha — and the frog turns into a Prince.  
— I was shooting at random, - said John, - and got into a frog, but after the kiss she turned to Moriarty. Can I cancel the contract?

***

 

— Today's menu — frog legs! — said John.  
— Oh, my God, John! — said in horror, Sherlock — are you a toad or what slammed?

***

 

— Drink from the bottle, Alice...  
\- And what will happen?  
\- Will be back in Martha and goes to wash the floor.


	210. There is no money...

— Holmes?  
— You, Watson?  
— We ran out of money...  
— What?  
— Like what? — angry Watson, - quickly got up and went to work!!!

***

 

Watson gently led his partner... along the muddy ditches.   
Holmes was drunk.  
He was always drunk, especially after he got a job.  
And work he was the watchman at the brewery.

***

 

Holmes sat and scribbled on a typewriter. Watson felt sorry for him and did not attract the poor of the Holmes group orgies, but he told him to count the money.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— Yes?  
— Where are you going?  
— Work...  
— Who and where?  
— Do not you know? - Sherlock flirtatious threw the scarf on the shoulder, winked eye made up and gracefully sailed out of the apartment.  
— Goosey here, - muttered John, and went to sleep.

***

 

— Gather, Holmes, - idly she said, — get dressed.  
— Why is that? - angrily said Holmes.  
— I you sold into slavery... For half a billion yuan...


	211. Lines stupid

— Big Tits! Give me strength! - cried Sailor Moon and felt that her Breasts became so large that the form literally began to burst, flew to save the world.

***

 

— A laptop — you are my strength! — shouted John and slapped them on the head of Sherlock.

***

 

— Grass! Give me strength! — yelled Martha and in the high jump Jim threw the egg.

***

 

— The mind Palace! Give me strength! — yelled and Sherlock gave John in the solar plexus.

***

 

\- The orange pants! Give me strength! — squeaked Moffat, and began to shout obscene songs about the Tenth Doctor.

***

 

— A hot kiss! Give me strength! - three million slasher began to write hot work.

***

 

— Hot tea! Give me strength! — a patient has coughed, dropping to the sacred circle.

***

 

Oh, Holy cigarettes! Give me strength! - said another poor chap, and eagerly lit up.

***

 

— The power of knowledge! The power of thought! — with these words, Holmes went off the side of Moriarty.

***

 

— Holy Moly! Give me strength! - whispered Martha, peeping at a bathing Sherlock.

***

 

Holy cockroaches! - wheezed John, licking his dry lips, — give me the strength to finish this work!

***

 

— Power whip! Give me a chance to whip that man! — languidly stretched Irene, choosing a new whip


	212. Raving

\- Holmes... what are you working on? - asked Watson, looking at the great detective.  
— A case of broken needle, — said Holmes, out of the clubs gray smoke.  
\- And what's the trick here?  
\- It's very simple, - Holmes added smoke, — someone broke the needle that was in the egg which a duck laid that sat in a hare, hare in the chest, the chest was hanging on an oak...  
— And what of it? - was surprised Watson.  
— So, who the needle broke — he killed a man, — said Holmes, — but who did it, I'm trying to install...

***

 

— Holmes? What are you doing? - Watson entered the room and saw Holmes on the ears got in the paper.  
— Looking for a killer. — sinister whispered Holmes and resounding sneeze.  
\- Killer who? - was surprised Watson.  
— Humpty Dumpty, — gravely Holmes said, — because someone has the wall knocked?!

***

 

— Holmes?  
\- What?  
— What are you doing there?  
— Trying to understand one thing...  
— What?  
— A John robbed one house, then the second courtyard, then a third yard, and then was killed by his accomplices... I was asked to find accomplices.  
— It is clear. Well work, Holmes, work.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— Yes?  
— What are you doing?  
— Like what? — surprised Sherlock sitting on the couch and staring closely at the laptop, — there the unlawful use of genetic material.  
— In terms of?  
— In the sense that some "Grandfather" and "Baba" stealing from the lab the genetic material created in the kitchen weird freak, who still managed to escape...  
— So you catch it.  
— This is me doing that.

***

 

— Holmes?  
\- Yes, Joan?  
— What is it? - asked Joan, pointing to the bloody head of a strange monster.  
— A Johnny destroyed the whole population of the Chudo - Yudo. Here I am trying to find the killer.  
\- Oh, Holmes, you finally made up your mind, - smiled Joan.


	213. Little stories

— Sherlock, what's happening? There... this hunched, gray-haired?  
— So it's Harry Potter... With a stick...

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— What about you?  
— What is the window like that beating? Yellow, maintenka?  
— BulkoShmel flies... because Spring has begun...

***

 

— Sherlock? And who is in your tub floats and strange sounds?  
— Duck superintendent tub measures.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
— What, again?  
— Out there a strange blue box is...  
— What?  
\- There are some strange creatures come out...  
\- Is An Evil Toothy Pineapple ...  
— And what are they doing?  
\- I have no idea.

***

 

— Sherlock?  
\- John, you got me, - for evermore Sherlock, - can't you see I miss you!  
— I see.  
— What?  
— Trying to stir up...  
— Look, John, - Sherlock got up from the sofa, brought John a mug of tea, a laptop, gave him everything, — sit, drink tea and read slash fanfiction about us.

***

 

After a couple of minutes.  
— Sherlock?  
— mmm...  
\- Sherlock, I've read one fanfic...  
\- And?  
— I want to try it.  
— So! - Sherlock jumped up, got dressed rapidly and ran away in an unknown direction.  
— And what is he? - John looked after him, - I just wanted to buy a cake and watch Doctor Who.


	214. Western

Podd Maclagen was sitting at the bar at a separate table and counted the cash. He was the coolest friend in town Snitched. He was holding a local casino, a saloon and a brothel. All the money from this went to him.  
Podd himself was a large man with square shoulders, crooked legs and a thick midsection, successfully hidden a free jacket. His head looked like a kind of egg, in some places covered with sparse bristles reddish. Eyes — pale blue, thick lips. And character far not sugar.  
It was easier to say he was the mastermind and money. He kept all the bandits and milked everyone in this town engaged in activities, up to the priest and the undertaker.  
And these two professions flourished. Every day someone was killed and buried.  
So Podd flourished and grew fat, like a spider.

The door slammed, and the room came from the figure. Podd looked up. In the center stood a woman. She was dressed in black jeans, a tight appetizing smooth curves of the hips, and a plaid red shirt, which was clearly not the corset because the gorgeous Breasts of the fifth size was stretched tight the fabric of his shirt... her Face, alive and pale, framed by thick brown hair cascading on the shoulders. Hazel eyes watched carefully and directly. She loudly tsokaya savvy boots, went to the bar and sat down on the chair, said a deep contralto:  
\- Give me something buddy, rye!  
— MA'am, are you sure? - asked the bartender, a thick untidy black man of indeterminate years.  
— Of course...  
— Jock, give her what she wants — Podd perched on a nearby chair, - I haven't seen you before... Passing through?  
— RAID — briefly replied the woman.  
— Are you going to stay?  
— We'll see.  
— And you are so... mouth-watering ... — Podd coveted licked his lips  
— Do you want to see what I have under my shirt? - a woman knocked over a glass in his mouth and turned to Podd.  
— Do you want to? — Podd not believe his luck.  
\- Duel, — the woman said, — right now. Revolvers. Shooting me a strategically important button — see what I have under my shirt. But if I'm shooting something — get out of town.  
— You, baby, I do not deny, — the angry Podd.  
— I don't care, — the woman took a second full glass and threw the Support face.  
— I'll show you what it means to mess with me, - cried Podd, suffused with rage.  
— See you on the street, - a woman came out.

Soft evening comes into its own.  
The city fell in a gray twilight.  
On main street stood two.  
A woman and a man.  
The whole town is hiding.  
There was a ringing silence.   
But then someone somewhere sneezed.  
And were two shots.  
The opponents left standing.

The woman then moved to Podd. Podd felt the heat in his groin, but couldn't understand what happened to him... hurt Him? The woman approached him, bent down, picked up something from the ground.  
— Now it's your turn...  
— I have not promised, - protested Podd, - I won, and I want you. You will be mine!  
— Fled, — a woman turned in front of Podd something, what's Podd the horror acknowledged his fuck, — get out of here. My bullet is lubricated with a special compound, from which you will die within six months...  
\- Bitch!!! — squeaked Podd and ran away, leaving behind a chain of drops of blood.  
\- Another trophy, - the woman said, dropping the piece of flesh in a canvas bag, - soon I'm gonna knock them all out of town.


	215. Swan lake

— What are you doing my dear friend? — the great detective in amazement staring at the doctor, who had already broken half an hour galloping around the living room in a white t-shirt and tights.  
— Rehearse, — said Watson, standing up on tiptoes and squatting.  
— What are you rehearsing? — Holmes in deep shock watched as Watson pulls a sock.  
— Swan lake, — Watson blurted out, — I signed up to Nijinska. I, Lestrade, Moriarty and Mycroft. Dance of the little swans...  
— If Mycroft will dance it, you will dance the bad fat capons, — said Holmes, — who plays?  
— I am the Prince, Lestrade — Odette, Moriarty — Odile, Mycroft is a sorcerer.  
— For the premiere of don't wait, - Holmes went to her room.

***

 

— God! Holmes?! Why are you wearing white tights and a white t-shirt? - was amazed Watson, entering the apartment of Holmes.  
\- Rehearse, — panting, gasped Holmes.  
— What? - bitterly asked Watson.  
— Ballet ...  
— What?!  
— Swan lake. I troupe to Nijinska signed up, - Watson raised his leg, - and take me the doctor's waist. We're going to learn fouettes.  
\- And who are you in this ballet will be? - Watson no even went to Holmes.  
— I — Odette, Moriarty — Prince, Lestrade — Odile.  
— Oh, my God! — patter said Watson and retreated.

***

 

— Watson? What is it? — Holmes stopped at the threshold, wiping his glasses.  
— Rehearsal — muttered Watson. He, naked to the waist, white tights twisted Martha in a white dress.  
— Rehearsal for what?  
\- Ballet...  
— What?  
— Swan lake. Come here, Holmes, I taped you, too...  
— I can't dance...  
— I'll learn. Martha — Odette, you're a Prince, I — Odile. Moriarty is a warlock.  
\- I don't want to be a Prince! - in despair, Holmes said.  
— Have... — threateningly hissed Watson.

***

 

— John, what are you doing? - Sherlock stared in amazement at one another.  
— You better don't look so shocked, and hold my waist...  
\- Why?  
— You'll keep me while I'm doing fouettes...  
\- Okay, - agreed Sherlock, so do not understand anything.  
He took John's waist, and he began to bend in all directions.  
— What are you rehearsing for? — inquired Sherlock.  
— Swan lake, — breathed John, — you're down for the role of Odette, I'm a Prince, Jim — Odile, Mycroft is an evil genius.  
\- Hey! I'm not going to participate in this avant-garde!!! - protested Sherlock, - I even did not sign it.  
— Does not happen.In a month, we tour.

***

 

— Take me to the theatre, begged Holmes — I want to see "Swan lake" directed by Nikita Mikhalkov!!!  
\- I'm not going to go on THIS!!! — yelled Joan, - and you do not advise


	216. Conversations

— Look, Sherlock, - once said Ben, sitting in the kitchen of the apartment on Baker street, — that Mick is going on?  
— What about him? - asked Sherlock. He was sitting on the other side of the table watertoy shirt and worn pants.  
— Yes, he growls now... for us... - Ben took a SIP of his tea.  
— It is clear that growling, - is pricked up his ears, Sherlock, — I would have grumbled if I in the side and then someone placed...  
— Why? - Ben wistfully looked in the mug, - so I let my wife, little son, a successful career, but pulls me to Mick`s, for the life of me. Don't know why...  
— I also stalling, - agreed Sherlock, - and I don't even know why... Mick warm, reliable and good. I think that he even will provide us the money if we need to seize the...  
— Maybe Mick does someone supplied the money?  
— Everything can be....  
— So you offer to find the one he was supplied with money, and asking for help? And how do you imagine? We find this man, if he exists, and tell him, saying that Mick grumbles at us, because we want to be with him, and he doesn't want it... don't You think it sounds crazy?  
— That's me to a standstill and poses, — said Sherlock.  
— Then maybe we just talk to Mick? Either together or separately...  
\- We just need to wait for it, — summed up Sherlock

After a moment's silence, Ben said,  
— Listen, and suddenly Mick really ever helped anyone?  
\- Anything can happen, - Sherlock shrugged.  
— We are with him like two old faggot...  
— I'm not a faggot, - is hoisted Sherlock.  
— I'm not gay, but I can't shake the sense of wrongness of what is happening...  
— Realize that it is wrong, - Sherlock looked at Ben, - but can't help myself...

In the late evening.

— Mick?  
— What do you want, Sherlock?  
— Don't be greedy, OK? I wanted to ask you...  
— What?  
— Well, you just grumble at us when they find me or Ben at his side...  
\- I see, - Mick reached out and patted Sherlock's hair, - sometimes I want to be alone, and you're using me as a pillow to sleep. Sometimes I want to have something warm close by, but when I want to, you as luck would have it, there...  
— And you have helped someone? Money?  
— Been a long time, - Mick was nervous, - but this is a very old story... And don't remind me about it.  
— Bad memories? - sympathetically murmured Sherlock.  
— No, on the contrary... very good, - snorted Mick, - so good that it is better not to remember, but then again the heart ache.  
— Come here, give me a hug, - Sherlock moved closer to Mick`s and hugged, hugged her.  
\- Thank you, - Mick clung to reliable breast Sherlock and closed his eyes.


	217. Crumbs

— I want to heat...  
— I also want...  
\- Let's push each other.  
— Come on.

***

 

— You're so warm and delicious!  
— And you smell like creamy ice cream.  
— Do not talk about ice cream in this cold.

***

 

— Go to sleep. Let's get you comfortable...  
— Can I hug you?  
— Of course.

***

 

— I feel so close to you.  
— Me, too.  
— I want to stay with you.  
— I want this too.

***

 

— You do not mind that I a bit?  
— I, too, just like you.  
— Mutually.

***

 

— Last. Do you mind if I put my head on your shoulder?  
— In any case.  
— I later in the sleep process will still slip.  
— Can't, I'll give you a hug.

***

 

— (whispers in ear) I love to hear your breathing, your heartbeat.  
— (hurried whisper). Sleep, your heart me so sweetly lulls.


	218. Grandma.

Grandma soared in eternal sleep.  
Left quietly, leaving us  
void.....  
...and pain.....  
.........and confusion...

Now we are going to get used to living without her.

Yes, this is the grandmother of Nina, what was the character of the "Severe Ural memoirs of a grandmother or the suffering of the young Benedict".

At the age of 98 years.

Not written.

I do not think.

To support the family.

Support of each other.

Others just don't know.

I hope they don't vyaknut stuff when they find out, and then I punch them.

And I have a aching tooth.

Healthy.

Stress.


	219. Kisses

Mick woke up with the feeling of a kiss.

He sat down on the bed and looked around.

In the room, except him, nobody was there.

Mick went back and started to think.

— "Snjezana no. She's at school. Sherlock either. He's with Georgina for some goat run. Ben and Sophie are sitting. Then who kissed me? Who could it be?"

And nothing-think again Mick ducked under the blanket, wrapped herself in it and fell asleep.

And again felt someone's warm hands gently around him and a very familiar breathing nearby.

But this time, Mick knew who it was.

He smiled and plunged into the bright Nirvana of dreams.


	220. The meek lamb.

\- My dear Missy, - once said Davros the Master, - and not to go on a little trip?  
\- Where?  
— I want to go to the planet Aqua.  
— What is it?  
— There is water. A lot of water. We will be there to sunbathe and relax. As Daleks ballerina will dance, Daleks — singers to sing, and Daleks massage therapists massage.  
— Yes! - cried here Missy, - I agree.

And they went.

But there it was.

They flew fine. Took a fancy to a little island and began to relax.

On the second day near the island crashed space ship.

The survivors came ashore.

— What's your name? - asked Missy, modestly draped palm leaves.  
— Avon, — whispered the dark-haired man and lost consciousness.  
— Do you know Avon? - Missy turned to Davros.  
— No, my love, I don't know. Let's get him into the shade and bring the manipulators of the Daleks — nurses.

No sooner said than done.

On the third day the sky was a roar. The horizon was filled with the flash of a nuclear explosion that happened somewhere in orbit. And the island wave brought another one.  
— Who are you? — grated Davros, leaning on the young guy of years of twenty-six. The poor fellow was pale; between the rags looked through wounded skin. Blonde hair is matted from blood and sand.  
\- Hey... Avon, - gasped the poor fellow lost consciousness.  
— But we already have Avon! - was amazed Davros, but as the guy said nothing,Daleks nurses have engaged in them.

A week has passed.

And the island arrived two. Tall men in dark suits.  
— Who are you? - asked Missy, coming to them in all the splendor of the naked body.  
— We are agents of the Space Bureau of Investigation. Mulder and Doggett.  
— Why you visited this island? — continued to ask Missy.  
\- We came to arrest micomicona criminal. His name is Avon.  
— We have two of them. What do you need?

She took them to the hospital tent, and the agents saw two. They ignored the blond boy and took first.  
— Who is this then? — grated Davros.  
— The poor fellow apparently had made, — the agents in charge, and sailed away from the island.

A day later there was a rustling, and the island fell, rustling solofan packs some type. He took the blonde and flew with him into the sunset.  
And Missy and Davros didn't notice this because passionately kissed, sitting under a palm tree and not paying attention to the lazy emerald waves lapping on the shore.


	221. The pain

Mick looked at his hands.

He sat in his car and looked at hands.

They were lying on the steering wheel.

Just laid there.

But Mick`s didn't like it.

Perhaps it was the fact that they were covered in blood. Okay so spattered with blood.

But whose?

Whose blood was it?

It?

Or his partner?

And, by the way, where's his partner?

But then in the car climbed his partner, Max Tanski.  
— Are you okay? — asked Mick, barely moving her lips.  
\- Yes, - tersely replied Max, what's up?  
— What happened?  
\- Nothing.  
— And... the blood come from?  
\- I understand, - Max slightly effaced, — you just killed a man...  
— Yes?! — Mick turned his head and looked at his partner, - and you came to arrest me?  
\- No, - snapped Max, - you killed the bad man.  
— Here is how?  
— It was a very bad man, - firmly believes Max, - he murdered four civil, five police officers and wounded Carl`s.  
— It is interesting. Why can't I remember anything?  
\- Because you flew into a rage. You literally tore it to shreds. And then turned and walked away.  
\- And... there were a lot of witnesses?  
— I, Roger, and Steve. We will support you, no doubt.  
— I don't feel good, — said Mick, — I feel that I something did...  
\- Why?  
— I don't know  
— Do not worry, — Max patted Mick`s on the shoulder, - let's go down to the station.  
— Let's go back... to the scene, — suddenly decided Mick.  
\- Why?  
— I want to understand.  
— Okay. Come on.

They got out of the car and went into the apartment building. On the tenth floor of one apartment was covered in blood. Lumps body strewn across the apartment.  
— What do you want to see? — asked Max, Mick`s flowing into the apartment.  
\- I'll tell you when I see you, - Mick stood and looked from wall to wall, - floor to ceiling look... but I've never been here...  
— Are you sure?  
\- Yes. And it's not the human body...  
— Whose is it?  
\- I don't know.  
\- Where the owner of the apartment?  
— He's here, — Mick stepped into the room, grabbed the gun and, sharply krutanuvshis, pointed a gun in the forehead to Max.  
— What are you doing? - freaked out and exclaimed Max.  
\- You. Not. Max. — separately said Mick.  
— Mick, stop joke, — in the face of Max there was some kind of petulant expression, and dark eyes flashed with fear.  
— My partner has blue eyes and dark hair. And I do remember that I went alone, because Max is engaged in another case at the other end of California...  
\- So, - sighed not-Max, - the cards are revealed and the mask dropped. How you caught me?  
\- I have no idea, - smiled Mick, - but I couldn't break the man... And Roger is usually doing his business himself...  
— Yes, — not-Max scratched his rapidly balding head, - I thought I would be able to get rid of you. Just because you don't believe that the killer of six civilian and three policemen died in a shootout... But I was wrong. Have to kill you here. - Sorry mate. You were a worthy opponent, but I don't like witnesses, - and non-Max moved to Mick`s.

He fired.

A bullet from a gun Mick`s got the killer right in the middle of the forehead.

The head exploded with blood by the brain, but the assassin kept moving.

Mick shot his entire clip almost point blank... But the enemy fell only after his head, there was nothing left.

Mick leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy, and lost consciousness.

***

 

— Mick? Mick? Wake up...  
Mick opened his eyes. Around him bustled the paramedics, and sat next to the Lieutenant and looked at him.  
\- I'm all right, - Mick said firmly.  
— I know, — nodded the Lieutenant, - you found Carl on the tip of the Wine. VIN yelled that you were in danger and lost consciousness...  
— I did it.  
— Yeah. Now take a look at you and go home. Tomorrow will come and write a report.  
— Thank you, Lieutenant, - smiled Mick


	222. Question

Why nobody reads, I have less garbage?  
And when you write outrageous stuff, as many commentators suddenly climbs.  
And anyway, I don't need anyone.  
Not on this site and anywhere else...  
I currently do not need...  
And the rest even more so.

Matrix division of space.  
Green slime crawls from the walls of the universe  
Why?

Can I somewhere those turn back?  
Chose the wrong path?

To be honest, my achievements can only be called the following —   
The poetic voice in the wilderness (1-2 parts);

Stupid thoughts... (part 1 -2), but not all, something read, something sucks;

 

A BROKEN CHAIN;

 

On the other side of the border;

 

Village detective, Semka-sorcerer;

 

Hide and seek in the maze;

 

Disassembly of the twenty-first century (has not held up production of the novel, but at least tried);

 

About a new world in the wondrous effulgence of the stars;

 

The case of the Montagues and the Capulets;

 

Tales from the crypt Martha Hudson;

 

The January mystery;

 

SOMETHING IS ROTTEN IN THE STATE OF DENMARK;

 

Flying maniac masochist and brutal viktivnym dick pervert;

 

The long road of forgetfulness (from this I sat for a long time, and the version that is laid out here is fundamentally different from the original. Nine years I spent on it)

And the rest, not included in the list are garbage of varying degrees. Something better, something worse. What is born, from anger, from joy, from cockroaches in the head, that — from the butterflies in the stomach.

Something from rainbow...  
I don't promote themselves... and not beg for likes.  
And the fact that something recommended got, so I'm still in shock.

I'm going to bed


	223. Crazy ideas

— Bear! Bear! I want to swim! Bear, a Bear! Let treated!  
— The patient from the seventh chamber!!! Nurses reassure the poor girl.

***

 

— What is that strange sound?  
— A Drunken Harry and the toilet Crybabies Myrtle.

***

 

— What's that?  
— What?  
— Scary sounds coming from that corner?  
— A Drunken Harry in the chamber of the head physician!

***

 

— What happens there?  
— Where?  
— There...  
— Ah, there It is... a Drunken Harry trying to find a gallstone.

***

 

— What cries! What kind of smoke?  
\- Is A Drunk Harry...  
— ... well, to hell with him!  
— ... out of the bath...

***

 

— Who's in the dark down the corridor for interviews?  
— Quieter. A Drunken Harry.  
\- And what does he do?  
— Does, and did...  
— What?  
— Drinking the Cup of fire water.

***

 

— What Drunk Harry so happy?  
\- His doctor was awarded the order of the Sphincter!

***

 

— New patient?  
— Right. Prince name. They say that-whether the mother was a Princess, or daddy — Prince...  
— A Drunk Harry what?  
\- Nothing. he him over Breakfast, face smashed, it seemed that on the bottle attempts.

***

 

— You saw today a Drunk Harry?  
— No, what?  
— He gifts stolen...  
— Whose?  
— The head physician.

***

 

\- Today we subscribe to freedom with a clear conscience the following patients — Drunk Harry, Hermione Squealer and Ron Gamer , Goodbye, I hope we'll see each other.


	224. The tale Masha

Lived in one Kingdom and two girls.  
Handsome face, body white, thick braids.  
And was that one — Masha — Mistress, and the second — Masha — Whore.

One house was a delight.  
And floors then cleaned, whitewashed ceilings and painted walls.   
All handmade carpets and doilies embroidered and crocheted tablecloths...  
And clean, and really cute.   
And food on the table.

And the second house was tidy and everything.   
But all the room's giant bed was occupied.   
And it only with all the carrying on.   
All state she has visited.

And it's time to get married.

Masha — Mistress for Ivan the Fool went.   
All day long he lay on the stove, the ceiling spat, but wanted.   
And because he was related to dowry and dowry the work involved.  
Sivka-burka dress, Pike money throws, ex — Helen of Troy — in the current economy helps.   
The case at all.   
And Ivan the Fool in charge.

Masha — Whore for the king popped up.   
It is lay - lie down, on balls dragged my husband screaming.   
King poor, this way and that, and everything is bad

And one day Tsar Ivan in the pub faced drunk and decided the fate of the exchange.   
Ivan the Fool became king, and the king of the landowner.   
But his wife when they left.

King noble was a farmer.   
Lives happily ever after.   
Many children, Masha — Mistress is overjoyed.

And Ivan the Fool destroyed the whole country, all ransacked and his wife's feet did in the eighteenth Brumaire.

So the fairy tale ended.  
I don't have a penny not get, only to finish, finish to left


	225. Holding hands

Mick knew that the problem will not go away as long as it does not solve, but how to deal with his problem, he didn't know.  
He thought of the darkness all sorts of developments, but intuition said that it is necessary to solve quickly, otherwise, then all will be forgotten.

The first thing Mick came home, put her arm around the waist of his beloved wife and asked:  
— Snezhana, my dear, I have a problem.  
— What, my severe police? — gently cooed Snezhana.  
— You know, the thing is, - Mick was buried in silver hair wife, - I love you more than life, but sometimes I just get a headache Ben`s.  
— Here, silly, — Snezhana turned to Mick`s and hugged his neck, — it's all right. You're his true love. Let me call him!  
— Oh, do not, — scared Mick, — what will he think of me?  
— Nothing to think. The bromance will be. Sit and have a chat...

 

***

 

— Mick? - Ben incredulously stared at Snezana, — does he?  
— He misses you, — smiled slyly Snezana, - very, very...  
— Why does he not come himself?  
— Because, he fears, - explained Snezana.  
\- Why?  
\- Because he thinks that you it is absolutely not necessary...  
— Needed, — Ben raised his left eyebrow and smiled, — he's so shy...  
— Here and go to him.

***

—Why haven't you called? - Ben gently hugged Mick`s, — my little Sparrow.  
\- Ben. We need to talk, - said Mick, making no attempt to escape from the warm hands.  
— I hear you...  
They sat on the edge of the dock and looked at the fading sunset.  
— I want to know why you need me?  
— Because I'm your friend... because I love you...  
— But you're married... and you have a child...   
— ... and you. I'm tight hug and a kiss on the tip of the nose, and then would start stroking your neck, I miss you.  
— Is that all? Purely for the fact that Pat and kiss and then to use me as a warm pillow for sound sleep?  
\- No, - Ben smiled, — I want to offer as a cushion...  
— In terms of?  
— In the sense that you will hug me, bury in my neck and go to sleep... peacefully...  
\- Ben, you're a wonder, - Mick exhaled and buried the other in the neck, — why are you so warm and good?  
— Because I love you, Sparrow, - Ben hugged Mick`s and hugged him, - calm down. I'm a magical doctor Strange, and I'll help you to cope with your problems.  
— Yeah, — Mick sobbed, stronger clung to Ben buried her face in his shoulder, - I already calm down...  
\- Well, - Ben covered it with his hand, - will sit up nights holding hands and meow...  
— Murr, — pretty-Nyan Mick


	226. Frame

Sherlock was doing a strange thing. It was terrible, horrible and bloody murder. And no one knew anything. Who was killed? And why?  
And John tried to help a friend, but didn't know how to do it. And once Sherlock had told him next, trying to be gentle with him:  
— John! You  
not  
know  
with  
anyone  
contact?  
You  
concepts  
not  
have  
in  
what  
you  
getting yourself into?  
It  
creepy  
tangled  
history.

On  
what  
John  
replied:  
I  
not  
know  
who  
killed.  
I  
just  
not  
know  
as  
it  
did.  
I  
you  
will help  


And took Sherlock a help of a friend, and together they began to investigate this matter. And they caught this bastard. And it turned out that this is Moffat.


	227. Vampire

— Holmes!  
— Yes, my dear friend, what happened? - Holmes teased with forceps ember in the fireplace, lit them up.  
— What is that vile smell? - Watson grimaced in disgust.  
— But you're not on this question came to me?  
— Of course not, - Watson dropped to his knees to the great detective "Daily Telegraph", — in East London, they discovered the vampires.  
— Sadly, I don't do vampires, - said Holmes, and plunged into the contemplation of the smoke.

2

 

— Holmes!!! - Watson broke into the modest home of the detective, — get up!  
— What happened? - Holmes mercilessly lifted his aching head from the pillow.  
\- What, what, what... Vampires in London announced...  
\- Would you, Watson, to the devil! I'm a detective, not evil hunter, - Holmes dropped his head on the pillow and fell asleep.

3

 

— Holmes! And you know who I got today? - Watson stood by the doorpost and methodically wiped the scalpel on the apron.  
\- I have no idea, - Holmes wiped his glasses.  
— Three fresh cadaver with characteristic bites to the neck...  
— In terms of?  
— In the sense that we have in London vampires showed up. Have you, Holmes, to think...  
— I don't do vampires.

4

 

— Sherlock...  
\- What?  
— See what the blogs written...  
\- The stuff written there...  
— No, not nonsense, — grinned John, - on YouTube posted a video with a strange and terrible murder.  
— What?  
\- He scored three thousands of likes already.  
— The world has gone mad, - Sherlock pointedly turned his back to John and sniffed.

5

 

— Joan?  
— What happened?  
— Yesterday I saw a vampire...  
— While you're drinking and Smoking, there is more to see.

***

1

 

— I hate to admit it, but I need much blood, — on the threshold of the living room at 221 b Baker street has grown as a short guy with a thin soulful face and bottomless blue eyes, dressed in an elegant black suit, - if you have to borrow?  
— Not! — cried Watson and tried to stab the guy in the head with a fireplace poker. But he dodged.  
— I'm sorry, — blame the guy whispered and gently ran a hand over the neck of Watson.  
— What are you doing?! — yelled Watson.  
— You seem to me to be a perfect donor, — confused and unknown, gently clinging to the neck of the doctor stuck in his teeth.  
— Holmes!!! — squeaked Watson is trying to tear itself from the unknown.  
— What happened? - Holmes moved out of the clubs stinking of smoke, — Ah, Mr. Dorian Gray, now let my friend go, you'll breathe garlic fumes.  
— This second, — apologetically said the aforementioned Mr. and fragrant the last drop of blood has fallen from Watson, - excuse me, but so delicious I wanted blood. Let's bow, - and the guy left.  
— I am about to become a vampire, - wailed Watson, - Oh, my God! What do I do?  
— Stop the tantrum and have a drink of whiskey, - said Holmes, - and then go to sleep.  
— I will, — sob Watson and went to her room.

2

 

— I want your blood — the Holmes stumbled drunk in dyminu Watson.  
— What are you nuts? - Holmes anxiously looked at the doctor.  
— And I want, — capriciously handed Watson and, clinging to the frail chest of Holmes very gently wrapped it around his neck, — I want your blood, - and licked his unshaven neck detective of all England.  
— Watson! I insist on you going missing, - Holmes was trying to push Watson.  
— I want your blood, - said Watson, and quickly ripped the jugular vein of Holmes, — what a sweet blood, - moaned Watson, swallowing dark blood detective.  
\- My blood is all opium, - murmured Holmes, and passed out.

— This was the most delicious, — Watson lowered his bloodless body of Holmes on the floor and sighed, - that would be a job for Lestrade.

3

 

\- I know who wound up in London!!! - cried Holmes from the doorway.  
— Yes? — Watson turned to Holmes, - really?  
— What have you got chin dripping? — fearfully said Holmes as he retreated back to the street.  
— Oops, — Watson otter lips with the sleeve, — are to blame, cornered at the wrong time. Now I have to kill you.  
— So you're the vampire?! God... - those were the last words of Holmes.

4

 

— Your long neck makes me so, - passionate whisper reached the ears of Sherlock, but he couldn't understand whose voice it is.  
— Who are you? - asked Sherlock.  
— Does not matter, — a gentle tongue slid across his neck and held the damp track to the collarbones, - you're so soft, and your gorgeous blood support me in the future.  
Someone's hands picked him up and Sherlock saw a white tub.  
But no, this bath was not white; the walls slid the scarlet threads of blood.  
And it was half-filled with blood, already darkening and dark film.  
Sherlock squinted his eyes.  
Near the wall lay the body.  
Familiar body but with no head.  
And the head...  
Oh, my God ... head!  
The head was standing at the sink, and in the distorted features of which Sherlock found out John.  
— Show yourself, you... thing!!! — croaked Sherlock, - I want to see your eyes!!!  
— No problem, — turned him around and Sherlock saw Martha Hudson.  
— Martha?! Why?!  
\- I'm not Martha, I am the great granddaughter of Erzebet Bathory! And I want blood! — with these words, Martha cut off Sherlock's head and dropped the headless body in the tub, - now I will be forever young and beautiful.

5

 

\- And vampires don't exist, - said Holmes.  
\- Right, - said Joan and hammered in the chest with Holmes a stake, — and is prevention.


	228. Questions

Tricky question — while I'm writing all sorts of horrors, dismemberment, hints of slash from some new readers.  
Start to write good and eternal — the quiet readers off.

Had 57 readers.  
Became 53.

Where do they go?

Gold

Mid

 

My

 

Readers.

And I do not get paid a salary. Detained for a month and a half.

But I'm not angry enough to write a sequel to two brutal works.

But I will write... to be sure.

Will be a terrible killing, eating their own kind, dismemberment of the horrific details...

Lots of blood, lots of blood...

Why peck at the blood?

And slash in the bed?

If I'm online kiss all their readers, what will happen?

My readers, I kiss you!

And beta too.

And music basis...

Wow!

The wind!

 

Cold!

 

Spring!!!!!


	229. About Holmes

Holmes was a terrible old impotent maniac.

All the crimes that he investigated, was his hands.

More than anything he loved to mock the neighbors and a housewife.

As will sit sometimes in the morning, as you begin the violin twang, so at least run out of the house.

And he loved food to pour, especially Lestrade, because that usually started rinsing at work.

And most of it was favorite thing to tell his son, who was also Sherlock Holmes name was, how smart he is.

***

 

And his son, when he grew up, also acquired the doctor settled in your father's house on Baker street 221 b and began his doctor to bring.

But the doctor all the time were beaten in the face.

However, it did not help.

And that's got son by his son, called Sherlock Holmes, and began to tell him about how smart and nice he was.

***

 

And when the son grew up, was extremely downtrodden creature who found dad, the doctor instantly turned in his favor.

The doctor and beat him, and scared, and drove home.

But Holmes III did not give up.

Managed son to do yourself, the truth from anyone... no one knows, not even the doctor, even daddy with grandpa.

And was named in honor of his grandfather, Sherlock Holmes.

***

And, this honey has grown.

Beautiful, smiling, slim...

The new doctor, grandpa was found, was crazy about him.

But the terrible thing is, grandpa's zealous, a thousand years no one raised on the great-granddaughter of a very...

Yes grandson this case is not loved, but son himself begat. From Irene Adler.

This is also called the son of Holmes.

But alas...

***

 

This Holmes all his life was dope and drink, and therefore died without children.


	230. Sleep

He woke up on white floating table.  
Everything around was white and shone with subdued light.  
He sat down, swung his legs and looked around. Nothing in this white room is not indicated to belong to the hospital or the morgue.  
He looked at himself. Completely naked, the left half of the cast metal.  
He raised his right hand and placed it on his chest.  
On the left side of the chest. His fingers felt freezing cold metal... the Metal was on the whole left side, but it rapidly closed rapidly regenerating skin.  
He swung his legs off the floating table, found nowhere who took the clothes, got dressed and stepped outside the room.  
He could not remember his name.  
He didn't know who he is and how he got here.

***

 

Beyond the threshold of the white room was a dark hallway. Oak walls the color of aged whiskey, a fluffy rug and a dim lamp, stylized torches.  
He went deep into the corridor and came across an oak door.  
Opened it.

***

 

In the depths of a huge room under an oak table where in a chaotic manner were different tripods and lay thick tomes, covered with dust, sat the little disgusting creature.  
Seeing the guest loudly it rasped:  
— You finally got up? This is commendable.  
\- Where am I? - asked the guy feel extremely uncomfortable.  
— You have me, — his voice was friendly freak.  
— Who am I? — the guy was OK with the idea that he doesn't remember anything about himself, nor about the events of the past days, months, and years, if any existed.  
— I did, - explained the freak, — you — the world's first cyborg. Part of your body is metal and part human.  
— What's my name?  
\- I don't need is your name, - freak got up and approached the guy.  
He really was a freak — a small torso dressed in a black suit, egg-shaped bald head, a hooked nose, bulging eyes, big ears, wide mouth. Tiny, but very agile hands and feet. — You will live in another room.  
\- But... I can't get out?  
— I can't.  
\- Why?  
— It is impossible, - freak hurt grabbed the guy's finger withdrew and spent in another.

***

The second room was great. Part of the right wall held a large window. From it was visible completely yellow and dry desert, without a single tree. In the room were two people — a tall Negro woman with short green hair, long legs and small Breasts, and the second was a short girl with white skin and a mane of crimson hair. They sat on the big bed in the Nude and ate dates.  
\- Now he will live with you, - rasped the monster and left.  
The guy remained standing on the threshold.  
He didn't feel like looking at those girls. He did not understand what to do.  
— My name is Lala, - said the Negro woman, — and her — Amada. And you?  
— I don't know, — answered the guy, — what happened?  
— This freak told us when we opened his eyes that he did, — Amada smiled, — and he said that the world had a nuclear disaster, and the human race is extinct. In place of people came accolade and the beastmen. We are the last of the genus of humanity.  
— And he?  
\- And he is the representative accolade.  
\- And it turns out that we can't get out of this house?  
\- Yes. Can't.

***

Drip monotonous dull days.  
Guy felt a strange longing, but I couldn't understand what's eating him.  
But one day when inner itch has seized him, he fled. Climbed to the attic, opened the window and jumped out.  
He suggested that most likely he will die, but the reality of it struck.  
Around the house was not of the desert. Grew up there is gorgeous, though extremely neglected garden. The guy climbed over the dilapidated fence and went out on the deserted street.  
He aimlessly wandered through it a good half hour, when suddenly around him gently landed the flyer, and from there looked low, but strong man, dressed in a black jacket.  
— Booth? Baby Booth? Is that you? - he said loudly, - and we thought you were dead!  
— Is this for me? — the boy looked at the stranger.  
\- Yes, - said the other; - get in the car and talk.

The guy climbed into the dark interior of the flyer.  
— Your name is Baby Booth. You work with me as a private detective. Three weeks ago we took some jerk, and you were in the collapsed building. We were looking for you, but to no avail. What happened to you?  
\- I don't remember, - replied Baby Booth, - I don't remember anything.  
\- It's not important, - replied his companion, - I found you, and this is important. Now I'll bring you home, you sleep, eat and then start work.  
— ...you know, I am now a cyborg... - Booth swallowed, — so said the guy, whose house I was...  
\- I don't know what to say. And, by the way, my name is Charlie Rolls.  
— Your name is Charlie, me Booth, - repeated Bout, - right.

***

 

Everything went well.  
Baby Booth remembered part of his life, but not all.  
This life was much steeper than the previous one. But Booth was mortally afraid that his cyborg body gets out of control. But one day when he and Charlie took someone a freak, he shot Booth.  
The bullet hit booth in the left shoulder. Booth had expected the bullet will fly away from him, but she with a soft smack came in the flesh... and it was painful.  
— You're obviously not a cyborg, - said Charlie, bandaging Booth, — you lied. Your name is on the letter.  
— From whom?  
\- I do not know.  
Booth took the letter. In it was a sheet with the address.

In the morning they went to the address. It was the house from which he escaped. Booth and Charlie walked into the house a tall gentleman in a brown suit.  
— Kid Booth? - inquired the gentleman.  
\- Yes, - cautiously answered Booth.  
— At the request of the owner of the house you have been invited for the announcement of the will.  
— Who was he?  
— Oh! It was a very smart man, but unfortunately nature has not endowed him. He was born a freak. And hating the whole world, decided to take revenge. He found you and two other people. Warned you that you are the sole survivor and was going to use you for experiments. But you ran. And then realizing that you will realize that you are deceived, he made a will and bequeathed to you the part of the state.  
— Wonderful! - exclaimed Charlie.  
\- But unfortunately, his condition is not money, not gold... and a number of ancient books and your life.  
\- Why?  
\- The paint, which he tried to imitate the iron is poisonous if you can't find the antidote you will die within a month...  
— Bastard... — hissed Charlie, - let's get your books, we look for...  
— What about the girls? — remembered Booth.  
\- And girls... Girls were killed, - replied the gentleman, - he fed them some stuff...  
— Is he dead?  
— Died, hanged himself.  
— There to it and road...


	231. Creepy

Sea.

Man-made.

Ridin ' it, dude thick white flakes of unknown substance.

And suddenly on the opposite shore — the clouds of dust, and the sky was rocket.

The top is yellow, the rapid.

And the bottom four diffuse rings of blue-purple.

And under the rings — engines.

As we sail on this sea.

Me and my friend.

We swim in clothes.

We wanted to prevent this rise, but failed.

\- Is not just a missile, - I say.

Friend makes a stroke and snorts.

\- Is a ballistic missile designed for nuclear attack in space.

— This is bad, - he agrees.

\- But if it blows we do not see, - I say, and dive, dragging the other behind him, because they know that the missile will explode in a couple of hours, and to hide, we can't...


	232. Another dream

Sit with each other in some movie theater, watching a movie.  
Movie is boring, long, tedious. The plot is something like this — "one man took someone's money and not return. Therefore, those who gave him money to hire people who have to beat debtor, and he in turn hires someone else who was supposed to beat those who have beat it. They meet somewhere in the Park. There is a fight. One of the people involved in a mechanism of the carousel, his breaks, but his body looks like a broken mannequin. There is no blood".  
But a friend of mine dumps in the middle of this tedious movie, though touted and long.  
I'm going out later with everyone and only at the exit detects that the film turns out, is three hours instead of the planned half.

But be in a bright room where everything is painted. Give me a brush, I start painting.  
And here I draw on the wall. Some bright green stripes, yellow spots...  
And then there is my buddy and asks:  
— And what ended the film?  
— And you would have stayed and watched, - I turn around to him, — he was gone from the middle.  
— Boring movie, — moan mate.  
— Me myself it brought, — I mumble and turn to the wall, and the walls then and there.

We have a bright green forest. Through the forest the water flows. Clean, transparent. All looks — to-the-land, all grass, all wood, all the lower leaves.  
And the river buses sail — yellow, red, green, pink.  
— Listen, — I say buddy, — let's ride...  
— What? - he asks, staring brown eyes.  
— It is shown on the blue bus, whose roof is approaching us.  
— You're crazy, - dude my laughs, but jumps up to the roof. And I followed him.

The roof is warm.

Sailing close to the branches. We caught a few poles and they begin to paddle.  
But it turns out that sitting on the branches of a strange creature — a mixture of hobbits and ewoks, that of the "STAR WARS". They all jump on the bus and tell us they didn't know how to escape, and these colorful rafts they are great to come home.

And here we are sailing. The water sparkles in the sun. Heat. Leaves are bright green. Forest river turns left and dives into the ravine, and then emerges. In the ravine, such a nice shade, and the water can be seen bushes of wild cherry... Dark berries caressed by warm water, and you just want to dive in and eat them there.  
But here the river turns, and my friend and see the houses of our friends. They look like a round fluffy nests with the Windows and doors. Our shaggy friends popping up on the branch and ran to their homes.  
And the buses to bunch, my friend and we pass on him, jump on mossy hill and suddenly we're... at a local festival. My buddy awarded the medal of the White Cherry, and I give the certificate to the festival.  
And then I grow wings. I picked up a friend and we are in the blink of an eye find yourself on a white fluffy cloud, which is dotted with big red strawberries She lays there, she grows there.  
We sit on a cloud, eating berries and looking at the forest river.


	233. Bummer Senator

Chapter 1

— What it is!!! — high screaming reddish man in an expensive business suit standing in the middle of the large living room. His face is currently on par with color hair. His scream was listening to two pretty woman of about thirty, with short black hair, dressed in a Bathrobe and a young man in a black shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes.  
— What is it?! I ask!!! It's all bullshit!!! Tomorrow no exceptions! And the same gifts!!! And chocolate cake!!!  
\- But she doesn't like chocolate cake, — timidly said the woman.  
\- His whole life, ate chocolate cake!!! And anyway, I went to work. I have a tight schedule, - and the man left, slamming the door.

\- Why doesn't he want to hear? — sobbing, said the woman, - Benny not loves chocolate cake, she hates pink dress with ruffles, she's not playing with dolls.  
— Okay, — replied the second man, — he won't even know that we made it the birthday, Benny wants... And, as far as I know, the birthday of Benny's no tomorrow, in a month.  
\- Robert doesn't know our birthdays, - she said, - he but his policies did nothing.  
\- Him good, - replied the man, - and the birthday I you, mA'am, I promise.  
— Mick, you have a year with us; you it must cease to call me — "mA'am" and call by the name of...  
— Well, Margaret, - smiled Mick.

May 9 fell on a Sunday. The kids woke up early, but their father was busy for two days and the house slept.  
When everyone gathered in the kitchen, Mick, appearing there, announced:  
\- Today we have a wonderful day, so all going. And our birthday girl, and Jerry, and Liame, and your mother...  
\- And what do we do? - asked Benny, short red-haired girl, ten years old, dressed in a bright pink dress with a hideous yellow frills.  
\- To celebrate your birthday, — has unperturbably answered Mick, — I'll have Breakfast and go to a couple of wonderful places.

First stop was in a large Department store.  
— And then? - demanded Benny.  
— Like what? - surprised Mick, - don't you want to change this dress into something more comfortable?  
— I want it!  
— Go right ahead.  
— Mick, — Margaret, she was today in the colorful dress went to Mick`s, - but what do you say Robert?  
\- And Robert, when was the last time looked to Benny to say Goodnight? — Mick looked at Margaret, — you are right and I do not remember this. Is he even interested in you? I don't think. In our world... force girls to wear clothes that nobody wears, very strange. You never know what his mother was saying... You, Margaret, go choose the right clothes... Which you like, not your husband.  
\- But... - helplessly smiled Margaret, - I have no money...  
\- You have nothing to worry, — reassured her Mick, - go and waste money.

New things bought for everyone. Benny was dressed in black jeans, a brown-yellow shirt with the logo of Ferrari, the red-and-yellow sneakers and a black jacket.  
She stood and looked at the roller and skate, but still coped with the temptation.  
Jerry dressed in all black, and lime green.  
Margaret bought jeans, blouses, shirts...  
— Hungry? — asked Mick.  
\- No!!! — screamed kids, — we want to walk!!!  
— Okay, — Mick smiled, — to walk so to walk.

Salt lake glistened in the sun, and the sun stood at Zenith, when Mick brought to the entire company. He unloaded the SUV tent, mini-fridge, a couple of fabric chairs.  
— What are we doing here? - asked Jerry; he was like a mother and was older than his sister by a few years, but his birthday was a month later...  
— You know you love your sister? - asked Mick.  
\- Machine...  
\- Right, - Mick snapped his fingers, and the white haze emerged the silhouette of the black rapid car, — here I beg to love and favor, — Mick stroked the car's hood, - is a Mustang. He'll ride and I'll be right back.  
\- Wow!!! — yelled Benny, - MACHINE!!! AND I'M DRIVING!!! WOW!!!

While all the family, except dad, playfully rode a Mustang, Mick returned to the house of their employers. There was already a bustle of activity. A team of builders remodel the bedroom, Benny.  
Wallpapers with ponies and unicorns were ruthlessly destroyed, and in place of them there are Wallpaper with the cars and race cars.  
Candy pink bed throw. Her place was taken by the bed in a red-and-green race car.  
The dolls went in a paper bag, and from there to the nearest orphanage. All these Cutesy Barbie and Ken...  
The vacant shelves were models of cars.  
The computer has become similar to car visor. Huge display, semi-circular keyboard.

The builders left Mick with them paid off.  
Left in the room a few gifts and went to pick up the family from salt lake.

— It was cool!!! — excited Benny spun on the back seat of the jeep, - is pretty freakin ' cool!!!  
— You must be tired? — heavy sigh, said Mick, - and want to eat...  
— Yeah, what will we have? — Benny all got something, - delicious, right?  
— Get home, let's see...

Near the door of the house Mick stopped the car and turned to Benny:  
— Do you mind if I get your eye?  
\- Surprise!!! — yelled Benny, - you got me a surprise?!  
— Well... — he hesitated, gave up her wonderful blue eyes and took the girl upstairs, then went downstairs. They gathered in the kitchen, eagerly staring at the wonderful dishes standing on the table...  
Pizza, ice cream, chicken cutlets, pork ribs and cake. A huge vanilla cake decorated with candied fruit.  
— What did you get her? — jealously asked Jerry.  
— Then she'll show you, - replied Mick.

A cry of admiration, swept through the house, into the kitchen rushed a shining Benny's:  
— Mom, Jerry, Liame!!! Go here!!! There... is... Awesome...  
Room Benny began to resemble the salon of the car, but this is not important. The middle was design for racing cars, and around doors — elegant red-black-green skateboard and rollers.  
— Mick, — Margaret smiled, — you spend...  
— Okay, — Mick smiled, — let the child rejoice. She'll be a personality. Changed clothes, got a haircut, bought a backpack with a favorite logo...  
— Good for you, — Margaret gently looked at him, - and now... this!!!

Ate everything. Dad was not forbidden, but not welcomed. But dad was not, so all ate and went to bed.


	234. Manifesto

Unicorns, butterflies, whales, cats, jellyfish and elves to Express their indignation about the fact that they were chosen as messengers of death.   
Unicorn - clean noble animal that will only fit in the virgin. A mythical creature that symbolizes chastity, in the wide sense of spiritual purity and quest. Present it in the form of a horse with a single horn emerging from the forehead.   
Butterfly - a fragile creature that embodies the soul. Butterfly — symbol of soul, immortality, rebirth and resurrection, the ability to transformations, to transform, as this winged celestial being is born, from the mundane caterpillar.   
The whale - a symbol of the colossal power of nature, it is also an ancient symbol of rebirth.   
Cat in many mythological traditions associated with the moon (the ability to change the shape of the pupil symbolize the phases of the moon), with the idea of fertility, of fecundity. In addition, in some cultures it is a solar symbol, associated with the idea of royalty. Medusa – a symbol of peace and grace.   
There is no death.   
All of the above protest against death.   
“We, - said in the Manifesto, - symbols of goodness, purity, harmony, rebirth! We do not want to be messengers of death! Remove us from the suicidal groups!! You had no right to push us there! You can’t do that! We encourage everyone who loves us to enjoy life, to love, to grieve, to walk, to draw and watch good cartoons! Do not watch or listen to any idiots!”   
Unicorn. Butterfly. Cat. Keith. Medusa. Elf.


End file.
